Best Selling Books

June 1, 2014

THE BIRTHDAY BOY!

Well, as many of you know, (since I have been sending out frequent reminders) last Thursday was my 39th birthday.  (In Texas, you’re allowed to celebrate any year you wish!)  A gentleman never mentions his age, but I am now old enough to order an alcoholic libation.  (At a senior center.)  I suppose I should be grateful that I am still, more or less, of sound mind and body.  Which reminds me…..  If my therapist says, “There’s really nothing more that I can do for you,” that means I’m cured, right?

By the way, I just read that a woman gives birth to a baby every 15 seconds in America.  Personally, I think they should find that woman and have a talk with her.  Just saying.

Did you know that 3 other famous people were born on May 29th?  Patrick Henry, Bob Hope, and JFK.  I don’t know what, if anything, they ever accomplished, but I do know that I was recently invited back for another interview on the “American Book Club!”  (The nationally syndicated program that follows “Imus In The Morning.”)  The good folks at KLRG in Tampa want to discuss THE SECOND MOURNING in another full-length format, which is truly a great honor for me.  I’d like to personally thank the host, Jack Drucker, for his continued interest and support.

I don’t know the exact date yet, but I promise to keep you abreast.  (Or, if you prefer, a leg or wing.)  As they say in sniper school, we aim to please!  Speaking of schools…..  my new non-fiction book (THE SECOND MOURNING) is currently under consideration at several prominent universities.  What are they considering?  Whether or not the book should be added to their “Recommended Reading” list!  (Two of the schools are in the Ivy League!  I will refrain from making any jokes about poison ivy.)

Did you notice that Harvard, Yale, and other major colleges have recently announced another tuition increase?  Believe it or not, the AVERAGE cost of a 4-year college education at a private university in now…..  $125,000!  I should mention that this figure does not include books, food, lodging, alcohol, drugs, or birth control devices.  Dude, what a ripoff!  When I attended the Dodge City School of Taxidermy & Chiropractic Medicine tuition was only $350 per semester.  (Embalming fluids were extra.)

What is this country coming to?  When I was a boy, my mother would send me down to the corner store with a dollar and I’d come back with 5 potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, a hunk of cheese, and a dozen eggs.  You can’t do that now…  too many damn security cameras!

Before I take my leave (which is what Adam said to Eve) I would like to remind you that I will be at a major book-signing and self-adoration event this coming Friday, June 6th.  The event will take place at 7 p.m. down at BookPeople on Lamar Blvd.  Please feel free to bring your family and friends and some hard currency.  Also, somebody should call Mrs. Barbara Talbott to remind her of the date and time.  (I’ve already sent 10 emails.)

In closing, I would like to leave you with some wise words from Albert Einstein, the owner (I think) of Einstein Bagels…..  “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”  I wonder if he was referring to mystery authors?  Hmmm.

Have a safe and wonderful week!  Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

March 13, 2013

BEWARE THE TIDES OF MARCH!

FRANKLY, MY DEAR, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY JULIE CAESAR WAS SO CONCERNED ABOUT TIDAL FLUCTUATIONS…..   But perhaps the emperor was not an “out-going” fellow after all!  In any case, “Idus Marti,” (Latin) corresponds with March 15th (two days from now) so you should be aware of “March Madness” in all of its many forms.  Personally, I think April 15th is a much scarier day, that being “Tax Day” in the good old U.S. of A.    I imagine it would be even more scary if I actually had a job.

Speaking of March Madness, did you know the “Ides” were determined by the full moon, and were usually the 13th day of the month?  (Hence the number “13” being unlucky.)

In Bill Shakespeare’s play, “Julius Caesar,” the emperor is warned about the ides of March by a soothsayer.  Sooth you say?  Yes, and the sooth told the truth, but that was uncouth.  The emperor did not believe him, but he finally “got the point.”  As he fell in the Roman forum (or maybe he fell against ‘um) Caesar said,  “Et tu, Brute?”    Brutus replied, “I’ve never killed an emperor, so I thought I’d take a “stab at it.”    (I don’t make these things up, folks.)  In any case, poor Caesar “got the shaft,” so to speak.  Mark Anthony, who was married to Jennifer Lopez but dating Cleopatra, spoke at the funeral and gave a pretty good speech.  (I think he and Jen sang a duet, but don’t quote me on that.)

I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel too sorry for Julius Caesar.  Granted, he turned red when he was stabbed.  (Some folks think he became an “Orange Julius.”)  However, on the flip side of that coin, how many of us have a popular salad named in our honor?  You see, friends, always look for the silver lining.  (Just pray it’s not a sword!)

Incidentally, did I mention that I was named after Julius Caesar?  True fact.  He was born and named on July 13, 100 B.C.  (And I was born and named “after” that.)  For those of you who went to public school in Chicago, B.C. stands for “Before Christ.”  (I think A.D. means “after dat.”)

And since we are on the subject of Rome…..  Please, do not join the write-in campaign to have me elected Pope!  I would love to live in Italy, and drown my sorrows in Chianti, but I must finish the 4th “Adam Gold Mystery Novel.”  (RANSOM ON THE RHONE.)    To paraphrase General William Tecumseh Sherman…..   “I will not accept if nominated, will not serve if elected, and if served, I will not eat my pasta!”  I trust this puts an end to the rampant speculation about yours truly becoming the next Pope.  In all likelihood, the next Pope will be Catholic, which is probably very important to the Cardinals.  Don’t worry about me.  I have a lot of yard-work to do.

Thank you friends, Romans, and countrymen for lending me your ears.  (Actually, it was your eyes, but who’s keeping track?)  I leave you with a sincere blessing to enjoy your week.  (Hey,  I like this blessing stuff.  Maybe I should reconsider my position about becoming the next Pope.)  Go forth and multiply, or if you don’t enjoy math, read a good book.  (I’d start with THE PRESLEY PLOT!)  I wish you well and would remind you of one salient fact…..  Please remember that the difference between a rut and a grave is the length and depth!

Viaggio in pace, my fellow pilgrims…..    Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

August 3, 2012

YAHOO! HOWDY, YAHOO GROUPS!

I’d like to begin this new post with a warm welcome to the ten new Yahoo Groups that have recently joined our “blog family,” and whose members are now following this fascinating blog of ours!  Welcome aboard, I think you will enjoy your stay, and I look forward to receiving some of your comments.

Just to let everyone know, there are roughly 360 Yahoo Groups dedicated to preserving the memory of Elvis Presley and his music!  These groups are quite interesting in and of themselves, and believe it or not, they represent a combined membership of over……  20,000 Elvis Presley fans!

Hopefully, half of them will purchase a copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT, which means that I will have to autograph about 10,000 books….. but I don’t mind!   Fame and fortune do not come cheap, and I do have two hands, so if I wear out the muscles in my right hand, I will simply use my left!   (I say buy the books and we will worry about the autographs later!)

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT………

From now on I will take a moment to mention one Yahoo Group that has joined our blog family …. thereby promoting them and encouraging my world-wide readers (THIS POST IS NOW BEING FOLLOWED IN 15 FOREIGN COUNTRIES!!)  to join their online Elvis Club.  My way of saying “thank you” and keeping the memory of the King alive and well……

First up, ELVISTAILDRAGGER@YAHOOGROUPS.COM

This group was formed back in May, 2003.  They currently have 167 members!!

The Yahoo name was taken from the name of the founder’s band, which happens to be The Taildraggers.  They welcome everyone who loves the music of the King, so if you fit that description, check them out!

Before I close, some ELVIS trivia…..  On this very day, way back in 1953, a young Elvis Presley returned to the Tennessee Employment Security Office (his third visit) hoping to obtain “a job where he could keep clean.”    Unfortunately, all of the mystery novelist positions were taken!  I’m not sure what became of the poor kid, but you might know!  (Coincidentally, the Austin television news just reported that the nation’s jobless rate just ticked up to 8.3 %)   Some things never change.

Well, keep your collective chins up and have a nice day.  Our day in Austin is sunny and hot, and there is not a cloud in the sky.  I believe we are going to have another 100 degree day on our hands, so…… drink plenty of tequila, I mean, water!

Speak with you soon……

Doc Yanoff