December 29, 2013

A HAPPY HILL COUNTRY HOLIDAY!

HOWDY BUCKEROOS AND BUCKETTES! I hope y’all had a wonderful holiday. Ma and Pa Kettle (Patty and I) spent the last few days on the McCloskey Ranch, in the heart of the Texas Hill Country, wining and dining with family and friends. Our most groovy adventure began on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. Hey, am I dating myself by using the word “groovy?” I used to date myself in high school, but that’s another story. (I was very lonely.) Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the Riverwalk. Well, we strolled along the lovely river and then made our way to Mi Tierra Mexican Restaurant, the world’s BEST Mexican restaurant! After two (fabulous) margaritas, we feasted on a truly memorable meal.

Now don’t get mad at me, but… I ate a kid! I know it sounds cruel, but the kid was stewed to perfection and the meat literally fell off the bones. This particular kid was served with rice and beans! Well, you know what they say, “kids should be stewed, not herded.” (Don’t call the police, a “kid” is a baby goat!) Which reminds me, our waiter really “got my goat!” There wasn’t a baaaaad piece on my plate!

We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at Tim McCloskey’s humble abode, and his very significant other, Miss Hannah, rustled up some mighty good grubs, I mean, grub. We dined on a magnificent rib roast and maple ham, and then had the pleasure of watching Colton McCloskey drink an entire bottle of port! (almost) After dinner, we entered a cut-throat poker tournament, featuring the “Magical Minard Brothers,” (Andrew and Jeff) who just happen to be fine fellows and great card players. (I think their mother cheats, but I will tell the story of the 3 queens at a later date!)

Being a true cowboy, I decided to go horseback riding on the way back to Austin. Unfortunately, we stopped at a place that only had one horse! A mare named Molasses. She refused to gallop during the day. (She was a “night mare.”) Definitely not a “stable” animal! I rode bareback for a while, but then I got cold and put my shirt back on. All right, enough horsing around…..

In closing, I wish to thank Sarah Doolittle, a prominent reporter from the Four Points News, for her wonderful article, illuminating my illustrious writing career. Sarah recently penned a great article about me, and if you would like to read it, just Google: Four Points News. Click on the December 25, 2013 issue. You will see my mug on the front page (in color!) and a long article about my books. Thanks again, Sarah!

Finally, my next blog will be a special year-end treat for all of you Marx Brothers fans out there. You won’t want to miss this one! As I bid you farewell today, I ask that you ponder the following enigma….. What makes teflon stick to a pan???

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

December 15, 2013

“TIME” MARCHES ON!

Without me! Well, once again, I did not win TIME Magazine’s “Man of the Year Award.” Somehow, Pope Francis won. Naturally I asked for a recount of the votes, but I am not holding my breath. (The last time I held my breath it made me “blue!”) Since I lost, I thought I’d ask His Holiness to convey sainthood upon me, but no dice. (Did you know that the Vatican prefers Catholics? What’s up with that?) Anyway, I received a lovely email from the Pope (in Latin!) suggesting that I forward proof of 3 miracles that I have performed, and upon verification, they will consider a “saint-like” designation for me. Thus, I have sent the following miracles to Rome:

Miracle 1. I took the garbage can out to the curb 4 weeks in a row! (Unfortunately, I only brought it back twice.)

Miracle 2. I refrained from telling a bad joke for 8 hours! (I was sleeping, but it still counts.)

Miracle 3. I remembered the date of my wedding anniversary!

In case you’re wondering, my 7-year tenure at St. Edward’s University will mean bonus points for my cause. (assuming I return a few library books.) I shall keep you informed of my progress. So what else is new? Well, last Thursday was the annual River Place Garden Club Christmas Party. Each year the club holds a “white elephant,” but I don’t usually participate because I have no idea where to purchase a pale pachyderm. This year the party was hosted by the lovely and talented Jane Malone, and as usual, it was great fun. Thank you, Jane! You have a magnificent home!

Speaking of magnificent hosts and homes….. John and Andrea Schleich hosted a wonderful holiday get-together on Friday evening. (In their new custom home!) We were lucky enough to meet Andrea’s parents and children, and being from the heartland (Nebraska) they were all the most delightful people you can imagine. Welcome to the neighborhood! We look forward to seeing you in the near future.

NOW FOR SOME BOOK NEWS….. I was recently informed that my first two mystery novels (THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH) will soon be translated into French, Spanish, and Italian, due to a strong demand in those countries! This is the most wonderful news an author can get, and as you might imagine, the translated copies greatly increase sales. I would like to thank Murder Ink Press and Penguin Books for their continued support of my fledgling career. You folks are the best!

Tonight we are hosting a birthday party for Helena de la Bomblatus, a Portuguese princess from the Azores. I understand that the princess is bringing her husband (some sort of duke) and an interpreter from the islands. I don’t normally hob nob with royalty (unless I’m holding a royal flush in poker) so this should be a wonderful fun-filled evening. I will have to watch my manners, though. (No picking my teeth with a knife.)

Well, you must excuse me. I need to try on my tuxedo. God, I look like a penguin. (See how I worked in another reference to Penguin Books?) Yeah, I’m shameless. Have a wonderful week…. and be careful. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

December 1, 2013

PILGRIM’S PROGRESS…..

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Did you and yours gobble up lots of food? We had a veritable (Not vegetable) feast at my house. The dining room table was a sight for sore eyes… and sore bellies! I think I swallowed more stuffing than the bird. Speaking of birds, and let’s face it, Thanksgiving is for the birds, President Obama continued a long tradition by pardoning a plump turkey. (No, not Alec Baldwin.) The turkey’s name was “Popcorn.”

Which reminds me… Did you know that popcorn was invented by a high-ranking Army officer? Yep, the guy was a kernel. (Colonel) Every time he made popcorn his troops would butter him up. I would find that “ear-itating.” (Do you think these jokes are too corny?) All right, I’ll move on…..

My darling wife, Lucrezia Borgia Yanoff, made a splendid meal, and we were joined by my two beautiful daughters, my hard-working son-in-law, and most importantly, my grand-dog Baker. Truly a memorable feast. Especially for Baker. (He got the bigger half of the wishbone.) Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

Our festivities continued on Friday, when we drove down to my brother-in-law’s ranch in Boerne, Texas. (Boerne, pronounced “Bernie,” is a lovely town in the Texas Hill Country.) We got to visit with my brother-in-law, his sons, his lovely girlfriend, and several of my favorite in-laws from Dallas. We sat around an outdoor fire, sipping bourbon and beer, telling tall tales, and enjoying some wonderful comraderie. What a marvelous evening.

Since we’re on the subject of marvelous events….. If you recall, I previously mentioned that some of my new book covers had been nominated for “Outstanding design and layout” by a major trade group in New York. Well, the top prize went to a science fiction novel, but it was the first time in the group’s history that one author had received 3 nominations! Just for the record, I had little to do with the exterior of the books, but I am still very proud of this recognition. (These were the front covers of THE GRACELAND GANG, THE PIRATE PATH, and DEVIL’S COVE.)

Before I leave you, I must say “thanks” to Ms. Amy from Dallas (and her incredibly gorgeous mother, Judge Susan) for the delivery of my favorite “treat” in life (that’s legal)….. cheese pockets from Stein’s Bakery! Thank you, ladies!

Also, I would like you to know that this particular blog is dedicated to a dear friend of mine who is recuperating from foot surgery. (The Princess of Portugal) I hope you are feeling better, Princess. We look forward to your gala return to Austin. Central Texas is too quiet without you! (Although I’m trying my best to fill the void!)

Well, my dear family, friends, and blog followers….. I hope you had a joyous holiday, and like me, have much to be thankful for. God bless you all this coming year, and as is my custom, I shall leave you with a bad joke….. (Courtesy of my nephew, Colton) What do you call a cow with no legs? Are you ready? Ground beef!

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

November 17, 2013

FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY….. HAIR!

NO, I AM NOT READING THAT SEXUALLY PERVERSE BOOK! (I’m too old to learn anything about sex!) In fact, this is the title of my new book about senior centers down here in Florida. As many of you know, I have spent the past two weeks taking care of my mother, who is recovering (rather nicely) from hip replacement surgery. She is now in rehab and doing just fine. (At least two older gents have “hit on her.”) She told both gents that she no longer dates because her parents won’t let her. Mom is 88. When asked to explain, she told them, “Mother Nature and Father Time!”

My mother began rehab at Regents Park, which is quite lovely, but packed with very old folks. How old you ask? One lady had an insurance policy that covered Fire, Theft, and Indian Raids! (That’s old.) Another guy was so old that he remembered when Howard Johnson’s only had two flavors! (That’s even older!) My mother’s room-mate was so old that she remembered when there were only Five Commandments! (That’s the oldest joke of the bunch!)

Last Friday we transferred my mother to a place called Stratford Court, one of the nicest rehab facilities in Boca Raton. The lady that checked us in was from Haiti, and like most Haitians, she was a cheerful, sweet, and caring woman. We did, however, have one humorous incident involving our language differences. She was relatively new and not quite sure how to say or spell Boca Raton. We went through several names, and lots of good natured laughter, before we came to terms. (She wrote down Boca Chica, Boca Rouge, and my favorite, Boco Loco.) Nonetheless, we persevered and Mom was finally admitted. (By then I was ready to be committed!)

In case you’re wondering, THE GRACELAND GANG was the best-selling book at Regents Rehab, and THE PIRATE PATH the biggest seller at Stratford Court. (I actually donated 20 books to each gift shop, and incredibly, they sold out in one week!) Of course, I did do some marketing at both facilities. (I put one copy in every rest room, which one old lady told me was very appropriate. I’m not sure what she meant by that.) I also gave the staff some books, and they were very grateful. A copy of DEVIL’S COVE was sent to the insomnia care unit, and from what I hear, my writing put almost everyone to sleep. Gosh, my Mom was so proud of me.

Well, my stay in Boca Loca, I mean, Boca Raton, is coming to an end this morning. When I finish this blog, I will be leaving for Port Everglades, where my ship has finally come in and awaits my embarkation! I will be sailing aboard the brand new luxury vessel called the Royal Princess, bound for the remote and backward islands of St. Thomas, St. John, St. Martin, and St. Louis. (That last port should be interesting.) The weather here in Florida is sunny and warm and the seas look rather calm. (The rehab center probably dumped some Prozac in the ocean.) I am looking forward to a week of relaxation, poker, writing, and stealing those little bottles of shampoo that they give you each morning. You remember those bottles….. the ones you bring home and never use!

I shall write again whence we make landfall or are captured by a horde of considerate pirates….. Until then, I remain, (with love to all)

Doc Yanoff, Oceanic Explorer and Bon Vivant!

November 3, 2013

TRICK OR TREAT!!

WAIT! DO NOT DISCONNECT ME! This blog has nothing to do with Obamacare! (If it did, you wouldn’t have been able to log on to the site in the first place!) No politics are allowed! I am strictly neutered. (Is that the right word?) Well, in any case, I hope you are having a pleasant Sunday. I am recovering from another costume party and a wine tasting that got out of control. Fortunately, this event was followed by a poker game, and the Mighty Cobra struck again! (I hauled in $25, cash on the barrelhead. Maybe the barrel was on my head, but you get the point.)

What do you think about the government mandating health care insurance? (My wife had a few man dates in college, but that’s another story.) Personally, I think they should mandate the purchase of my mystery novels. I happen to know that my books have cured a number of patients suffering from insomnia. Just saying.

I trust you had a happy Halloween? Did you know that the word “Halloween” means “hallowed or holy evening?” This would be a Scottish term, dating back to 1745. Believe it or not, the Scots still celebrate by carving turnips instead of pumpkins! (Which might account for their frugal reputation.) I once fell off the back of a turnip truck. I was young and naive. Maybe I was young and a knave. I forget which, but you get the drift.

Incidentally, do you know why ghosts can’t have children? (Even when the “spirit moves them?”) Because they have….. hallow weenies! (Ouch!) My neighbor’s kid told me that joke.

Now for the important stuff….. The five finalists for “Outstanding Book Design of the Year” have been announced by Murder Ink Press and listed in the New York Times Book Review Section. Incredibly, both THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH have made the final cut! The winner will be announced in December, and three prizes will be awarded. I hope I win a trophy, but I would prefer cash, that way I can buy my own trophy and still have some money left over for tequila.

Just a thought….. I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up their own food if they drop it on the floor.

Speaking of people, dogs, and food….. I had a lovely visit to Stephenville this week. Not only is the whole town named after me (I think) but it is also the self-described “Cowboy Capital of the World.” Fortunately, these cowboys love a good mystery, so our book signing was a big success. Stephenville is roughly 3 hours north of Austin, and is the home of Tarleton State University, the Cowboy Walk of Fame, and Lone Star Arena. If you decide to make the trip, don’t miss lunch at the world famous “Beans and Franks” restaurant. The food is really good, and you won’t need to stop for gas on the way home! (Just make sure your power windows are working.)

Since we’re on the subject of cowboys, I have a trivia question for you….. What do they call a dull cow in Stephenville? (Answer: “A milk dud!”) All right, I just made that up, but it’s still funny.

Next week I will be posting from a remote and tropical setting, so stay tuned for another exciting road trip/literary adventure….. I will not disappoint my fans! Even if it means posting a blog and a bail bond! Until then, have a safe and prosperous week….. Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

October 27, 2013

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS…..

“WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE….. ” Do you remember this song penned by Lennon & McCartney? It first appeared on the classic 1967 album, “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.” Frankly, it’s one of my favorite Beatle songs, and as fate would have it, I got plenty of help from my friends this week…..

On Wednesday, I was interviewed by Sarah Dolittle, the multi-talented reporter from the Four Points News. Sarah and I spent several hours together, and we discussed THE GRACELAND GANG, THE PIRATE PATH, and DEVIL’S COVE. I must warn you…. photographs were taken, so don’t be shocked if you see my mug on the cover of your Sunday newspaper. (The photographs should NOT be used for target practice!)

On Friday, my poker friends in Cedar Park were kind enough to contribute $600 to my ever-growing poker fund, BUT….. once again, the big news was made by my wife. (Playing as “The Queen of Hearts.”) Patty placed 4th in a major poker tournament and made the Mighty Cobra look silly. (A rather simple task, I’m afraid!)

On Saturday, our good friends, Mary and Ivar Rachkind, had a lovely costume party to celebrate the arrival of Halloween. The party was held at their beautiful home in River Place, and you might imagine, a great time was had by all. I would like to thank the Rachkinds for the great food, great wine, great company, and great conversation. In case you’re wondering, I came as “The Chic of Araby” and Miss Patty was “Catwoman.” We didn’t win the costume contest, but we did receive several votes. (Bribery works wonders!)

Finally, for those of you that might be attending the Texas Book Festival, please check out two of my dear friends that will be prominently featured at this year’s event….. Mrs. Michael Schneider, the author of several highly acclaimed romantic suspense novels. (Including BLIND FAITH and THE DARKNESS OF PERFECTION.) Michael is an incredibly talented author AND a brilliant insurance underwriter! (She works for my other friend, Mr. Ted Heaton, a State Farm agent.) Mr. Larry Brill, a former television news broadcaster AND a terrific writer, will also be at the festival. Larry’s latest book is titled, THE PATTERER, and it is described as “Monty Python meets Charles Dickens.” The book has gotten a number of rave reviews and should be on everyone’s reading list this year. If you mention my name, you will receive a (very) slight discount!

BONUS SURPRISE! If you are still awake, I would like you to know that two of my book covers have been chosen as “finalists” in the annual book cover contest sponsored by Murder Ink Press! (A very rare accomplishment.) The new covers of THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH are in the running, so keep your fingers crossed for me. (Even though the artist gets the cash prize!) I get some free publicity. Ah well, free is good.

Have a safe and wonderful week! Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

October 20, 2013

DISCOVERY DAY, 2013!

NO, I DIDN’T FIND ANOTHER GRAY HAIR….. October 12th was actually “Discovery Day” in the Bahamas. (The site of my second mystery, THE PIRATE PATH.) In the U.S., we celebrate this day as “Columbus Day.” Did you know that Colorado was the first state to officially honor the great explorer? (1906) Back then, they gave out free beer, which might have led to the phrase “Rocky Mountain High.” (Hey, anything’s possible.)

Columbus Day became a federal holiday in 1937, giving federal workers ANOTHER day off. (Personally, I wouldn’t grant a day off unless you were of Italian heritage and you discovered a New World.) But that’s just me. In any case, here’s a little trivia question for you….. Name the four states that DO NOT recognize Columbus Day. No cheating! (Answer: Hawaii, Alaska, Oregon, and South Dakota) People in those states have poor vision, so they don’t recognize a lot of things. (The rest of the country is more “farsighted.”)

Last Wednesday, October 16th, was National Boss’s Day. (In my house it’s called “Wife Day.”) Oddly enough, this holiday is celebrated in the United States, Canada, and Lithuania. (No joking) Don’t ask me how Lithuania got involved. They were probably trying to outdo Latvia and Estonia.

Speaking of celebrations….. Our blog site has now reached a very special plateau… we have (slightly) over 6,000 followers! Wow, what a wonderful accomplishment! Thank you! By the way, what do you folks think about the new book covers for THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH? I would love to hear your opinions, so don’t be shy! Both covers were originally conceived by Mrs. Rachel Zell, a beautiful and talented artist who lives here in Austin. Keep up the good work, Rachel. (Conceiving is a wonderful thing!)

While we are on the subject of conceiving….. I would like to acknowledge a few of my younger blog followers. (babies!) Uncle Steve sends his best to Stella, Brooklyn, and Evan. Make sure you stay dry and finish your mashed bananas.

Hey, did you hear that Native-Americans want to change the name of the Washington Redskins? No joking. They’re embarrassed to be associated with the city of Washington! (I have certain “reservations” myself.)

Those of you that live or work in Austin, Texas, should keep your eyes on our award-winning newspaper next week. A reporter will be coming up to my house on Wednesday for a feature-length interview. I will be discussing my first two books (see above) and my last display of literary brilliance, DEVIL’S COVE. She (the reporter) is bringing along a photographer, which means that I will have to groom myself. Achieving fame and fortune is never easy!

By the way, last night we attended the Austin Music Festival, sponsored by Central Market. Our group managed to wine and dine is splendid fashion, and most importantly, nobody got arrested. I would like to thank the store management for featuring flyers of my books at the checkout counters. Any publicity is good publicity when you’re trying to sell books.

Finally, I would once again like to say thank you to the doctors and nurses at the Boca Raton Regional Hospital. You took great care of my mother last week and I will never forget your competency and kindness. What a great bunch of people….. God bless you all! (Mom is now in rehab, training for the 2014 Senior Olympics!)

Well, dear ones, have a great week, drive carefully, and keep those cards and letters coming. God willing, I will have a special announcement for you next Sunday! Love to all …..

Doc Yanoff

September 15, 2013

YANOFF WINS NOBEL PRIZE FOR LITERATURE!

