PIRATES OF PERCHANCE. (Chapter 4) “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem, Mon!”

Greetings from the warm and lovely port of Castries, St. Lucia.  Most tourists come here to get “Castrated,” which in this case, means a relaxed Caribbean feeling.  (I hope!)  We arrived in port at 8:00 a.m., and the weather was perfect… Sunny and 83 degrees.  St. Lucia is a sovereign nation, but still part of the Commonwealth of England.  I suppose its most famous landmark would be the breathtaking mountain peaks on the west coast.  (Locally, these are known as the Gros and Petit Pitons, which are the rocky peaks that soar over a pristine beach.)

Being the insipid, I mean, intrepid explorers that we are, we hopped aboard a small motor boat and drove up the west coast, searching for the island’s most idyllic beach.  We actually found several idyllic beaches, and stopped for a marvelous lunch at Soufriere Bay.  After chowing down on some Caribbean rock lobsters, we drove up to the Morne Coubaril Estate, which is a wonderfully restored 17th-century plantation.  The best part about this stop was tasting some of the fiery Creole hot sauces produced on the grounds.  (Well, not really on the ground.  They now use tables.)

Next stop was Landera Resort, where our catamaran dropped anchor and we got to do some snorkeling.  Most of the water surrounding St. Lucia is clear, warm. and turquoise.  Perfect for swimming, snorkeling, or scuba diving.  Some of our shipmates opted to go whale watching, which had nothing to do with the women on the Carnival Ship parked next to us.  These were the gentle giants that live in the area, which include pilot whales, sperm whales (no jokes, please!) and humpbacks.  They also have a large population of dolphins, which you might want to see on porpoise.  Just saying.

To be perfectly honest, St. Lucia is all about the water.  Marigot Bay, where most ships stop, is somewhat developed but still very “touristy.”  If you visit, I suggest you hop on a boat and putter around the island.  You can also make a stop at the iconic Pitons, if mountains are your thing.  Next week we will be “broadcasting” from a very special place…  Bridgetown, Barbados.

So what else is new?  Well, as many of you know, the newest “Adam Gold Mystery” is now available throughout the North American continent and in most Central and South American countries.  The book is titled, CAPONE ISLAND, and so far, sales have been exceptional.  (Except in Venezuela.)  If you’re an Adam Gold fan, and let’s face it, who isn’t, then you will absolutely adore this new tale.  You can order a copy from Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Kindle, Nook, and leading bookstores across the fruited plain.  (You can still order a book if your plain has no fruit.)

****SPECIAL BLOG FOLLOWER OFFER:   If you order a copy of CAPONE ISLAND and leave a nice review on Amazon I will send you a complimentary, autographed copy of the book!    (So what are you waiting for?)

Well, what else is new?  I spent a marvelous afternoon in Wimberley, Texas, last week.  My destination was Jacob’s Well Natural Area, which features one of the deepest underwater cave systems in the state.  The main shaft plunges down 137 feet, which is quite a drop.  (At least 8 people have died while trying to explore the underground network.)  Risk-takers like to climb up a cliff and jump down into a 12-foot gap, but my life insurance policy prohibited me from taking the plunge.  If you’re anxious to get the shaft, the entry fee is $9.00 for adults.

I would normally write another paragraph or two, but I am about to be interviewed by a Florida radio station.  (Our pre-recorded conversation will be broadcast next month.)  I will post the dates and details when they become available.  We will be chatting about CAPONE ISLAND, which I visited last week during a stop in Boca Raton.  If you would like to see what the island actually looks like, just “Google” a place called, Deerfield Island State Park.  (The name that the state has given the island)  I was the only person on the island, and to be honest, I would not like to be there after dark.  (Too many snakes and gators!)

Well, dear friends, have a safe and superlative week, and we shall meet again in the not-too-distant future.  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

PIRATES OF PERCHANCE. (Chapter 3) “Beach Blanket Bingo!”

Well, as you might have guessed, one of the more popular games down in Antigua & Barbuda is beach blanket bingo, but if I were you I’d never play this game on a “clothing optional beach.”  (i.e., anywhere there is nudity)  Why?  Because when somebody gets “bingo,” they jump up and scream, and a curious bystander can get seriously injured.  (Think of flailing body parts!)  In any case, I was not severely injured, but I did get a black eye.  (Last time I stand that close to a naked Antiguan!)

