How’s that for alliteration? By the way, alliteration has nothing to do with dogs or puppies. (Just saying.) I posted this headline to remind my blog followers that, despite my best intentions, I could not resolve the ongoing dispute between the Nobel Prize Committee and Bob Dylan. (Who sent a lousy note of thanks, instead of showing up for the ceremony.) I offered to fly to Sweden and accept the loot, but they refused to show me the money. I even offered to pretend that I was a (more) famous writer, such as Dylan Thomas. Nope, that wasn’t good enough. Marshal Dylan was out, too. (Do you think James Arness drove a Dodge?) Well, you can’t say that I didn’t try.
Now you know why I prefer the Danish. (Some good pastry jokes here!) I still say that the only good thing about Sweden was Inger Stevens. (And you folks know what happened to that poor girl!) Anyway, I’m not bitter, I just sound it. Personally, I’d rather have that Beverly Hills Award I mentioned last week. (No Lutefisk at our awards dinner!) Time to move on, but don’t be surprised if I ask for a recount. (Everyone else is!)
So what else is new? Well, for one thing, my next book tour (and rum swigging adventure) has finally been announced in the trade papers. However, you don’t have to trade papers to learn my itinerary. Here it is (roughly) subject to final approval from the Dept. of Homeland Insecurity: First, the Cayman Cookout on January 12-15 (featuring the infamous chef, Anthony Mundane) is still questionable, BUT I will definitely have a presence (or some presents) on the following Caribbean islands…. Grand Turk, Puerto Rico, St. Bart’s, Antigua, Tortola, and the Dominican Republic.
All of my (somewhat) brilliant mystery novels, and my (semi) interesting nonfiction masterpiece, THE SECOND MOURNING, will be available at all of the book festivals scheduled for 2017. If you find yourselves in the Caribbean (well, not IN the Caribbean, but near it) you should attend an event. These festivals are really quite interesting (great food and drink) and you will be helping the local economy. (Not to mention enriching me!) Jeez, I said not to mention that! What’s wrong with this blog editor? Anyway, it should be great fun, and another wonderful tax deduction, I mean, literary event.
Speaking of great fun, the winner of our last trivia contest was Judith Freeman of Bozeman, Montana. (Just south of Muleshoe and a little north of Bellylint) Just kidding, I know where Bozeman is, and it is quite lovely. Ms. Freeman gave the correct answer to the following question: “What was the name of Jesse James’ favorite horse?” Her answer? The outlaw had 4 favorites! (Another trick question!) Not only did she get the number right, but she also knew their names! (Katie, Skyrocket, Stonewall, and Red Fox.) Congratulations, and she will now receive a $300 gift card to Home Depot. (God, my blog followers are soooooo smart!)
And since we are on the subject of “congratulations,” allow me to congratulate Mr. Adam Zell, my hard-working, Pittsburg-Steeler-Loving, son-in law, who recently received the Diamond Club Award from Realty Austin (one of our city’s most prominent realtors) for selling over….. (drum roll, please!)….. $10,000,000 in real estate! We are very proud of Adam, and this is truly a great accomplishment. (But slightly below marrying my daughter and producing Miss Goldie!) If the boy was a Yankee fan, he’d be perfect!
Well, dear friends, I must start packing for my next appearance. I have some special events lined up in Houston this coming weekend, and a HUGE party to attend on Wednesday and Thursday. (Thursday is our annual Steiner Ranch Poker & Pilsner Party. Thanks to the generosity of Rich & Sharon Walker (two other great realtors in Austin) we will be celebrating a decade of poker decadence and downright dependency! (I’m really starting to enjoy this alliteration thing.)
We shall chat again upon thy return! (assuming I can find my way out of Houston!) Until then, be well, and God Bless… Love to all,
*** God-willing, there might be a photo or two attached to this blog!