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE… DIDN’T I USE THIS SCHTICK LAST SUNDAY? (I thought it sounded familiar!) Well, fuhgetaboutit. I never use a joke twice… unless I’m visiting my mother in south Florida. (A lot of seniors in Boca Raton are hard of hearing, so I am forced to repeat most of my jokes.) Do you realize that if the cities of Baton Rouge and Boca Raton merged the new city would be called Baton Raton? Jeez, they would have gators and waders. (There would also be some reptile dysfunctions, but I digress….. )

Speaking of awards (ones that I have actually received) my newest book, DEVIL’S COVE, was recently chosen as the “Mystery of the Month” by the Lake Charles (Louisiana) Book Club. God willing, I will actually make it up to Lake Charles in the near future, and will be signing books for the group. (Thank you for the honor!)

And since we’re discussing books and honors….. It was my pleasure to recently donate some books (MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE an DEVIL’S COVE) to Angela Plunkett, a fellow member of the River Place Garden Club. (The club that has added so much beauty to our community.) Angela is a tireless supporter of a wonderful organization called the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. (The books will be used in a gift bag at an upcoming fundraiser.) Thank God we still have people like Angela who try to make the world a safer place!

So what else is new? Well, my newest novel, THE GRACELAND GANG, is now with my new publisher and we have about two weeks of final revisions ahead of us. The book cover is outstanding, and with the revisions and new chapters, I feel confident about the Pulitzer thing. (Confident that SOMEBODY will win the award this year!)

My poker career has taken another unusual turn…. during the past week, I played in 3 tournaments, and placed third, fourth, and fifth! I’d better stop playing for a while or I’m going to end up in last place! Nonetheless, my fortuitous victories have earned me a great sum of money, which I will be donating to the S.S.C.F. (Self-Serving Cruise Fund)

Last week I had the privilege of conducting a book signing in the lovely burg of McKinney. (north Texas) If you’re ever in that part of the state, you should check out Churchill’s British Restaurant & Pub. Very interesting spot, and they have some great beers on tap. (Not to mention Cragganmore single-malt Scotch!) They also have other “spirits”…….. On the second Thursday of each month they host something called “Psychic Night.” My aunt was a psycho, I mean, psychic, and she used to read palms. (Lots of palms in Boca Raton.) She wasn’t very good at predicting the future. In fact, she was only “medium.”

In any case, if you enjoy psychic readings, then this is the place for you. (They used to do Ouija, but folks got “bored.”) You get it, Ouija Board? Never mind. (I’m predicting a few groans!) Well, it’s time for me to dig into a cheese pocket, so I will bid you adieu. Have a wonderful week and enjoy life!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

August 25, 2013

THE KING IS DEAD….. ANOTHER ONE GONE!

First, it was Elvis Presley, who died on August 16, and now we have lost the King of crime novelists, Elmore Leonard. Needless to say, I was a huge fan, and more than that, a student of the “Elmore Leonard School of Writing.” Mr. Leonard was born in 1925, in New Orleans, which undoubtedly provided an early introduction to colorful and unsavory characters. (His second choice was Washington, D.C.)

One of the things that fascinated me most about this man was his earliest writings, which were not crime-related, but Westerns! Did you know that he wrote “Valdez Is Coming,” “Hombre,” “The Bounty Hunters,” and “3:10 to Yuma?” After the western lost popularity, he began to write crime-based books, and I understand that he did quite well!

Sometimes called “The Dickens of Detroit,” (his hometown) Leonard was famous for his sparse writing, and the best advice he gave to beginning writers was this: “Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.” Wise words from a wise man. There will never be another quite like him, but let’s face it, I’m pretty darn close. (Hey, he only sold 150,000,000 more books than me.)

So what else is new? Well, in connection with two new mystery novels that I’m working on, I have been spending some time at the gun range, trying out some weaponry that I may let Adam Gold use in his upcoming adventures. (No, I didn’t go off “half-cocked” and I don’t think I’m a “big shot” either.) Always good to know what a weapon feels like before your main character starts blasting away. (The bazooka was too cumbersome and heavy as hell!)

Playing under the nom de plume (or non de plum if you prefer fruit) of “The Mighty Cobra,” I managed to extend my poker legend by placing 2nd. in last week’s poker tournament, which I dubbed “Venom & Denim.” I wound up at the final table through a combination of skill, luck, and cheating. Nonetheless, my second place finish garnered a huge cash payout…… and even better, I won a copy of my own damn book! (THE PRESLEY PLOT) Now I actually have to read the darn thing!

Judge Susan is coming over this afternoon for a pool party, and I am quite excited because I heard her and Patty talking about wearing thongs outside. Never a dull moment around here! If things work out (or off) I will post some inappropriate photographs on Facebook. (God, I hope they weren’t talking about flip-flops.)

Well, dear friends, I must leave you now. Time to skim the pool and install the film in the underwater camera. (We shall see what “develops!”) After the party is over, I’ll sneak outside, and if I get caught, I’ll just say that I was…… “removing some film from the pool!” Yeah, I know, I need a job.

Love to all!

Doc Yanoff

August 18, 2013

MEMPHIS IN MOURNING!

NO, THEY DIDN’T RUN OUT OF PORK RIBS AT CORKY’S!

Last Friday, August 16, marked the 36th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death. Hard to believe, but the King of Rock ‘n Roll died in 1977. Oddly enough, his passing is “celebrated” with an annual week-long festival known as “Elvis Presley Week.” In mid-August, the city is transformed into one big Elvis event, and each year over 400,000 people show up to join the party! Believe me, it is quite a sight. (Try to picture several thousand Elvis impersonators!)

Naturally, copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT will be available at various locations throughout the city. (One vendor is selling only autographed copies….. my signature, not Elvis.) I don’t make a great sum of money, but the publicity is wonderful, and I get to meet some interesting characters.

Speaking of books, I am currently reading a book about anti-gravity. (I just can’t put it down!) Incidentally, last week I mentioned that Elvis Presley’s Army uniform was about to be auctioned off in Dallas. Well, how much do you think it fetched? How does $35,000 sound? While this was a decent price, it didn’t come close to the King’s peacock jumpsuit that sold for….. $300,000 in 2008! In any case, I’ve decided to sell my socks on eBay, so don’t be a “heel” and buy a pair. Each pair has been thoroughly washed, so you won’t get “toe-maine” poisoning.

How about some “food for thought?” Last week’s book signing was held in Lampasas, which was followed by a Moonlight Swim at Hancock Springs. (Although there wasn’t much moonlight at 4 p.m., the swim was wonderful, and we stopped at Hopdoddy’s for dinner!) If you go to Hopdoddy’s, order the “Llano Poblano” hamburger….. An angus beef patty, topped with pepper jack cheese, roasted poblano peppers, apple-smoked bacon, and chipolte mayo. Simply amazing…. especially with a 512 IPA Beer! (or two)

I have recently viewed the new book cover for MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE, and can report that it is simply marvelous. The revised book should be out in early November, but by then, I may be back in the Caribbean! Looks like we’re going on the road again, (or should I say the water?) and marching toward St. Thomas, St. John, and St. Martin. (“When the saints, go marching in….. “) Well, you know how that tune goes. Yummy, yummy, more rum in my tummy!

Finally, if you want to try the BEST pancakes in the free world, come visit me in Austin, and I will take you to the Rise and Shine Bakery for their homemade buttermilk pancakes. As Judge Susan and Princess Patty can attest, they are absolutely delicious! I was there yesterday and I saw plenty of nice stacks.

Well, have a great week and remember not to believe everything you hear. My wife thinks I’m a skeptic, but I don’t believe a word she says! (Would you believe my neighbor has a skeptic tank? What’s that about?)

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff