January 5, 2014

WHEN YOUR NUMBER IS UP…..

IT’S GREAT NEWS! (IF YOU’RE A WRITER) Otherwise, not so much. The year end blog statistics have recently been published by WordPress, and once again, our little blog has achieved immorality! Make that, immortality. How you ask? Well, first of all, our blog finished in the top 5% of all blogs on the Internet! An amazing accomplishment that I wish to thank you for… no joking, I couldn’t have done it without you guys. Secondly, we had a very healthy increase in readership. We now have….. (drum roll, please) ….. 6,500 followers in 40 countries! All I can say is Wow and Thank You!

Last week, our esteemed publisher announced that THE GRACELAND GANG, THE PIRATE PATH, and DEVIL’S COVE have been translated into several foreign languages….. French, Spanish, Italian, and German! All 3 mysteries are now available in those countries in their native tongue! (I once felt some native tongues, but that’s another story… I was on a study-abroad trip. So, naturally, I studied some broads!) Anyway, this is wonderful news, and all of my books can now be ordered in the above languages on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com

NOW FOR THE BIG BOOK NEWS….. My recently paroled literary agent, Black Bart Berkowitz, scored a major publishing victory on my behalf. My first two books have been approved by some sort of screening committee in Beijing, and they will now be available, in Chinese, throughout the country of China! Hot dog! I mean, egg roll! If our commie friends like inscrutable mysteries, then I’m their man! Seriously though, I would like to thank Mr. Berkowitz (who I never stop teasing) and the government of China. Hopefully, we will make a small fortune, cookie!

Finally, a word of thanks to Mr. Gary Rubenstein, the “Lobster King” of Austin, Texas. He played Santa “Claws” last week and concocted a marvelous lobster casserole for New Year’s Eve. Today, we are celebrating his wife’s 39th birthday at our house… and we went overboard with the food. (Actually, we threw the food overboard, but I digress.) Not to worry, though. Miss Jaime will be pleasantly surprised. (If she likes fast food.)

One last item….. I want to send my love and kisses to a potentially new blog follower who was born last week….. my niece, Lindsay, just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Scarlett. Welcome to our world, Miss Scarlett! I hear you read my last blog and threw up? Personally, I think it was the mashed carrots, but then again, I’m an optimist! Don’t forget to change your diapers frequently, and I wish you well in the maternity ward. (Watch those male babies, and don’t give out your phone number.)

Happy New Year once again! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

December 29, 2013

A HAPPY HILL COUNTRY HOLIDAY!

HOWDY BUCKEROOS AND BUCKETTES! I hope y’all had a wonderful holiday. Ma and Pa Kettle (Patty and I) spent the last few days on the McCloskey Ranch, in the heart of the Texas Hill Country, wining and dining with family and friends. Our most groovy adventure began on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. Hey, am I dating myself by using the word “groovy?” I used to date myself in high school, but that’s another story. (I was very lonely.) Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the Riverwalk. Well, we strolled along the lovely river and then made our way to Mi Tierra Mexican Restaurant, the world’s BEST Mexican restaurant! After two (fabulous) margaritas, we feasted on a truly memorable meal.

Now don’t get mad at me, but… I ate a kid! I know it sounds cruel, but the kid was stewed to perfection and the meat literally fell off the bones. This particular kid was served with rice and beans! Well, you know what they say, “kids should be stewed, not herded.” (Don’t call the police, a “kid” is a baby goat!) Which reminds me, our waiter really “got my goat!” There wasn’t a baaaaad piece on my plate!

We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at Tim McCloskey’s humble abode, and his very significant other, Miss Hannah, rustled up some mighty good grubs, I mean, grub. We dined on a magnificent rib roast and maple ham, and then had the pleasure of watching Colton McCloskey drink an entire bottle of port! (almost) After dinner, we entered a cut-throat poker tournament, featuring the “Magical Minard Brothers,” (Andrew and Jeff) who just happen to be fine fellows and great card players. (I think their mother cheats, but I will tell the story of the 3 queens at a later date!)

Being a true cowboy, I decided to go horseback riding on the way back to Austin. Unfortunately, we stopped at a place that only had one horse! A mare named Molasses. She refused to gallop during the day. (She was a “night mare.”) Definitely not a “stable” animal! I rode bareback for a while, but then I got cold and put my shirt back on. All right, enough horsing around…..

