Not to be confused with Dallas, Texas, which is where I am composing this (semi) humorous blog. (Despite the writer’s strike out in La-La Land.) I traveled up yonder for a book signing and cocktail party, and all went well until I was driving back to my hotel. I got pulled over by a female police officer who told me that I was staggering. Apparently I told her that she was also cute. Good thing I ducked. Which reminds me, never order duck at a cocktail party. (You might get stuck with the bill!) Was that a “foul” joke?

I was actually quite sober this past weekend, as I have begun my spring health initiative. Believe it or not, I’ve actually begun to exercise. My doctor told me that walking on a treadmill could add years to my life. The old boy was right. (I feel ten years older already!) Nevertheless, I intend to stick with the program until I lose ten pounds or forget where I put my sneakers.

As you might remember, I recently mailed in my 2022 Tax Return, and I’m proud to report that the I.R.S. has nominated my return for a “Creative Embellishment Award” under the outstanding fiction category. The award comes with a pen that has a lifetime guarantee. (It’s called Sing-Sing!) I don’t care. If I go to prison, I’ll just write a soap opera. Would you like to hear a couple of “bars?” (Hey, there aren’t many good jail jokes.) Anyway, my lawyer, Shifty Sakowitz, says I have nothing to fear. Supposedly, they don’t put many Jewish people in jail. (Because they eat lox. Get it, locks?) God, these jokes are awful!

For those of you who do not read the “society column,” I’d like to mention that our gala birthday dinner (held in honor of Baron Lee and his lovely paramour, the Princess of Portugal) was a smashing success. (meaning that most of the guests were smashed!) We were joined by Mr. Ron Balderach, a prominent and talented architect/builder from San Marcos, and his charming and witty wife, Countess Terri. (We mingle with a lot of royalty, but we still weren’t invited to the recent coronation. Go figure.) I didn’t watch the proceedings, but I did toast Charlie with a couple of glasses of Royal Crown, which was fitting.

Incidentally, the Baron and Princess will soon be off to Scandinavia, but I’m not the wee bit jealous. I will soon be heading for the IKEA store in Round Rock, which is almost the same thing. Maybe better. After all, they don’t have Round Rock Donuts in Norway or Sweden. (I checked) I do hope they have fun. The last time I travelled to that part of the world, I met a great Dane. (No dog jokes, please!) We were also served grilled reindeer in Finland, but I didn’t “Finnish” my meal. (The antlers got stuck in my throat.)

Sales of my new mystery novel, DEAD ENDING, have been marvelous, and so have the reviews. (especially the ones that I wrote.) Those pesky folks from Netflix are anxious to get their greedy little hands on my books, but I don’t expect to hear from them until the Hollywood writer’s strike ends. (Hopefully, the strike will last a couple of years, but I’m not overly optimistic.) In case you’re wondering how much I value the Hollywood connection, and especially television, I would refer you to Newton Minow, recently departed, who was once the Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission. Mr. Minow (who was little fish in a big pond, or shall I say, sewer) was the fellow who describe television as a “vast wasteland.” Amen, Newt.

Some folks have inquired about my next outing, which will be in the lovely month of June. My budget-conscious publicist, Marvin “Wrong-Way” Rabinowitz, has arranged for me and my entourage to spend a week or so in Maui, Hawaii. I’ve been there before (at my youngest daughter’s wedding!) and fell madly in love with the place, so I am quite anxious to dip my toes in the Pacific Ocean again. I will be doing some book stuff, consuming a vast amount of Mai Tai cocktails, and swimming, so I expect to return tan and relaxed. (unless we encounter some volcano trouble, in which case, I shall return red and stiff!)

I inadvertently forgot to include some photographs of the Mayan Dude Ranch last week, so if you scroll down, you will find some photos of the cute little cowgirls that we shared a cabin with. (My grand-daughters, who we now refer to as “Galloping Goldie” and “Fearless Fiona.”)

Here’s hoping that you have a joyous and fun-filled week! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

A “TAXING” TIME OF YEAR!

Yikes, it’s that time of year again! Time to get super-creative and fill out my tax forms. Talk about interesting works of fiction! I hope the INFERNAL REVENUE SERVICE appreciates all of the effort that I put into the tax deduction page. (They’ve never questioned any of my 32 children before, so I think I’m good to go for another year.) In any case, spring has sprung down here in Texas, and I’d like to take a moment to wish all of my loyal blog followers a wonderful holiday season. I hope you had an excellent EASTER, pleasant PASSOVER, or reverent Ramadan.

During this special time in spring, I usually like to make one or two meaningful sacrifices, but I couldn’t find any willing virgins this year and there are no more Aztec Indians living in our neighborhood. Sooooo…. I decided to make a personal sacrifice. I’ve made up my mind not to drink any more alcohol unless I’m alone or with somebody else. Believe it or not, I’ve been sober for 23 days. (Not in a row, since the start of the year.) I see little hope for me, but perhaps I’m being too hard on myself.

We just returned from our annual pilgrimage to the Mayan Dude Ranch in Bandera, Texas. (I knew I’d work in some Indians somehow!) Bandera, as you might know, is the self-proclaimed “Cowboy Capital of Texas.” This year we took BOTH of our granddaughters, Galloping Goldie and Fearless Fiona, and they were mighty cute cowgirls. They love to ride horses, and this part of the Hill Country is especially beautiful during the spring wildflower bloom.

Cowgirl Kellie runs the place, and she does a marvelous job providing lots of good food and entertainment.

Last year, the ranch featured a bareback rider, but the poor lad got a terrible sunburn as he was riding around bareback. (I offered to buy him a shirt… and I even told him a good joke…. “Do you think cowboy clothing is the same thing as ranch dressing?) He didn’t think that was funny either. This year the featured performer was THE world champion roper, who was supposed to do two shows, but he got tied up. (I got that joke from Don “Knotts!”) Ouch.

In addition to the fine entertainment, we took a couple of hayrides across some rugged rattlesnake-infested terrain and participated in an authentic cowboy breakfast. Interestingly, they served beans at every meal, which meant that you could never stand down-wind of any of the young children. (or most of the grownups!) Now I know why there is so much natural gas in the Lone Star State.

Speaking of natural gas….. I will be making a return engagement at the Lakeway Mens’ Breakfast Club on May 24th, and this year’s sermon will be on my brand new mystery novel, titled, DEAD ENDING. My disquisitions are usually well attended, so if you’re planning to come, purchase your tickets early! (You can send me $500 dollars or just show up, since there is no door charge and the event is absolutely free. Entirely up to you.)

Incidentally, DEAD ENDING (the new Adam Gold mystery) is now available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Kindle, and leading bookstores across the country. (and in certain parts of Arkansas.)

The book has already received several rave reviews. (from crazy people) The NYT also gave the book five stars and called it “one of the more readable and clever mysteries of the year.” In their brief synopsis, (which I now will steal) they wrote……. “In this exciting new mystery, Adam Gold, America’s foremost insurance investigator, is forced to match wits with a psychotic antiques dealer who claims to own two priceless Alamo artifacts — Davy Crockett’s rifle and the sword of Colonel William B. Travis. An action-packed investigation leads to a nerve-wracking confrontation with the Mexican Mafia and MS-13, before a memorable climax on the “Highway to Hell,” which runs through the infamous killing fields of South Texas.”

For those of you who have been patiently waiting, I will include a photograph of the book’s front cover, which was designed by one of the leading graphic artists in Texas. More on the book to follow, but for now, I hope you enjoy Gold’s latest adventure. (Details on the Netflix possibility next week!) Until then, be safe and have a wonderful week. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

Well, I told you had too much rum during my last voyage! I plum forgot to include the photographs I took down in the lovely Caribbean islands! If you scroll down, you will see some picturesque photos of St. Vincent (the island, not the saint) and St. Kitts. Better late than never! (There are no nude shots, so don’t get your hopes up!)

AHOY, ye landlubbers! Avast mateys! Shiver my timbers, and so on! You adventurous literary pirate has finally returned to port (after drinking plenty of it!) after a lengthy Caribbean voyage fraught with peril. I can attest that the briny deep was filled with booty (and some shoes, too) and still holds some great treasure. My shipmates and I consumed plenty of Grog during our travels, and I can also attest that this rum drink definitely makes you groggy. (And a little foggy, too!)

I was sailing with my lassie (who is no dog) and a group of scallywags from the northern climes. During our hazy voyage we dropped anchor (mostly in the water) at such ports as St. Kitts, Nevis, St. Vincent, Bequia, and St. Barts. Each port was lovely and the water and weather were perfect. We must have done some laundry during the trip because our captain said we were frequently “three sheets to the wind.”

Between our rum-soaked picnics I managed to conduct a few book signings and was overjoyed to learn that old Adam Gold is quite popular amongst the island literati. (Not to be confused with the island illiterates who were reading James Patterson’s books.)

On the island of Nevis, a remarkable jewel nestled in the northern end of the Lesser Antilles, (Not to be confused with my Aunt Tillie) I ran into a fascinating woman (covered in parrot tattoos!) who owned the one and only bookstore on the island, and guess what? Aye, me bucko, she had two copies of my last mystery novel, titled, CAPONE ISLAND! Well, sir, right then and there I says to myself, “Captain Steve, thar ain’t nuthin lesser about this place!”

The dear lady was quite charming, and if she had more teeth, I would have asked her to lunch. (even though she might have been a hooker at one time in life.) How do I know that? Well, she kept saying, “Yo Ho Ho!” She also had a tattoo of a sperm whale on her thigh. (There’s a clue for you.) One last clue, she was dating a character she referred to as an “old seaman.” If you ask me, she was referring to his testosterone level. Just saying.

After our voyage, we had the great pleasure of attending my nephew’s wedding, which was held at the gorgeous Mizner Country Club. The bride and groom (Melani and Jonathan) made a spectacular couple, and we welcome aboard the newest rendition of Mr. and Mrs. Yanoff. Mazel tov, my sweet mates!

And now for a brief literary update…. my prestigious publisher is feverishly working on the front cover of my soon-to-be-released mystery masterpiece, titled, DEAD ENDING. The book should be released in late March or early April, so save up your shekels for another great read.

Alas, it’s time for my daily nap. After a week of drinking grog, I am still groggy! And a little foggy! Also, I have not fully recovered from two weeks of swimming and snorkeling, which can sap a pirate of his strength if he’s not careful. (Of course, I never got too worn out to stare at those semi-clad French babes on St. Barts!) Yes, dear friends, the life of a (semi) famous author is never easy!

Take good care of yourselves, and we shall chat again soon. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

MERRY CHRISTMAS… HAPPY HANUKKAH… AND KINDLY KWANZAA! Did I forget anybody? Oh yeah, those damn atheists. Well, they can go to hell. On second thought, they can’t. (They don’t believe in heaven or hell) One of my neighbors claims to be an atheist. I asked him if he really was an atheist and he said, “I swear to God.” (Go figure.) In any case, anyone who doesn’t believe in hell should have been in Texas last week. OMG, was it cold! (I saw a chicken crossing the street with its capon!) Get it, “cape on?” Man, that was really a “fowl” joke. But it was cold for a few days. I actually had to get my mother-in-law, I mean, my wife’s mink coat, out of storage. Fortunately, the temperature will be in the seventies by the end of this week. (I’m already in my seventies!)

Naturally the temperature dropped to freezing just long enough to break two of my pool pipes, but that’s the cost of living in paradise. (It’s also the reason I’m a little late with this post) Of course, I’ve also been celebrating a little too much, but I’m beginning to think that tequila might be a worthy substitute for hot chicken soup. My wife enjoyed our family get-together, but she wasn’t thrilled with the gifts I bought her. She told me she needed a little “pick me up,” so I got her a vacuum cleaner. Her response? “You got me a Hoover? Damn.” Get it, “Hoover Dam?” I just can’t “hold back” these bad jokes.

As some of you may have read in my last newsletter, my overpaid literary agent, Swifty Saperstein, arranged for me to fly into a rather volatile war zone to receive a prominent writing award. I was tempted to go, even though the entire place was filled with violent criminals and gun-toting lunatics. However, after careful consideration (my insurance company refused to increase the limits of my life insurance policy) I decided to stay home and visit New York City at a later date. (Ten to twenty years from now) Still, I would like to thank the judges of “The New York City Big Book Awards” for choosing my new history book, titled, GONE BEFORE GLORY, as one of the best history books of 2022.

For those of you who have absolutely nothing to look forward to, cheer up, my new “Adam Gold Mystery,” which is titled, DEAD ENDING, is at the publisher and should be available across the free world sometime in March of 2023. I’m not permitted to divulge the plot, but I think you’re going to love this story. I’ve gotten a couple of “pre-publication reviews” and they were raving about the book. (They weren’t crazy, but they did rave quite a bit) You don’t have to be crazy to love my books, but it does help.

February is shaping up to be a rather interesting month, as I am once again scheduled to do several book signings and a lecture or two down in the Caribbean Basin. According to Swifty, my first stop is St. Barts, which is always a fun place to visit. (Except for the fact that most folks speak French.) I do not speak French, but I do know how to French Kiss which is infinitely more important. When I tried to “French Kiss” my wife, she slapped me! (She told me that she didn’t like my tongue-in-cheek attitude!) Which reminds me, they’re making another “Jaws” movie. This one is about an old shark. (It’s called, “GUMS!”) That jokes bites.

If you will take the time to scroll down, you will see some photographs of my recent trip to Normandy, France. Not to be too heavy, but it was the sacrifice of these incredibly brave Americans that won the war for the good guys and made everything possible for our generation. God bless each and every one of them, and as Tiny Tim said in “A Christmas Carol,” God bless us all… we are sooooooo lucky to live the good old U.S.A.

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff (P.S. I must be getting uglier in my old age. This holiday season my wife hung me up and kissed the mistletoe!)

Well, as usual, my earlier blog post was only half-published. (Perhaps because it was written by a half-wit?) In any case, I was about to discuss my Thanksgiving Day dinner when I was rudely interrupted. In order to get my wife in a proper festive mood, I offered to buy her a Plymouth. (Hey, Plymouth rocks!) I don’t think she fully appreciated my generous gesture, because she gave me the bird! (No, not the one on the plate) Then she threatened to knock the stuffing out of me! We pilgrims have not made much progress. (You’ll be thankful that I have no more lame holiday puns!

And speaking of joyous occasions…. allow me to wish Ms. Christine Nickles (one of my oldest and dearest friends) a very happy birthday! Christine and I were partners in crime during my twenty-year stint in New York City. (When I was working in the high risk insurance business.) She is the lovely lass who introduced me to Bison steaks and some very good Merlot.

Speaking of New York City, I am proud to report that my recent literary masterpiece, titled, GONE BEFORE GLORY, was recently chosen as a “2022 DISTINGUISHED FAVORITE” in this year’s New York City Big Book Award Contest! The substantial prize money (and all of this year’s royalties) will be donated to some very worthy charities, so if you’re looking for a unique Christmas gift (and want to do a good deed) now is the time to order any one of my brilliant books.

Time to watch the news, just to see what I missed last week. Which reminds me, why do they call it a TV set when you only have one? Seems a bit odd to me.

If you’re tempted to run off to the gym, to work off some of those pumpkin pie calories, just remember that being healthy is merely the slowest way of dying. Just saying.

In closing, I have a great deal to be thankful for, including some loyal blog followers. Enjoy your upcoming week and stay happy and healthy. (outside the darn gym!)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

HAPPY (albeit late) THANKSGIVING! I hope that you and yours had a marvelous day together. As the above blog title suggests, I spent the holiday down in the Caribbean paradise of the Turks and Caicos Islands. We had a great time, but to be perfectly honest, I did not meet any Turks. (Nor did I run into a single Caicos!) Nevertheless, the TCI is a stunningly beautiful place, and the beaches are among the best in the world. We were fortunate enough to stay at Grace Bay Beach, which has to be seen to be fully appreciated. (Photos will be attached!) The Seven Stars Resort was our home base, and that too was lovely. Due to my literary fame (and pure luck) we were given a huge room upgrade, overlooking the beach. Lots of beach, babes, and bikinis. My kind of vacation, if I remember correctly. (A bit too much rum from time to time!)

For those who care, the Turks and Caicos is actually an archipelago of 40 low-lying islands in the Atlantic Ocean. (Southeast of the Bahamas) The place is governed, more or less, by the British and the locals, who are both exceedingly friendly. Due to its remote location, everything is imported, which results in higher prices. (but still not a rip-off like some places in the Caribbean

Well, there’s thirteen hundred and fifty-two guitar pickers in Nashville (according to John Sebastian of the Lovin’ Spoonful) and about as many authors in Austin, Texas. Therefore, I was quite honored to be featured in this year’s gala literary event, known throughout the free world (and parts of Arkansas) as the “EVENING WITH THE AUTHORS.” The annual event, sponsored by some very generous Texans living in Lockhart, was held to raise some needed funds for the town’s beautiful (and historic) library. The library’s name is the Eugene Clark Library, named in honor of (one guess!) ….. Dr. Eugene Clark, who left the town to study in London and Vienna, returning in 1897 to open a practice in San Antonio. When he developed an incurable medical problem, he dictated in his will that $10,000 be used to build a library and lyceum in Lockhart.

And by coincidence….. this year’s event raised precisely $10,000 for the library! (Kind of spooky, in a good way, eh?)

Most of the “Adam Gold Mysteries” were available for purchase, as well as all of my brilliant non-fiction history books. I don’t mean to brag, but my books were flying off the shelves. (I still don’t understand why they were thrown out!) Just teasing. Sales were, how shall I put this, robust. And before I forget, I would personally like to thank Nita McBride and Dianne Stevenson and all the other marvelous ladies of Lockhart for putting this valuable event together. Well done, ladies!

And since we’re on the subject of libraries….. Please mark your calendars that I shall be a featured author at this year’s gala literary event in the city of Bee Cave, Texas. The good folks of Lakeway and the surrounding areas are holding an event called “SPEED DATING WITH LOCAL AUTHORS.” The up close and personal event will be held on Wednesday, November 2, 2022 at the City Hall Building. (starting at twelve noon.) Admission is free, and you will be able to purchase an autographed copy of my prize-winning masterpiece, titled, GONE BEFORE GLORY. Believe it or not, you will also be able to vote! (Kindly spell my last name correctly… if you choose to cast a “write-in” ballot.) Remember, Yanoff is spelled with two “Fs” (Which, coincidentally, are the grades I got in English and Spelling!)

By the way, I am not the only world-renowned author that will be featured in the weeks and months ahead. The fabulous authoress Terri Schexnayder will be holding book signings (for her much praised book, “Selling Radio & Raising Katie in 1970s Austin,” on the following dates: 10/20 10/22 10/23 11/12 and 11/19. You can get the times and places simply by going to her website or contacting Terri at: texnayder@gmail.com

For those of you that inquired about my recent trip to Port Aransas, allow me to say that it was a complete success. (Meaning I didn’t get lost or miss the ferry to Rockport!) As you might know, I went down to South Texas to attend a family reunion. Not mine. My wife’s family. (Unfortunately, most of my family will not be eligible for parole for another five years.) Just kidding. Ten years. In any case, it was great fun and the water and weather were perfect.

Finally, if you read the New York Times (which I don’t suggest) you might have noticed a H-U-G-E article about yours truly winning a major literary award in the city. Well, I’m happy to report that the rumors are true, but I’m still debating whether I want to risk my life by attending the awards ceremony. (I suggested they keep the prize money and hand out bullet-proof vests! I haven’t heard back from the judges.) If I decide to go to NYC, and you would like to be named in my will, please send me a postcard!)

In closing, I would like to urge you to support your local library. (But do NOT spend too much time looking at those National Geographic Issues about you-know-where!) Trust me, you might go blind. (my Mom told me that) AND…. more importantly…. always remember the words of the immortal author and historian, Studs Terkel, who wrote: “All you need in life is truth and beauty, and you can find both at the library.”

Have a safe and happy week, and if you scroll down, you might just find a few photos of my recent trip to the British Cotswold area. (The church photo, if it actually appears, is the church they used in the television production and movies for “Downton Abbey.”) Take care and cheerio,

Doc Yanoff

Well, my dear friends, the time is fast approaching for the most prestigious literary event in the great state of Texas! (Perhaps in the Free World!) Of course, I’m referring to Lockhart’s “Evening With The Authors,” a charitable event designed to support the town’s 121-y ear-old Eugene C. Clark Library. This once-in-a-lifetime gathering of some of the best authors in Texas (and me) will be sponsored by Barnes and Noble, who will be selling books (autographed by the author!) at a somewhat discounted price. In my case, I might have to pay someone to take a book!

The event will be held (at the library) on the evening of October 1st, from 6:00 to 8:30 p.m. During this time, guests will have an opportunity to visit with the authors, who will be more than happy to sign any books that are purchased. If all this excitement becomes too much to handle, guests will also be able to purchase appetizers, desserts, and beverages. (Including some lovely “adult beverages,” such as wine and beer.)

By the way, the shindig is being sponsored by the Barnes and Noble store at Brodie Lane, so if you’re ever in the neighborhood, you might want to stop by and thank them for their wonderful support of the library. (Personally, I would buy several “Adam Gold Mystery” books, but that’s just me!) They also have (or can quickly order) copies of my new non-fiction history masterpiece, GONE BEFORE GLORY.

INCIDENTALLY…. Lockhart just happens to be the “Barbecue Capital of the World,” so you might want to arrive a little early and sample some of their incredible food. The best 3 joints, (in no particular order) are Black’s Barbecue, Kreuz Market, and Smitty’s Market. Hard to believe, but this one little town has 3 of the most scrumptious barbecue joints in Texas! (Save room for some blackberry cobbler!)

Speaking of books… I’d like to mention that the extremely talented Terri Schexnayder has just published a marvelous new book (something of a memoir) and will be hosting a book signing party at Tres Amigos Restaurant (7535 E Hwy. 290) in Austin on Saturday, October 8th. Terri will be there, signing books and holding court, from 1 to 4 p.m. If you find yourself in the vicinity of this charming eatery, please stop by and take a look at her literary work. (Trust me, it will be worth the effort!)

Finally, as some of you might have read in the NYT, yours truly has just won another major literary award for GONE BEFORE GLORY, and I will soon be obliged to travel up to the Big Apple to receive my humongous check and some great pastrami. (More details to follow in the weeks ahead, but this should be fun.) My overly generous publisher is going to give away some free books to mark the event, so keep in touch by reading this blog. (or sending some pastrami)

Alas, I must prepare for my grand-daughter’s soccer game, so I shall say farewell until next time. Just to make your day, I have included (I hope) some recent photographs from my trip to Italy. (Most of these pictures were taken in Positano.) Have a safe and smile-laden week! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

BUON GIORNO, my dear friends. Come stay oggi? Well, as you can see, I am still speaking (or more precisely, typing) in Italian. Perche? Because I have recently returned from a lovely 3-week adventure in grand old Europe! (I call it “grand” because that’s what it costs per day!) Alas, paradise does not come cheap. We had the privilege of spending one week in Rome and Positano, followed by a week-long river cruise in France, then 5 nights in vibrant London, England. Needless to say, we’re exhausted….. in a good way. We are also glad go be home and glad to be back to “normal” food and wine consumption. (My liver was about to charge me with abuse!)

Since many of my loyal blog followers are interested in travel, I will go into exceedingly boring detail of my adventures in the weeks ahead. But for now, I shall present a rough outline of my itinerary. (despite the fact that we were hardly “roughing it.”) Our outing began in The Eternal City (i.e., Rome) which should actually be called the Infernal City, due to the traffic. OMG, talk about crazy drivers! The traffic lights, as you’ve probably heard, are not to be taken literally. The various colors (especially red) are meant to be mere suggestions.

After surviving Rome, we drove down (with a driver) to Positano, which is the jewel of the Amalfi Coast. Since we couldn’t find a Motel 6, we were forced to stay in the magnificent Il San Pietro di Positano Hotel. (We are now up to two grand per day!) The hotel, though pricey, is truly beautiful. Our modest villa suite overlooked the gorgeous Tyrrhenian Sea, which is part of the Mediterranean, and most closely associated with the Etruscans of Italy. (Amazingly, the view was free, but staring was discouraged.)

Once we consumed our fill of GREAT Italian food (mainly at my favorite restaurant, Taverna del Leone), we drove back to Rome (with another driver) and then flew up to Paris, France. Here we hopped aboard a charming river ship called the Joie de Vivre (Joy of Life) and sailed north up the lovely Seine River. Along the way, we stopped at Monet’s farmhouse to admire his stunning paintings. As you might know, Monet was a fabulous impressionist. (Not as good as Rich Little or Dana Carvey, but still up there.) Claude’s farmhouse still retains quite a bit of charm, and if you look closely at his work, you can see elements of greatness… and maybe a hint of Bob Ross.

The next day was spent in the Palace of Versailles, which was a slightly bigger house. This humble abode (10 miles south of Paris) was the modest residence of Louis XIII, Louis XIV, Louis XV, and of course, Louis XVI and his cake-loving paramour, Marie Antoinette. The last tenants were a bit too lavish for the French bourgeoisie, and they eventually spent a tad too much on themselves while the rest of Paris starved. They were not stupid monarchs, but alas, they lost their heads. (Literally!) In fact, you might say they had a very close shave on the infamous guillotine.

The absolute highlight of our voyage was a day-long visit to the Normandy Beaches, which was simply overwhelming. The bravery of the American, English, and Canadian soldiers is on full display, and quite moving. Staring down the high cliffs along the Pointe du Hoc (a 130 foot cliff overlooking the English Channel) made me realize just how courageous and daring the U.S. Rangers were, and it was a sight I will never forget. Over 135 Army Rangers were killed on or near the cliffs, many of them shot down while protecting their comrades who were landing on Utah and Omaha Beaches. (Which we also visited.) What a truly memorable day!

After France, we flew over the channel to London and spent 5 glorious nights at the Egerton House Hotel in the heart of Knightsbridge. (In my humble opinion, the BEST hotel in the city.) The Egerton House is managed by the brilliant, charming, and capable Michelle Devlin, who has assembled a remarkable team of professionals. Trust me, this is the place to stay in London Town. (Most comfortable beds in the universe!)

While becoming regulars at the Brompton Pub, we managed to traipse around the English countryside and visit the interesting city of Oxford (where I was once asked to teach a course on pub crawling at the local university) and then visit the Cotswolds. (which were quite charming) Between pints of beer, we also managed to consume three (that’s right, three) Indian meals in London. OMG, what a delightful, if fattening, experience that was. (My favorite Indian eatery was called Dishroom, which is not to be missed!)

Well, my dear friends, jet lag is tugging at my pajamas, so I must take my leave. (I only got 10 hours of sleep last night) Before I go, let me remind you that today is September 11th, and as a former New Yorker, and proud American, I’d like to salute all of the amazing heroes (and fellow citizens) who sacrificed so much on that awful day. God bless the USA!

As they say, there’s no place like home!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff