A LOT FASTER THAN ME ON THE INTERSTATE! Fellow travelers, I am proud to announce that I recently signed a new book contract, and that in mid-April, my fourth masterpiece will be published! (Just in time to pay my taxes!) Please, hold your applause. (Never mind, clap!) Murder Ink Press, in collaboration with Penguin Publishers, will be publishing my first non-fiction book, titled THE SECOND MOURNING. (The True Story of America’s Most Bizarre Political Murder.) The book will reveal the true events surrounding the assassination of President James A. Garfield, our twentieth President. I’m told that it will be available in hard-back, soft-back, and ebook versions. Readers will be able to purchase the book on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Kindle, Nook, and a large number of traditional book stores. (Including BookPeople in Austin, Texas.)
I would like to thank each and every one of our 7,000 blog followers, because without your continued support, none of this would have been possible. You folks are the best and I’m honored to be invited into your homes each Sunday. We gained many new followers on our last book tour, which ended two days ago, and took us to Dallas, Texarkana, Little Rock, Nashville, Chattanooga, Atlanta, Valdosta, Boca Raton, Fort Lauderdale, Tallahassee, Mobile, Baton Rouge, and Houston! Whew, what a drive! Two thousand miles in two weeks!
While we were gone, the Winter Olympics “played out.” You know what that means. American athletes will now be appearing on cereal boxes! (“Flakey” idea. Too “corny.”) I hear that Vladimir Putin wants to put his face on a box of crackers! (Ever heard of “Putin on the Ritz?”) Ouch!
Several of our curious blog followers have asked about my favorite road stop. There were many great stops, but my personal favorite was Lynchburg, Tennessee, the charming town where they produce Jack Daniel’s Sour Mash Whiskey. After a brief tour of the distillery, we sampled some Old No. 7, and from what I remember, our “spirits” were truly lifted! (I think I met a guy named Jim Beam and a fellow named George Dickels, but don’t quote me on that!) If you think I’m joking, I’ve got (ninety) proof!
Speaking of “blithe spirits,” I would like to say happy birthday to Ms. Barbara Talbott, who will be turning 39 or 49 tomorrow. I forget her exact age, but I congratulate Barbara on reaching a new pinochle. (I could have said pinnacle, but she’s a “real card!”) Well, at least she’s playing with a “full deck!” (Unlike me!) Have a great day, darling!
In closing, I would like to remind you that we are now in the midst of Daylight Savings Time. (Why don’t banks ever offer daylight savings accounts?) Anyway, don’t forget the old motto: “Spring back and fall ahead.” Wait a minute, maybe it’s “Spring forward and fall back.” Well, I don’t suppose it really matters. Sooner or later you’ll have the right time.
Well, I’m off to the office to pay some bills, make some excuses, and catch up on my fan mail. (I received a letter from my Mom.) I hope everyone has a safe and happy week. We will chat again next Sunday!
Love to all…..
P.S. Depending on my computer skills, which are minimal, you might see a photograph attached to this blog post. Be the first to identify the person in the photo and you will win a $50 gift card! (I will post the winner’s name next Sunday.) Good luck!
I’m no expert on contests, but maybe you might consider posting a photo without the person’s name on it, if you want people to guess who it is. . . . just saying. 😉
charles julius guiteau, just in case no one scrolled down. 😉
See you soon.