In closing, I wish to thank Sarah Doolittle, a prominent reporter from the Four Points News, for her wonderful article, illuminating my illustrious writing career. Sarah recently penned a great article about me, and if you would like to read it, just Google: Four Points News. Click on the December 25, 2013 issue. You will see my mug on the front page (in color!) and a long article about my books. Thanks again, Sarah!

Finally, my next blog will be a special year-end treat for all of you Marx Brothers fans out there. You won’t want to miss this one! As I bid you farewell today, I ask that you ponder the following enigma….. What makes teflon stick to a pan???

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

December 22, 2013

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Y’ALL!

NONE OF THAT P.C. GARBAGE FOR ME! I still say Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kindly Kwanzaa, or Far-Out Festivus! I am such a rebel! Hey, do you think elves listen to “wrap music” when they’re mailing gifts? I used to think that Santa was Polish, because I kept hearing about the North Pole. I love the holiday season, but I have one bad memory. I was an ugly child. My parents used to hang me up and kiss the mistletoe! The best present I ever got was a subscription to National Geographic Magazine. (You guys know where I’m coming from!)

Speaking of presents….. I received a lovely compliment from Mr. Larry Wood, a prominent land development and construction consultant here in Austin. Larry lived next door to the great mystery writer, Mickey Spillane, and they spent a lot of time together back in Myrtle Beach, S.C. (Spillane wrote the “Mike Hammer Series.”) After reading DEVIL’S COVE, my third mystery, Larry told me that I was just as good a writer as Mickey Spillane, if not better! Wow, what a nice thing to say! (I just hope I sell as many books!)

My second “present” of the week came from Max and Barbara Talbott, my dear friends who hosted a spectacular holiday dinner at the Austin Club. The food, company, and conversation were top notch. The club is housed in the old Millett Opera House, which was built in 1878, and is still a beauty. Many famous people have performed there, including John L. Sullivan, John Phillip Sousa, Lily Langtry, and the most famous of all, me! (My comedy routine was cut short by a slice of coconut cake.)

And since we’re on the subject of great evenings….. Our birthday dinner honoring the Princess of Portugal (last Sunday) was a huge success. Nobody got in a fight and nobody got arrested. There was only one argument about “Duck Dynasty.” Which reminds me, I never order duck in a restaurant. (I always get stuck with “the bill!”)

Well, believe it or not, I’m off to play Santa Claus. I will be making the rounds in my neighborhood, delivering free copies of THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH. (The books are free, but I charge twenty dollars for an autograph!) Just kidding. In closing, I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, and I truly hope that you and yours have a wonderful day. As Tiny Tim said, “God Bless Us All!” Amen.

Ho-Ho-Ho and love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

December 15, 2013

“TIME” MARCHES ON!

Without me! Well, once again, I did not win TIME Magazine’s “Man of the Year Award.” Somehow, Pope Francis won. Naturally I asked for a recount of the votes, but I am not holding my breath. (The last time I held my breath it made me “blue!”) Since I lost, I thought I’d ask His Holiness to convey sainthood upon me, but no dice. (Did you know that the Vatican prefers Catholics? What’s up with that?) Anyway, I received a lovely email from the Pope (in Latin!) suggesting that I forward proof of 3 miracles that I have performed, and upon verification, they will consider a “saint-like” designation for me. Thus, I have sent the following miracles to Rome:

Miracle 1. I took the garbage can out to the curb 4 weeks in a row! (Unfortunately, I only brought it back twice.)

Miracle 2. I refrained from telling a bad joke for 8 hours! (I was sleeping, but it still counts.)

Miracle 3. I remembered the date of my wedding anniversary!

In case you’re wondering, my 7-year tenure at St. Edward’s University will mean bonus points for my cause. (assuming I return a few library books.) I shall keep you informed of my progress. So what else is new? Well, last Thursday was the annual River Place Garden Club Christmas Party. Each year the club holds a “white elephant,” but I don’t usually participate because I have no idea where to purchase a pale pachyderm. This year the party was hosted by the lovely and talented Jane Malone, and as usual, it was great fun. Thank you, Jane! You have a magnificent home!

Speaking of magnificent hosts and homes….. John and Andrea Schleich hosted a wonderful holiday get-together on Friday evening. (In their new custom home!) We were lucky enough to meet Andrea’s parents and children, and being from the heartland (Nebraska) they were all the most delightful people you can imagine. Welcome to the neighborhood! We look forward to seeing you in the near future.

