WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS…..

“WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE….. ”   Do you remember this song penned by Lennon & McCartney?  It first appeared on the classic 1967 album, “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.”  Frankly, it’s one of my favorite Beatle songs, and as fate would have it, I got plenty of help from my friends this week…..

On Wednesday, I was interviewed by Sarah Dolittle, the multi-talented reporter from the Four Points News.  Sarah and I spent several hours together, and we discussed THE GRACELAND GANG, THE PIRATE PATH, and DEVIL’S COVE.  I must warn you….  photographs were taken, so don’t be shocked if you see my mug on the cover of your Sunday newspaper.  (The photographs should NOT be used for target practice!)

On Friday, my poker friends in Cedar Park were kind enough to contribute $600 to my ever-growing poker fund, BUT…..  once again, the big news was made by my wife.  (Playing as “The Queen of Hearts.”)  Patty placed 4th in a major poker tournament and made the Mighty Cobra look silly.  (A rather simple task, I’m afraid!)

On Saturday, our good friends, Mary and Ivar Rachkind, had a lovely costume party to celebrate the arrival of Halloween.  The party was held at their beautiful home in River Place, and you might imagine, a great time was had by all.  I would like to thank the Rachkinds for the great food, great wine, great company, and great conversation.  In case you’re wondering, I came as “The Chic of Araby” and Miss Patty was “Catwoman.”   We didn’t win the costume contest, but we did receive several votes.  (Bribery works wonders!)

Finally, for those of you that might be attending the Texas Book Festival, please check out two of my dear friends that will be prominently featured at this year’s event…..   Mrs. Michael Schneider, the author of several highly acclaimed romantic suspense novels.  (Including BLIND FAITH and THE DARKNESS OF PERFECTION.)  Michael is an incredibly talented author AND a brilliant insurance underwriter!  (She works for my other friend, Mr. Ted Heaton, a State Farm agent.)  Mr. Larry Brill, a former television news broadcaster AND a terrific writer, will also be at the festival.  Larry’s latest book is titled, THE PATTERER, and it is described as “Monty Python meets Charles Dickens.”  The book has gotten a number of rave reviews and should be on everyone’s reading list this year.  If you mention my name, you will receive a (very) slight discount!

BONUS SURPRISE!  If you are still awake, I would like you to know that two of my book covers have been chosen as “finalists” in the annual book cover contest sponsored by Murder Ink Press!  (A very rare accomplishment.)  The new covers of THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH are in the running, so keep your fingers crossed for me.  (Even though the artist gets the cash prize!)  I get some free publicity.  Ah well, free is good.

Have a safe and wonderful week!  Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

MEMPHIS IN MOURNING!

NO, THEY DIDN’T RUN OUT OF PORK RIBS AT CORKY’S!

Last Friday, August 16, marked the 36th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death.  Hard to believe, but the King of Rock ‘n Roll died in 1977.  Oddly enough, his passing is “celebrated” with an annual week-long festival known as “Elvis Presley Week.”  In mid-August, the city is transformed into one big Elvis event, and each year over 400,000 people show up to join the party!  Believe me, it is quite a sight.  (Try to picture several thousand Elvis impersonators!)

Naturally, copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT will be available at various locations throughout the city.  (One vendor is selling only autographed copies….. my signature, not Elvis.)  I don’t make a great sum of money, but the publicity is wonderful, and I get to meet some interesting characters.

Speaking of books, I am currently reading a book about anti-gravity.  (I just can’t put it down!)  Incidentally, last week I mentioned that Elvis Presley’s Army uniform was about to be auctioned off in Dallas.  Well, how much do you think it fetched?  How does $35,000 sound?  While this was a decent price, it didn’t come close to the King’s peacock jumpsuit that sold for….. $300,000 in 2008!  In any case, I’ve decided to sell my socks on eBay, so don’t be a “heel” and buy a pair.  Each pair has been thoroughly washed, so you won’t get “toe-maine” poisoning.

How about some “food for thought?”   Last week’s book signing was held in Lampasas, which was followed by a Moonlight Swim at Hancock Springs.  (Although there wasn’t much moonlight at 4 p.m., the swim was wonderful, and we stopped at Hopdoddy’s for dinner!)  If you go to Hopdoddy’s, order the “Llano Poblano” hamburger…..  An angus beef patty, topped with pepper jack cheese, roasted poblano peppers, apple-smoked bacon, and chipolte mayo.  Simply amazing…. especially with a 512 IPA Beer!  (or two)

I have recently viewed the new book cover for MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE, and can report that it is simply marvelous.  The revised book should be out in early November, but by then, I may be back in the Caribbean!  Looks like we’re going on the road again, (or should I say the water?) and marching toward St. Thomas, St. John, and St. Martin.  (“When the saints, go marching in….. “)  Well, you know how that tune goes.  Yummy, yummy, more rum in my tummy!

Finally, if you want to try the BEST pancakes in the free world, come visit me in Austin, and I will take you to the Rise and Shine Bakery for their homemade buttermilk pancakes.  As Judge Susan and Princess Patty can attest, they are absolutely delicious!  I was there yesterday and I saw plenty of nice stacks.

Well, have a great week and remember not to believe everything you hear.  My wife thinks I’m a skeptic, but I don’t believe a word she says!  (Would you believe my neighbor has a skeptic tank?  What’s that about?)

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

THE PRESLEY PLOT THICKENS….. AGAIN!

First, a confession…..  As many of you know, I’m never wrong.  I once thought I was wrong, but as it turned out, I was mistaken.  I have no idea what any of this has to do with today’s blog, but I thought you should know where I stand.  (Even though I’m sitting.)  Speaking of standing in the right place…..

If you go to Scandinavia, be careful where you stand in the water, and DO NOT go skinny-dipping!  The Pacu, a nasty-looking fish from South America, (related to the Piranha) has invaded the waters between Denmark and Sweden.  I know it sounds like a Brothers Grimm folk tale, but it’s true, and here’s the worse part…..     the Pacu is a testicle-biting fish!  Holy mackerel!

My uncle once got bit on the ear by a fish.  He lost his herring.  (As a courtesy, I shall leave out my Swedish meat ball jokes!)

ATTENTION ELVIS FANS!    An amazing auction is about to take place, just in time to coincide with the newly released edition of THE PRESLEY PLOT……    Way back in 1958, when the King was 21 years old, he accepted conscription (the draft) to the U.S. Army.  The young lad was eventually assigned to the 3rd Armored Division in Friedberg, Germany.  (A few miles from the home of the Brothers Grimm!)  Well, guess what?  Private Presley’s 3-piece uniform is about to be sold at auction!  (In case you’re wondering, the uniform is owned by Patsy Presley, one of his cousins.)  By the time you read this blog, somebody will have plunked down a small fortune, as the uniform has already become the MOST collectible item of the year!  (So much for Michael Jackson’s silly glove!)

If you should find yourself in Kerrville, Texas on Tuesday, stop by Louise Hays Park and you can listen to me ramble on about MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE and DEVIL’S COVE.  I will also be signing books and drinking some beer.  Our tent will be set up on the banks of the Guadalupe River, which runs through the city.  It is a very scenic park and there should be some good food available.  Traveling can take a toll on the mind and body as one ages, but as the great Mark Twain was fond of saying……   “Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”   Amen, brother!

Have a safe and pleasant week…..  Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS…..

Well, if you’ve been reading VARIETY, the show-business magazine, you probably know the huge, earth-shattering news…..  Murder Ink Press has purchased the book and movie rights to THE PRESLEY PLOT and MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE!!  Both books will be revised (and lengthened) and reissued with new and improved front book covers in both soft-back and hard-back versions!!  They will also be available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Kindle, Nook, etc.

In a word, I am….. Astonished!  Delighted!  Grateful!  Flabbergasted!  (Wait a minute, that’s four words!)  Well, what can I say, a lot of books have “four-words!”

Seriously though, this is wonderful news, and I am one very lucky author.  A lot of the credit goes to you, my loyal blog followers, so thank you very much for your continued support and encouragement!  I shall not let you down!

So what else is new?  Judge Susan is coming over today for a “Mexican Swim Party.”  (Lots of “dips.”)  She is bringing her three gorgeous grandchildren, too.  After I finish this blog post, I’m going to Home Depot to buy 100 gallons of Chlorine!  (Use your imagination here.)    Congratulations to Rita and Michael Hennecke on the birth of their new daughter.  She is absolutely beautiful, but due to rising hospital costs, the parents have not yet chosen a name for her!  (I suggested “Hey, you” but I doubt the name will stick!)

My Texas Hold ‘Em tournament play remains hotter than a stolen tamale.  I’ve made it to the “final table” seven times in a row!  (Without winning the tournament, mind you.)  Last Thursday, I had the pleasure of sitting next to the beautiful and talented Beverly Skipper Lange.  My dear friend just got back from the MAIN EVENT at the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas, where she placed 86th and won…..  $70,000!  Well done, Miss Beverly!

Another poker great, Kevin Evans, surprised our last tournament group with some very special t-shirts.  The shirts were emblazoned with the front book covers of my first three mystery novels!  (The Presley Plot, Murder on Maiden Lane, and Devil’s Cove.)  Thank you, Kevin!  The shirts were very cool… very considerate… and very colorful!

Several of my blog followers have asked about my upcoming trip to Detroit.  We had to cancel the trip, mainly because people are moving out of the city in record numbers.  (Motown has become LessTown!)  Even the schools are falling apart.  Did you know that Detroit kids spend the first two weeks of school studying their Miranda Rights?  What do you think the average Detroit student gets on his or her SAT?  (Drool!)     **The preceding jokes are dedicated to my one and only Detroit friend, Gary Rubenstein!

In conclusion, I would like to remind you that the first novel ever written on a typewriter was….  TOM SAWYER!  (I forget the author’s name.)  I still use an electric typewriter, which is why the neighbors think we have a pet woodpecker.  (No woodpecker jokes, please!)   Have a safe and joyous week!

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

 

 

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

Did you know that this joyous celebration of Daddyhood began in the United States in the early part of the 20th century?  True enough.  The special day was the creation of  Sonora Smart Dodd, who was also a senora.  (A woman of the female persuasion.)  Miss Dodd was looking for a way to compliment Mother’s Day.  (Good idea to compliment both parents.  Think allowance.)  She came up with the idea while she was living in Spokane, Washington, in 1910.  Interestingly, her father was a Civil War veteran and a single parent who raised six children!  (Man, that guy deserves to be celebrated!)

Naturally, Congress resisted the temptation to do something smart and acknowledge fathers, so they defeated 3 or 4 efforts to create a national holiday.  A bill was introduced in Congress in 1913, but it lingered until 1966, when LBJ issued the first presidential proclamation honoring dads.  You heathen Democrats might be interested to know that the holiday was made permanent by a great Republican crook….   Richard Nixon!  President Nixon signed the bill into law in 1972, ushering in decades of bad ties and sweater vests.

So now, as the great Paul Harvey used to say, you know the rest of the story!

And speaking of stories…..  (wasn’t that a good segue?)   THE PRESLEY PLOT and MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE continue to break new publishing barriers and garner fame and fortune for the author.  I also have some VERY exciting news about book number three in the “Adam Gold Mystery Series,” but I’m afraid I must wait until next Sunday to make my grand announcement.  (One last contract to sign.)

The third book is titled, DEVIL’S COVE, and it takes place in the Hill Country of Texas.  I think my fans will love the story, which is based on some bone-chilling events that occurred in this part of the world recently.  The cover is finished, and once again, Rachel Zell, one of America’s most gifted artists, hit a home run.  I absolutely love the front cover, and this time the book will be published in soft cover AND hard cover editions!  I might add that these books will make a lovely gift for that special someone in your life, especially when I autograph them for you!

So what else is new?  Well, I see that the NSA has been snooping around my email and telephone accounts.  (Good luck with that!)  What can I say?  The President promised to have an “open administration,” and sure enough they’ve been opening my email, my telephone records, and my bank accounts!  I’m fed up with the I.R.S., too.  Why isn’t tequila considered a legitimate deduction?  Where’s their patriotic spirit?  (I know where the other spirits went!)  I don’t know, I may have to run for President again.  (I got 2 votes last time.)

In closing, I would like to wish everyone a Happy Father’s Day and remind you that mom’s are just as important.  When I was in Tupelo last month, I went to the Tupelo Hardware Store, which is where Elvis Presley purchased his first guitar in 1945!  The owner told me that Elvis and his mother (Gladys) came in to buy the lad a birthday gift.  Elvis wanted a rifle, but his mother convinced him to buy a guitar.  (She paid $7.75 plus 2% sales tax!)  At first, Elvis tried to hunt with the instrument, but it was difficult to smash rabbits and squirrels with a six-string guitar.  The poor animals kept getting sliced to bits.  (Just kidding here!)  Anyways, you get the point… it takes two to tango.  So God Bless all Dads and Moms!

Y’all keep those cards and letters coming…. and don’t forget that Elvis luvs ya, baby.  And so do I!  Have a great day!

Doc Yanoff