Our lovely vessel dropped anchor in Heritage Bay at 7:30  a.m., and shortly thereafter (at noon) we dropped by a wonderful little place called Jolly Beach, which is truly beautiful.  (Check out the photos at the end of this semi-brilliant blog post)  We were the guests of a local hotel and after signing a few thousand copies of TURBULENT TIMES (actually, 17 copies, but who’s counting?) we had the rest of the day to ourselves… and we certainly made the most of it.  The hotel was kind enough to supply a gourmet luncheon of local treats, plus an unlimited amount of Caribe beer and rum.  (After two hurricanes, I was feeling no pain.)

Aside from ruining your liver, you can tour the island, which contains some enchanting forests and is surrounded by azure waters.  The most famous (previous to my visit) person associated with Antigua is Admiral Horatio Nelson, the father of David and Ricky Nelson.  (I think)  The capital, St. John’s, is also a nice spot to dine and wine, but make sure you bring plenty of booty.  (Ain’t nothin’ cheap in this part of the world)

Most of the tours stop at a place called Nelson’s Dockyard, which offers a certain amount of appeal, and is still in use today.  If you’re lucky, you will then be driven way up a mountain to a spot known as Shirley Heights, where you can gaze across the sea while sipping another rum drink.  (Here you will be 446 feet above sea level, perched on some questionable cliffs… so make sure you order that rum drink!)

Due to my international celebrity status, and a small bribe,  we were invited to have lunch at Eric Clapton’s villa, but our schedule did not allow a visit.  Just as well. I understand that he was back in London with some chick named Layla.  We did make time to use his pool and grab a souvenir towel, but it wasn’t worth the detour. (Or the modest fine)  Next week, or the week after, we shall be re-living our stop in St. Lucia, which was simply luscious!

So what else is new?  Well, my trip to Granbury was a huge success.  We sold and signed many books, and more importantly, made a lot of new friends.  If you’re planning a visit, make sure to stop at the Historic Granbury Square (which look round to me) and the charming 1886 Granbury Opera House.  (Which has recently been renovated)  Owing to my vast historical knowledge, I ushered our party over to the Acton Cemetery to see the grave of Elizabeth Crockett, the widow of Texas hero  Davy Crockett, who died at the Alamo.

If you’re so inclined, you can also stop for a cold beer and some hot polka music at Ketzler’s Schnitzel Haus and Biergarten.  (Don’t have too many beers, or you’ll really get inclined!)  After you fortify yourself with some strong ale, head over to the Nutt House (Yes, that’s the real name) and sign up for the Granbury Ghosts and Legends Tour.  (The town is filled with spirits!)

Finally, I’d like to thank Ms. Terry Lewis, of the Bee Cave Public Library, for inviting me to be a featured author at this weekend’s Spring Fest in the Galleria at Lake Travis.  I had a marvelous time and met a lot of very nice people, and the weather was simply superb.  (All of my mystery novels and both of my history books were available for purchase, which made my visit even better!)  This was a terrific event and I hope to be back next year, so thanks again, Terry!

Well, all you pet lovers, I shall leave you with this thought…..  If the situation were turned around, I doubt very seriously if one cat would take in 26 old ladies.  Meow, meow.  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

THE PIRATES OF PERCHANCE. (Chapter 2) “The Tortola and the Hare”

So, if you’re familiar with Aesop’s Fable, “The Tortoise and the Hare,” you might recall that it involves a race of sorts between a turtle and a rabbit.  (In real life, the turtle might have run out of gas… and gone to a “shell station!”)  Sorry about that, I couldn’t resist!  Anyway, the reason I used this title is because while we were on the lovely island of Tortola, we found a “restaurant” (i.e., snack bar) that featured an unusual Caribbean soup….. comprised of tender morsels of turtle and rabbit!  Naturally, I had to taste the dang concoction, and surprisingly, it was actually quite good.  However, our vegan guide did not seem to enjoy the dish.  (I should not have referred to the dish as “pet soup.”  My bad.)

Well, other than the soup, Road Town, the capital, was a very interesting port.  This was my fourth visit, but I still find the island enchanting.  Tortola is spread across miles of gleaming azure waters, and is the largest island of the archipelago we call the British Virgin Islands.  Sailors and pirates have been skirting its shores for centuries, including my two favorite rascals, Captain Kidd and Blackbeard.  Sugar cane used to be the main cash crop, but after they ran off the pirates and the locals started to going to San Juan Community College, tourism took over.

Living on Tortola can be a wonderful experience, but you will have to put up with a major hurricane every now and then.  By the way, in the event of a tornado or hurricane, always do what I do.  I always put a pack of hot dogs in my pants pocket. (Which, of course, is where you’re supposed to keep your wiener.)  Why do I do this?  Because the search dogs will find you first.  Think about it.

Anyway, after a scenic drive along Ridge Road, we came to one of my favorite beaches on the island… Cane Garden Bay.  Unfortunately, the last hurricane caused some serious damage, and the beach, while still inviting, was virtually destroyed by the tremendous wave action that hit the island.  If you go to Tortola, keep in mind that you can take two wonderful excursions… to Virgin Gorda and the Baths, and to Jost Van Dyke.  I’ve been to both, and they are definitely worth the time and effort it takes to get there.

Next week we will be “broadcasting” from Antigua, so keep that bottle of rum handy.  So what else is new?  Well, if you’re one of my groupies, please keep the following dates in mind…..  today and tomorrow I can be heard at the 2019 Thriller and Mystery Internet Conference.  (But the sponsor charges a small fee)  Then, on Saturday, April 27, I will be featured at the Springfest Author Festival in Lakeway.  I will be in the main tent, selling and signing books, from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.  If you’re in the area, stop by and say hello.  Finally, on May 29-31, I’ve been invited to make an appearance at the New York Book Expo at the Javits Center.  This event will be hard to attend, as I will be celebrating a birthday on May 29th.  (Since the party is in my honor, I’ll probably have to go!)

I’m looking forward to a great book signing event up in Granbuy this coming week, and I will keep you posted about the dates, times, and locations of their little book festival.  Until we meet again, let me wish all of my Christian followers and friends a joyous Palm Sunday.  In concert with the spirit of the season, so to speak, allow me to leave you with some “deep thoughts.”

The hardest thing about “everything happens for a reason” is figuring out the reason!

If a woman starts a sentence with, “I find it funny how,” you can bet your life she doesn’t find it funny!

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything~  (Shania or Mark Twain, I forget which one.)

Have a great and gargantuan week!  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

THE PIRATES OF PERCHANCE. (Chapter 1) “Why Does The Ocean Wave?”

Ahoy, mates and mateys, and welcome to another thrilling adventure, featuring your old pirate buddy, Captain Kidder.  (a/k/a Doc Yanoff)  As you can tell from today’s blog title, this next book is loosely based upon the comic opera known as the PIRATES OF PENZANCE.  This charming opera was written by Gilbert & Sullivan, better known as Gilbert Gottfried & Ed Sullivan.  (Just joking)  It was actually written by W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan, and premiered at the Fifth Avenue Theatre in New York City on December 31, 1879.  (Man, that must have been one hell of a New Year’s Eve party!)

Today’s blog, which is obviously more interesting than that ancient opera, marks the beginning of a fascinating tale of high adventure on the dark and stormy seas of the Caribbean.  (Actually, the only dark & stormy thing I saw was my rum cocktail, which was called a Dark & Stormy.  Rather fitting name, since it got a little dark after two cocktails, and then my stomach got stormy!)  In any case, we shall be focused on my recent voyage to the Caribbean islands found between the Greater and Lesser Antilles.  (No, they’re not called the Mediocre islands!)  Have you heard of my Aunt Tilly?  Well, she has nothing to do with this blog, so let’s move on…..

My goals on this particular voyage were twofold:  1.  Sell & autograph as many books as possible.  2.  Endear myself to the indigent people of the Caribbean basin.(Oops, make that “indigenous” people)  So, did I succeed?  Yes and no.  I sold a lot of books, but I did not gain many followers among the heathen savages that we encountered.  No idea why.  Most of the semi-naked natives had an “attitude” about waiting on me hand and foot.  (Although some of them simply used a middle finger from time to time.)  Still, our voyage of enlightenment was a huge success, even though I had to return the lovely couple I purchased on St. Lucia.

Our trip began in lovely San Juan, Puerto Rico, which really did look great.  The entire area encompassing Old Town has been cleaned up from last year’s devastating hurricane, and the good folks of Puerto Rico were exceeding gracious to us.  (Even after I used some of my oldest jokes on them!)  We spent two days at the Marriott Hotel on the north shore, and it was simply wonderful.  (Lovely accommodations, good food, and a marvelous beach.)  The towels were a little thick, but we managed to fold a couple into our duffle bags.  (I’m talking about a couple of towels, not a couple of tourists.)

San Juan is most famous for mojito, mofongo, and salsa.  (Sounds like a law firm!)  Each is delicious in its own way, and when you’re done stuffing your face, you can take a nice long walk around the historic town of Old San Juan.  (We chose to travel by Segway, but after running over several of the locals, we decided to walk a spell.)  You enter this section of the city through San Juan Gate, an impressive remnant of the walls that once encircled the area.  Once you’re inside, you can view the vast Fort San Cristobal, the largest fortress built in the New World.

If you’ve never been to Puerto Rico, I suggest a visit to the Bacardi Rum Factory (which you will enjoy, but not remember in any detail) and a visit to El Yunque Rainforest.  We once toured the rainforest with Barbara and Max Talbott, and after we saved them from a local tribe of headhunters, we marveled at the lush 28,000 acres of the park.  (The park contains 75 percent of the virgin forests in the country, but very few other virgins.)  Still, if you enjoy flora and fauna (I liked Flora the best) you will be intrigued by the forest’s 240 tree species and its 150 types of ferns.  (Fern was also nice!)  Well, enough about those questionable virgins…

Let’s get back to pirates…  What do you call a ship that’s twitching at the bottom of the ocean?  (A “nervous wreck!”)   How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced?  (A “buck-an-ear!”)   Last one…  (thank God)…  Why can’t pirates play cards on a ship?  (The captain was standing on the deck!)

Hey, come on, some of those jokes were passable!  All right, maybe not.  So what else is new?  Well, as you might have read in the NYT, my new mystery book (CAPONE ISLAND) received a wonderful pre-publication review.  The reviewer, who I did NOT bribe, wrote the following:  “Buckle your seat belts, folks.  Adam Gold,(America’s favorite insurance investigator) is heading down the highway to hell again, and this time he’s involved with Big Al’s treasure and a band of ruthless Cuban spies.  CAPONE ISLAND is the new book, and it is destined to become one of the best-selling mysteries of the year.  Look for a May release date.”

Well, I don’t have any idea how well the book will do, but I can assure you that you will enjoy the story.  The manuscript is undergoing some final “cleansing,” so I will keep you informed of the actual publication date.  In the meantime, if you will scroll down, you will see some recent photos of my Caribbean outing.  (I wasn’t actually “outed,” but you know what I mean.)

Have yourself a marvelous week and we shall meet again soon…   (The next stop on our voyage was Road Town, Tortola, which is part of the British Virgin Islands.  (However, as before, I did not meet any virgins!)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

 

 

 

TEQUILA SUNRISE!

Well, thanks to that damn Mexican fluid I was actually up at sunrise, and much to my surprise, the sun actually does come up before 9 a.m.  Who knew?  Anyway, as you can tell, I’ve been on the party circuit again.  Last night I found myself on 6th Street in Austin.  (Not literally!)  I was attending a birthday party, and I made several discoveries…  Tequila won’t solve all of your problems, but it’s worth a shot.  (Maybe three shots)  Also, if you want to make some memories, just add some tequila.  (I hate those gender-neutral bathrooms)

In any case, last night was very special for me.  I went to the Parkside Bar & Restaurant to celebrate Miss Helen’s 95th birthday!  Miss Helen is my son-in-law’s grandmother, and one of the most incredible ladies on earth.  She survived 6 different concentration camps during the Holocaust, moved to America and raised a large family, lived by herself for 20 years in Pittsburgh, and then moved to Austin when she was 90 years old!  (And she’s still as sharp as a tack!)  I will try to post a photo of me and Miss Helen at the bottom of this blog-post.  Miss Helen, as you might imagine, is a living link to history, at it was truly an honor to be invited to her gala celebration.

And speaking of honors (though much less important) I would like to thank the Cuero City Book Club for inviting me to speak at their spring luncheon last week.  If you’re looking for small town Texas charm, then Cuero is the place to go.  It’s about 98 miles south of Austin, and has a population of about 7,000 folks.  Cuero is best known for being a stop on the famed Chisholm Trail, and from 1867 to 1884, nine million head of cattle were driven through or around the city.  (Just the heads, not the whole body.)  After they cleaned up the mess, the city became a popular tourist stop.  I was in town to discuss my upcoming mystery, CAPONE ISLAND.  The book should be available to the public, and most incarcerated persons, sometime in early May.

Incidentally, as you might have noticed by now, I have not started a new travel adventure book.  Why?  Because I haven’t quite finished with my last trip to Italy.  I have recently been informed that shortly after my last archaeological visit to Pompeii, the local lads made an astonishing discovery!  Our friendly Italian colleagues found an amazing fresco of Narcissus, the Greek hunter who fell in love with his own image!  (God, I can so identify with that!)  The beautiful fresco has been covered in volcanic ash for almost 2,000 years, but it’s in remarkably good condition.

From what I understand, the fresco was found in one of the city’s grand villas, along with some glass containers, a bronze funnel, and some clay amphorae, used for storing olive oil and wine.  Mt. Vesuvius, if you recall, belched up a few million tons of fire, pumice, and ash back in 79 A.D.  Recent excavations have produced some startling new items, and this piece of art is certainly one of the most important.

By the way, the word “narcissism,” which I am quite familiar with, comes directly from old Narcissus.  Some of the synonyms are vanity, self-love, conceit, and egomania.  (Yeah, I know, these words also describe some authors!)  So, one might ask, are there any good narcissism jokes?  How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  Just one — because the whole world revolves around him!

Just for the record, Narcissus rejected the affections of a nymph named Echo. (Who was probably a nympho-maniac who repeated herself a lot!)  This rejection seems to have angered the goddess Nemesis, who arranged for him to fall in love with his own image in the water.  (This was a bad reflection on Narcissus)  Poor Narcissus subsequently wasted away, staring at himself in wonderment.  (I had a similar experience the last time I shaved.)  Thus, we see why staring is now considered rude behavior.

Well, that concludes today’s lecture on ancient Greek myths.  (Mainly Myth Echo and Myth Nemesis.)  Prior to my departure, I would like to thank another legend, Mr. Tim McCloskey, for his gracious hospitality last weekend in Boerne, Texas.  We spent a marvelous Saturday touring around my old stomping grounds and visiting some dear old friends.  Boerne is booming and the town looks great.  (A lot of new and interesting breweries, too!)  Looking forward to our return trip this summer.

Well, time to do some reading…  I just started a new book, “TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD,” and it’s quite interesting.  The main character is a lawyer who has trouble passing the bar…  God knows I’ve been down that road!

Have a safe and exuberant week!  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff                **** PHOTOS ATTACHED ****

 

 

 

GULLIBLE TRAVELERS. (Chapter 8) “Prometheus Unsound”

My sincere apologies to Mr. Percy Bysshe Shelley, the author of “Prometheus Unbound,” a rather dreary four-act lyrical drama dealing with the Greek mythological figure Prometheus.  (Who defied the gods and gave humanity fire, which in turn led to “civilization.”)  However, I needed a title for today’s blog post, and since we are returning to Greece, I seized upon the above.  By the way, did you know that Shelley’s drama was used by his wife, Mary Shelley, as a  basis for a little novel she wrote?  Her book dealt with scientific knowledge and human suffering, and was titled, FRANKENSTEIN!  (Geez, they must have been a fun couple… not!)

Anyway, today we shall be exploring a most unusual venue called Monemvasia, Greece.  Mo-Mo, as I dubbed the place, is located on a small island off the eastern coast of the Peloponnese and is linked to the mainland by a short causeway.  We arrived in port early in the morning, dropped anchor in the bay, and spent the entire day exploring and swimming.  (The water was delightful)

High above the mainland (on the island) sits a medieval city encircled by ancient stone walls.  Here you can walk through a maze of narrow streets, enter old houses, and visit some very cool Byzantine churches.  The main cathedral dates back to the 13th century and is still in use.  (Surprisingly, they did not offer Bingo)  We decided to opt for an authentic Greek luncheon in the afternoon, but my daughter, being in better physical condition, toured the “Liotrivi,” the old olive oil factory.  The factory has been fully restored and was the boyhood home of one of the country’s most popular poets.

After lunch, we managed to find Paralia Pori Beach, which was a nice spot to swim and soak up some rays.  Incidentally, the town’s name is derived from two Greek words, “mone” and “envasia.”  These words, when combined, mean “single entrance.”  (Which is where the causeway comes in)  This was perhaps the most quiet and spiritual stop on our voyage, and a lovely place to stroll through as you discover the mystique of ancient Greece.

We did have one funny incident here…  when I left the local taverna (after a bit too much wine) I was stopped by a female police officer who told me that I was staggering.  I told her that she was rather attractive, too.  (My bail was easily affordable, about 10 Euros.)

So what else is new?  Well, last week I gave a presentation at Querencia Senior Residences in Barton Creek, and I had a blast.  I discussed my first history book, THE SECOND MOURNING, and then we had a lively Q & A session.  I will be returning to present my second history book, TURBULENT TIMES in the near future.  Always great to speak with a bunch of sweet and educated folks.

Kids don’t know how good they have it today.  When I was young, I had to walk over 9 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel.  (Just saying)  By the way, never wear a red shirt to Target.  Long story short, I’m covering for a woman named Thelma this afternoon.  (I’ll be in women’s undergarments.)

Next Sunday we begin a new book…  (We had to leave the Mediterranean sometime!)  My next treatise will be called “THE PIRATE PATH,”  and in this brilliant disquisition we shall discuss my recent voyage around the southern Caribbean.  Trust me, you will not want to miss a single episode.  (Maybe the whole book, but not a single episode!)

As I take my leave I would like to remind you that there’s a Highway to Hell but only a Stairway to Heaven…  which says a lot about the expected traffic!

Have a safe and sensuous week…   Love to all,

Doc Yanoff   *** Incredible photographs attached ***

 

 

 

GULLIBLE TRAVELERS. (Chapter 7) “Let’s Talk Turkey”

Yes, I know we were heading for Monemvasia, Greece, on today’s (semi) fascinating blog post, but after receiving several hundred complaints about a lack of photos back at Ephesus, I decided to return to the scene of the crime.  (Which is just a euphemism, I didn’t actually steal any artifacts!)  Still, I never thought I would get a chance to use a euphemism in Ephesus, which ain’t easy.  Where was I?  Oh yes, those photographs…..

As a reminder, our sailing vessel made port in Izmir Province.  (And we drank every drop!)  Then we stumbled off the ship and took a short bus ride to the ancient city of Ephesus, which is actually an ancient Greek city.  (Which came under Roman rule in 129 B.C.)  I know, it’s all very confusing.  Nearby is the Temple of Artemis, the Greek goddess of the hunt, the wilderness, wild animals, etc.  Her twin brother was Apollo, the Greek god of soul music.  They both owned theaters, I think.  Anyway, the Temple of Artemis (completed at 4:38 p.m. on August 15, 550 B.C.) was one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.  (Which were more impressive than the Seven Dwarfs, but not as cute.)

The city of Ephesus dates back to the Neolithic Age and grew rapidly during the Bronze Age and the Medicare Open Enrollment Period.  During the ages, the city has had some very famous visitors.  (Other than me)  Mark Antony and Cleopatra checked into the local Motel 6, and they were followed by Emperor Augustus (Who the month of July is named after, I think.) and Constantine the Great, who rebuilt much of the original city.

Sadly, many of the structures were completely destroyed by a huge earthquake during the Byzantine era (395-1308 AD), but several important sites still remain in relatively good condition.  Most impressive are the House of the Virgin Mary, the Roman-built theatre (an open-air structure that held up to 25,000 people and featured many gladiator contests), and of course, the famous Library of Celsus.

The library is truly remarkable, and according to Greek mythology, it once contained all of the “Adam Gold Mystery Novels” written by one of my ancient relatives, Stehanus Yanopolis.  (I think)  Anyways, the library once held nearly 12,000 scrolls, and if you scroll down, you will see some photos of the remaining facade.

We were lucky enough to be invited to a gourmet dinner that was served directly in front of the library one evening, and it was truly a memorable event.  By the way, take a close look at one of the photographs and you will see something startling.  Before the Romans took control, many Jews lived in Ephesus, and when their religion (and Christianity) were banned, they resorted to etching graffiti in the stone steps of the library.  Look close and you will see a Jewish menorah on one of the steps!  (The etcher received a hefty fine, but his art work remains!)

Two final points before I take my leave today…   First, I’d like to wish Ms. Barbara Talbott a VERY happy birthday.  (The old gal just turned 39!)  She looks marvelous, due to a rigorous exercise schedule.  (Exercise makes you look better naked.  So does wine.  Your choice.)  Also, I would like to send a “get well soon” wish to the Princess of Portugal, who is a little under the weather this week.  Be careful with your medications, dear princess.  (I once took a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.  Don’t ask!)

Well, I have to get going.  My wife has asked me (several times) to take her out to breakfast.  My dear wife says I have only two faults…  she says I don’t listen well and something else she kept rambling on about.  Women.

Finally, to the bum who recently stole my antidepressants, “I hope you’re happy now.”  (Come on, that was funny!)

How about this one…..    Two blondes walked into a building.  You’d think one of them would have seen it!  (That one was for Judge Susan)    Have a wonderful week, dear friends!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff         (NUDE photos attached.  Yeah, right.)

 

 

 

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