NOW FOR SOME BOOK NEWS….. I was recently informed that my first two mystery novels (THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH) will soon be translated into French, Spanish, and Italian, due to a strong demand in those countries! This is the most wonderful news an author can get, and as you might imagine, the translated copies greatly increase sales. I would like to thank Murder Ink Press and Penguin Books for their continued support of my fledgling career. You folks are the best!

Tonight we are hosting a birthday party for Helena de la Bomblatus, a Portuguese princess from the Azores. I understand that the princess is bringing her husband (some sort of duke) and an interpreter from the islands. I don’t normally hob nob with royalty (unless I’m holding a royal flush in poker) so this should be a wonderful fun-filled evening. I will have to watch my manners, though. (No picking my teeth with a knife.)

Well, you must excuse me. I need to try on my tuxedo. God, I look like a penguin. (See how I worked in another reference to Penguin Books?) Yeah, I’m shameless. Have a wonderful week…. and be careful. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

December 8, 2013

A BUSY BEE…..

YEP, THAT WOULD BE ME! (I suppose I could also be called a busy body.) Incidentally, do you know that a bumble bee has to make over two million flower taps just to produce one pound of honey? I’ve studied the bee-havior of these fascinating insects. In my world, FYI stands for “Flying Yellow Insects.” For instance, I know how to make these little creatures “bee-have” and produce lots of honey. Soothing music is the key. (They love Sting) Ouch! Should I have gone with Paul McCartney and Wings? My mother did NOT do a good job explaining the “birds and the bees” to my sister. After she got stung, she thought she was pregnant! Un-bee-lievable! (Shall we move on?)

The week began with a productive literary trip to Schulenburg, a quaint little town south of Austin. (Fayette County) The town used to be known for its kolaches, but that was before they were introduced to THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH. Now they’ve become a literary mecca, which should no doubt increase the number of tourists that visit. If you ever visit, make sure to stop at Sengelmann Hall, an historic dance hall built in the late 1800s. (They still host polka bands on the weekend!)

Speaking of polka, or poker for that matter, I would like to thank Fred and Leigh Ann Woodward for hosting (Saturday) the Ninth Annual Kings & Queens Poker Tournament in Lago Vista, Texas. What a blast! The place was filled to the rafters with some of the best poker players in the state. (Including Sharon “Big Win” Walker and her husband, Rich “Also Ran” Walker.) The food, drinks, and entertainment were simply over the top this year. Don’t ask me how, but The Mighty Cobra (me) managed to make it to the Final Table, where I placed high up on the leader board, but failed to win the $100,000 first place prize. (or something like that!)

On Wednesday last, the “Princess of Poker,” (my wife) won Second Place in the annual Christmas Poker Extravaganza downtown. (She won a generous gift card, but refuses to share it with me!) No matter. During the break, I managed to sell several copies of DEVIL’S COVE, which substantially increased my net worth.

On Friday I went to a holiday party where the host hired a mime! However, due to time constraints, the mime did not perform. Personally, I thing a mime is a terrible thing to waste. But that’s just me. Hey, I just thought of something… If you were going to shoot a mime, would you have to use a silencer? Hmm.

Next week I’m off to Athens. No, not Greece. Athens, Texas. I actually like East Texas, since I went to college in that area, and have several children living in that part of the state. Should be an interesting visit. Well, I must leave you now as I have another charity poker tournament to go to! (I told you I was a busy bee!) If I do well (very unlikely) I will brag, I mean, write about it on my next post. A lot of talented players will be there, and they’re expecting a “full house.” (So am I!) Have a wonderful week…. Love to all…

Doc Yanoff

December 1, 2013

PILGRIM’S PROGRESS…..

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Did you and yours gobble up lots of food? We had a veritable (Not vegetable) feast at my house. The dining room table was a sight for sore eyes… and sore bellies! I think I swallowed more stuffing than the bird. Speaking of birds, and let’s face it, Thanksgiving is for the birds, President Obama continued a long tradition by pardoning a plump turkey. (No, not Alec Baldwin.) The turkey’s name was “Popcorn.”

Which reminds me… Did you know that popcorn was invented by a high-ranking Army officer? Yep, the guy was a kernel. (Colonel) Every time he made popcorn his troops would butter him up. I would find that “ear-itating.” (Do you think these jokes are too corny?) All right, I’ll move on…..

