A BUSY BEE…..

     YEP, THAT WOULD BE ME!  (I suppose I could also be called a busy body.)  Incidentally, do you know that a bumble bee has to make over two million flower taps just to produce one pound of honey?  I’ve studied the bee-havior of these fascinating insects.  In my world, FYI stands for “Flying Yellow Insects.”  For instance, I know how to make these little creatures “bee-have” and produce lots of honey.  Soothing music is the key.  (They love Sting)  Ouch!  Should I have gone with Paul McCartney and Wings?  My mother did NOT do a good job explaining the “birds and the bees” to my sister.  After she got stung, she thought she was pregnant!  Un-bee-lievable!  (Shall we move on?)

     The week began with a productive literary trip to Schulenburg, a quaint little town south of Austin.  (Fayette County)  The town used to be known for its kolaches, but that was before they were introduced to THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH.  Now they’ve become a literary mecca, which should no doubt increase the number of tourists that visit.  If you ever visit, make sure to stop at Sengelmann Hall, an historic dance hall built in the late 1800s.  (They still host polka bands on the weekend!)

     Speaking of polka, or poker for that matter, I would like to thank Fred and Leigh Ann Woodward for hosting (Saturday) the Ninth Annual Kings & Queens Poker Tournament in Lago Vista, Texas.  What a blast!  The place was filled to the rafters with some of the best poker players in the state.  (Including Sharon “Big Win” Walker and her husband, Rich “Also Ran” Walker.)  The food, drinks, and entertainment were simply over the top this year.  Don’t ask me how, but The Mighty Cobra (me) managed to make it to the Final Table, where I placed high up on the leader board, but failed to win the $100,000 first place prize.  (or something like that!)

     On Wednesday last, the “Princess of Poker,” (my wife) won Second Place in the annual Christmas Poker Extravaganza downtown.  (She won a generous gift card, but refuses to share it with me!)  No matter.  During the break, I managed to sell several copies of DEVIL’S COVE, which substantially increased my net worth.

     On Friday I went to a holiday party where the host hired a mime!  However, due to time constraints, the mime did not perform.  Personally, I thing a mime is a terrible thing to waste.  But that’s just me.  Hey, I just thought of something…  If you were going to shoot a mime, would you have to use a silencer?  Hmm.

     Next week I’m off to Athens.  No, not Greece.  Athens, Texas.  I actually like East Texas, since I went to college in that area, and have several children living in that part of the state.  Should be an interesting visit.  Well, I must leave you now as I have another charity poker tournament to go to!  (I told you I was a busy bee!)  If I do well (very unlikely) I will brag, I mean, write about it on my next post.  A lot of talented players will be there, and they’re expecting a “full house.”  (So am I!)  Have a wonderful week…. Love to all…

     Doc Yanoff

THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT!

WHEN I SAY “ENGAGEMENT” I AM REFERRING TO….. Speaking engagements!  I have two interesting events scheduled for this coming week.  First, I will be regaling an audience of “seasoned citizens” at the Austin Senior Center, which is always fun.  Wisdom comes with age.  (So do Social Security checks.)   On Thursday, I shall be having a delightful brunch with the charming ladies of the River Place Book Club.  These wonderful women have invited me to a gourmet feast, followed by a fascinating lecture centered around THE PRESLEY PLOT and my recent  foray into the cut-throat world of publishing!  The event is being hosted by Claudia Tobias, a truly remarkable woman who donates many long hours to various charitable groups in our community.  I think this will be great fun and I am looking forward to a lively discussion.  (I know some of these ladies from the River Place Garden Club and they are a smart and worldly group.)

And speaking of smart and lively women….. Leigh Ann Woodward, one of the sweetest and most talented poker players in Texas, recently hosted the 8th Annual Kings & Queens Poker Event at her lovely country estate in Lago Vista last night.  I have played in this tournament several times (and done remarkably well, I might add) so I know how much fun it is, and I also know that it attracts some very good poker players.  The evening is filled with great drinks, great food, and great company!  Unfortunately, I could not play this year, but I am anxious to hear who won.  In any case, Leigh Ann should be congratulated for throwing one of the best Christmas-time events of the season!

Since I have been writing about South Africa recently, I think I should mention that we now have 12 new blog followers in that fascinating country!  G’day mates!  (Australian is as close as I can come!)  Rachel (my daughter) and Adam (the son-in-law) recently returned from your beautiful country and they loved it!  Of course, being related to me, you might expect one or two (how shall I put this?) “Mishaps.”     For instance, when they went to Robben Island to view Nelson Mandela’s jail cell, the guard told them that “Nelson spent 18 years on this island.”  Rachel, being a chip off the old block, asked, “Which one, Ricky or David?”    Adam wasn’t much better.  He told the guard that if Mandela had been Jewish they wouldn’t have kept him in a jail cell.  (Jewish people eat “locks.”)  And so it went……   Surprisingly, we still have diplomatic relations with South Africa.

AND NOW FOR SOME ELVIS PRESLEY NEWS…..     I have some very exciting news for all of my fans and blog followers….. THE PRESLEY PLOT has been chosen to receive a “full book review,” by the international website called AMAZON BOOK CLUBS!  This is really great news for me, and once the review is posted, it should attract world-wide attention.  The Amazon Book Club selections are seen by millions of readers throughout the world and they are also posted on just about every social website known to man.  (or woman)  I am very excited about this development and I will keep you posted of my progress.  I should get a “first draft” sometime within the next two weeks.  Just between you and me, this sort of makes up for losing the Nobel Prize for Literature to that Ecuadorian Llama rancher.  (I’d like to “pull the wool” over that guy sometime!)  All right, I have to stop being bitter.  Just let it go.  Keep moving forward.  (But come on, a book about Montezuma’s revenge?  Really?)

Incidentally, just to keep you in the loop, I will (unless there is breaking news) be posting one blog per week from now on.  (No cheering, please.)  My writing commitments (the ones I get paid for!) have recently grown experimentally, I mean, exponentially.  In short, there are not enough hours in the day!  (I think we’re stuck at 24)  I for one would vote for a longer day and a shorter night, but that’s just me.  In any case, I just don’t have enough time to produce such mind-boggling brilliance twice a week and still play poker.  I hope I have not disappointed anyone.  You must go on with your lives.  Forget about me.  (Not entirely, though)  We shall still meet each and every Sunday!  (One more thing to pray for!)

So….. until next Sunday….. I wish you joy and happiness.  (Aren’t those the same things?)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff