June 15, 2014

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

I think it would be fitting and appropriate to begin today’s blog by wishing all of you fathers out there a Happy Father’s Day. For those of you who live abroad (that would be overseas, not as a woman) I should explain that today is the day when American children honor their dads by giving them the most useless gifts they can find. These gifts usually include, but are not limited to, horrible ties, boxer shorts, heavy metal or rap music, and the always welcomed photo of your children looking like they have just posted bail.

Since I was my dad’s favorite (or one of them) I have fond memories of this uniquely American holiday. If it was a warm June day, my dad would take me to Jones Beach on Long Island and we would do fun things together. Just the two of us. For instance we might play an abbreviated version of hide and seek. (I would hide, but he wouldn’t look for me.) Sometimes he would bury me up to the neck in sand, but he always came back the following weekend to dig me up. (The only negative thing about this game were those pesky high tides.) On clear days we would walk up and down the beach, and my pop would encourage me to collect some seashells, and as many Portuguese Men of War as I could hold. Gosh, those were swell times. (Some of the swells were over my head!)

Speaking of the Portuguese….. Last night was my sixth birthday celebration, this one hosted by the Princess of Portugal and her hubby, Baron Lee. (We do at least six parties to make sure we get things right!) We were all delightfully surprised to encounter Countess Connie at the event. Even more surprised to sample her world-famous rice pudding. It was nearly the perfect dessert. (Mine had a tad too much cinnamon.) There were other guests, but to be perfectly frank, or Steve, they were just assorted riff raff from Steiner Ranch. Nice people, but a little boring.

In case you’re wondering, my latest masterpiece, THE SECOND MOURNING, is quickly climbing up the charts. Unfortunately, the record charts, which is a bit puzzling, but still pretty cool. By the way, my second mystery, THE PIRATE PATH, which is dedicated to my father, has just been re-issued due to popular demand. Talk about good timing! In all seriousness, this was a lovely father’s day surprise for me. You know, I don’t know if I ever mentioned this, but my dad always hoped that his first son was a boy. Which reminds me, do you know that my birthday is the same day as when I was born? Amazing coincidence.

Speaking of giving birth….. I’d like to send my love and best wishes to Laura Talbott and Kellie Hogan, two charming ladies who will soon have a special delivery to share with the world. (Laura is using FedEx, Kellie is going with UPS) Our thoughts and prayers are with you, ladies, so hang in there! Hey, I have a question about the birth process….. Does it take 18 months for TWINS to be born? Just curious.

Well, dear friends, I must leave you now. I am watching the 2014 Brazil World Cup Soccer Tournament. Unfortunately, the dumb announcer has not said which country is hosting the event, but it looks to be a South American venue. Then again, it might be Arkansas.

Y’all have a marvelous day, think of how lucky we were to have such a special father in our lives, and enjoy your week. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S. As a super special Father’s Day treat, I am attaching a rare photograph from last week’s book signing in Austin, Texas. We were astonished to discover that Robert Stroud’s children (Stroud was the “Birdman of Alcatraz) attended the event and allowed us to take a picture of them. (They were “perched” in the front row.) For contrast, I have included a photograph of some normal human beings.

June 8, 2014

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER!

Yes, this happens to be the title of a wonderful film about the Titanic. (1958) And yes, it is also the title of a short article about my honeymoon. (1978) However, I am not referring to either of these remarkable events, but rather to the hugely successful book signing event that occurred last Friday evening. (Still, I find it somewhat amusing that the Titanic went down in water, and I went down in flames!) Where was I? Oh yes, the book signing…..

Well, as expected, we had a standing-room only crowd. (They forgot to put out chairs.) Just kidding, there were plenty of chairs and lots of folks. In fact, I was told by the book store staff that we had one of the larger crowds of the year! I would like to thank each and every person who came downtown on a busy Friday night to attend this special event. It was so great to see all of my family and friends, and some not-so-well disguised reps from Murder Ink Press and Penguin Books lurking behind some shelves. (These two rascals are the co-publishers of my books.)

For those who missed the gala event, you can watch the entire show on PBS this Sunday night. I’m not sure what time it will air, but I think it will follow an intriguing Bill Moyers documentary about Indonesian sea sponges and the effect they are having on global warming. Speaking of sponges…… I just read that the original Bergdahl swap included Joe Biden. (The Taliban said no!) Poor Joe. He recently offered to escort a young lady to the senior prom, but her father nixed the offer. (He didn’t know what Joe Biden did for a living!)

Frankly, most folks don’t know what I do for a living. Neither do I, but it seems to be working. My intention is to live forever, or die trying. Accordingly, I have recently signed my fifth book contract with the good folks at Murder Ink Press. They will be publishing the 4th “Adam Gold Mystery” sometime in late August or early September. The book is titled “RANSOM ON THE RHONE” and it takes place in Europe! (Mainly in England and France) The story involves the theft of a priceless tapestry, and the pre-reviews have been outstanding, so I think you guys are really going to enjoy this one. I will keep you “in the loop” as they say at the Hula Hoop factory.

Meanwhile, I am happy to report that the gift shop at the Elvis Presley Center in Tupelo has asked for more copies of THE GRACELAND GANG. As some of you know, I met with the folks who run the place and they generously offered to sell my book at the gift shop. (Fifty-fifty split on the proceeds.) Some of my blog followers have asked to see a photo or two from my trip to Tupelo, so I have attached some photographs of me wandering around the grounds. (NOTE: The small white shack is the actual home where Elvis Presley was born!) I hope you enjoy the photos, and I promise to post some more from time to time.

The next book tour on the agenda involves the Caribbean, and I will reveal some interesting details about our trip next Sunday. Tonight marks the official start of “Pool Season” down here in Texas, so I must take my leave to check on the beer and tequila supply. (My wife drinks a lot.) My mother-in-law loved soda. She once drank Canada Dry, but that’s a long story. (They got over it!) So….. until next Sunday…… take care and have a safe and wonderful week! Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

P.S. I would like to thank Judge Susan for NOT asking me about Angelina Jolie during the Q & A session on Friday night. (Brad is really the pits!)

June 1, 2014

THE BIRTHDAY BOY!

Well, as many of you know, (since I have been sending out frequent reminders) last Thursday was my 39th birthday. (In Texas, you’re allowed to celebrate any year you wish!) A gentleman never mentions his age, but I am now old enough to order an alcoholic libation. (At a senior center.) I suppose I should be grateful that I am still, more or less, of sound mind and body. Which reminds me….. If my therapist says, “There’s really nothing more that I can do for you,” that means I’m cured, right?

By the way, I just read that a woman gives birth to a baby every 15 seconds in America. Personally, I think they should find that woman and have a talk with her. Just saying.

Did you know that 3 other famous people were born on May 29th? Patrick Henry, Bob Hope, and JFK. I don’t know what, if anything, they ever accomplished, but I do know that I was recently invited back for another interview on the “American Book Club!” (The nationally syndicated program that follows “Imus In The Morning.”) The good folks at KLRG in Tampa want to discuss THE SECOND MOURNING in another full-length format, which is truly a great honor for me. I’d like to personally thank the host, Jack Drucker, for his continued interest and support.

I don’t know the exact date yet, but I promise to keep you abreast. (Or, if you prefer, a leg or wing.) As they say in sniper school, we aim to please! Speaking of schools….. my new non-fiction book (THE SECOND MOURNING) is currently under consideration at several prominent universities. What are they considering? Whether or not the book should be added to their “Recommended Reading” list! (Two of the schools are in the Ivy League! I will refrain from making any jokes about poison ivy.)

Did you notice that Harvard, Yale, and other major colleges have recently announced another tuition increase? Believe it or not, the AVERAGE cost of a 4-year college education at a private university in now….. $125,000! I should mention that this figure does not include books, food, lodging, alcohol, drugs, or birth control devices. Dude, what a ripoff! When I attended the Dodge City School of Taxidermy & Chiropractic Medicine tuition was only $350 per semester. (Embalming fluids were extra.)

What is this country coming to? When I was a boy, my mother would send me down to the corner store with a dollar and I’d come back with 5 potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, a hunk of cheese, and a dozen eggs. You can’t do that now… too many damn security cameras!

Before I take my leave (which is what Adam said to Eve) I would like to remind you that I will be at a major book-signing and self-adoration event this coming Friday, June 6th. The event will take place at 7 p.m. down at BookPeople on Lamar Blvd. Please feel free to bring your family and friends and some hard currency. Also, somebody should call Mrs. Barbara Talbott to remind her of the date and time. (I’ve already sent 10 emails.)

In closing, I would like to leave you with some wise words from Albert Einstein, the owner (I think) of Einstein Bagels….. “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” I wonder if he was referring to mystery authors? Hmmm.

Have a safe and wonderful week! Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

May 25, 2014

LEST WE FORGET…..

TOMORROW IS MEMORIAL DAY! That being the case, I would like to start with a huge THANK YOU to all who have served in our nation’s military. We appreciate your service to our country and I salute you for your efforts to keep us free. God bless each and every one of you! I don’t know if I ever mentioned it, but my father was in the Army Air Corps during World War II. Airman Yanoff flew across the Atlantic Ocean on a B-24 (a rare event at the time) and served as a tail-gunner during the campaign in North Africa.

I used to kid my father about the first 3 aircraft he shot down. I told him that he would have gotten a medal if they hadn’t been BRITISH aircraft! He would laugh, and then tell me that he might have gotten a medal AND a promotion if they had been FRENCH aircraft! Like most men who served back then, he had a sense of humor about his experience, but was also very proud of his involvement.

Thanks to Sgt. Max Talbott, I received a long-overdue medal for “good conduct” from the U.S. Air Force. (I tried to enlist, but failed the entrance exam.) I received the medal (after a 30-year wait) because I returned the test pencil! Better late than never. Not to brag, but I once worked for the Salvation Army. I was stationed in Times Square, and if I remember correctly, I raised quite a bit of money. (Of which I only kept half.) Hard service, but somebody had to do it.

In case you’re wondering, our Friday night food festival was a big success. We had the pleasure of entertaining the Princess of Portugal and her wealthy hubby, Baron Lee. Judge Susan was also in attendance, as well as some uninvited guests….. which brings us to the main course….. roast COATIMUNDI! (A truly amazing delicacy from South America.) Trust me, you haven’t dined lavishly until you’ve eaten a ring-tailed Coati with fried onion rings. After dinner, we watched “Fiddler On The Roof,” which seemed oddly appropriate, since that is where we caught the main course.

If I sound like I’m rambling, it’s because I’ve only had one cup of coffee. Still, I think I’ve discovered a Sunday morning pattern….. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Yes, these are the five stages of waking up! What a gift to be young (?) and talented! Reminds me of an old adage….. “Talent is good. Practice is better. Passion is best.” Frank Lloyd Wright said that, he knew about talent. He and his brothers, Orville and Wilbur invented the first airplane….. the one that flew at Kitty Wells.

In closing, I would like to thank all of my blog followers for supporting my recent literary effort. (THE SECOND MOURNING) I have been fortunate to receive some excellent reviews, but I am fully prepared for a bad review! If and when I receive some unkind words, I shall order the following license plate for that mean old person….. are you ready?

How do you like this plate? 370HSSV

To get the full effect, you must read the plate upside down!

Yes, I know, talent on loan from God! Have a safe and wonderful week! Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

May 18, 2014

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN NON-FICTION, TOO!

BELIEVE IT OR NOT….. 3 days after the publication of my first non-fiction book, THE SECOND MOURNING, (The True Story of President Garfield’s assassination) thieves broke into Garfield’s tomb in Cleveland, Ohio!! No joking. Vandals shattered a window to get inside a 180-foot-tall monument at Lakeview Cemetery in Cleveland Heights!

Interestingly, Garfield’s casket is the ONLY Presidential casket on full display for the public to view. (He’s buried beside his wife, Lucretia.) The thieves stole some silver spoons from a glass display case, but they were not able to reach the coffins. They couldn’t have lifted them out anyway. Too much dead weight. (Ouch!)

In case you’re wondering, I had NOTHING to do with the break-in, and furthermore, I have an air-tight alibi. Still, you have to admit that the timing is a little suspicious. Book comes out, grave robbers go in. Hmmm.

I’d like to thank my friend, and poker buddy, Kevin Evans, for sending me the link about the break-in. If you want to read the full story, just go to: http://www.foxnews.com (Published on 5/11/14.)

Incidentally, I am happy to report that THE SECOND MOURNING has sold over 300 copies on Amazon.com alone! (Not counting Kindle and Nook.) I’d like to thank all of my blog followers who have purchased a book, and please remember that anyone who buys 3 or more copies can audition for the movie role of Charles Guiteau. (The deranged psychopath who shot Garfield.) Yeah, I know. They don’t make guys like me anymore.

Speaking of rare guys… I’d like to say “top o’ the mornin'” to my good friend Max Talbott (and his lovely lass, Barbara) who are presently vacationing in Ireland. They are having a grand time, but Max got into a little trouble in Belfast. Apparently, he walked into a bank and inquired about opening an I.R.A. (I think they’ve been outlawed. So has Max.)

My wife’s maiden name was McCloskey, and she told me that she was recently at an authentic Irish wedding where the M.C. made the following announcement: “Would all the married men please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living.” (The bartender was almost crushed to death!) And since we’re on the subject of crushes, please remember that if you love books (or me) you are invited to attend a gala book signing event on Friday, June 6, at 7 p.m. The event will be held at BookPeople on Lamar Blvd. (Next to Whole Foods.) Free admission, free parking, free porches. (Just kidding about the cars.)

By the way, I’m sorry this blog came out a little late today, but I just got back from another wild weekend in Boerne, Texas. My brother-in-law, Tim McCloskey was celebrating his 60th birthday, so he and the lovely Miss Hannah threw a lavish party at their one-of-a-kind ranch. Unfortunately for me, they had some authentic “moonshine,” which tasted mighty smooth going down, but it had a bit of a kick. (From what I recall, it was a very long night.)

In closing, I would like to mention a new survey that said that 55 percent of Americans think they are smarter than the “average American.” Damn, that’s almost half. The same study indicated that 1 in 10 Americans no longer carry cash. (They’re called Liberal Arts Majors.) Well, have a safe and prosperous week! Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

May 4, 2014

THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER!

DON’T ASK ME WHY, but for some ungodly reason I actually volunteered to “dog sit” my two grand-dogs this week. Baker is a cockapoo, eleven years old, and rather well behaved. Romy is a labradoodle, still a puppy, and proof positive that mental illness is hereditary. (You get it from your children!) Yep, little Romy is adorable, but hell on wheels. How can one dog chew on sooooo many different substances? You’d think metal and rocks would be off-limits, but not with this little lady! Her motto is thus: “I came. I saw. I chewed to shreds.”

As you can tell, I am having a “ruff” week, but this too shall pass. (Won’t it?) My daughters are off to weddings and vacations in San Diego and Hawaii, and I’m stuck at the dog pound! (And believe me, there are times when I’d like to pound you-know-who, but she’s just too dang cute for words!) Baker is white (which rhymes with right) and Romy is brown. (Which rhymes with “nervous breakdown.”) Why couldn’t my daughters get cats like other kids?

Oddly enough, I also had an unusual week book-wise. As many of you know, THE SECOND MOURNING was recently published, and thanks to folks like you, is doing quite well in the sales department. (Over two hundred books were sold on the first two days alone!) However, I spent most of the week discussing THE GRACELAND GANG, as the Elvis Presley Center in Tupelo was interested in obtaining some more books for their gift shop. What started as a simple phone call, ended up as a full-fledged interview with their newsletter editor. (By the way, a number of buildings were severely damaged in Tupelo during last week’s storm, but the Presley Center was spared. Definitely ‘Divine Intervention!’)

During my telephone interview, the editor asked me about the most surprising thing I discovered about Elvis Presley. There were plenty of surprises, but one of the most interesting was the fact that Gladys Presley’s grandmother was Jewish. (Gladys was Elvis Presley’s adored mother.) Interestingly, The King was quite fascinated with his religious ancestry, and during his lifetime he wore a “chai necklace” and often carried yarmulke in his pocket!

When I visited Graceland, I met one of the caretakers, and he told me something intriguing that I did not know… Elvis actually spoke Hebrew and often sang in the Hebrew language! The next time you go to Memphis, go to Graceland, and you will notice that his mother’s tombstone (She is buried in Meditation Garden) is engraved with a “Star of David,” to acknowledge her own roots. If you would like to learn more, just buy a copy of THE GRACELAND GANG, and you will be ready to go on a quiz show and win some big bucks!

Did you read the Wall Street Journal on Friday? A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it. Hmmm.

A funny thing happened to my neighbor last week. He went to a dude ranch in Bandera, Texas, and rode a donkey! (He’s afraid of horses.) While he was riding the range, a horse kicked up a rock and knocked him off the donkey. Don’t worry, he wasn’t injured. In fact, he just got stoned off his ass. (Ouch!)

I don’t mean to be annoying, but please don’t forget to SAVE THE DATE. (Friday, June 6, 2014.) As some of you know, I will speaking at BookPeople in downtown Austin at 7 p.m. You are all invited, and please remember, everything is free. (Free admission, free parking, free books.) All right, I’m lying about the books, but everything else is free! Hopefully, the margarita machine will be working!

Well, my friends, it is time to take the dogs to the butcher, I mean, the park. (Freudian slip!) I do hope that my daughters appreciate me. (and my wife, who is doing the early morning shift.) I fully expect not only a case of beer, but an ocean-front condominium in the resort area of my choosing!) Ideally, a condominium resort that does NOT allow pets!!

Love to all, and please, keep me in your prayers!!

Doc Yanoff (And “Ma Barker!”)

April 27, 2014

“THE SECOND MOURNING” ARRIVES!!

WELL, IT TOOK A WHILE, BUT MY “BABY” WAS FINALLY “DELIVERED” TO THE PRINTER LAST FRIDAY! What a sweet bundle of joy. Looks just like his father. 500 pages of parental pride, now available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Kindle, Nook, and a huge number of bookstores throughout the free world. (And several counties in Arkansas.) Yep, my first non-fiction masterpiece, THE SECOND MOURNING, can now be purchased by the general public! Please, hold your applause. On second thought, I think I deserve a standing ovulation. Hey, I just “gave birth” to new creation. (The heck with a simple ovation!) After delivering 500 + pages I’m just glad I didn’t deliver twins. (A two-volume set.)

Truthfully, the process was invigorating, but somewhat stressful. (i.e., Try to imagine 731 endnotes!) Nevertheless, my incredible discoveries are fully documented. Personally, I don’t know why I needed so many references. I just figured out that I’m right 97% of the time. Who cares about the other 4%? Not me. After I finished the book, I checked myself into the Hokey Pokey Clinic in Austin. (I wouldn’t to “turn myself around.”) While I was recuperating I had some very profound thoughts….. For instance….. Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror!

Don’t fret about your weight, either. I’ve decided I’ll never get down to my original weight and I’m okay with that….. After all, 7lbs. 6oz. is just not realistic. Thus, I have formally given up exercise! That’s right, no more exercise for this author! Look, if walking was good for you, the postman would be immortal. Right? Heck, whales swim all day, mainly eat fish, and drink just water….. and they’re all fat! Nothing but blubber! Just remember, my healthy blog followers, a rabbit runs and hops all day long, but only lives 15 years. (A tortoise, on the other hand, moves very slowly and lives 450 years!) Do the math, my friends!

I once saw a tortoise at a Shell Station, but that’s another story. Speaking of other stories, Mrs. Emily Martin won last week’s trivia contest. (German immigrants introduced the Easter Bunny and also brought over….. pretzels!) Would you like another question? Fine. Tell me the make of pistol that Charles Guiteau used to shoot President Garfield. (Dr. Max Talbott, my weapons consultant, is NOT eligible to enter this contest!) One answer per follower, please.

ONE SMALL FAVOR TO ASK….. If you purchase a copy of THE SECOND MOURNING would you please be kind enough to leave a nice review of the book on Amazon.com? Favorable reviews translate into advertising dollars from the publisher, so you would be doing me a HUGE favor. Thank you very, very much.

Well, I must run… tonight we are attending a special dinner, hosted by the amazingly talented chef, Mrs. Pat Cutrone. (The “Legend of Lakeway.”) I’m hoping to read the first 30 chapters of my new book (aloud) but the other guests might have a problem digesting their dinner! (Which is why I always travel with a case of books and a case of Alka-Seltzer!) Have yourself a safe and pleasant week, and we shall meet again next Sunday! Love to all…

Doc Yanoff

March 9, 2014

GOOD NEWS TRAVELS FAST!

A LOT FASTER THAN ME ON THE INTERSTATE! Fellow travelers, I am proud to announce that I recently signed a new book contract, and that in mid-April, my fourth masterpiece will be published! (Just in time to pay my taxes!) Please, hold your applause. (Never mind, clap!) Murder Ink Press, in collaboration with Penguin Publishers, will be publishing my first non-fiction book, titled THE SECOND MOURNING. (The True Story of America’s Most Bizarre Political Murder.) The book will reveal the true events surrounding the assassination of President James A. Garfield, our twentieth President. I’m told that it will be available in hard-back, soft-back, and ebook versions. Readers will be able to purchase the book on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Kindle, Nook, and a large number of traditional book stores. (Including BookPeople in Austin, Texas.)

I would like to thank each and every one of our 7,000 blog followers, because without your continued support, none of this would have been possible. You folks are the best and I’m honored to be invited into your homes each Sunday. We gained many new followers on our last book tour, which ended two days ago, and took us to Dallas, Texarkana, Little Rock, Nashville, Chattanooga, Atlanta, Valdosta, Boca Raton, Fort Lauderdale, Tallahassee, Mobile, Baton Rouge, and Houston! Whew, what a drive! Two thousand miles in two weeks!

While we were gone, the Winter Olympics “played out.” You know what that means. American athletes will now be appearing on cereal boxes! (“Flakey” idea. Too “corny.”) I hear that Vladimir Putin wants to put his face on a box of crackers! (Ever heard of “Putin on the Ritz?”) Ouch!

Several of our curious blog followers have asked about my favorite road stop. There were many great stops, but my personal favorite was Lynchburg, Tennessee, the charming town where they produce Jack Daniel’s Sour Mash Whiskey. After a brief tour of the distillery, we sampled some Old No. 7, and from what I remember, our “spirits” were truly lifted! (I think I met a guy named Jim Beam and a fellow named George Dickels, but don’t quote me on that!) If you think I’m joking, I’ve got (ninety) proof!

Speaking of “blithe spirits,” I would like to say happy birthday to Ms. Barbara Talbott, who will be turning 39 or 49 tomorrow. I forget her exact age, but I congratulate Barbara on reaching a new pinochle. (I could have said pinnacle, but she’s a “real card!”) Well, at least she’s playing with a “full deck!” (Unlike me!) Have a great day, darling!

In closing, I would like to remind you that we are now in the midst of Daylight Savings Time. (Why don’t banks ever offer daylight savings accounts?) Anyway, don’t forget the old motto: “Spring back and fall ahead.” Wait a minute, maybe it’s “Spring forward and fall back.” Well, I don’t suppose it really matters. Sooner or later you’ll have the right time.

Well, I’m off to the office to pay some bills, make some excuses, and catch up on my fan mail. (I received a letter from my Mom.) I hope everyone has a safe and happy week. We will chat again next Sunday!

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

P.S. Depending on my computer skills, which are minimal, you might see a photograph attached to this blog post. Be the first to identify the person in the photo and you will win a $50 gift card! (I will post the winner’s name next Sunday.) Good luck!

February 2, 2014

DON’T TOUCH THAT DIAL!

UNLESS YOU’RE TAKING A SHOWER….. Then you may need some soap. Now don’t get yourself in a “lather,” but I have two major announcements….. On Tuesday, March 25, 2014, I will be featured (almost live) on a nationally broadcast radio program called “THE BOOK CLUB.” The show will begin at noon, eastern time, and will be carried from coast to coast on WTAN-AM 1340 in Tampa, Florida, and on KLRG-AM 880 in Little Rock, Arkansas. The interview will also be streamed live via the Internet on: www.tantalk1340.com

The host of the show is Jack Drucker, former Vice-President of Harper and Row Publishers. The program is quite popular and follows the Don Imus Show on stations around the country. (I hope I don’t get any basketball questions)

Jack and I will be discussing my third mystery novel, DEVIL’S COVE. Most exciting, the interview will later be broadcast worldwide, in well over 125 countries! (and Louisiana) Since all of my books have been translated (into French, German, Italian, Spanish, and Chinese) this exposure should result in a large increase in book sales. (and more foreign marriage proposals.)

Speaking of radios, did you know that I once dated MISS EMERSON? (I called her that because she was easy to pick up at night!) She tried to “turn me on” but that only “turned me off” so we were never “in tune.” (I could have made a few jokes about “frequency” but some of my blog followers are under 16.)

Speaking of X-rated events…. wait until you hear about the couple we had dinner with last night! A lovely couple, who used the names “Debra and Fred.” (I have no idea what their real names are.) They had some great “convention tales,” but I’m a little suspicious of them. (The beautiful woman who called herself “Debra” travels around a lot and had one of those very common last names… the ones they use in the Witness Protection Program!)

In closing, I would once again like to thank all of you for making my literary dreams comes true. I could not have done it without you, and frankly, it wouldn’t be as much fun without your friendship and support. Next Sunday’s blog will be sent from….. the Caribbean! I am off on another book tour/tax deductible winter cruise! And yes, the rumors are true, I will be scouting out locations for the movie version of THE PIRATE PATH!

Until we meet again, take care, and love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

January 5, 2014

WHEN YOUR NUMBER IS UP…..

IT’S GREAT NEWS! (IF YOU’RE A WRITER) Otherwise, not so much. The year end blog statistics have recently been published by WordPress, and once again, our little blog has achieved immorality! Make that, immortality. How you ask? Well, first of all, our blog finished in the top 5% of all blogs on the Internet! An amazing accomplishment that I wish to thank you for… no joking, I couldn’t have done it without you guys. Secondly, we had a very healthy increase in readership. We now have….. (drum roll, please) ….. 6,500 followers in 40 countries! All I can say is Wow and Thank You!

Last week, our esteemed publisher announced that THE GRACELAND GANG, THE PIRATE PATH, and DEVIL’S COVE have been translated into several foreign languages….. French, Spanish, Italian, and German! All 3 mysteries are now available in those countries in their native tongue! (I once felt some native tongues, but that’s another story… I was on a study-abroad trip. So, naturally, I studied some broads!) Anyway, this is wonderful news, and all of my books can now be ordered in the above languages on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com

NOW FOR THE BIG BOOK NEWS….. My recently paroled literary agent, Black Bart Berkowitz, scored a major publishing victory on my behalf. My first two books have been approved by some sort of screening committee in Beijing, and they will now be available, in Chinese, throughout the country of China! Hot dog! I mean, egg roll! If our commie friends like inscrutable mysteries, then I’m their man! Seriously though, I would like to thank Mr. Berkowitz (who I never stop teasing) and the government of China. Hopefully, we will make a small fortune, cookie!

Finally, a word of thanks to Mr. Gary Rubenstein, the “Lobster King” of Austin, Texas. He played Santa “Claws” last week and concocted a marvelous lobster casserole for New Year’s Eve. Today, we are celebrating his wife’s 39th birthday at our house… and we went overboard with the food. (Actually, we threw the food overboard, but I digress.) Not to worry, though. Miss Jaime will be pleasantly surprised. (If she likes fast food.)

One last item….. I want to send my love and kisses to a potentially new blog follower who was born last week….. my niece, Lindsay, just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Scarlett. Welcome to our world, Miss Scarlett! I hear you read my last blog and threw up? Personally, I think it was the mashed carrots, but then again, I’m an optimist! Don’t forget to change your diapers frequently, and I wish you well in the maternity ward. (Watch those male babies, and don’t give out your phone number.)

Happy New Year once again! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

Books By Stephen G. Yanoff

suspense novels

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER!

THE BIRTHDAY BOY!

LEST WE FORGET…..

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN NON-FICTION, TOO!

THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER!

“THE SECOND MOURNING” ARRIVES!!

GOOD NEWS TRAVELS FAST!

DON’T TOUCH THAT DIAL!

WHEN YOUR NUMBER IS UP…..