My darling wife, Lucrezia Borgia Yanoff, made a splendid meal, and we were joined by my two beautiful daughters, my hard-working son-in-law, and most importantly, my grand-dog Baker. Truly a memorable feast. Especially for Baker. (He got the bigger half of the wishbone.) Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

Our festivities continued on Friday, when we drove down to my brother-in-law’s ranch in Boerne, Texas. (Boerne, pronounced “Bernie,” is a lovely town in the Texas Hill Country.) We got to visit with my brother-in-law, his sons, his lovely girlfriend, and several of my favorite in-laws from Dallas. We sat around an outdoor fire, sipping bourbon and beer, telling tall tales, and enjoying some wonderful comraderie. What a marvelous evening.

Since we’re on the subject of marvelous events….. If you recall, I previously mentioned that some of my new book covers had been nominated for “Outstanding design and layout” by a major trade group in New York. Well, the top prize went to a science fiction novel, but it was the first time in the group’s history that one author had received 3 nominations! Just for the record, I had little to do with the exterior of the books, but I am still very proud of this recognition. (These were the front covers of THE GRACELAND GANG, THE PIRATE PATH, and DEVIL’S COVE.)

Before I leave you, I must say “thanks” to Ms. Amy from Dallas (and her incredibly gorgeous mother, Judge Susan) for the delivery of my favorite “treat” in life (that’s legal)….. cheese pockets from Stein’s Bakery! Thank you, ladies!

Also, I would like you to know that this particular blog is dedicated to a dear friend of mine who is recuperating from foot surgery. (The Princess of Portugal) I hope you are feeling better, Princess. We look forward to your gala return to Austin. Central Texas is too quiet without you! (Although I’m trying my best to fill the void!)

Well, my dear family, friends, and blog followers….. I hope you had a joyous holiday, and like me, have much to be thankful for. God bless you all this coming year, and as is my custom, I shall leave you with a bad joke….. (Courtesy of my nephew, Colton) What do you call a cow with no legs? Are you ready? Ground beef!

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

October 27, 2013

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS…..

“WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE….. ” Do you remember this song penned by Lennon & McCartney? It first appeared on the classic 1967 album, “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.” Frankly, it’s one of my favorite Beatle songs, and as fate would have it, I got plenty of help from my friends this week…..

On Wednesday, I was interviewed by Sarah Dolittle, the multi-talented reporter from the Four Points News. Sarah and I spent several hours together, and we discussed THE GRACELAND GANG, THE PIRATE PATH, and DEVIL’S COVE. I must warn you…. photographs were taken, so don’t be shocked if you see my mug on the cover of your Sunday newspaper. (The photographs should NOT be used for target practice!)

On Friday, my poker friends in Cedar Park were kind enough to contribute $600 to my ever-growing poker fund, BUT….. once again, the big news was made by my wife. (Playing as “The Queen of Hearts.”) Patty placed 4th in a major poker tournament and made the Mighty Cobra look silly. (A rather simple task, I’m afraid!)

On Saturday, our good friends, Mary and Ivar Rachkind, had a lovely costume party to celebrate the arrival of Halloween. The party was held at their beautiful home in River Place, and you might imagine, a great time was had by all. I would like to thank the Rachkinds for the great food, great wine, great company, and great conversation. In case you’re wondering, I came as “The Chic of Araby” and Miss Patty was “Catwoman.” We didn’t win the costume contest, but we did receive several votes. (Bribery works wonders!)

Finally, for those of you that might be attending the Texas Book Festival, please check out two of my dear friends that will be prominently featured at this year’s event….. Mrs. Michael Schneider, the author of several highly acclaimed romantic suspense novels. (Including BLIND FAITH and THE DARKNESS OF PERFECTION.) Michael is an incredibly talented author AND a brilliant insurance underwriter! (She works for my other friend, Mr. Ted Heaton, a State Farm agent.) Mr. Larry Brill, a former television news broadcaster AND a terrific writer, will also be at the festival. Larry’s latest book is titled, THE PATTERER, and it is described as “Monty Python meets Charles Dickens.” The book has gotten a number of rave reviews and should be on everyone’s reading list this year. If you mention my name, you will receive a (very) slight discount!

BONUS SURPRISE! If you are still awake, I would like you to know that two of my book covers have been chosen as “finalists” in the annual book cover contest sponsored by Murder Ink Press! (A very rare accomplishment.) The new covers of THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH are in the running, so keep your fingers crossed for me. (Even though the artist gets the cash prize!) I get some free publicity. Ah well, free is good.

Have a safe and wonderful week! Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

October 20, 2013

DISCOVERY DAY, 2013!

NO, I DIDN’T FIND ANOTHER GRAY HAIR….. October 12th was actually “Discovery Day” in the Bahamas. (The site of my second mystery, THE PIRATE PATH.) In the U.S., we celebrate this day as “Columbus Day.” Did you know that Colorado was the first state to officially honor the great explorer? (1906) Back then, they gave out free beer, which might have led to the phrase “Rocky Mountain High.” (Hey, anything’s possible.)

Columbus Day became a federal holiday in 1937, giving federal workers ANOTHER day off. (Personally, I wouldn’t grant a day off unless you were of Italian heritage and you discovered a New World.) But that’s just me. In any case, here’s a little trivia question for you….. Name the four states that DO NOT recognize Columbus Day. No cheating! (Answer: Hawaii, Alaska, Oregon, and South Dakota) People in those states have poor vision, so they don’t recognize a lot of things. (The rest of the country is more “farsighted.”)

Last Wednesday, October 16th, was National Boss’s Day. (In my house it’s called “Wife Day.”) Oddly enough, this holiday is celebrated in the United States, Canada, and Lithuania. (No joking) Don’t ask me how Lithuania got involved. They were probably trying to outdo Latvia and Estonia.

Speaking of celebrations….. Our blog site has now reached a very special plateau… we have (slightly) over 6,000 followers! Wow, what a wonderful accomplishment! Thank you! By the way, what do you folks think about the new book covers for THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH? I would love to hear your opinions, so don’t be shy! Both covers were originally conceived by Mrs. Rachel Zell, a beautiful and talented artist who lives here in Austin. Keep up the good work, Rachel. (Conceiving is a wonderful thing!)

While we are on the subject of conceiving….. I would like to acknowledge a few of my younger blog followers. (babies!) Uncle Steve sends his best to Stella, Brooklyn, and Evan. Make sure you stay dry and finish your mashed bananas.

Hey, did you hear that Native-Americans want to change the name of the Washington Redskins? No joking. They’re embarrassed to be associated with the city of Washington! (I have certain “reservations” myself.)

Those of you that live or work in Austin, Texas, should keep your eyes on our award-winning newspaper next week. A reporter will be coming up to my house on Wednesday for a feature-length interview. I will be discussing my first two books (see above) and my last display of literary brilliance, DEVIL’S COVE. She (the reporter) is bringing along a photographer, which means that I will have to groom myself. Achieving fame and fortune is never easy!

By the way, last night we attended the Austin Music Festival, sponsored by Central Market. Our group managed to wine and dine is splendid fashion, and most importantly, nobody got arrested. I would like to thank the store management for featuring flyers of my books at the checkout counters. Any publicity is good publicity when you’re trying to sell books.

Finally, I would once again like to say thank you to the doctors and nurses at the Boca Raton Regional Hospital. You took great care of my mother last week and I will never forget your competency and kindness. What a great bunch of people….. God bless you all! (Mom is now in rehab, training for the 2014 Senior Olympics!)

Well, dear ones, have a great week, drive carefully, and keep those cards and letters coming. God willing, I will have a special announcement for you next Sunday! Love to all …..

Doc Yanoff

September 15, 2013

YANOFF WINS NOBEL PRIZE FOR LITERATURE!

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE… DIDN’T I USE THIS SCHTICK LAST SUNDAY? (I thought it sounded familiar!) Well, fuhgetaboutit. I never use a joke twice… unless I’m visiting my mother in south Florida. (A lot of seniors in Boca Raton are hard of hearing, so I am forced to repeat most of my jokes.) Do you realize that if the cities of Baton Rouge and Boca Raton merged the new city would be called Baton Raton? Jeez, they would have gators and waders. (There would also be some reptile dysfunctions, but I digress….. )

Speaking of awards (ones that I have actually received) my newest book, DEVIL’S COVE, was recently chosen as the “Mystery of the Month” by the Lake Charles (Louisiana) Book Club. God willing, I will actually make it up to Lake Charles in the near future, and will be signing books for the group. (Thank you for the honor!)

And since we’re discussing books and honors….. It was my pleasure to recently donate some books (MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE an DEVIL’S COVE) to Angela Plunkett, a fellow member of the River Place Garden Club. (The club that has added so much beauty to our community.) Angela is a tireless supporter of a wonderful organization called the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. (The books will be used in a gift bag at an upcoming fundraiser.) Thank God we still have people like Angela who try to make the world a safer place!

So what else is new? Well, my newest novel, THE GRACELAND GANG, is now with my new publisher and we have about two weeks of final revisions ahead of us. The book cover is outstanding, and with the revisions and new chapters, I feel confident about the Pulitzer thing. (Confident that SOMEBODY will win the award this year!)

