Pulitzer Prize

WAIT! DO NOT DISCONNECT ME! This blog has nothing to do with Obamacare! (If it did, you wouldn’t have been able to log on to the site in the first place!) No politics are allowed! I am strictly neutered. (Is that the right word?) Well, in any case, I hope you are having a pleasant Sunday. I am recovering from another costume party and a wine tasting that got out of control. Fortunately, this event was followed by a poker game, and the Mighty Cobra struck again! (I hauled in $25, cash on the barrelhead. Maybe the barrel was on my head, but you get the point.)

What do you think about the government mandating health care insurance? (My wife had a few man dates in college, but that’s another story.) Personally, I think they should mandate the purchase of my mystery novels. I happen to know that my books have cured a number of patients suffering from insomnia. Just saying.

I trust you had a happy Halloween? Did you know that the word “Halloween” means “hallowed or holy evening?” This would be a Scottish term, dating back to 1745. Believe it or not, the Scots still celebrate by carving turnips instead of pumpkins! (Which might account for their frugal reputation.) I once fell off the back of a turnip truck. I was young and naive. Maybe I was young and a knave. I forget which, but you get the drift.

Incidentally, do you know why ghosts can’t have children? (Even when the “spirit moves them?”) Because they have….. hallow weenies! (Ouch!) My neighbor’s kid told me that joke.

Now for the important stuff….. The five finalists for “Outstanding Book Design of the Year” have been announced by Murder Ink Press and listed in the New York Times Book Review Section. Incredibly, both THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH have made the final cut! The winner will be announced in December, and three prizes will be awarded. I hope I win a trophy, but I would prefer cash, that way I can buy my own trophy and still have some money left over for tequila.

Just a thought….. I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up their own food if they drop it on the floor.

Speaking of people, dogs, and food….. I had a lovely visit to Stephenville this week. Not only is the whole town named after me (I think) but it is also the self-described “Cowboy Capital of the World.” Fortunately, these cowboys love a good mystery, so our book signing was a big success. Stephenville is roughly 3 hours north of Austin, and is the home of Tarleton State University, the Cowboy Walk of Fame, and Lone Star Arena. If you decide to make the trip, don’t miss lunch at the world famous “Beans and Franks” restaurant. The food is really good, and you won’t need to stop for gas on the way home! (Just make sure your power windows are working.)

Since we’re on the subject of cowboys, I have a trivia question for you….. What do they call a dull cow in Stephenville? (Answer: “A milk dud!”) All right, I just made that up, but it’s still funny.

Next week I will be posting from a remote and tropical setting, so stay tuned for another exciting road trip/literary adventure….. I will not disappoint my fans! Even if it means posting a blog and a bail bond! Until then, have a safe and prosperous week….. Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE… DIDN’T I USE THIS SCHTICK LAST SUNDAY? (I thought it sounded familiar!) Well, fuhgetaboutit. I never use a joke twice… unless I’m visiting my mother in south Florida. (A lot of seniors in Boca Raton are hard of hearing, so I am forced to repeat most of my jokes.) Do you realize that if the cities of Baton Rouge and Boca Raton merged the new city would be called Baton Raton? Jeez, they would have gators and waders. (There would also be some reptile dysfunctions, but I digress….. )

Speaking of awards (ones that I have actually received) my newest book, DEVIL’S COVE, was recently chosen as the “Mystery of the Month” by the Lake Charles (Louisiana) Book Club. God willing, I will actually make it up to Lake Charles in the near future, and will be signing books for the group. (Thank you for the honor!)

And since we’re discussing books and honors….. It was my pleasure to recently donate some books (MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE an DEVIL’S COVE) to Angela Plunkett, a fellow member of the River Place Garden Club. (The club that has added so much beauty to our community.) Angela is a tireless supporter of a wonderful organization called the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. (The books will be used in a gift bag at an upcoming fundraiser.) Thank God we still have people like Angela who try to make the world a safer place!

So what else is new? Well, my newest novel, THE GRACELAND GANG, is now with my new publisher and we have about two weeks of final revisions ahead of us. The book cover is outstanding, and with the revisions and new chapters, I feel confident about the Pulitzer thing. (Confident that SOMEBODY will win the award this year!)

My poker career has taken another unusual turn…. during the past week, I played in 3 tournaments, and placed third, fourth, and fifth! I’d better stop playing for a while or I’m going to end up in last place! Nonetheless, my fortuitous victories have earned me a great sum of money, which I will be donating to the S.S.C.F. (Self-Serving Cruise Fund)

Last week I had the privilege of conducting a book signing in the lovely burg of McKinney. (north Texas) If you’re ever in that part of the state, you should check out Churchill’s British Restaurant & Pub. Very interesting spot, and they have some great beers on tap. (Not to mention Cragganmore single-malt Scotch!) They also have other “spirits”…….. On the second Thursday of each month they host something called “Psychic Night.” My aunt was a psycho, I mean, psychic, and she used to read palms. (Lots of palms in Boca Raton.) She wasn’t very good at predicting the future. In fact, she was only “medium.”

In any case, if you enjoy psychic readings, then this is the place for you. (They used to do Ouija, but folks got “bored.”) You get it, Ouija Board? Never mind. (I’m predicting a few groans!) Well, it’s time for me to dig into a cheese pocket, so I will bid you adieu. Have a wonderful week and enjoy life!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

Books By Stephen G. Yanoff

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