YEAH, home is sweet, too, but this week it’s hotter than a two-dollar pistol down here in Austin, Texas! (I just saw a scorpion with a canteen on its back!) Oh well, it’s still great to finally be home after traipsing around Northern Europe for the last three weeks. On this voyage, we visited some fascinating places, including England, Scotland, Norway, Denmark, and Ireland. (Sounds like a World Cup Soccer tour, doesn’t it?) We began the overseas adventure with a 3-day visit to lovely Bath, England, which is located about two and a half hours west of London. We stayed at the Royal Crescent Hotel, which is a charming, traditional hotel in the center of town. This city was the spot where the Romans built their famous bath, which some of them actually used. (Unless they were going to a bridal shower.) The ancient structure is quite fascinating, but paled in comparison to the Scallop Shell Restaurant, which serves the BEST fish and chips in the world!
After we drenched ourselves in Bath (pun intended) we headed south, toward Southampton, where we climbed aboard the Seven Seas Grandeur, a beautiful ship that is part of the Regent fleet. On the very first night, they hosted a Texas Hold ‘Em poker tournament, which I won! (without cheating!) That started off the voyage in fine fashion, and it was all up hill from there. (Except for the fact that I had to split my poker winnings with my wife. I gave her two bucks, which she promptly lost in a slot machine. Women.)
Anyway, after my prestigious start, we dropped anchor in Edinburg, Scotland, where my better half spent most of her time looking for some dude named Jamie Fraser. (I never heard of this clown, but he was supposedly the star of a TV show called The Highlander.) Jeez, you’d think my wife would have spent her time looking for a more manly fictional character. Adam Gold, perhaps?
Edinburgh, I’m happy to say, lived up to its hype. It was rainy, cold, and gloomy. (but the beer was wonderful) Naturally we climbed the five thousand steps leading up to Edinburgh Castle, which was just as foreboding as it looks on postcards. Still, it was worth the exercise. (and a good way to build up a thirst!) The castle has been occupied by humans since the Iron Age, a period that spanned from 1200 to 600 B.C. During that time, the streets have been cleaned twice. (too many tourists to suite me!)
Our next stop was Invergordon, a well-known Scottish port that serves as the gateway to Loch Ness, the home of you-know-who. Nessie, as they call her, was nowhere to be seen, but we did see some scary tourists from Belarus. According to legend, the monster (not the folks from Belarus) lives in the deep, dark waters of the lake, and occasionally reveals herself to the public. She is usually spotted after the consumption of a scotch or two. (not the folks from Scotland, the alcohol) In any case, we spent a good deal of time walking along the shores of Loch Ness and touring an ancient castle that still stands near the main entrance. The castle is called Urquhart Castle, and is situated on a rocky promontory. I understand that it dates back to the 13th century, which is quite a bit older than the meat pies they serve at the gift shop. (Well, actually, they might have been the same age!)
The Scottish highlands are very rugged, but exceedingly beautiful. Most of the folks that live there are very warm and welcoming. However, they do tend to be a little clannish. (Come on, that wasn’t a bad pun!) By the way, are you familiar with the kilts that some of the men wear? They’re called kilts, because you’ll get kilt if you try to peek under them. (just ask my wife!)
Well, that’s enough travel talk for now. I will continue with my sermon next week, but let’s bring you up to date with my illustrious literary career. I did NOT win the Nobel Prize for literature this year, but I am still negotiating with some folks from Netflix, who are seemingly interested in two projects. They have shown great interest in a mini-series based on my book about John C. Fremont (WONDER OF THE WEST) and have also discussed the possibility of producing a series based upon the Adam Gold mysteries. Dealing with La-La Land people can be exhausting, but if anything pops I’ll let you know asap. (I’ll probably be in a home by then, but you never know.)
Incidentally, the last Adam Gold book, THE LONG HARD FALL, is still selling at a brisk pace and has recently won several awards. If you haven’t read it, you should. The story is quite interesting and mostly true. (similar to my entire life!)
Before I depart, I want to wish everyone a happy Fourth of July. I loved traveling around Europe for a few weeks, but believe me there is absolutely no place like the good old USA. When you travel abroad, you quickly realize how incredibly lucky we are to live in AMERICA. (where there is air conditioning!) Trust me, we are blessed beyond limit to live in such a wonderful country. I hope you all have a safe and sparkling holiday, and I wish you much love….
I have included some photographs for your viewing pleasure!
Take care,
Doc Yanoff
Books By Stephen G. Yanoff 