My poker career has taken another unusual turn…. during the past week, I played in 3 tournaments, and placed third, fourth, and fifth! I’d better stop playing for a while or I’m going to end up in last place! Nonetheless, my fortuitous victories have earned me a great sum of money, which I will be donating to the S.S.C.F. (Self-Serving Cruise Fund)

Last week I had the privilege of conducting a book signing in the lovely burg of McKinney. (north Texas) If you’re ever in that part of the state, you should check out Churchill’s British Restaurant & Pub. Very interesting spot, and they have some great beers on tap. (Not to mention Cragganmore single-malt Scotch!) They also have other “spirits”…….. On the second Thursday of each month they host something called “Psychic Night.” My aunt was a psycho, I mean, psychic, and she used to read palms. (Lots of palms in Boca Raton.) She wasn’t very good at predicting the future. In fact, she was only “medium.”

In any case, if you enjoy psychic readings, then this is the place for you. (They used to do Ouija, but folks got “bored.”) You get it, Ouija Board? Never mind. (I’m predicting a few groans!) Well, it’s time for me to dig into a cheese pocket, so I will bid you adieu. Have a wonderful week and enjoy life!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

September 8, 2013

YANOFF NOMINATED FOR PULITZER PRIZE!

WELL, THIS IS A HEADLINE WE WILL NEVER SEE, BUT….. YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT GOT YOUR ATTENTION!

Look, my life is an open book. I can’t help it if nobody wants to read the darn thing. Speaking of books… (wasn’t that a clever segue?) I regret to announce that my upcoming book signing in Syria has been cancelled by the State (of confusion) Department. Just as well. My last engagement in Syria was a bomb. (Oops, poor choice of words.) Our tour bus broke down in Jerusalem and we had to walk all the way to the Syrian capital. The road to Damascus was the turning point of my life, and me and a guy named Paul (our bus driver) found the experience rather heavenly.

But I undress, I mean, digress….. Where was I? First, I would like to thank Dr. Gary Rubenstein for the healing shoulder patches he provided to lessen the discomfort of my recent rotator cuff injury. They worked wonders, and I am now back on the parallel bars, training for the Tokyo Olympics. (Talk about “stretching” the truth!)

Second, I am proud to announce that DEVIL’S COVE (Book three in the Adam Gold Mystery Series) was recently chosen as the “Outstanding New Mystery of the Year” by the Baytown Book Club of Harris County. (Near Houston.) Thank you, folks. I greatly appreciate the award! Incidentally, THE PRESLEY PLOT is in the final stage of revision, and if all goes well, it should be re-released at a gala book party sometime in October. (Hopefully at Graceland in Memphis or at the Elvis Presley Center in Tupelo!)

My (semi) professional poker career took a direct hit last Thursday evening. Just as the Mighty Cobra (me) was closing in on the final table and the championship, I ran into “The Black Widow.” (The new poker name of the beautiful and talented Sharon Francia.) I had 3 eights, and was reaching for a mountain of chips, when Sharon announced that the third “8” gave her a straight! (Thereby sending me “straight home.”) I’m telling you, life just ain’t fair!

But, please, do not feel sorry for me….. Last night we attended a delightful pool party, given by the Prince and Princess of Portugal, Lee and Helena Bomblatus. The food, conversation, and weather were perfect! We dined on gourmet cheese, prosciutto and melon, insalata caprese, corn pudding, and marvelous grilled salmon. (Washed down with some darn good wine!) It was a memorable meal, and a lovely way to slide into September. Our host and hostess are on their way to Portugal for an extended vacation, and we wish them well! (Bring back some olives for me!)

Tonight is another party, but this one is downtown….. at a terrific new brewery in Austin. (Pale Dog IPA) I know what you’re thinking…. when does this man have time to write? To be honest, I write between naps. Not an easy task, but somebody has to do it. (Now that Vince Flynn and Elmore Leonard are gone.) Granted, there is a great deal of pressure on me, but I can handle the stress. I’m tough as nails. (fingernails!)

Well, my dear friends, I must leave you now….. I am on my way to Castle Hill Fitness Center, where, upon my arrival, I shall receive a wonderful deep tissue massage. I’m sure this will be a “touching” experience. Please keep those cards and letters coming, have a safe week, and enjoy life!

Love to all……

Doc Yanoff

P.S. I’d like to wish all of my Jewish acquaintances a Happy and Healthy New Year!