SINGIN’ THE BLUES…..

Sadly, we lost the great George Jones this week.  A big loss for those of us who love country music.  As some of you know, I was born in Nashville.  Back in the day, my aunts often took me to the Grand Ole Opry, and I remember meeting Mr. Jones backstage.  He was always very polite, and as I recall, always willing to give some squirt an autograph.  Did you know that his big song, “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” was recently voted “the greatest country song of all time?”  Interestingly, Jones did not like the song at first, and he almost refused to record the darn thing.  He thought it was too long, too sad, and too depressing!  (Much like my writing career!)

Personally, I thought it was a great song, but not as good as the one and only country song that I wrote.  (“I’ll Never Get Over You Until You Get Out From Under Him.”)  My little tune was recorded by The Inbred Brothers, and even though it didn’t get much airplay outside of Arkansas, it was nominated for a Granny.  (Similar to the Grammy Award, but given to a senior citizen.)  What a treat it was to see my name in Billboard.  (Actually, my name was ON a billboard, but that’s a long story, and I was falsely accused.)

NOW FOR SOME LITERARY NEWS…..    Aberdeen Bay Press has received permission from my publicist (Invisible Irving Flakowitz) to feature my photograph on their worldwide webpage!  Sooo…. if you are so inclined, or even horizontal, you can log onto their website and view photographs of me signing books in England and France!  In all seriousness, this is very cool, and I appreciate the publicity.

Speaking of publicity….. I would like to publicly thank Mr. Ken Evans, a distinguished gentleman and world-class poker player, for purchasing 10 copies of MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE last week!  (They do make wonderful gifts.)  I’ve noticed that a handful of Austin celebrities are also reading the book…..  i.e., Judge Susan Marquess, Rich Walker, Leigh Ann Woodward, Barbara Talbott, Donna Simon, Christine Nickles, Paula Johnston, and Lee Bomblatus.  (Some of these folks ain’t from Austin, per se, but who’s counting?)  They are here in spirit!  Thanks gang!

While we are on the subject of publicity…..  My friend, Diane Fanning, who just happens to be an incredibly talented writer, is celebrating the publication of her 20th book!  Quite an accomplishment.  Congratulations, Diane!  My other friend (I have two) Larry Brill, is off and running with his first book, and from what I hear, it is destined to become a huge success.  (It’s called “Live@Five”)

I would like to remind my faithful blog followers that Mother’s Day is just around the corner.  (Each year I send my own mom a card of congratulations for having me.)  I’m not sure how my mom feels about that.  (She likes to say “If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong!)  Still, I would remind you that we’re supposed to respect our elders, even though, as time marches on, it’s getting harder and harder to find one!

By the way, speaking of finding things, you might want to order a copy of MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE this week.  There are only a few copies left from the first printing, and the second printing, which will begin this week, will take some time to complete.  (Your mom will be very disappointed if she gets candy or flowers again!)  I sent my own mom two copies (I charged her full price, but I paid for half of the shipping) and I’m sure she was touched by my generosity.  Where there’s a will…. I want to be in it!

Well, folks, take care and have a safe and happy week.  The spring book tour begins this Saturday, so the next time that you hear from me I will be in Tupelo, MIssissippi!  (Where the heck did I put those blue suede shoes??)  Elvis loves you, baby!

Doc Yanoff

HEADS OR TALES?

Well, you can have both when you order a copy of MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE!  There is a colorful head on the cover, (I call it a “skulleton”) and inside you will find a thrilling tale of mayhem, mystery, and murder!  The book, as you have probably surmised, is now available in paperback and on Kindle at Amazon.com!  That’s right, happy days are here again!

Meanwhile, in order to keep THE PRESLEY PLOT front and center, I will soon be embarking on a lengthy book signing/speaking engagement tour, and my first stop will be at the Elvis Presley Birthplace & Community Center in Tupelo, Mississippi.  Yes, my little hound dogs, yours truly will be speaking to the good folks of Tupelo on the weekend of May 11 & 12.  Hopefully, I will also be negotiating a profitable business deal with the gift shop on premises.  (I would like them to feature THE PRESLEY PLOT in the book section.)  Soooo….. if you’re in the area, come on by and say hello.  I will also be judging an “Elvis Look-Alike Contest,” so there should be plenty of levity and some memorable photography.

Shortly after I’m lynched, I mean, lauded, in Tupelo, I leave for my spring book tour in the (not so far) east.  In conjunctivitis with Aberdeen Bay Publishing, I have arranged to make appearances in Baton Rouge, Birmingham, Atlanta, Savannah, and Jacksonville.  Along the way I intend to sample some Southern comfort, and some bourbon, too.

My Dixie Diaspora will continue with a special guest appearance in Boca Raton, Florida.  Whence I arrive in Palm Beach County I will be dining with “The Donald.”  Unfortunately, I am referring to Donald Duck from Disney World, not the guy with the strange hair-do.  The last time I had lunch with Donald Duck I got stuck with the bill. (“The bill?”)

The piece de resistance of my personal and persistent perseverance will be a ten-day period of peace and pleasantness in a perfect playground of pleasure.  (No, not Paraguay.)  The island of St. John!  Now that I am a famous author, I have an entourage, so me and my posse (3 couples) will be heading down to the Caribbean for some R & R.  (Incidentally, the would be “Rest & Rum!”)  While we are there, we intend to soak up some rays, (which is better than stepping on them) snorkel, and consume a prodigious amount of rum.

Writing is brutal, but somebody has to do it!  Besides, one must live for today.  Need I remind you that Austin is number four on Kim Jong-un’s bombing list?  (I blame those damn hippies downtown.)  Little Kim is the son of Kim Jong-il, who I nicknamed “Kim Jong-mentallly-ill.”  The young man, who bears a striking resemblance to the Pillsbury Dough-boy, is a tyrant.  Do not be fooled by his recent meeting with Ambassador Rodman!  Kim Jong-un is not a “Seoul Man!”

But I digress…..  Where was I?  Oh yeah, in the Caribbean.  Well, after I damage my liver, I will make my way back to the Lone Star State and begin marketing book number 3 in the Adam Gold Mystery Series.  (This one is called “DEVIL’S COVE,” and it is set entirely in the state of Texas!)  Naturally, I will keep those cards and letters coming while I am on the road.  Which reminds me….  Did you hear that a truck ran over Willie Nelson’s foot?  Yeah, that’s right, he was “playing on the road again!”  (Ouch!)

Well, take care, have a wonderful week, and remember to duck and cover if Kim starts shooting.  Hopefully, we will meet again next Sunday!   Love to all,

Doc (or should I change my name to “Duck?”) Yanoff.   (I wouldn’t mind the change if I get “top billing!”)

BACK IN THE SADDLE!

HI BUCKEROOS, IT’S SCAMP YANOFF TIME AGAIN… TIME TO SLIDE ONE BY YOU ONCE MORE…

First the BIG NEWS…..  My second “Adam Gold Mystery Novel,” titled MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE, is ready for publication and will be available in the very near future!  We completed the final book cover design yesterday, and as you will see, the good folks at Aberdeen Bay Press did a fantastic job.  In my humble opinion, the cover is simply awesome.  (Except for my mug on the back!)  I will, of course, let you know when it is available for purchase on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com, etc.

A lot has happened in our world since last Sunday, so why don’t we take a moment and play “catch-up?”  (I didn’t have a chance to post a blog last week.)  Well, as they say, “where there’s smoke there’s….. a new Pope!”  I wonder if that’s where the term “Holy Smoke” comes from?  Congratulations to Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio, an Argentine, who will now be known as Pope Francis.  The Argentines were understandably emotional, so His Holiness told them…..  “Don’t cry for me, Argentina!”  (You can’t make this stuff up!)  I feel bad that the Pope can’t marry.  I have been in a monotonous relationship for 35 years, and I am quite numb, I mean, happy.  Of course, there are many bonds that keep us together.  (Savings bonds, Government bonds, Municipal bonds, etc.)

Looks like Carnival Cruise Lines had another smelly week.  I pity the poor folks that were recently on the “Carnival Dream,” which should be re-named the “Carnival Nightmare.”   As you might know, the ship lost power temporarily and the halls filled up with….. well, human waste.  (No, not the incompetent crew.)  Carnival Cruises now has a new slogan…  “Howdy Doody!”   (Peyew, that joke stinks!)

What do you folks think about all of those pigs that a Chinese farmer admitted dumping into the Huangpu River?  (6,000 porkers!)  The pigs were pulled out of the water, cooked and shredded, and served to tourists from Arkansas!  (Those razorbacks just love “pulled pork.”)  At first I thought the story was “hog wash,” but now I’m not so sure.  If I close my beautiful brown eyes, I can almost see Sum Yung Guy (the farmer) standing on the bank of a levee.  (Why would they open a bank on a levee?)  Anyway, I can see him humming Stephen Foster’s famous song, “Way down upon the Swine-ee Riber… ”

Incidentally, did you know that Stephen Foster, “The Father of American Music,” was raised by a “foster family?”  Duh.  To be perfectly honest, the man was a genius.  (Even though, sadly, he died a pauper at the age of 37.)  During his short lifetime, he wrote…  “Oh! Susanna,” “Camptown Races,” “Old Folks at Home,” “Jeanie With The Light Brown Hair,” and my personal favorite, “Beautiful Dreamer.”  (My theme song, incidentally!)

Since I completely missed St. Patrick’s Day, I would like to offer a belated greeting to all of my Irish friends.  (Including a gal named Patricia Eileen McCloskey!)  I’ve always admired St. Patrick, even though he drove the snakes out of Ireland.  (Hey, family comes first to “The Cobra!”)  I’ve always wondered how he drove the snakes off of an island.  How big was his car?  I wonder if he drove a Dodge Viper?  Well, as they say in County Cork…..  “Here’s to a long life and a merry one.  A quick death and an easy one.  A pretty girl and an honest one.  A cold pint – and another one!”   Erin adjust your bragh!

Finally, I would like to mention that my friend, Larry Brill, a semi-famous television personality in Austin, has a new book coming out in early April.  The book is titled, “Live@Five,” and it is a very good read, so look for it on Amazon.com in the weeks ahead.  (Larry was the producer of “Writing Across Texas,” the show that I co-hosted for a few years.)

Remember, dear ones, you are never too old to learn something stupid.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit….. wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S. This masterly prose is dedicated to a masterpiece of a person, my sweet sister-in-law, Kathy Johnston.

 

 

THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!

NO, I AM NOT REFERRING TO THE LOOMING SEQUESTRATION!  (Or as we Texans call it, “Loom and Gloom.”)  Rather, I refer to that incredible show of planetary instability, a/k/a the Russian Comet!  (Well, maybe I got the ethnic thing wrong, but it was “Russian” toward Earth!)  At the risk of sounding like Chicken Little, who we all know was a “dumb cluck,” I must admit that the meteor shower was quite spectacular.

Did you know that it streaked across China and killed two rice farmers named Wong?  Of course, “two Wongs don’t make a ‘rite,” as they say at NASA.  Furthermore, there was carnage in Siberia.  In fact, three plump vodka drinkers (Siberian Huskies) were also killed.

When the news of a meteor shower reached Texas A & M University, the entire football team ran onto to the field with soap and towels!  The Aggie science department quickly announced that although the comet was white, there was also a black version in the solar system.  (I believe it’s called “Alex Haley’s Comet.)  How exciting!

AND NOW FOR SOME LOCAL NEWS…..     I am delighted to report that my dear friend Sharon Francia (a loyal blog follower) recently returned from Las Vegas, where she is rumored to have wed an ELVIS IMPERSONATOR!  The wedding, and subsequent morning divorce, took place at the Flamingo Hotel & Casino.  Apparently, Ms. Francia was inspired by some reading material in her possession.  (An autographed copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT.)  In any case, we all wish her well, regardless of whether or not she comes up with the bail bond.

I spent a lovely morning with Miss Melinda (Perez) last week.  If you ever need a great massage, this is the lady to call.  While I was there, she told me that I had the body of a much younger man.  (Who is Governor Christie?)  By the way, if you ever need any rehab work, you should try “rolfing,” and I would suggest that you contact Will Ravenel at Castle Hill Fitness.  (Will is known as “The Miracle Worker” here in Austin.)

Finally, for those that have inquired, I successfully rebuffed an attempt by the Chinese Military to hack into my ELVIS PRESLEY BLOG SITE!  Oh, those commie bastards tried their best, but truth, justice, and the American way prevailed!  Beware of this dastardly scheme!  Be vigilant!  You might receive an email from an inscrutable “Medical Researcher” from Rice University!  They might ask if you have any spare change, or a spare rib.  Do not be fooled!  He is just trying to “Shanghai” your funds!

Well, if there are no more questions, I will sign off.  However…  I leave you with a final point to ponder… If Jimmy cracks corn and on one cares, why is there a song about him??   Hmmm…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

BINGLE….. BANGLE….. BUNGLE…..

I REALLY LOVE THE JUNGLE!  Believe it or not, these were the opening lyrics to a popular song of the 1930’s.  (The second verse was….”Bongo Bongo  Bongo, I don’t want to leave the Congo!)  If  you ask me, these verses were sinfully bad.  One might say “vice verses.”  It would certainly be difficult to get much verse.  By the way, I know a lot about versailles because I went to musical school in upstate New York.  (Sing Sing)  While I was there I wrote a soap opera.  Would you like me to hum a few “bars”   All right, enough Sunday morning puns…. let’s move on, as we have a lot of ground to cover.  (Fear not, I am a gardener and I’m familiar with ground cover.)

Item One:   Hocus pocus, try to focus….  I really am heading for the jungle.  After I finish this blog, I will be packing my knapsack with mosquito repellent and Kaopectate!  Why for?  Because I am heading to the jungles of Belize and Honduras in search of a lost Aztec civilization of cannabis and head-hunters.  I do not expect to be successful.  (Mainly because the Aztec Indians lived in South America.)   Nevertheless, I will be exploring some remote regions with my intrepid band of A.P.E.S.    (Austin Poker Enthusiasts & Sailors)  Assuming that I am not eaten by a horde of Piranhas, I shall keep you informed of my whereabouts.  Those piranha fish are very smart.  I hear they’re always in schools.  (And they hate to play “hooky.”)  Sound dangerous.  On a “scale” of one to ten, this will be a ten.  If it was a five, it would be a “fin.”   (Something fishy about this routine!)

Item two:   The book signing that was scheduled for Tegucigalpa has been cancelled due to the fact that our local host (a pleasant drug cartel gentleman) will be incarcerated for the next twenty to thirty years.  I’ll let you know if he gets an early release or escapes.

Item three:  MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE (my second mystery novel) has just completed the first round of literary scrutiny (i.e., editing) and has been returned to the publisher for a second check.  Hopefully, we will still be on track for a publication date of March 1st.   (I know your lives are on hold until then.)

Item four:  I did not receive an invitation to the Inaugural Ball, so I called the White House to find out why.  The receptionist told me not to hold my breath.  That made me blue.  (Whenever I feel blue, I breathe.  Always helps.)  Anyway, I missed the big party.  Truthfully, I thought the First Lady looked very pretty, but I did not like her new hairdo.  (To me it was sort of a “hair-don’t.”)  However, she did get some “bangs for her buck.”  Cute cut, but she looked like one of the Supremes.  (No, not the judges!)

Item five:   I only have one thing to say about the debt ceiling problem…..   “Money is the roof of all evil.”

Item six:  I had a delightful book signing/speaking engagement in the town of Gonzales, which is about an hour south of Austin.  If you ever drive down there, check out the Memorial Museum and then head to the historic downtown center.  If you enjoy Mexican food (who doesn’t?) grab some lunch at the Matamoros Taco Hut.  After eating there you will not need to stop for gas, so I would walk around town and take in the sights.  (Gonzales, for you history buffs, is where they had the famous cannon with the banner “Come and take it!”   Those Texians were a tough group of boys.  (Big shots, too.)  The cannon still works, so don’t stick your head into the barrel.  (Takes forever to get loose.)

Item six:   Congratulations to my dear friend Leigh Ann Woodward, who finished 5th in a MAJOR poker tournament up in Choctaw, Oklahoma.  The woman is charming, lovely, and a fierce competitor.  Well done, madam!  We (your poker buddies in Austin) are very proud of your accomplishment.  (Send me some money.)

Item seven:  A big American patriotic THANK YOU to Matt Houser, who is soon to be deployed in the service of our country.  Matt is the husband of Sarah (Williams) Houser, who was one of my very best students at St. Edward’s University.  Sarah and Matt are the type of young folks that  make this country great, and I am proud to have them as friends.  Best of luck, Matt!  (We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.)

Item eight:   Another round of thanks to my dearest travel mate Barbara Talbott.   (Barbara, as you might know, was “Miss Indiana” during her younger days in Munchie, I mean, Muncie.)  She recently bestowed upon thee a very appropriate gift….  a shirt that read….  “Stay Clam And Proofread.”    Sad, but true.  (I wear it almost every day!)

Item nine:  In case you’re keeping track, I have been doing very well at poker.  Playing under the nom de plume of “The Cobra,” I finished 5th and 6th in the last two poker tournaments here in lovely Austin.  Today, Sunday, I will be playing in the Central Texas Poker Invitational Championship Tournament.  (Try fitting all that on a shirt!)  The tourney starts at 3 o’clock and should be a lot of fun.  (Especially if they let me deal.)

Item ten:   This one is going to hurt…..  Guess who is ranked number TWO in the overall poker standings???    No, not me.  I’m not even in the top ten!  However, The Corpus Christi Crusher (a/k/a  Patty Yanoff) is ranked number two and very close to taking over the top spot!  I tell you folks, life ain’t fair.  All of the poker academy graduates……   Max, Barbara, Susan, Jeff, Jorene, Sharon, etc……  Well, they are all playing better than the snake!  What’s up with that?

Well, dear friends and followers, I must bid you adieu.  I see a stack of pancakes with my name on it, so duty calls!  Have a wonderful week and try to laugh a little.

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

THE KING OF CLUBS! (BOOK CLUBS)

AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS TALKING ABOUT POKER AGAIN!   AU CONTRAIRE!   (Although there remains some doubt as to whether I am “playing with a full deck!”)

I am happy to report that this week was “Book Club Week” here at the Ponderosa Ranch.  On Monday I had the pleasure of driving down to lovely La Grange, Texas, a charming village approximately 65 miles southeast of Austin.  Whence I arrived, I was warmly welcomed at the Texas Czech Heritage and Cultural Center.  (There were no “bad Czechs” present!)  After a rather brilliant oration, I moseyed on over to Weikel’s Bakery (for a homemade kolache) and then stopped briefly at Prause Meat Market (to sample the smoldering pits!) and pump out my stomach.  I was fortunate to meet the mayor of the town, and during our conversation, I suggested a “town motto.”  (I.E., “Keep Austin Weird”)   Every town has one, I said to his honor.  So….. I suggested this little doosey…..   “The Range near La Grange ain’t too Strange!”     (I’ve been waiting for my first royalty check from the city fathers, and just to be nice, I offered to accept payment in kolaches.)

AND NOW FOR A SHORT COMMERCIAL BREAK……    On Tuesday I had one of the very best deep tissue massages of my life!  (Courtesy of Ms. Rebecca Lee, my jet setter daughter who is off to Hawaii and Japan on Tuesday)  If you live in Austin, you must contact the one and only Melinda Perez  (melindaperez.lmt@gmail.com) and you will not be disappointed!  The young lady is simply divine!  (I should know, because I have been touched by many women (the price of fame) and because when I was a lad, I wanted to be a massage therapist!)  However, they told me that I “rubbed people the wrong way,” so I did not purse my rubbing license.  Ah well, Melinda is much better.

FAST FORWARD TO THURSDAY!  (Evening)   Another stellar (actually, cellar) performance….. this time at the most famous and influential book club in LAKEWAY!   Due to popular demand (and a slow week) my agent, Black Bart Berkowitz, was able to “book me” at the Lakeway mansion of Mrs. Jaime Rubenstein, the leading Grand Dame of Literature in the Central Texas area.  My goodness, what a treat!  The dear woman served a formal sit-down dinner (with chairs!) in her beautiful dining room, complete with high quality wines (with corks!) superb place settings (with forks!) and a meal fit for….. a KING!  (Obviously a reference to the book we discussed…..  THE PRESLEY PLOT.)    It was not easy being surrounded by good food and wine, and a roomful of women hanging on my every word, but I managed to maintain my composure, keep most of my clothes on, and deliver another sterling performance.  (the forks were sterling, too.)   I wish to thank Madame Rubenstein for arranging this wonderful event.  A fine time was had by all!

SPEAKING OF FINE TIMES……   Happy Birthday Wishes to Jill Crocker and Carol Yondola Finkelstein, two lovely ladies who are celebrating their 39th birthday this week!  (Did I get the age thing right, ladies?)

AND SINCE WE ARE ON THE SUBJECT OF BIRTHDAYS……   Last Tuesday was ELVIS PRESLEY’S birthday.  If the King had lived, do you know how old he would be?  (Better sit down for this one)   Incredibly, Elvis would be 78 years old!   Yikes, how time flies when you’re having fun!

AND SPEAKING OF FUN…..  The famous art department at Aberdeen Bay Publishers came up with a “knock-out” book cover for my second mystery novel, titled, MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE.  I simply loved the initial design, and was blown away by how it caught the eye.  (No hints!)  However, I can tell you that the cover is very mysterious (duh) and very unusual in a good sense.  If I am permitted to do so, I will post a “rough draft” of the cover on a future blog.

Finally, since several of my brilliant blog followers have inquired about upcoming projects, let me share some news with thee…..   The third “Adam Gold” mystery (DEVIL’S COVE) is being professionally edited as we speak, and it should be at the typist some time around March 15th, 2013.   The fourth book in the series, RANSOM ON THE RHONE, is being written at a slightly slower pace, not because of “writer’s block,” but because I am busy putting the finishing touches on my first NON-FICTION book, THE SECOND MOURNING.  (THE UNTOLD STORY OF AMERICA’S MOST BIZZARE POLITICAL MURDER)     God willing, the non-fiction book will be published some time during the summer.  I think you folks are really going to enjoy this one, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I (finally) won the Pulitzer Prize.  (Depends on the dang judges.)  I wish there was a way to bribe those dudes.

Anyway, I digress.  I trust I have answered your various inquiries.  Please keep those cards and letters (and royalty checks) coming.  I do appreciate your blog loyalty and look forward to chatting with you again in the very near future.

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

(AND I DON’T MIND IF YOU STAND UP AND SHOUT IT!)

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure (and more money) to inform you that Aberdeen Bay Publishing has just (yesterday) agreed to publish……  my second mystery novel!

Yes, it’s true!  The second “Adam Gold Mystery” will be available to the general public (and certain penal institutions) on or about MARCH 1, 2013!

For those of you on the Pulitzer Committee, the name of this book is……  MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE.      As some of you know, Maiden Lane is located in the Financial District of Lower Manhattan.  In fact, the lovely lane is right around the corner from my old insurance office on John Street.  Maiden Lane has quite a checkered past (much like my high school girlfriend) but is most famous for two things…… being in the heart of the “high risk” insurance neighborhood, and being the home of Captain Kidd, the famous American pirate.

AND SINCE WE ARE ON THE SUBJECT OF PIRATES…….    I shall now share with you the exact “book cover blurb” that will appear on the back cover of the new book…. right above my new and improved photograph…..   (Let me know if it grabs your attention!)    If so, you can grab the book on Amazon.com when it becomes available…….   All right, here goes…….

“WHILE EXCAVATING A VACANT LOT IN LOWER MANHATTAN, WORKERS UNEARTH A 300-YEAR-OLD SKELETON AND SOME COINS THAT MIGHT BE PART OF A PIRATE TREASURE.  THE DISCOVERY HALTS THE CONSTRUCTION OF A SKYSCRAPER, DRAWING THE IRE OF CORRUPT POLITICIANS, GREEDY DEVELOPERS, AND THE MAFIA.  IT ALSO ATTRACTS THE ATTENTION OF A MYSTERIOUS YOUNG WOMAN WHO CLAIMS TO BE A DESCENDANT OF A FAMOUS PIRATE….. A WOMAN WHO IS WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET HER HANDS ON THE TREASURE!”

Well, there you have it.  The cover is in the “design phase” as we speak, and will be a bold presentation of color and content.  (Much like me)   If I get an opportunity, I will post some of the first designs to give my blog followers a sense of how a fiction book is put together.  I think you will find the process quite interesting.

AND NOW FOR SOME OTHER NEWS…….       CONGRATULATIONS to Ms. Rebecca Lee Yanoff, who has a brand new position in Austin.  A commercial development project coordinator for a prestigious local firm that is about to build the very first “high end” luxury day spa in the city!  Rebecca’s responsibilities are numerous, and in order to build an authentic Japanese facility, the firm is sending her (and the marketing genius) to ……….  Hawaii and Japan!    Yep, you read that right.  My little girl will be spending four or five days in MAUI (Wowee!) and then fly to TOKYO AND OSAKA to interview some of the leading Asian spa owners on the island.  The idea is to see and learn what makes a world-class facility.  When the Austin project is complete, they want Rebecca to manage (and partially own!) the spa.  So……  hooray for Rebecca-san!    (But remember, no blow fish!)

A big shout out and congratulations also to Mr. Adam Zell……   the First Place Winner of the “River Place New Year Poker Championship!”     Adam played very well and beat some terrific poker players (including me!) on his way to the final heads-up competition.   It was looking grim until the lad got lucky on the river and pulled a Jack of clubs, giving him a very sweet flush!  He won a substantial amount of money.  (None of which he shared with me!)  What’s up with that?

More congratulations to one of my long-time blog followers…….   Mrs. Rita York-Hennecke…… the beautiful daughter of the beautiful Portuguese Princess Helena Bomblatus.  Rita has recently discovered that she is “with child,” as they say in Kansas.  Her pregnancy is wonderful news!  I’m sure she will have a gorgeous baby.  (If she has a boy, I think “Stephen” would be a wonderful name.  Just saying.)  Best wishes to Rita and Mike!

FOR MY ADORING ELVIS FANS…….   (OR SHOULD I SAY, “ADORABLE”)  …….  DID YOU KNOW……  That on this day in 1957, Elvis made the last of his three appearances on the Ed Sullivan Show?  (Which was filmed at the Maxine Elliot Theatre on W. 39th Street.)   I used to go there when I was a youngster, but I missed this show.  Too bad.  The King sang “Hound Dog.” “Don’t Be Cruel,” “Love Me Tender,” and “Heartbreak Hotel.”     Wow!  Imagine hearing the big guy sing all four of those classics!  (By the way, this is the infamous performance where the network would only film Elvis from the waist up!)   Just think of how far we’ve come (descended) from those days!  Now all television is a “waist.”  (Waste)     Incidentally, after the show, which was a “really big show,” Elvis took the midnight train home to Memphis!  Well, at least he was on the “right track” back then!   Amusing to think that there were no flights to Memphis at the time.

In closing, I would like to tell you that THE PRESLEY PLOT has now been purchased (and hopefully read!) in 40 different countries around the globe!  God Bless the internet!  We should all be grateful to Al (Jazeera) Gore for inventing the darn thing in his spare time.  Thanks to the world wide web, great literature (and my books) can be shared with uneducated heathens and unrepentant criminals in all four corners of the globe!  (By the way, how can a globe have corners?  The dang thing is round!  Just saying.)

Well, I wish you a happy and healthy week and a wonderful post-New Year period.  Drop me a line when you can, and thanks again for following my weekly rant.

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff