August 18, 2013

MEMPHIS IN MOURNING!

NO, THEY DIDN’T RUN OUT OF PORK RIBS AT CORKY’S!

Last Friday, August 16, marked the 36th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death. Hard to believe, but the King of Rock ‘n Roll died in 1977. Oddly enough, his passing is “celebrated” with an annual week-long festival known as “Elvis Presley Week.” In mid-August, the city is transformed into one big Elvis event, and each year over 400,000 people show up to join the party! Believe me, it is quite a sight. (Try to picture several thousand Elvis impersonators!)

Naturally, copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT will be available at various locations throughout the city. (One vendor is selling only autographed copies….. my signature, not Elvis.) I don’t make a great sum of money, but the publicity is wonderful, and I get to meet some interesting characters.

Speaking of books, I am currently reading a book about anti-gravity. (I just can’t put it down!) Incidentally, last week I mentioned that Elvis Presley’s Army uniform was about to be auctioned off in Dallas. Well, how much do you think it fetched? How does $35,000 sound? While this was a decent price, it didn’t come close to the King’s peacock jumpsuit that sold for….. $300,000 in 2008! In any case, I’ve decided to sell my socks on eBay, so don’t be a “heel” and buy a pair. Each pair has been thoroughly washed, so you won’t get “toe-maine” poisoning.

How about some “food for thought?” Last week’s book signing was held in Lampasas, which was followed by a Moonlight Swim at Hancock Springs. (Although there wasn’t much moonlight at 4 p.m., the swim was wonderful, and we stopped at Hopdoddy’s for dinner!) If you go to Hopdoddy’s, order the “Llano Poblano” hamburger….. An angus beef patty, topped with pepper jack cheese, roasted poblano peppers, apple-smoked bacon, and chipolte mayo. Simply amazing…. especially with a 512 IPA Beer! (or two)

I have recently viewed the new book cover for MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE, and can report that it is simply marvelous. The revised book should be out in early November, but by then, I may be back in the Caribbean! Looks like we’re going on the road again, (or should I say the water?) and marching toward St. Thomas, St. John, and St. Martin. (“When the saints, go marching in….. “) Well, you know how that tune goes. Yummy, yummy, more rum in my tummy!

Finally, if you want to try the BEST pancakes in the free world, come visit me in Austin, and I will take you to the Rise and Shine Bakery for their homemade buttermilk pancakes. As Judge Susan and Princess Patty can attest, they are absolutely delicious! I was there yesterday and I saw plenty of nice stacks.

Well, have a great week and remember not to believe everything you hear. My wife thinks I’m a skeptic, but I don’t believe a word she says! (Would you believe my neighbor has a skeptic tank? What’s that about?)

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

May 16, 2013

BONUS BLOG (DUE TO BOURBON!)

GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GERMS (Shecky Greene, 1965) HOW DO YOU LIKE THE CATSKILLS? THE CHEF MAKES FOOD FIT FOR A KING! (HERE, KING, HERE KING….. ) Since I have consumed a copious amount of Kentucky Bourbon (In South Carolina!) I have decided to compose a “bonus blog,” which proves that man does not live by bread (pudding) laced with rum alone! So…. here’s what happened today…

The morning began with the consumption of the WORLD’S BEST almond croissant and fresh brewed French roast coffee. Shortly thereafter, Miss Daisy and I meandered over to the Charleston Museum, one of the finest museums in the South. I got to view the H.L. Hunley submarine, the Confederate submarine that was the VERY FIRST sub to sink a ship! (A Yankee carpetbagger that was blockading Charleston Harbor!) The sub sank in 1864, killing Mr. Hunley and seven other crewmen. It was brought up in 2000 and fully restored to its natural splendor. (Truly incredible.) What a treat to view this historic vessel.

Another treat came at lunchtime….. a mini-feast of Southern vegetables at Jestine’s Country Kitchen. OMG, the okra and collard greens were incredible. After lunch we toured one of the historic homes of Charleston, a Winnebago parked on Meeting Street. (Just Kidding!) We went to the amazing pre-Civil War home of Joseph Manigault. (Ever hear of the “Manigault Line?”) Wait a minute, I think that was the Marginot Line. Never mind, I was just joking. (Have I used this “line” before?)

The Manigault family was one of the founding families of Charleston, and all of the streets in the area are named after their children! (Except Main Street, who was named after their most important cousin.) Naturally, they were of Huguenot descent, and they made a fortune selling rice. (One of them became Jewish and sold “converted rice.”) His name was Shecky Manigault, and he wasn’t fat, just a little “puffy.” I think he became a “colonel” during the Civil War.

This evening we dined with a prominent Charleston physician and his lovely family. (Another amazing meal at the Hominy Grill.) Try to envision a perfect Mint Julep, followed by fried green tomatoes, homemade biscuits, collard greens, red beans and rice, and the best tasting piece of cornmeal crusted grouper with shrimp gravy in the UNIVERSE! I am almost (key word, “almost”) embarrassed to admit this, but Miss Daisy and I actually split a piece of buttermilk pie for dessert!

In the immortal words of Oscar Wilde, “I can resist anything but temptation!”

We leave for Jacksonville and then Boca Raton tomorrow….. so look for the continuing adventures of “The Galloping Gourmet” and his faithful sidekick, “Crazy Daisy” in the days ahead….. May the force (and the Alka-Seltzer) be with you!

Col. Rufus T. Firefly, N.U.T. (a/k/a Doc Yanoff)

May 13, 2013

TUPELO IS TOO MUCH!

DO YOU REMEMBER THIS SONG? “TOO MUCH?”

THE SONG WAS RECORDED BY ELVIS PRESLEY AND RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC ON SEPTEMBER 2, 1956….. It quickly became a number one hit across the nation, but after today, I am convinced that the song was written about my book tour! Why, you ask? Because today was simply incredible! We began the day by meeting Miss Ashley, a lovely young lady who worked at Starbucks. She was kind enough to give us the phone number of a relative who knew THE KING. (In case we wanted to ask a few questions!) Our first stop in town was at the Tupelo Hardware Co., where Elvis bought his first guitar! The young lad paid cash! No strings attached! (Actually, there were six strings, but who’s counting?)

Next stop, the Elvis Presley birthplace. The gift shop was happy to feature my first mystery novel, THE PRESLEY PLOT, and we got a private tour of the facility! Patty and I got to see some amazing sites, not available to the general public. What a treat! After a book signing/speaking engagement, we sold two cases of books! We actually sold every book we had, and we also donated some copies to the “building fund.” (They are building a new museum next year.) The highlight of our tour was a special visit to Elvis Presley’s birthplace and private chapel. OMG, was that interesting! Wait until you hear the delightful “ghost stories” about the King’s house! Fascinating stuff to be sure.

After a marvelous lunch (crab cakes and crawfish!) we drove out to the Priceville Cemetery, where Elvis Presley’s twin brother is buried. Talk about spooky places! Patty and I walked all around the grounds, but we couldn’t locate the grave of Jesse Garon Presley, the little lad who died at birth. (Elvis Presley’s twin brother!) When the sun began to set, it became incredibly scary, so we left. (Remember the part in my book about the Choctaw Bonepickers??) Some of the graves dated back to the Civil War, and there was absolutely nobody out there but us chickens. (Thus we “hightailed it” back to the car before we wuz grabbed by a ‘taint!) Yeah, I’ve got some photos to prove how crazy we are!

After signing some more autographs in the hotel lobby, we were taken to a fancy dinner by some dudes from the Chamber of Commerce. They took us to the semi-famous Tupelo Grill, where we feasted upon the VERY BEST FISH we have ever tasted. (Fresh gulf coast grouper, lightly fried in cornmeal, and topped with a bourbon-pecan sauce that was simply amazing.) Good Lord, I am actually thinking about moving to Tupelo!

Tomorrow we leave for Birmingham, Alabama, and then it’s on to Atlanta, Georgia. The magnolia trees are in full bloom, so you can imagine how pretty and fragrant the world seems to us. (Patty is now introducing me as “Rhett” and I am telling folks that her name is “Scarlett.” Unfortunately, her last name is “Fever!”)

Well, y’all take care, and cum back and see us sumtime…. Until then, hush my puppies and grind them grits…. Love to all,

Col. Beauregard Yanoff and Miss Primrose Patty, C.S.A.

April 7, 2013

HEADS OR TALES?

Well, you can have both when you order a copy of MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE! There is a colorful head on the cover, (I call it a “skulleton”) and inside you will find a thrilling tale of mayhem, mystery, and murder! The book, as you have probably surmised, is now available in paperback and on Kindle at Amazon.com! That’s right, happy days are here again!

Meanwhile, in order to keep THE PRESLEY PLOT front and center, I will soon be embarking on a lengthy book signing/speaking engagement tour, and my first stop will be at the Elvis Presley Birthplace & Community Center in Tupelo, Mississippi. Yes, my little hound dogs, yours truly will be speaking to the good folks of Tupelo on the weekend of May 11 & 12. Hopefully, I will also be negotiating a profitable business deal with the gift shop on premises. (I would like them to feature THE PRESLEY PLOT in the book section.) Soooo….. if you’re in the area, come on by and say hello. I will also be judging an “Elvis Look-Alike Contest,” so there should be plenty of levity and some memorable photography.

Shortly after I’m lynched, I mean, lauded, in Tupelo, I leave for my spring book tour in the (not so far) east. In conjunctivitis with Aberdeen Bay Publishing, I have arranged to make appearances in Baton Rouge, Birmingham, Atlanta, Savannah, and Jacksonville. Along the way I intend to sample some Southern comfort, and some bourbon, too.

My Dixie Diaspora will continue with a special guest appearance in Boca Raton, Florida. Whence I arrive in Palm Beach County I will be dining with “The Donald.” Unfortunately, I am referring to Donald Duck from Disney World, not the guy with the strange hair-do. The last time I had lunch with Donald Duck I got stuck with the bill. (“The bill?”)

The piece de resistance of my personal and persistent perseverance will be a ten-day period of peace and pleasantness in a perfect playground of pleasure. (No, not Paraguay.) The island of St. John! Now that I am a famous author, I have an entourage, so me and my posse (3 couples) will be heading down to the Caribbean for some R & R. (Incidentally, the would be “Rest & Rum!”) While we are there, we intend to soak up some rays, (which is better than stepping on them) snorkel, and consume a prodigious amount of rum.

Writing is brutal, but somebody has to do it! Besides, one must live for today. Need I remind you that Austin is number four on Kim Jong-un’s bombing list? (I blame those damn hippies downtown.) Little Kim is the son of Kim Jong-il, who I nicknamed “Kim Jong-mentallly-ill.” The young man, who bears a striking resemblance to the Pillsbury Dough-boy, is a tyrant. Do not be fooled by his recent meeting with Ambassador Rodman! Kim Jong-un is not a “Seoul Man!”

But I digress….. Where was I? Oh yeah, in the Caribbean. Well, after I damage my liver, I will make my way back to the Lone Star State and begin marketing book number 3 in the Adam Gold Mystery Series. (This one is called “DEVIL’S COVE,” and it is set entirely in the state of Texas!) Naturally, I will keep those cards and letters coming while I am on the road. Which reminds me…. Did you hear that a truck ran over Willie Nelson’s foot? Yeah, that’s right, he was “playing on the road again!” (Ouch!)

Well, take care, have a wonderful week, and remember to duck and cover if Kim starts shooting. Hopefully, we will meet again next Sunday! Love to all,

Doc (or should I change my name to “Duck?”) Yanoff. (I wouldn’t mind the change if I get “top billing!”)

January 6, 2013

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

(AND I DON’T MIND IF YOU STAND UP AND SHOUT IT!)

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure (and more money) to inform you that Aberdeen Bay Publishing has just (yesterday) agreed to publish…… my second mystery novel!

Yes, it’s true! The second “Adam Gold Mystery” will be available to the general public (and certain penal institutions) on or about MARCH 1, 2013!

For those of you on the Pulitzer Committee, the name of this book is…… MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE. As some of you know, Maiden Lane is located in the Financial District of Lower Manhattan. In fact, the lovely lane is right around the corner from my old insurance office on John Street. Maiden Lane has quite a checkered past (much like my high school girlfriend) but is most famous for two things…… being in the heart of the “high risk” insurance neighborhood, and being the home of Captain Kidd, the famous American pirate.

AND SINCE WE ARE ON THE SUBJECT OF PIRATES……. I shall now share with you the exact “book cover blurb” that will appear on the back cover of the new book…. right above my new and improved photograph….. (Let me know if it grabs your attention!) If so, you can grab the book on Amazon.com when it becomes available……. All right, here goes…….

“WHILE EXCAVATING A VACANT LOT IN LOWER MANHATTAN, WORKERS UNEARTH A 300-YEAR-OLD SKELETON AND SOME COINS THAT MIGHT BE PART OF A PIRATE TREASURE. THE DISCOVERY HALTS THE CONSTRUCTION OF A SKYSCRAPER, DRAWING THE IRE OF CORRUPT POLITICIANS, GREEDY DEVELOPERS, AND THE MAFIA. IT ALSO ATTRACTS THE ATTENTION OF A MYSTERIOUS YOUNG WOMAN WHO CLAIMS TO BE A DESCENDANT OF A FAMOUS PIRATE….. A WOMAN WHO IS WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET HER HANDS ON THE TREASURE!”

Well, there you have it. The cover is in the “design phase” as we speak, and will be a bold presentation of color and content. (Much like me) If I get an opportunity, I will post some of the first designs to give my blog followers a sense of how a fiction book is put together. I think you will find the process quite interesting.

AND NOW FOR SOME OTHER NEWS……. CONGRATULATIONS to Ms. Rebecca Lee Yanoff, who has a brand new position in Austin. A commercial development project coordinator for a prestigious local firm that is about to build the very first “high end” luxury day spa in the city! Rebecca’s responsibilities are numerous, and in order to build an authentic Japanese facility, the firm is sending her (and the marketing genius) to ………. Hawaii and Japan! Yep, you read that right. My little girl will be spending four or five days in MAUI (Wowee!) and then fly to TOKYO AND OSAKA to interview some of the leading Asian spa owners on the island. The idea is to see and learn what makes a world-class facility. When the Austin project is complete, they want Rebecca to manage (and partially own!) the spa. So…… hooray for Rebecca-san! (But remember, no blow fish!)

A big shout out and congratulations also to Mr. Adam Zell…… the First Place Winner of the “River Place New Year Poker Championship!” Adam played very well and beat some terrific poker players (including me!) on his way to the final heads-up competition. It was looking grim until the lad got lucky on the river and pulled a Jack of clubs, giving him a very sweet flush! He won a substantial amount of money. (None of which he shared with me!) What’s up with that?

More congratulations to one of my long-time blog followers……. Mrs. Rita York-Hennecke…… the beautiful daughter of the beautiful Portuguese Princess Helena Bomblatus. Rita has recently discovered that she is “with child,” as they say in Kansas. Her pregnancy is wonderful news! I’m sure she will have a gorgeous baby. (If she has a boy, I think “Stephen” would be a wonderful name. Just saying.) Best wishes to Rita and Mike!

FOR MY ADORING ELVIS FANS……. (OR SHOULD I SAY, “ADORABLE”) ……. DID YOU KNOW…… That on this day in 1957, Elvis made the last of his three appearances on the Ed Sullivan Show? (Which was filmed at the Maxine Elliot Theatre on W. 39th Street.) I used to go there when I was a youngster, but I missed this show. Too bad. The King sang “Hound Dog.” “Don’t Be Cruel,” “Love Me Tender,” and “Heartbreak Hotel.” Wow! Imagine hearing the big guy sing all four of those classics! (By the way, this is the infamous performance where the network would only film Elvis from the waist up!) Just think of how far we’ve come (descended) from those days! Now all television is a “waist.” (Waste) Incidentally, after the show, which was a “really big show,” Elvis took the midnight train home to Memphis! Well, at least he was on the “right track” back then! Amusing to think that there were no flights to Memphis at the time.

In closing, I would like to tell you that THE PRESLEY PLOT has now been purchased (and hopefully read!) in 40 different countries around the globe! God Bless the internet! We should all be grateful to Al (Jazeera) Gore for inventing the darn thing in his spare time. Thanks to the world wide web, great literature (and my books) can be shared with uneducated heathens and unrepentant criminals in all four corners of the globe! (By the way, how can a globe have corners? The dang thing is round! Just saying.)

Well, I wish you a happy and healthy week and a wonderful post-New Year period. Drop me a line when you can, and thanks again for following my weekly rant.

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

December 23, 2012

HAPPY, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

WELL, CHRISTMAS IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER! (OR SHOULD I SAY “CHIMNEY?”) ……..

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Hold on a minute….. it was late, so why would a mouse be up? And what was the little guy stirring up? (Besides trouble!) Was our rodent friend making hot chocolate? (Or maybe “Choclate Mouse?”) Hmmm. Very suspicious. I could understand if a cat was up late. Cats love Christmas. (Think Santa “Claws.”) Never mind, “scratch” that joke. I thought I “nailed” my opening, but somethings amiss. (or a mister) I can’t put my “finger” on it, but I think I’m making too many puns. (But you have to admit, I’m so “cuticle!”)

Did you know that this wonderful poem was written by Clement Clarke Moore? (Of the law firm Moore & Moore) Mr. Moore came from a very prominent family. (His father was Benjamin Moore, the Bishop of New York who was famous for swearing at, I mean, swearing in George Washington at his first inauguration.) Just an interesting little piece of holiday trivia.

I’ve had a fun filled week. I placed 4th in the huge “Third Base Poker Extravaganza” held last Monday. (No, I didn’t cheat again.) On Thursday, I went to the movies and saw the new film called “LINCOLN.” I was a little disappointed, because I thought it was going to be about Nebraska. (Who would make a movie about Nebraska?) Anyway, it was about the bearded President who served in the White House during the War of Northern Aggression. (As my sweet Granny used to say!) As we all know, the Civil War began with the Dred Scott Decision. (Scott was a runaway slave who was filled with Dred about returning to the plantation.) So…. fast forward to 1863, and Mr. Lincoln issues the “Emaciation Proclamation,” which freed all of the very thin slaves. (A “weighty” decision, I might add!) The film was vaguely interesting. Did you know that Abe Lincoln was our first Jewish president? (No kidding, I heard that he was shot in the temple!) Ah, the mystery of history!

Anyway, I love Christmas, even though it was somewhat traumatic for me as a child. (I was so ugly that my parents hung me up and kissed the mistletoe!) One night, I saw my mommy kissing Santa Claus. (Of course, now that I think about it, it might have been that Lincoln guy!) I do remember a beard. Speaking of James Beard, did you know that the most popular Christmas dinner is turkey? Second is baked ham. We had both in my family, but the Yanoffs were famous for being, I mean, serving fruit cakes. (Who thought of putting candy rocks in a cake?) This holiday season will be a gourmet delight for me…. Last night, the gracious and lovely Jaime Rubenstein (and her skinny husband, Gary) hosted a wonderful Chanukah party at their beautiful new home in Lakeway. Great fun, great food, great company! We also had a “white elephant” gift exchange, which was rather humorous. (Some crazy lady brought a hand made basket woven from old straw remnants!)

Speaking of crazy ladies….. (OR SHALL I SAY, LADIES THAT I AM CRAZY ABOUT!) …… Mrs. Barbara Talbott will be hosting her annual Christmas Eve Food, Bourbon, and Poker Winter Solstice & Pre-Cruise Festival on Monday evening, and I can’t wait! Last year we had food fit for a king. Actually, she brought in Burger King, but it was very tasty. (I got a large order of fries!) This year she will be conjuring up (is that the right word?) a special treat….. Flash Fried Fruit Cake Fritters. (Yummy)

On a serious note, Barbara’s husband, Max, lost his Dad recently. I have posted a link on a previous post, so if you want to learn what a real American hero is all about, check it out. (I posted part of the obituary) If you missed it, Mr. James Talbot, 88, passed away on 12/12/12! A special date for a very special man. Mr. Talbott served with incredible distinction during World War II (with his twin brother!) and was awarded (from the U.S. Army) not only THE BRONZE STAR but also the COMBAT INFANTRY BADGE and several other awards. As they say, they just don’t make men like him anymore. Thanks for keeping us free!

FOR MY ELVIS FANS…… Please note that on this day, in 1954, young Elvis was stopped for speeding in Shreveport, Louisiana. (Who would want to speed through lovely Shreveport?) The big guy was driving home for Christmas, and he only had a few bucks in his pocket. That was the problem. The officer wanted to know why Elvis was walking round with deer in his pockets. Hey, do you think they were reindeer? Anyway, Elvis got off with a warning and made it home in time to buy his Mama and Daddy a nice gift. I think he bought them Rhode Island. Other than that, nothing much happened on this date. By the way, I think the parents went back to the mall and returned Rhode Island. (Wrong size. Too small.)

Well, my dear family, friends, and fans, it is time to consume my pre-Christmas breakfast buffet. That being the case, I shall wish each and every one of you a joyous holiday and a very Merry Christmas! In the words of Tiny Tim (The one from Charles Dickens) “Hey, can I borrow a couple of pounds? I’m a little short.” One last question…. if Tiny Tim had a cold, do you think we would “Cratchit?”

“God bless us, every one!” (The REAL quote!)

Doc Yanoff

December 9, 2012

MARKETING 101 (HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE)

WHAT IS GREEN AND SINGS? GIVE UP? ….. ELVIS PARSLEY! (Hey, I could have gone with “Frank Snot-tra!) Well, in any case, this was my opening joke at the Austin Senior Center last week. Would you believe that a 90-year-0d woman told me it was lame! (She was a little lame, herself) As some of you know, I occasionally volunteer at the center. I am a C.T.C. (Certified Trip Chaperon) We bring 30 seniors on a field trip and then (ideally) return the same 30 seniors to the center. Every so often someone wanders away and then we have an awkward situation. (I personally just pick up a hitchhiker or two and then drop them off at the center.) They only count heads. (Sometimes tails.) Anyway, I love speaking to seniors. They are always the best audience and the most interesting folks. Some of the octogenarians are poor poker players, but it’s nice knowing that they only have to wait one month to get reimbursed for their losses. What a great country we live in!

I would like to extend a hardy “buenos dias” to Helena Mont’ Alverne de Sequeira and Countess Connie, the two lovely ladies that have promoted THE PRESLEY PLOT in Portugal! These two women are Lesbonians. (From Lisbon?) They are both members of the “Awesome Azores Elvis Fan Club,” one of the largest fan clubs in that part of the world! Welcome to America, ladies! I look forward to dining with you during the upcoming week. (No sardines, though!)

Last Thursday I had the honor and pleasure of speaking before the River Place Book Club here in Austin, Texas. My goodness, what a fun event that was! The speaking engagement and book signing was hosted by the lovely and talented Mrs. Claudia Tobias. Mrs. “T” has a beautiful home overlooking one of our magnificent canyons, and this being the holiday season, the entire house was decorated with Christmas ornaments. The place looked great! So cheerful and warm. I held court (after one very strong Mimosa) for two hours, and during that time, the ladies of the group asked some truly insightful and intelligent questions. (No, they did not ask for my PIN numbers!) These ladies were highly educated and very well read, and I absolutely loved the questions they asked. In all honesty, this was one of my most enjoyable outings. Sooooo…… I would like to say thanks again to my good friend Claudia, and I would also like to say “howdy” to all of the wonderful women that were present….. Pat, Suzanne, Lois, Sharon, Pam, Betty, Kay, Sylvia, Betsey, and Donna D.

AND NOW FOR YOU ELVIS FANS…… Did you know that on or near this date in 1972, Elvis Presley went shopping (Not at Barton Creek Mall) and spent more money than my own wife does on one of her mad dash outings? True enough, folks. The King spent $10,000 for 5 jumpsuits, 5 silk shirts, and repairs to 8 other jumpsuits. That, my friends, is a lot of money to spend on jumpsuits and silk, considering that Elvis never went sky-diving. He did “jump” to conclusions now and then. He also had several “leaps of faith.” And yes, he “fell” for many women. God, when will these puns ever end?? Well, shoot (chute?) I should stop while I’m ahead.

Several of my blog followers have asked when MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE will be available. (The second “Adam Gold Mystery.”) God willing, I should hear something this coming week, and as soon as I do, I will pass the news along. My publicist will be doing some holiday advertising in our local newspapers, so if you live in Texas, you might just see my face or image in your newspaper. If you can’t wait, just head on down to the post office. They have a very flattering mug shot, I mean, head shot, of me on display. (I don’t care for those profile photos.)

Finally, since this is the first day of Hanukkah, I would like to wish all of my Jewish friends a joyous week. I don’t think any other Jewish holiday can “hold a candle” to Hanukkah.

Come on, now, that was funny! L’chaim!

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

November 14, 2012

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!

WHILE ELVIS WAS THE UNDISPUTED KING OF LAS VEGAS……. There is another person who certainly deserves to be mentioned with reverence…..The great poker player named Steve Gee, who just finished 9th (out of a zillion other players) at the World Series of Poker! If you have been following this blog (and let’s face it, who hasn’t?) you know that Steve is the talented brother of my beautiful and brilliant friend, Diane Gee. Steve made a fantastic run for the gold and played against some of the best poker players in the world (luck for him, I was busy that week) and we are all proud of his accomplishment. And don’t feel sorry for the lad! Steve walked away with…… $754,798 for his efforts!! Not bad for one week’s work, eh? In case you’re wondering, that’s the same amount of my book royalties for THE PRESLEY PLOT. (Hey, a guy can dream!)

If you want to see Steve’s “farewell” interview at the tournament, just Google: “Steve Gee, World Series of Poker.” There is a “live” interview posted on this website. The interviewer forgot to ask him about his favorite author (would you like to guess who that might be??) but it is still worth watching.

NOW ON TO ELVIS……. My beautiful and brilliant cousin, Susan Wilson, the woman who single-handedly runs JRS Investments in Nashville, sent me a most interesting article about the King. For those of you in Tennessee (Five Tennessee Fan Clubs are on my blog) please note that the Tennessee State Museum is offering an exhibit (starting on November 8th.) called……. “ELVIS AT 21: Photographs by Alfred Wertheimer.” The exhibit will include 56 images of the King, most of them captured before Col. Parker took over and limited the number of photos that could be taken. I have seen a few of these photographs, and I can honesty say that they are quite fascinating. If you’re interested, the exhibit will be at the museum until January 8th.

By the way, the most interesting photograph in the exhibit shows ELVIS in New York City (my “home town”) on the very day that the old boy made history by recording not one, but two songs that would become number one hits in a very short time……. Would you like this to be our trivia question of the week? Very well, please fill in the blanks listed below this paragraph and mail them to: ATTN: JILL KELLEY

56 FLOOZY BLVD., TAMPA, FLORIDA

You will be notified by the Pentagon if you win the trivia contest. Please note that if you do enter the contest you will immediately be subject to being drafted. If you are chosen for military service in a country with many goats, please do not despair. The contest sponsors are offering free air fare to and from Islamabad.

Well, on that semi-humorous note, I shall bid you adieu. I would like to remind you that last Sunday was Veterans Day, so if you know someone who served in the military, please thank them for their service to our country. God knows we all owe them a huge round of applause for a job well done. (Way to go, Cousin Max!)

Have a wonderful day and do not ask why “sour cream” has an expiration date! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

October 25, 2012

NEVER A DULL MOMENT!

WHERE DO I BEGIN? Well, let’s start with the exciting news that my dear friend Diane Gee has recently shared with me….. (Diane is one of the charming ladies that run the office of Dr. Michael Williamson, another friend, and the world’s BEST periodontist!) I have know Diane for over 10 years, but only recently did her wonderful brother Steve (probably named after me) start playing professional poker. Steve now spends a great deal of time in Las Vegas, and will soon (October 28th) be spending even more time there because…… Steve Gee just made it to the final table of THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER!!

I am very excited about all of this, especially because I have formally suggested Steve’s new “professional nickname.” Are you ready for this? All right, Steve will now be known as “THE G-MAN.” I love the connection to his last name, and the fact that he is connected to the Feds. (Although I think an I.R.S. connection would have been better, because if Steve wins the whole enchilada, he will receive $8,500,ooo!!!!!)

Good luck, buddy! We here in Austin will be rooting for you! (And don’t forget to hold up a copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT whenever the camera swings to you!) The Elvis t-shirts are on the way.

MORE EXCITING NEWS…… Last night’s Literary Salon Event was a huge success! The audience was alive and kicking, and we had a marvelous time discussing mystery novels, publishing, and the lack of parking spaces at the Wildflower Terrace. (Which is a very lovely venue, I might add.) Our wonderful hostess, Terri Schexnayder, held a pre-seminar party in her brand new apartment, and some of the guests (i.e., Ms. Beverly Horne) wore Halloween costumes. The wine and food were greatly appreciated, and so was the post-seminar book signing. The lovely and talented Helen Ginger was my co-panelist, and together we sold many, many books. SO THANK YOU AGAIN, TERRI!

After the mystery seminar, I joined some dear friends for a late-night Cajun snack. (Which consisted of great fried oysters, catfish, and Abita Beer.) I must say, it was a wonderful conclusion to a most wonderful day. And by the way, since one of the couples (Max and Barbara Talbott, of the Chateau Talbott Family in France) was at our table, I will end this post by mentioning something about their home state, Indiana…..

Thirty-six years ago today, ELVIS PRESLEY performed a memorable concert in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The show was held at the Memorial Coliseum, and there were roughly 14,000 people in attendance. The crowd was VERY enthusiastic, and just by coincidence, Elvis had just released a wonderful rendition of “How Great Thou Art.”

Naturally, the next day’s headline read: “How Great He Was!” Those in attendance swear that this was one of The King’s best shows….. and I don’t doubt it. I just wonder if Elvis began the concert by asking the crowd…. “Hoosier Mama?”

A “Hoosier” is a resident of Indiana, but the etymology of the word is actually unkown. (Some folks think the word comes from “hoo,” meaning high or hill in the old Angl0-Saxon language, or “hoozer” which means large) Whatever the case, the good people of Indiana made Elvis feel quite welcome, and we should do our best to welcome them to Texas. (Here we have a sneaky reference to my lovely birthday gift to Max Talbott, which will certainly get him “high.”) Think Bourbon.

Well, gang, I must run….. Sunday is my sweet Rachel’s wedding day (my oldest daughter) and we are putting together “gift boxes” for our out-of-town guests. The story of Rachel’s wedding will be told in future blogs…. and you will not want to miss a single installment! I shall write again soon…… Love to all……

Doc Yanoff, The Father of the Bride!

October 21, 2012

BREAKING NEWS!

WHO NEEDS NORWAY? I say no way, Norway, you can keep that dang Nobel Prize for Boring Literature….. I have some really exciting news!

As some (most?) of you know, I was sailing through the Panama Canal on the day that the publisher sent me the final galleys for THE PRESLEY PLOT. Since I was preparing for a prolonged jungle trip (To visit the Embera Indians) my mind was on survival gear and head-hunting techniques, and so I did a VERY poor job of proofreading my own manuscript! Nobody to blame but myself, although I still think the tribal witch doctor put a curse on me. (He was a Jerry Lee Lewis fan.)

Anyway….. the good folks at Aberdeen Bay Publishing, having completely sold out of all the first editions of THE PRESLEY PLOT (and recognizing genius when they see it) have kindly agreed to make ALL OF THE CORRECTIONS for the second edition! For me, this is wonderful news. I was really annoyed that I did such a poor job proofreading, but now I have a chance to redeem myself. Frankly, this is probably the only reason that I did not win the Nobel Prize. (What else could it be?) In any case, the second edition will be out shortly and available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Googlebooks.com, etc. If you bought a first edition and want to trade it in, just let me know and I will be happy to make an exchange. (I intend to give the first editions to a charitable organization.) However, I understand that error laden books are actually valuable if and when the author becomes famous….. think of the stamps that are so valuable because of printing errors. So…. you might want to hold on to your first copy.

And since we are on the subject of publishing….. the brilliant acquisitions editor at Aberdeen Bay Books (who is also an accomplished author) has requested that I promptly forward a copy of my second mystery novel titled….. MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE. I am hoping to hear something positive in a month or so, and I will keep you informed of my progress. Keep your fingers (and some of your toes) crossed for me! My editor, a wonderful professional named Karl Monger, actually enjoyed the second book more than the first, which is a very good sign. Of course, as you know by now, there are no guarantees in the competitive world of publishing.

Finally, I would like to remind those that live in or near Austin, that I will be a featured speaker/panelist at a mystery writers seminar this coming Wednesday. The event is being sponsored by the Austin Literary Salon. The location of the event will be at Wildflower Terrace Apartments, 3801 Berkman Drive. (In their main auditorium) The festivities begin promptly at 6:30 p.m. and end at 8:30 p.m. As I mentioned previously, there will be a panel discussion, a Q & A session, and then a book reading and book signing. Admission is almost free, and a gourmet dinner prepared by a world famous French chef will be available. (For the modest sum of $12,000 per person, not including wine.) What a bargain! What a steal! Buy a book! Get a meal!

All right, enough with the marketing routine. If you’re free, come down and join the fun. You will not be disappointed. They are expecting a sold out crowd, so plan to arrive by 6 p.m. if you want to get a good seat. (And remember to ask me some easy questions and laugh at all of my dumb jokes!)

Well, I’m off to get ready for another Sunday function with some of my major blog followers up in Round Rock. Mrs. Helena Bomblatus (a charming and lovely woman from Portugal) is hosting an elaborate (and authentic) dinner party, featuring gourmet goodies from the Azores. She is quite the chef, and I am anxiously awaiting her most recent culinary creation. It will also be nice to be surrounded by a fawning bunch of psychopaths, I mean, sycophants, who think I’m the best thing since white bread. Ah, the price of fame. Well, it’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. (I can really sympathize with Brad Pitt.)

Have a wonderful Sunday and be careful out there…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff