DRIBS AND DRABS…..

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A DRIB AND A DRAB??   (Me neither)  Well as they say in guitar class, don’t fret.  They basically mean the same thing.  (“A small drop”)  Some folks think that the word “Drib” is short for “Dribble.”   They are wrong.  You can’t get much shorter than a drib.  And by the way, speaking of shortening words….  How come the word “Abbreviation” is so darn long?  Does that make sense to you?  (Me neither)  Such is the English language, which just happens to be one of 2,700 languages in the world.  (Composed of roughly 750,000 words!)  Oddly enough, I can only spell 10% of them.  Bummer dude.

AND NOW FOR SOME DRIBS AND DRABS…….   I had my hour-long telephone interview with AMAZON BOOK CLUB on Monday.  The conversation went very well and the good folks at Amazon will be dedicating a FULL PAGE to THE PRESLEY PLOT sometime in the next week or two.  (I will keep you informed.)  They intend to run a full book cover, my photo, and a lengthy review of the book.  The Amazon Book Page will be sent to…..  100,000 websites across the world!  I am very excited about this development.  Book sales should swell.  (Along with my ego!)

Playing under the nom de plume of “THE COBRA,” I entered a huge poker tournament this past week.  The prizes were substantial (But I am loath to mention the amounts, due to my recent I.R.S. Blog followers)  and as usual, I made a fine and slithering show of myself.  I placed SECOND, and would have won if not for a damn “river king.”     Ah well, I still had a great time and raked in some moola.  (Do cows ever rake in “moo-la?”)  Just asking.

Ravi Shankar passed away this week.  The New York Times (a commie rag) described him as a “prolific sitarist,” but I don’t think he was that clever or funny.  The lad was 92, which meant that he “strung us along” for many years.  (So much for satire.)  Speaking of the Times, do you guys remember William Satire, the columnist?  Now he was clever and funny.

Hilary Clinton must be writing a book, too.  I heard she fell down and came up with a conclusion.  (She should quit while she’s still “ahead.”)

I just finished my third mystery novel yesterday!  (Titled…..   “DEVIL’S COVE.”)   The tale is centered around the planned theft of the Gutenberg  Bible from the Ransom Center in Austin.  After I finished it, I realized that I could write a “healthier” sequel for folks on a special diet.  In the second book, the bad guys would try to steal a “Guten-free Bible” made of protein-less wheat!  (They hope to get a lot of “dough” for the book.)   Do this sound like an interesting “slice” of life?  Will Adam Gold “rise” to the occasion?  Will he protect the “upper crust” of society?  These, and many other bad puns, await my dedicated followers!

A word to some of those followers……   Our thoughts and prayers go out to my great friend Max Talbott, who is now in Indiana handling a family situation.  God’s speed, cousin!   Happy belated birthday to a brilliant and beautiful lady named Christine Nickles!  (One of my oldest and dearest friends!)   Hard to believe she’s sixty.  (That means I’m getting older, too!)  A big kiss to Miss Rebecca Lee.  (Suffering from allergies)  I hope you are feeling better today!   A huge “Thank You” to the Fort Worth chapter of the Presley fanatics.  They purchased a large amount of books recently.  If you need some autographs, just let me know and I’ll meet you at the Stockyards!  (And buy you a big steak!)

SPEAKING OF ELVIS PRESLEY……   On this day, in 1956, The King made his 50th (and final) appearance on “Louisiana Hayride.”    And more importantly……  Elvis must have been a little chilly, because he was just about to be contacted by his local “draft board!”   (You’re in the Army now!)     One last item….. also on this day, in 2004, Lisa Marie Presley announced that she would keep Graceland, but sell the bulk of the Elvis estate.  (Which she did, for…..  $100,000,000!)   Not bad for a hillbilly singer.

Well, I hope I have brought some cheer into your lives.  (This has been a rough week for a lot of us.)    Please take good care of yourselves and have a wonderful week.   (As the Jewish gastroenterologist once said…..  “This too shall pass!”)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT!

WHEN I SAY “ENGAGEMENT” I AM REFERRING TO….. Speaking engagements!  I have two interesting events scheduled for this coming week.  First, I will be regaling an audience of “seasoned citizens” at the Austin Senior Center, which is always fun.  Wisdom comes with age.  (So do Social Security checks.)   On Thursday, I shall be having a delightful brunch with the charming ladies of the River Place Book Club.  These wonderful women have invited me to a gourmet feast, followed by a fascinating lecture centered around THE PRESLEY PLOT and my recent  foray into the cut-throat world of publishing!  The event is being hosted by Claudia Tobias, a truly remarkable woman who donates many long hours to various charitable groups in our community.  I think this will be great fun and I am looking forward to a lively discussion.  (I know some of these ladies from the River Place Garden Club and they are a smart and worldly group.)

And speaking of smart and lively women….. Leigh Ann Woodward, one of the sweetest and most talented poker players in Texas, recently hosted the 8th Annual Kings & Queens Poker Event at her lovely country estate in Lago Vista last night.  I have played in this tournament several times (and done remarkably well, I might add) so I know how much fun it is, and I also know that it attracts some very good poker players.  The evening is filled with great drinks, great food, and great company!  Unfortunately, I could not play this year, but I am anxious to hear who won.  In any case, Leigh Ann should be congratulated for throwing one of the best Christmas-time events of the season!

Since I have been writing about South Africa recently, I think I should mention that we now have 12 new blog followers in that fascinating country!  G’day mates!  (Australian is as close as I can come!)  Rachel (my daughter) and Adam (the son-in-law) recently returned from your beautiful country and they loved it!  Of course, being related to me, you might expect one or two (how shall I put this?) “Mishaps.”     For instance, when they went to Robben Island to view Nelson Mandela’s jail cell, the guard told them that “Nelson spent 18 years on this island.”  Rachel, being a chip off the old block, asked, “Which one, Ricky or David?”    Adam wasn’t much better.  He told the guard that if Mandela had been Jewish they wouldn’t have kept him in a jail cell.  (Jewish people eat “locks.”)  And so it went……   Surprisingly, we still have diplomatic relations with South Africa.

AND NOW FOR SOME ELVIS PRESLEY NEWS…..     I have some very exciting news for all of my fans and blog followers….. THE PRESLEY PLOT has been chosen to receive a “full book review,” by the international website called AMAZON BOOK CLUBS!  This is really great news for me, and once the review is posted, it should attract world-wide attention.  The Amazon Book Club selections are seen by millions of readers throughout the world and they are also posted on just about every social website known to man.  (or woman)  I am very excited about this development and I will keep you posted of my progress.  I should get a “first draft” sometime within the next two weeks.  Just between you and me, this sort of makes up for losing the Nobel Prize for Literature to that Ecuadorian Llama rancher.  (I’d like to “pull the wool” over that guy sometime!)  All right, I have to stop being bitter.  Just let it go.  Keep moving forward.  (But come on, a book about Montezuma’s revenge?  Really?)

Incidentally, just to keep you in the loop, I will (unless there is breaking news) be posting one blog per week from now on.  (No cheering, please.)  My writing commitments (the ones I get paid for!) have recently grown experimentally, I mean, exponentially.  In short, there are not enough hours in the day!  (I think we’re stuck at 24)  I for one would vote for a longer day and a shorter night, but that’s just me.  In any case, I just don’t have enough time to produce such mind-boggling brilliance twice a week and still play poker.  I hope I have not disappointed anyone.  You must go on with your lives.  Forget about me.  (Not entirely, though)  We shall still meet each and every Sunday!  (One more thing to pray for!)

So….. until next Sunday….. I wish you joy and happiness.  (Aren’t those the same things?)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff