HAWAII FIVE-O!

Make that Hawaii 2.0  (As in part two of my ongoing wedding saga!)  On today’s blog I shall further elucidate the “Royal Wedding” that was recently held on the lovely island of Maui.  Why?  Because half of my 65,000 blog followers are apparently of the female persuasion, and chicks demand details!  (and some more photographs!)  Fine with me.  If I have to cut my literary cloth to suit the latest fashion, then so be it!  (anything to sell more books!)

Incidentally, how many of you folks remember the original HAWAII FIVE-0 television program?  If you recall, Steve McGarrett (Jack Lord) loved to apprehend criminals by telling one of his officers to…  “Book ’em, Danno!”  Well, oddly enough, the poor fellow that checked us into the Four Seasons Resort was named Danno.  Every time one of our wedding guests checked-in I told him, “Book ’em a room, Danno!”  (He was semi-amused the first ten times I used that line.  I think.)  In any case, the original television show began in 1968, which was 50 years ago.  (The age of many of my jokes!)

As I said last week, the Four Seasons Resort is a swell joint.  Very classy.  For example, take their bathroom products.  (I took all of them!)  The lotions and oils were from France!  I think they were High-Octane, but that might have been L’Occitane.  (Which might be the French word for gasoline.  Who knows.)  The soaps and shampoo were from Bulgaria!  (Which was mis-spelled on the label.  The label read Bulgari, leaving off the letter “a”)  Even the dang towels were high-toned, and they folded into my suitcase very neatly.

Having absolutely nothing to complain about, but wanting to find something to kvetch about, I stormed up to the front desk and told Danno that I had a problem with the beach.  Specifically, (or should I say, Pacifically) I told him that the water was very salty.  He said he couldn’t do anything about the salinity level of the ocean.  (Not the answer I wanted to hear!)  Then I complained about the beach itself.  I told Danno that it was quite sandy.  He muttered something about me being a “son of a beach,” or something like that, so I dropped the matter.

Nevertheless, I did enjoy the Four Seasons, and I do miss that lovely tropical weather.  Austin is very hot right now, and next week the temperatures are predicted to be well over 100 degrees each day!  Thus, as you can see, we also have four seasons down here in Texas:   Early summer, mid-summer, late summer, and NEXT SUMMER!  By the way, did you know that you can tell how hot it is by listening to a cricket?  (No joke)  In 1897, physicist Amos Dolbear discovered a link between temperature and how often crickets chirp.

Here’s the simplified version of “Dolbear’s Law”:   Count the number of times a cricket chirps in 15 seconds, then add 40 to the chirp total to arrive at the approximate temperature in degrees Fahrenheit.  Believe it or not, this actually works!  (I hope I’m not “bugging” you with this information.)

Moving on, my next adventure will be a short trip to South Florida.  I shall be visiting my dear, sweet mother and taking some final notes on Capone Island.  (Which is also the title of the next Adam Gold mystery.)  The island, currently known as Deerfield State Park, plays a prominent role in the next book, so I must get the details right.  Later in August I will be taking an amazing trip across the Adriatic and Mediterranean, but more about that next week!  (First I must straighten things out with Interpol.  They’re so picky about passport violations!)

Well, as promised to my female followers, I shall now attempt to post some previously unseen photographs of my daughter’s recent wedding.  Hopefully you will enjoy viewing them, and perhaps you might consider sending me some money so that I can avoid personal bankruptcy.  (Cash only, no checks)  I wish you all a great upcoming week, and I look forward to our next rendezvous!

Aloha & love,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

 

WOWEE, A WEDDING IN MAUI!

ALOHA, my dear friends!  Would you like to guess where I’ve been the last two weeks?  Way out west!  We started our trip in Los Angeles, “The City of Angels,” which was actually hotter than hell.  After picking up a book award and sampling some groovy restaurants, we boarded a Delta jet and made our way to Maui, Hawaii.  (Neither Brad or Angelina were available for lunch in L.A.)  Upon our arrival in Maui, it was party time!  My beautiful daughter, Rebecca Lee, got married at the lovely Four Seasons Resort, which is a sight to behold.  (And so was she!)  The resort is over-the-top gorgeous, and one of the most beautiful joints I ever had the pleasure of visiting.

How classy is the Four Seasons?  Well, when you check-in, they offer you some Macedonia nuts, sun tan lotion, and a colorful lei.  (I could make some jokes about the lei, but this is a family blog!)  I loved the ukulele music in the lobby.  During Christmas they play Don Ho Ho Ho records.  (Come on, that was funny.)

Our guests were treated to an assortment of pre-paid excursions on the surrounding islands.  Some were better than others.  On Lanai, guests were offered a tour of a snake farm that featured Burmese Pythons!  (Similar to Boa Contractors)  One of the reptiles had a sense of humor, so I named him Monty Python.  However, due to their mean dispositions, I kept my distance.  (Remember the old saying?  Let pythons be pythons?)  The biggest critter was about 15 feet long, but he refused to have sex with the other snakes.  (I think he had a reptile dysfunction.)

On Molokai, our beloved guests were invited to visit a now-defunct leper colony.  On a scale of one to ten, this tour was a two.  (Maybe I shouldn’t use the word “scale?”)  I hear that some of our guests remained on the bus and refused to shake hands with the tour guide.  I made some good jokes on the bus, remembering that laughter is contagious.  (Then again, so is leprosy!)

A few of the young girls got to visit the island of Kauai.  (But as Frankie Valli once said, big girls don’t Kauai.)  Hey,  do you think Frankie Valli ever stayed at the Four Seasons?  Hmmm.

As you might have guessed by now, this was a “destination wedding.”  (The final destination being bankruptcy court!)  All of our pampered guests were given lava lamps as a “welcome gift,” but a few folks got second-degree burns.  (My daughter insisted on using actual lava!)  We hosted a rehearsal dinner, wedding dinner, and  a brunch on day three.  Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a Costco on Maui, so we were forced to serve an assortment of traditional Hawaiian fish…..  Ahi Tuna, Kumu, Monchong, and Opakapaka.  (The last fish was from South Florida.)

Between visits to the magnificent beach, our guests took full advantage of Hawaii’s natural attractions…  Tsunamis, earthquakes, and volcanoes!  Actually, the only active volcano was on the Big Island.  (I’m referring to the Kilauea Volcano, which is still erupting!)  Some smoke drifted our way, but nothing to be concerned about.  I told a local official that they should call the volcano “Killyouanywaya,” but he didn’t seem to like my suggestion.

In all, or mostly, seriousness, Maui is incredibly beautiful.  A true paradise.  While we were touring the island, we caught a glimpse of Oprah’s house, and the vacation home of a fellow Austinite named Willie Nelson.  I’m not sure why, but Willie’s house was surrounded by a thick cloud of smoke that smelled vaguely familiar.  He lives on a mountain, way up high, which seems fitting.  On the day we left, a delivery truck ran over Willie’s foot!  (He was playing “On The Road Again!”)

Well, my fellow Macadamia nuts, I must say Aloha and take my leave.  (I need to unpack my suitcase and wash all those room towels!)  We were truly blessed to host such a marvelous affair on such a lovely island, but it’s great to be home again.  If you scroll down, you will find some photographs of my recent adventure.  I usually conclude by saying “Love to all,” but on this Sunday, I shall leave you with a sweet Hawaiian phrase…..

E lei kau, e lei ho’oilo i ke aloha.   (Love is worn like a wreath through the summers and winters.  Love is everlasting.)

ALOHA,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! (2018 Version)

Did you know that we can actually thank a woman for Father’s Day?  Dad’s special day was promoted by a Sonora Smart Dodd, the daughter of an American Civil War veteran!  (She wanted to honor her father, and she hopefully had some shares in the Hallmark Card Company!)  I say hopefully only because over 70 million Father’s Day cards are sold each year!  Oddly enough, George Washington, the celebrated father of our country, had no children of his own.  (Which might explain why he died a wealthy man!)  In any case, let me wish each and every dad a happy and healthy day, and on behalf of our children, let not your heart be troubled.  (They will eventually move out!)

You might be interested to learn that the only father-daughter collaboration to hit the top spot on the Billboard pop music chart was the 1967 hit single, “Something Stupid,” by Frank & Nancy Sinatra.  (And no, the song was NOT written about me!)  I mention this small bit of trivia as a segue into another topic…. the passing of DJ Fontana, the man who played drums for Elvis Presley for over 14 years.  I got to meet him during a research trip to Tupelo, Mississippi, back when I was writing THE GRACELAND GANG.  He was a very nice gent, and one of the pioneers of rock ‘n roll.  An amazingly talented fellow.

So what else is new?  Well, my book presentation at Longhorn Village was a HUGE success, thanks to Ms. Terri Hallenbeck, their Events Manager, and Miss Pat Hime, my newly hired publicity person.  I spoke about the Garfield assassination, and introduced the audience to my book, THE SECOND MOURNING.  I met a lot of wonderful people, sold a bunch of books, and had a marvelous time.  What more could any author ask for?  Did you say free wine?  Yeah, we had that, too!  I will teaching a creative writing course at Longhorn Village in the fall, and I’m sure that will be a great experience for me.

And speaking of great experiences…  Last night was truly special for me, as some of my dear friends helped me celebrate another milestone… my 39th birthday.  (Hey, you’re as old as you feel!)  The party was at the lovely villa of the Princess of Portugal, who created a special seafood dish that was simply out of this world!  (A delicious Portuguese specialty that contained every known fish in the ocean)  OMG, was that yummy!  And get this, Baron Lee, the noble husband of the Princess, took the time to bake one of his most famous desserts for me…. a seafood tart, filled with…..  Just kidding….  he baked a marvelously delicious rum cake covered with succulent pecans.  What a treat!  I greatly appreciate all the effort they exerted to make my birthday so special.

I would also like to thank Countess Connie, who allowed me to massage her knee.  (I told her I was a doctor, and she fell for it.)  Actually, she fell earlier, and I was just trying to help.  When I was a lad, I wanted to be a masseuse, but I rubbed people the wrong way.  (Ouch!)  By the way, I would also like to thank Barbara & Max Talbott for the sweet “Aloha Cup” that they brought from Hawaii.  (I only wish they had emptied the volcanic ash before giving it to me!)  More about Hawaii next week…  I will soon be following the advice of Horace Greeley, who said, “Go west, young man!”    (No more hints!)

In closing, I would like to present this week’s trivia contest question…  What is the MOST popular Father’s Day gift?  Be the first to supply the correct answer and you will win a gift card from Home Depot.  Incidentally, this would be a very appropriate card, as the other popular gifts given to Dad are hammers, wrenches, and screwdrivers.  My father, after studying his children, always needed several screwdrivers.  (Sometimes he just drank straight vodka.)

Dasvidaniya comrades!  Have a great week and keep smiling!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

A RUN FOR THE MONEY!

What did you think of when you read today’s blog title?  If you thought about the Triple Crown that’s fine, but I was hoping you’d think about the fifth “Adam Gold Mystery,” which bore that title, and has become synonymous with horse racing.  I am very proud to announce that this book, which deals with Thoroughbreds and high risk insurance, was awarded to ALL of the Belmont Stakes participants as part of a unique “gift package,” created by my darling publicist, Francine “Freebie” Flakowitz.  Naturally, the books were given out at no cost, which means that I’ll get my usual royalties!

Nonetheless, it was an honor to be associated with the Belmont racetrack, which happens to be only a few miles from my boyhood home in Nassau County, New York.  I spent many happy (and winning) moments at the track, and was thrilled that Justify became the 13th Triple Crown Winner.  For the record, the triple crown consists of 3 races, the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes.  By winning the Belmont, Justify’s owners received over 1 million dollars, but the real loot lies down the road.  (When Justify starts dating other horses!)

Incidentally, for those of you who follow the horses, I placed a sizable bet on Justify in Las Vegas, predicting that he would win the Triple Crown.  As some of you know, I did the same with American Pharaoh in 2015, which is why A RUN FOR THE MONEY is my favorite mystery novel!  (PLEASE do not share this blog with the I.R.S.)  I told them my horse is still running!

So what else is new?  Well, last week I was the featured speaker at the Tuscan Village Book Cub in Lakeway, Texas.  I regaled the audience with stories about William Henry Seward, and we completely sold out of books after the presentation. (I was speaking about my new history book, TURBULENT TIMES.) Betsy Frost, the lovely lady who introduced me, told me that this was the largest book club audience they ever had, and I had a marvelous time.  What a wonderful group of people…. highly educated, alert and attentive, and gracious in every way.  I hear they sold 70 tickets, but I’m not surprised.  Lakeway is filled with amazing folks, and they are a joy to meet!  Thanks also to Mrs. Sheila Niles, who orchestrated my talk.  (And Mindy Beaty who laughed at my lame jokes!)

