Today would be a good day to channel some history!  Why?  Because today is December 7th, the day that Pearl Harbor was attacked.  (73 years ago!)  President Roosevelt declared that the day would be “A date which will live in infamy.”  True enough, but I’m not so fond of April 15th either!  (I find that date very “taxing.”)

Did you know that one of my relatives was an aviation ace during World War I?  My great uncle Izzy was wounded during a ferocious dogfight with a German dirigible.  (Fortunately, my uncle and the dirigible were both filled with hot air, so this tale will have an “uplifting” ending.)  Uncle Isadore shot down the dirigible only to discover that he had flown off course and actually attacked one of the balloons at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  (Ever wonder why the Popeye balloon is squinting?)

There were other notable events on December 7th … In 43 B.C., Cicero, an Italian orator from Illinois, was assassinated.  In 1787, Delaware became the first state to ratify the Constitution.  In 1868, Jesse James and his gang robbed the bank in Gallatin, Missouri.  (Sadly, they robbed a sperm bank and ended up in a “cell.”)

Speaking of outlaws… my second non-fiction masterpiece will be titled, HELL-BENT IN THE HEARTLAND.  (The Tragic Tale of the Reno Gang.)  God willing, I will finish a rough outline sometime this winter, and then it’s off to the library!  I enjoy the research part, but it is quite laborious, so I might just make up a few things this time around!  (Just kidding.)

Last Thursday marked the annual Steiner Ranch Christmas Barbecue and Poker Tournament.  I played brilliantly, but didn’t win the dang tournament.  (They wouldn’t let me deal!  If they had, I would have done better!)  I ran short of chips at the end, so I tried to bet with pretzels.  No dice.  Anyway, I would like to thank Rich & Sharon Walker for running another great evening, and also Kevin Evans, who generously supplied the barbecue and beer.  A great time was had by all.

Finally, I am pleased as punch (fitting for the holiday season) to announce that I was mentioned not once, but twice, on the recent radio tribute to Charles Dickens.  (Hosted by the talented John Austin, the genius behind The Book Club radio program.)  The program can be found at TanTalk 1340.com.  I was honored to be mentioned in the same sentence as Dickens, but we do have something in common.  He actually wrote an entire book about my honeymoon.  It’s called “GREAT EXPECTATIONS!”  (Please, no jokes about Tiny Tim!)

Well, my friends, I must leave you now.  I am off to the senior center to do some volunteer work.  Hey, before I leave, do you know what they call an alligator in a vest?  (You’d better sit down.)  An “investigator!”  Adam Gold told me that joke!  Take care and have a marvelous week…     Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S.  Another admiring fan!  (Tough life.)