DON’T ASK ME WHY, but for some ungodly reason I actually volunteered to “dog sit” my two grand-dogs this week.  Baker is a cockapoo, eleven years old, and rather well behaved.  Romy is a labradoodle, still a puppy, and proof positive that mental illness is hereditary.  (You get it from your children!)  Yep, little Romy is adorable, but hell on wheels.  How can one dog chew on sooooo many different substances?  You’d think metal and rocks would be off-limits, but not with this little lady!  Her motto is thus:  “I came.  I saw. I chewed to shreds.”

As you can tell, I am having a “ruff” week, but this too shall pass.  (Won’t it?)  My daughters are off to weddings and vacations in San Diego and Hawaii, and I’m stuck at the dog pound!  (And believe me, there are times when I’d like to pound you-know-who, but she’s just too dang cute for words!)  Baker is white (which rhymes with right) and Romy is brown.  (Which rhymes with “nervous breakdown.”)  Why couldn’t my daughters get cats like other kids?

Oddly enough, I also had an unusual week book-wise.  As many of you know, THE SECOND MOURNING was recently published, and thanks to folks like you, is doing quite well in the sales department.  (Over two hundred books were sold on the first two days alone!)  However, I spent most of the week discussing THE GRACELAND GANG, as the Elvis Presley Center in Tupelo was interested in obtaining some more books for their gift shop.  What started as a simple phone call, ended up as a full-fledged interview with their newsletter editor.  (By the way, a number of buildings were severely damaged in Tupelo during last week’s storm, but the Presley Center was spared.  Definitely ‘Divine Intervention!’)

During my telephone interview, the editor asked me about the most surprising thing I discovered about Elvis Presley.  There were plenty of surprises, but one of the most interesting was the fact that Gladys Presley’s grandmother was Jewish.  (Gladys was Elvis Presley’s adored mother.)  Interestingly, The King was quite fascinated with his religious ancestry, and during his lifetime he wore a “chai necklace” and often carried yarmulke in his pocket!

When I visited Graceland, I met one of the caretakers, and he told me something intriguing that I did not know…  Elvis actually spoke Hebrew and often sang in the Hebrew language!  The next time you go to Memphis, go to Graceland, and you will notice that his mother’s tombstone (She is buried in Meditation Garden) is engraved with a “Star of David,” to acknowledge her own roots.  If you would like to learn more, just buy a copy of THE GRACELAND GANG, and you will be ready to go on a quiz show and win some big bucks!

Did you read the Wall Street Journal on Friday?  A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.  Hmmm.

A funny thing happened to my neighbor last week.  He went to a dude ranch in Bandera, Texas, and rode a donkey!  (He’s afraid of horses.)  While he was riding the range, a horse kicked up a rock and knocked him off the donkey.  Don’t worry, he wasn’t injured.  In fact, he just got stoned off his ass.  (Ouch!)

I don’t mean to be annoying, but please don’t forget to SAVE THE DATE.  (Friday, June 6, 2014.)  As some of you know, I will speaking at BookPeople in downtown Austin at 7 p.m.    You are all invited, and please remember, everything is free.  (Free admission, free parking, free books.)  All right, I’m lying about the books, but everything else is free!  Hopefully, the margarita machine will be working!

Well, my friends, it is time to take the dogs to the butcher, I mean, the park.  (Freudian slip!)  I do hope that my daughters appreciate me.  (and my wife, who is doing the early morning shift.)  I fully expect not only a case of beer, but an ocean-front condominium in the resort area of my choosing!)  Ideally, a condominium resort that does NOT allow pets!!

Love to all, and please, keep me in your prayers!!

Doc Yanoff   (And “Ma Barker!”)