And since we are on the subject of book clubs, tomorrow I shall be appearing (gosh, that sounds so theatrical!) at Longhorn Village in Steiner Ranch.  Thanks to the incredible Terri Hallenbeck, the Events Manager at Longhorn, I will be speaking about my first history book, THE SECOND MOURNING.  I’m sure this will be another great day, and I look forward to making some new friends and blog followers.  By the way, I will also be teaching a creative writing class there starting in October, so if you have a secret desire to become an author, please feel free to join us.  (Contact Ms. Hallenbeck for details.)

Lest I forget, the winner of last month’s prize (awarded by my generous publisher) was Ms. Henrietta Little from Canton, Ohio.  Ms. Little won a $500 gift card to Barnes & Noble.  (Hopefully, she will buy all of my books!)  In any case, congratulations and thanks for following our (semi) amusing blog!

Incidentally, did you know that Canton holds the circular, domed tomb of President William McKinley?  Our 25th U.S. president spent much of his life in Canton, and nearby you will find the McKinley Presidential Library and Museum.  Why do I mention these salient facts?  Because, believe it or not, my next history book (tentatively titled, GONE BEFORE GLORY) examines the fascinating life and assassination of Mr. McKinley!  How’s that for a coincidence?

Well, my friends, I must take my leave, as Goldie and Fiona (my grand-daughters) are expecting Poppy to come over for a swim.  I like to get in the pool before they do, mainly because the water turns a tad yellow after they start splashing around.  (I do hope my daughter uses Chlorine!)  Which reminds me, in preparation for the big summit between Kim and President Trump, I am re-reading my favorite book about China.  It’s called The Yellow River, by I.P. Daily.  (Remember that joke from third grade?)

Have a wonderful week!   Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

THE AMERICAN WAY…

I might have mentioned this before, but about ten percent of our 60,000 blog followers hail from foreign nations around the globe.  That being the case, a number of them have asked why there was no Sunday blog last week, so I thought I should take a moment and explain.  Last week, in the United States, was Memorial Day, a weekend set aside to honor the brave men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice to keep us free.  For many of us, including me, the weekend is a somber occasion, a time to reflect and remember.  Writing a blog did not seem fitting or respectful, so I took a pass.  Simple as that.

Our foreign friends might be interested to know that Memorial Day was originally known as Decoration Day, and was created to honor the Union and Confederate soldiers who died during the American Civil War.  (1861-1865)  Our nation lost somewhere between 620,000 to 750,000 soldiers, depending upon who you ask.  Regardless of the exact number of casualties, the Civil War was our deadliest war, and some of the scars are still visible.

On a lighter note, I will be speaking about the Civil War and William H. Seward this coming Wednesday, as a guest of theTuscan Village Book Club in Lakeway.  I would like to thank the wonderful Betsy Frost and the incredible Sheila Niles for putting this event together.  These ladies, and all of the lovely ladies of Lakeway, are always a pleasure to talk to, and they ask some great questions.  (And a few of my answers are actually accurate!)

Thanks to the amazing Loyd Smith, my newly-hired Booking Manager, I will also be speaking to the Men’s Club of Lakeway on August 15th.  The subject of this presentation will not be TURBULENT TIMES (The Remarkable Life of William H. Seward) but my newest “Adam Gold Mystery,” titled, CAPONE ISLAND.  (Would you like to guess which American gangster plays a prominent role in the story?)  The event starts after breakfast, so come early and grab a good seat while you can.  (The last two events were “standing room” only.)

By the way, speaking of TURBULENT TIMES, I should mention that the book recently won another literary award.  Last week, Shelley Anderson, the Awards Coordinator of the 2018 NEXT GENERATION BOOK AWARDS, announced that my book had been chosen as a FINALIST in their prestigious writing contest.  In addition, I was invited to attend a gala awards ceremony at the Hotel Monteleone in New Orleans on June 22nd.  Along with a medal and plaque, all of the winning authors will be featured on the Next Generation Webpage, receive a complimentary listing in the 2018 NGIBA Catalog, and have their book displayed at the 2018 American Library Association Annual Meeting.  Needless to say, I am humbled by this wonderful award.

For those of you who live in the Lakeway area and have been asking about my upcoming writing course, I have some good news!  I had a very productive meeting with the amazing events manager at Longhorn Village  (Ms. Terri Hallenbeck) and we have agreed to offer a course starting on October 4, 2018!  Terri was absolutely wonderful in every way (and Longhorn Village is just beautiful) so I look forward to a long association with these caring folks.  If you’re ever in Steiner Ranch, you should stop by and take a look at this place.  You won’t believe your eyes!

Well, I guess that’s about it for now.  If you missed my birthday on May 29th, please don’t worry.  I took down the names of those who did not send a gift, but I don’t hold a grudge very long.  (Less than a decade)  Don’t ask how old I am, but I’ll give you a hint…  I remember when a cup of coffee was under $3.00  (Jeez, that’s old!)  If you think that’s old, listen to this joke…   I’m so old that my first homeowner policy covered fire, theft, and Indian raids!

Have a great week, and check out my new award below this blog…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

HITTING IT BIG IN HOLLYWOOD!

Well, thanks to my new book tour manager, Remo “Wrong Turn” Ronzoni, I am now something of a legend in Hollywood.  Unfortunately, that would be Hollywood, Florida.  (As opposed to that den of antiquity, Hollywood, California!)  I have just returned from a (semi) productive visit to the Sunshine State, and people in the Royal Palms Condominium Association are singing my praises.  Well, some of them are singing.  Most are napping.  The age of the average attendee was somewhere between 75 and the Jurassic Period.  Nonetheless, my lectures were received with great fondness, and some short intervals of snoring.  Since I am sort of a senior, I must dispense with further “age jokes.”  (Mainly because I forgot the punch lines!)

Florida was actually quite lovely this time of year, and I got to introduce one of my grand-daughters to the Atlantic Ocean.  (The poor kid got knocked over by a few waves, but let’s face it, experience is the best teacher.)  On this trip, I was accompanied by both of my own daughters, their husbands and children, and my psychiatrist, Melvin “Mind Games” Moskowitz.  (Let’s face it, folks, you have to be crazy to travel cross-country with a two-year-old!)

I went to Florida to pick up one of my literary awards, and more importantly, to visit my aging mother.  (Miss Hazel is 92 years old!)   We had a wonderful visit, and I was able to show my family the location of my soon-to-be-released mystery novel, CAPONE ISLAND.  Which, believe it or not, is located directly in front of my mother’s house in Boca Raton!  Very cool place, and a wonderful venue for Adam Gold’s next adventure.

By the way, my next history book is coming along great.  I already have all of the page numbers written!

Speaking of books, if you’ve read the first “Adam Gold Mystery,” titled, THE GRACELAND GANG, then you are familiar with the life and legend of Elvis Presley.  Well, guess what?  Today, in Switzerland, they are auctioning off the King’s Omega wristwatch!  This was the watch that was presented to him in February, 1961, to acknowledge his 75,000,000 record sales.  It’s diamond encrusted, but despite being crusty, it’s supposed to fetch a few million bucks.  (I emailed a bid, but I don’t expect to win.  Maybe I should have offered twenty dollars.  Time will tell.)

Before I forget, I’d like to wish all you mothers a Happy Mother’s Day.  Did you know that the ancient Romans (are there any other kind?) started this holiday in 250 B.C.  (Which stands for “Before Christ.”  A.D. stands for “After Dat.”)  They called their spring celebration the feast of Hilaria.  (Which was NOT named in honor of Hilary Clinton, and has nothing to do with being hilarious.)  In America, 1/4 of all flower bouquets are sold on Mother’s Day!  Personally, I don’t send my Mom flowers.  I send her a “congratulations card” for having me.  Oddly enough, she has never thanked me for the cards.

Lest I forget, our best wishes to Barbara and Max Talbott who are vacationing on the Big Island of Hawaii this week.  As I told my friends earlier, you have to go with the flow this week.  Next month they will be going to Teheran, for some sort of bomb shelter festival.  Not to be outdone, the Princess of Portugal and Baron Lee are wondering aimlessly around some sort of Mormon-inspired rock park in Utah.  We, on the other hand, will be spending the next few days at my friend’s cattle ranch in West Texas.  My buddy owns 2,000 head of cattle.  (I have no idea what he did with their bodies.)

Well, since it was Mother’s Day, I splurged for a fancy dinner, and took my dear wife to her favorite barbecue joint.  (A legendary spot called “Stiles Switch,” in Austin.)  We chowed down on some fine vittles, and drank a few beers, and then I showed her a picture of the flowers I intend to buy her after Mother’s Day.  (At a 50 percent discount!)  To prove my love, I will also give her the box of chocolates that I bought her for Valentine’s Day.  Well, actually, I bought the candy last week, but who’s counting days?  I know what you chicks are thinking….. she doesn’t deserve a husband like me!  Who does?

If you wish, you may scroll down and catch a glimpse of yours truly enjoying my beef rib.  (I think my dish was called the “Fred Flintstone Special.”)  Check out the size of that rib!  Definitely a Texas cow.  Moo to you and yours,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

 

LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!

Yikes, this is starting to sound like my honeymoon!  (except for the action)  However, I implore you to remain calm.  The above headline refers to my recent foray into the wicked wilderness of Hollywood.  I parted ways with Brad Pitt’s production company after he dumped what’s-her-name, but don’t cry for me, Argentina, because I have recently been solicited (be nice) by a famous firm that specializes in oral gratification.  (Audiobooks.)  What did you think I meant?)

In any case, this illustrious firm wants me to read and record ALL six of my mystery novels and both of my history books!  This may sound good to you folks, but it would mean reading my own books, and I’m not sure I want to go down that road. No offense, Doc, but I wrote the books, so I already know what’s in them.  (I’m talking to myself again!)  In all, or mostly seriousness, I will probably pass on the offer for one reason…..  I would have to spend at least two months in Los Angeles, and there is no way in hell that’s going to happen.  (You need a crowbar to get me out of Texas these days!)  Still, it was a very sweet and generous offer, and maybe they can find somebody else to read the books.  Any volunteers?

Speaking of “show business,” last night’s show at the Lakeway Activity Center was marvelous.  This year’s theme was “Vaudeville & Beyond.”  The auditorium was sold-out, and for good reason.  Among the stars were two of my dear friends, Jaime and Gary Rubenstein.  Jaime has a voice like an angel, and Gary is one of my many, many comedy proteges.  Last night, Gary provided most of the laughs.  (Mainly backstage)  but he also did a fabulous routine dressed as a “mature woman.”  He looked simply fetching.  (But as I told him earlier, that would be “fetch” as in “fetch, boy!  Fetch!)

There were a number of (semi) famous Lakeway celebrities in the audience, including my publicist/booking agent/straight-man, Ms. Sheila Niles.  (and her hubby)  Mr. & Mrs. Larry Frieden, Pat Cutrone, Denise Williamson, and Barbara & Max Talbott.  These poor folks had to share the table with me, but they all survived the evening.  (More or less)  Congratulations to everyone in Lakeway who put on another great performance!  (Hopefully they will soon produce my musical comedy.  The play about President Garfield’s assassination.  Tentatively titled, “A STREETCAR NAMED PERSPIRE.”)  Should I have gone with “DESIRE UNDER THE ARMS?”

Incidentally, I will be dining with the Talbotts, Judge Susan, Baron Lee, and the Princess of Portugal this evening.  (Baron Lee wanted to go to Round Rock Donuts, but I’ve convinced him to try The Blind Squirrel Sandwich Shop.  (Believe it or not, this is the actual name of the place!)  They offer a lovely confit of beef brisket on Texas toast, and they have a dessert that should be called the “Dr. DeBakey Special.”  Ready for this?  Peanut-butter-bacon cookies!  Yuumy, yummy, I’ve got cement in my tummy!

In closing, I want to remind you that life is sexually transmitted, so be careful out there.  Then again, you might wish to view healthy as merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.  Depends on whether you view the glass as half-empty or half-full, or simply as another item I left on the kitchen counter.  The choice is yours, so take your time.  (What the hell are we talking about?)

Well, I must leave thee.  Enjoy your upcoming week, and if you get a chance, try to figure something out for me.  (I began to think about this when I was teaching at St. Edward’s University)  If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?  (Do NOT send your answers through the mail!)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff