December 9, 2012

MARKETING 101 (HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE)

WHAT IS GREEN AND SINGS? GIVE UP? ….. ELVIS PARSLEY! (Hey, I could have gone with “Frank Snot-tra!) Well, in any case, this was my opening joke at the Austin Senior Center last week. Would you believe that a 90-year-0d woman told me it was lame! (She was a little lame, herself) As some of you know, I occasionally volunteer at the center. I am a C.T.C. (Certified Trip Chaperon) We bring 30 seniors on a field trip and then (ideally) return the same 30 seniors to the center. Every so often someone wanders away and then we have an awkward situation. (I personally just pick up a hitchhiker or two and then drop them off at the center.) They only count heads. (Sometimes tails.) Anyway, I love speaking to seniors. They are always the best audience and the most interesting folks. Some of the octogenarians are poor poker players, but it’s nice knowing that they only have to wait one month to get reimbursed for their losses. What a great country we live in!

I would like to extend a hardy “buenos dias” to Helena Mont’ Alverne de Sequeira and Countess Connie, the two lovely ladies that have promoted THE PRESLEY PLOT in Portugal! These two women are Lesbonians. (From Lisbon?) They are both members of the “Awesome Azores Elvis Fan Club,” one of the largest fan clubs in that part of the world! Welcome to America, ladies! I look forward to dining with you during the upcoming week. (No sardines, though!)

Last Thursday I had the honor and pleasure of speaking before the River Place Book Club here in Austin, Texas. My goodness, what a fun event that was! The speaking engagement and book signing was hosted by the lovely and talented Mrs. Claudia Tobias. Mrs. “T” has a beautiful home overlooking one of our magnificent canyons, and this being the holiday season, the entire house was decorated with Christmas ornaments. The place looked great! So cheerful and warm. I held court (after one very strong Mimosa) for two hours, and during that time, the ladies of the group asked some truly insightful and intelligent questions. (No, they did not ask for my PIN numbers!) These ladies were highly educated and very well read, and I absolutely loved the questions they asked. In all honesty, this was one of my most enjoyable outings. Sooooo…… I would like to say thanks again to my good friend Claudia, and I would also like to say “howdy” to all of the wonderful women that were present….. Pat, Suzanne, Lois, Sharon, Pam, Betty, Kay, Sylvia, Betsey, and Donna D.

AND NOW FOR YOU ELVIS FANS…… Did you know that on or near this date in 1972, Elvis Presley went shopping (Not at Barton Creek Mall) and spent more money than my own wife does on one of her mad dash outings? True enough, folks. The King spent $10,000 for 5 jumpsuits, 5 silk shirts, and repairs to 8 other jumpsuits. That, my friends, is a lot of money to spend on jumpsuits and silk, considering that Elvis never went sky-diving. He did “jump” to conclusions now and then. He also had several “leaps of faith.” And yes, he “fell” for many women. God, when will these puns ever end?? Well, shoot (chute?) I should stop while I’m ahead.

Several of my blog followers have asked when MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE will be available. (The second “Adam Gold Mystery.”) God willing, I should hear something this coming week, and as soon as I do, I will pass the news along. My publicist will be doing some holiday advertising in our local newspapers, so if you live in Texas, you might just see my face or image in your newspaper. If you can’t wait, just head on down to the post office. They have a very flattering mug shot, I mean, head shot, of me on display. (I don’t care for those profile photos.)

Finally, since this is the first day of Hanukkah, I would like to wish all of my Jewish friends a joyous week. I don’t think any other Jewish holiday can “hold a candle” to Hanukkah.

Come on, now, that was funny! L’chaim!

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

December 2, 2012

THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT!

WHEN I SAY “ENGAGEMENT” I AM REFERRING TO….. Speaking engagements! I have two interesting events scheduled for this coming week. First, I will be regaling an audience of “seasoned citizens” at the Austin Senior Center, which is always fun. Wisdom comes with age. (So do Social Security checks.) On Thursday, I shall be having a delightful brunch with the charming ladies of the River Place Book Club. These wonderful women have invited me to a gourmet feast, followed by a fascinating lecture centered around THE PRESLEY PLOT and my recent foray into the cut-throat world of publishing! The event is being hosted by Claudia Tobias, a truly remarkable woman who donates many long hours to various charitable groups in our community. I think this will be great fun and I am looking forward to a lively discussion. (I know some of these ladies from the River Place Garden Club and they are a smart and worldly group.)

And speaking of smart and lively women….. Leigh Ann Woodward, one of the sweetest and most talented poker players in Texas, recently hosted the 8th Annual Kings & Queens Poker Event at her lovely country estate in Lago Vista last night. I have played in this tournament several times (and done remarkably well, I might add) so I know how much fun it is, and I also know that it attracts some very good poker players. The evening is filled with great drinks, great food, and great company! Unfortunately, I could not play this year, but I am anxious to hear who won. In any case, Leigh Ann should be congratulated for throwing one of the best Christmas-time events of the season!

Since I have been writing about South Africa recently, I think I should mention that we now have 12 new blog followers in that fascinating country! G’day mates! (Australian is as close as I can come!) Rachel (my daughter) and Adam (the son-in-law) recently returned from your beautiful country and they loved it! Of course, being related to me, you might expect one or two (how shall I put this?) “Mishaps.” For instance, when they went to Robben Island to view Nelson Mandela’s jail cell, the guard told them that “Nelson spent 18 years on this island.” Rachel, being a chip off the old block, asked, “Which one, Ricky or David?” Adam wasn’t much better. He told the guard that if Mandela had been Jewish they wouldn’t have kept him in a jail cell. (Jewish people eat “locks.”) And so it went…… Surprisingly, we still have diplomatic relations with South Africa.

AND NOW FOR SOME ELVIS PRESLEY NEWS….. I have some very exciting news for all of my fans and blog followers….. THE PRESLEY PLOT has been chosen to receive a “full book review,” by the international website called AMAZON BOOK CLUBS! This is really great news for me, and once the review is posted, it should attract world-wide attention. The Amazon Book Club selections are seen by millions of readers throughout the world and they are also posted on just about every social website known to man. (or woman) I am very excited about this development and I will keep you posted of my progress. I should get a “first draft” sometime within the next two weeks. Just between you and me, this sort of makes up for losing the Nobel Prize for Literature to that Ecuadorian Llama rancher. (I’d like to “pull the wool” over that guy sometime!) All right, I have to stop being bitter. Just let it go. Keep moving forward. (But come on, a book about Montezuma’s revenge? Really?)

Incidentally, just to keep you in the loop, I will (unless there is breaking news) be posting one blog per week from now on. (No cheering, please.) My writing commitments (the ones I get paid for!) have recently grown experimentally, I mean, exponentially. In short, there are not enough hours in the day! (I think we’re stuck at 24) I for one would vote for a longer day and a shorter night, but that’s just me. In any case, I just don’t have enough time to produce such mind-boggling brilliance twice a week and still play poker. I hope I have not disappointed anyone. You must go on with your lives. Forget about me. (Not entirely, though) We shall still meet each and every Sunday! (One more thing to pray for!)

So….. until next Sunday….. I wish you joy and happiness. (Aren’t those the same things?)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

November 28, 2012

MAKING HISTORY, PART II

IN MY HUMBLE VIEW….. Making history is almost as much fun as making whoopee. (I said almost.) I am referring, of course, to the re-publishing of THE PRESLEY PLOT. I am very happy to report that Aberdeen Bay Press has sent me the official notification and that the newly revised version will be available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, and other sites in about two or three weeks. As I believe I previously mentioned, they already have a standing (or sitting) order for 225 copies, so if you need some books for the holidays, do not delay ordering. After they’re gone you will have to wait… I have a little gout, I mean, clout, but even I have to wait in line. (Oh, the injustice of it all!)

Several of my loyal devotees have asked about the American Queen riverboat cruise. (The Elvis-themed excursion leaving from New Orleans.) Well….. here I was, preparing my brilliant lecture on Tupelo, when lo and behold we hit a snag. (Not the boat, me) The snag was the river itself! Have you read about our drought in this part of the country? Lake Austin (here in lovely Austin, Texas) is only 40% full! If my math is correct, that means its almost 60% empty! Yikes! What the hell did Al Gore do?

Anyway, no water means no riverboating, no riverfloating, and no rivergloating. What can I say? For the first time in American history, the Mighty Mississippi is suffering from low water levels, and it is severely affecting all of the river traffic, both private and commercial vessels! Due to this lack of H2o, I thought it best to reschedule my voyage. I will keep my fellow travelers informed of my whereabouts! (Easy to do with this darn electric ankle bracelet!)

Now for some Elvis news….. Did you know that on this very day, in 1954, Elvis Presley did something very rare? (No, he didn’t go on a diet.) But he did miss two previously scheduled shows that were sold out in Memphis, Tennessee. (Which, I might add, is where Graceland happens to be.) So what happened, you ask? Well, he actually missed his airline connection in Houston! If you have ever flown through Houston, you know how easy this can be. So it seems that we are in good company. I do not know if the airline offered The King any travel compensation, but I’m sure he got several bags of free peanuts. (Maybe even one of his favorite peanut butter snacks!)

Incidentally, a number of my more curious blog followers have asked about Rachel and Adam (my daughter and new son-in-law) and they wanted to know what those two crazy kids thought of Cape Town, South Africa. Well, they loved the place. I have seen some of the photographs, and they are truly amazing. Mountains on one side, the ocean on the other, and the most magnificent flora and fauna you can imagine. (Flora was particularly attractive!) The only “tricky” part of the trip was the safari. On day one they were detained by a horde of pygmies! (But just for a “short” time.) Then they were stopped by headhunters! (But neither needed a job.) Finally, on day three, they were asked to play the drums for a tribe of Ubangi warriors! (The tribesmen kept shouting, “You bangee!” “You bangee!”) Adam finally gave in and banged the damn drum, but as they found out, he marches to the beat of a different drum. In any case, Rachel explained the “big bang theory” to the tribal chieftain and all was well. You can’t “beat” a vacation like that!

Finally, I would like to give a big shout out to Max and Barbara, the President and Vice-President of my Indiana Fan Club For Elvis Authors! They are taking care of some personal business this week, and we wish them well! Also, thanks to Judge Susan for her recent legal work on behalf of my growing literary estate! Another job well done. If you are in or around Salado, Texas next week, look for my mug on a poster. (No, not at the Post Office) I am tentatively engaged to speak at a book club in that charming town. I will send the details later.

Have a wonderful day and please drive carefully. (I keep hearing about a fiscal cliff in front of us.) I will write again soon…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

November 18, 2012

KINGS AND QUEENS AND JOKERS ARE….. KEEN!

WELL, BY NOW YOU’VE HEARD THE BIG NEWS FROM BENGHAZI….. NO, not that news, the results of the LIBYAN NATIONAL POKER TOURNAMENT!

Actually, according to the Wold Series of Poker International Committee (The same folks who nominated me for the Nobel Prize in Literature) the tournament should be called the “Waterloo & Beef Wellington Poker Championship.” As many of you know, I am not only the author of THE PRESLEY PLOT, America’s best new mystery novel, but also the owner, lone faculty member, and janitor of the Austin-based C.P.A. (Cobra Poker Academy) Well….. I am very proud to announce that one of my graduate students, Dr. Max Talbott, recently won the aforementioned tournament with flying colors!! (Red, white, and blue.) As you’ve probably read, Max was voted “Most Likely To Secede” by his classmates. (A doctoral student named Barbara placed second, and has asked for a recount, but I think she’s whistling “Dixie,” if you get my reference!) In any case, congratulations, Max. You look lovely in your new tiara. (A “crowning” achievement by any standard!)

Incidentally, while I’m in a congratulatory mood, I would like to acknowledge Ms. Rhonda Sebastian, a dear friend and colleague, who won the annual “Steiner Ranch Beer & Barbecue Championship” last Thursday. Rhonda won a pickup full of cash and impressed everyone (including the Cobra) will her brilliant play. Believe it or not, she actually managed to beat me a couple of times, but I think she was cheating. (She had better cards.) Well done, Ms. Rhonda!

By the way, for those of you who wish to improve your lives, win lots of money, and make some new friends at the I.R.S., you should follow Rhonda’s example and become a BLOG FOLLOWER! Ms. R was an early follower and has remained loyal through all of my trials (many of which ended in a hung jury) and tribulations (losing the Nobel Prize to a South American Goat Rancher) Thank you, Rhonda!

Interestingly, my card playing has lead to some wonderful marketing opportunities for THE PRESLEY PLOT. For instance, last week I was one of the gift sponsors at the huge Steiner Ranch tournament which attracted attractive players from all five corners (make that, four corners) of Travis County and from several other counties in the Republic of Texas. As a gesture of my appreciation for Rich & Sharon Walker and the great Kevin Evans, I brought six autographed copies of my book to the tournament. Coincidentally, six lucky players won copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT, and now their lives are more or less complete. One player was willing to trade his cash winnings (approximately $4,479.62 for a copy of my book, but alas, none were available. Tough luck, Eric Ohlson.) Frankly, if I had won the damn tournament it would have been a perfect evening!

And speaking of perfect evenings…… Tarzan and Jane (Adam and Rachel) will be returning from South Africa tomorrow night! They enjoyed their safari immensely, but said that some of the big cats do not play poker fairly. (One of them was a cheetah!) By sheer coincidence, the lady who ran the lodge was a cougar! (Her contract contained a special “claws.”) All right, enough bad animal jokes. The natives are getting restless. I will simply conclude by telling you that my daughter sent me a cute photograph of a Ubangi mother urging her child to finish his dinner. The caption reads: “If you don’t finish your missionary, you don’t get dessert!” So precious. (I was going to use the word “tender” but I didn’t want to gross anyone out.)

Well, my friends, I shall say goodbye for now (before I cause another international incident) and wish you well in all of your pursuits. Enjoy our lovely fall. I shall write again soon…….

The imminent author and world traveler…….

Doc Yanoff

November 14, 2012

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!

WHILE ELVIS WAS THE UNDISPUTED KING OF LAS VEGAS……. There is another person who certainly deserves to be mentioned with reverence…..The great poker player named Steve Gee, who just finished 9th (out of a zillion other players) at the World Series of Poker! If you have been following this blog (and let’s face it, who hasn’t?) you know that Steve is the talented brother of my beautiful and brilliant friend, Diane Gee. Steve made a fantastic run for the gold and played against some of the best poker players in the world (luck for him, I was busy that week) and we are all proud of his accomplishment. And don’t feel sorry for the lad! Steve walked away with…… $754,798 for his efforts!! Not bad for one week’s work, eh? In case you’re wondering, that’s the same amount of my book royalties for THE PRESLEY PLOT. (Hey, a guy can dream!)

If you want to see Steve’s “farewell” interview at the tournament, just Google: “Steve Gee, World Series of Poker.” There is a “live” interview posted on this website. The interviewer forgot to ask him about his favorite author (would you like to guess who that might be??) but it is still worth watching.

NOW ON TO ELVIS……. My beautiful and brilliant cousin, Susan Wilson, the woman who single-handedly runs JRS Investments in Nashville, sent me a most interesting article about the King. For those of you in Tennessee (Five Tennessee Fan Clubs are on my blog) please note that the Tennessee State Museum is offering an exhibit (starting on November 8th.) called……. “ELVIS AT 21: Photographs by Alfred Wertheimer.” The exhibit will include 56 images of the King, most of them captured before Col. Parker took over and limited the number of photos that could be taken. I have seen a few of these photographs, and I can honesty say that they are quite fascinating. If you’re interested, the exhibit will be at the museum until January 8th.

By the way, the most interesting photograph in the exhibit shows ELVIS in New York City (my “home town”) on the very day that the old boy made history by recording not one, but two songs that would become number one hits in a very short time……. Would you like this to be our trivia question of the week? Very well, please fill in the blanks listed below this paragraph and mail them to: ATTN: JILL KELLEY

56 FLOOZY BLVD., TAMPA, FLORIDA

You will be notified by the Pentagon if you win the trivia contest. Please note that if you do enter the contest you will immediately be subject to being drafted. If you are chosen for military service in a country with many goats, please do not despair. The contest sponsors are offering free air fare to and from Islamabad.

Well, on that semi-humorous note, I shall bid you adieu. I would like to remind you that last Sunday was Veterans Day, so if you know someone who served in the military, please thank them for their service to our country. God knows we all owe them a huge round of applause for a job well done. (Way to go, Cousin Max!)

Have a wonderful day and do not ask why “sour cream” has an expiration date! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

November 5, 2012

IT’S NOW OR NEVER!

GOTCHA! You thought I was referring to our presidential election, right? Well, I’m not. Kindly remember that this is, after all, first and foremost a site dedicated to enriching me as an author, I mean, enlightening the world about Elvis Presley. (One of the two!)

In any case, I was referring to the song “It’s Now or Never,” which reached the number one spot in the U.K. on this very day in 1960. I thought it was rather appropriate, considering our upcoming election. Please….. regardless of who you vote for….vote! A strong democracy depends on an informed and engaged electorate…. and please remember to spell my last name correctly…. there are two “f’s” in my last name. (and several more on my report cards!)

I mention the above only because I assume that most of you will be voting for me again. If not, I want my five dollars back. (and you will have no chance of being mentioned in the next “Acknowledgement Section.”) By the way, the next mystery novel, MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE, was just reviewed (albeit informally) by one of our local best-selling authors….. and the verdict was quite pleasant. Our semi-famous reviewer actually liked it better than THE PRESLEY PLOT! (Same as the Nobel Prize crowd!)

In all (or most) seriousness, this bodes well and I will be quite anxious to see what the publisher thinks. I should know something by the end of the month. (I know a few things now, but they have nothing to do with publishing.)

For those of you who are following the honeymoon adventures of my eldest daughter Rachel, I am happy to report that she and Adam have landed safely in London and are happily ensconced at the lovely Egerton House Hotel in Kensington. The amazing hotel staff greeted them en masse and were sweet enough to provide some complimentary champagne for the love-birds! After a brief nap, the kids intend to hit the ground running, which should be quite interesting with Rachel in charge. (Miss Rachel actually lived in London one or two summers, and she knows the city quite well.) Do not be surprised if Adam winds up in the Tower of London!!

For you ELVIS PRESLEY FAN CLUB MEMBERS…… I will be speaking and signing books at a fan club meeting in Waco, Texas, on Wednesday. You can get the details by checking your fan club mail box. (A notice was sent to all clubs yesterday.) The heading reads, “The Presley Plot Thickens!” All are welcome and there will be plenty of books to purchase. Hope to see you there!

Well, now that Rachel is in England, I am dog-sitting Baker….. and he has just signaled me that it is time to head for the dog park! (Don’t ask how) So….. I need to go and find his leash. (I really wish he would stop hiding the darn thing!) I enjoy having a granddog, but he always needs to go when I’m writing. (Hey, do you think he’s trying to tell me something?) Bad dog! It’s only a “ruff draft!” (I had to get in one doggie joke.)

Take care and enjoy our lovely weather……. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

October 25, 2012

NEVER A DULL MOMENT!

WHERE DO I BEGIN? Well, let’s start with the exciting news that my dear friend Diane Gee has recently shared with me….. (Diane is one of the charming ladies that run the office of Dr. Michael Williamson, another friend, and the world’s BEST periodontist!) I have know Diane for over 10 years, but only recently did her wonderful brother Steve (probably named after me) start playing professional poker. Steve now spends a great deal of time in Las Vegas, and will soon (October 28th) be spending even more time there because…… Steve Gee just made it to the final table of THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER!!

I am very excited about all of this, especially because I have formally suggested Steve’s new “professional nickname.” Are you ready for this? All right, Steve will now be known as “THE G-MAN.” I love the connection to his last name, and the fact that he is connected to the Feds. (Although I think an I.R.S. connection would have been better, because if Steve wins the whole enchilada, he will receive $8,500,ooo!!!!!)

Good luck, buddy! We here in Austin will be rooting for you! (And don’t forget to hold up a copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT whenever the camera swings to you!) The Elvis t-shirts are on the way.

MORE EXCITING NEWS…… Last night’s Literary Salon Event was a huge success! The audience was alive and kicking, and we had a marvelous time discussing mystery novels, publishing, and the lack of parking spaces at the Wildflower Terrace. (Which is a very lovely venue, I might add.) Our wonderful hostess, Terri Schexnayder, held a pre-seminar party in her brand new apartment, and some of the guests (i.e., Ms. Beverly Horne) wore Halloween costumes. The wine and food were greatly appreciated, and so was the post-seminar book signing. The lovely and talented Helen Ginger was my co-panelist, and together we sold many, many books. SO THANK YOU AGAIN, TERRI!

After the mystery seminar, I joined some dear friends for a late-night Cajun snack. (Which consisted of great fried oysters, catfish, and Abita Beer.) I must say, it was a wonderful conclusion to a most wonderful day. And by the way, since one of the couples (Max and Barbara Talbott, of the Chateau Talbott Family in France) was at our table, I will end this post by mentioning something about their home state, Indiana…..

Thirty-six years ago today, ELVIS PRESLEY performed a memorable concert in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The show was held at the Memorial Coliseum, and there were roughly 14,000 people in attendance. The crowd was VERY enthusiastic, and just by coincidence, Elvis had just released a wonderful rendition of “How Great Thou Art.”

Naturally, the next day’s headline read: “How Great He Was!” Those in attendance swear that this was one of The King’s best shows….. and I don’t doubt it. I just wonder if Elvis began the concert by asking the crowd…. “Hoosier Mama?”

A “Hoosier” is a resident of Indiana, but the etymology of the word is actually unkown. (Some folks think the word comes from “hoo,” meaning high or hill in the old Angl0-Saxon language, or “hoozer” which means large) Whatever the case, the good people of Indiana made Elvis feel quite welcome, and we should do our best to welcome them to Texas. (Here we have a sneaky reference to my lovely birthday gift to Max Talbott, which will certainly get him “high.”) Think Bourbon.

Well, gang, I must run….. Sunday is my sweet Rachel’s wedding day (my oldest daughter) and we are putting together “gift boxes” for our out-of-town guests. The story of Rachel’s wedding will be told in future blogs…. and you will not want to miss a single installment! I shall write again soon…… Love to all……

Doc Yanoff, The Father of the Bride!

October 21, 2012

BREAKING NEWS!

WHO NEEDS NORWAY? I say no way, Norway, you can keep that dang Nobel Prize for Boring Literature….. I have some really exciting news!

As some (most?) of you know, I was sailing through the Panama Canal on the day that the publisher sent me the final galleys for THE PRESLEY PLOT. Since I was preparing for a prolonged jungle trip (To visit the Embera Indians) my mind was on survival gear and head-hunting techniques, and so I did a VERY poor job of proofreading my own manuscript! Nobody to blame but myself, although I still think the tribal witch doctor put a curse on me. (He was a Jerry Lee Lewis fan.)

Anyway….. the good folks at Aberdeen Bay Publishing, having completely sold out of all the first editions of THE PRESLEY PLOT (and recognizing genius when they see it) have kindly agreed to make ALL OF THE CORRECTIONS for the second edition! For me, this is wonderful news. I was really annoyed that I did such a poor job proofreading, but now I have a chance to redeem myself. Frankly, this is probably the only reason that I did not win the Nobel Prize. (What else could it be?) In any case, the second edition will be out shortly and available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Googlebooks.com, etc. If you bought a first edition and want to trade it in, just let me know and I will be happy to make an exchange. (I intend to give the first editions to a charitable organization.) However, I understand that error laden books are actually valuable if and when the author becomes famous….. think of the stamps that are so valuable because of printing errors. So…. you might want to hold on to your first copy.

And since we are on the subject of publishing….. the brilliant acquisitions editor at Aberdeen Bay Books (who is also an accomplished author) has requested that I promptly forward a copy of my second mystery novel titled….. MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE. I am hoping to hear something positive in a month or so, and I will keep you informed of my progress. Keep your fingers (and some of your toes) crossed for me! My editor, a wonderful professional named Karl Monger, actually enjoyed the second book more than the first, which is a very good sign. Of course, as you know by now, there are no guarantees in the competitive world of publishing.

Finally, I would like to remind those that live in or near Austin, that I will be a featured speaker/panelist at a mystery writers seminar this coming Wednesday. The event is being sponsored by the Austin Literary Salon. The location of the event will be at Wildflower Terrace Apartments, 3801 Berkman Drive. (In their main auditorium) The festivities begin promptly at 6:30 p.m. and end at 8:30 p.m. As I mentioned previously, there will be a panel discussion, a Q & A session, and then a book reading and book signing. Admission is almost free, and a gourmet dinner prepared by a world famous French chef will be available. (For the modest sum of $12,000 per person, not including wine.) What a bargain! What a steal! Buy a book! Get a meal!

All right, enough with the marketing routine. If you’re free, come down and join the fun. You will not be disappointed. They are expecting a sold out crowd, so plan to arrive by 6 p.m. if you want to get a good seat. (And remember to ask me some easy questions and laugh at all of my dumb jokes!)

Well, I’m off to get ready for another Sunday function with some of my major blog followers up in Round Rock. Mrs. Helena Bomblatus (a charming and lovely woman from Portugal) is hosting an elaborate (and authentic) dinner party, featuring gourmet goodies from the Azores. She is quite the chef, and I am anxiously awaiting her most recent culinary creation. It will also be nice to be surrounded by a fawning bunch of psychopaths, I mean, sycophants, who think I’m the best thing since white bread. Ah, the price of fame. Well, it’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. (I can really sympathize with Brad Pitt.)

Have a wonderful Sunday and be careful out there…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

October 17, 2012

INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY!

IF YOU WRITE MYSTERY NOVELS…. which I do, and you travel internationally, which I just did, would you be considered an international man of mystery? Groovy, baby! I thought so, too. And frankly, that’s better than being an international house of pancakes. (Certainly better than eating there!) The reason I ask is that I am contemplating a trip to Oslo, Norway, to supervise the voting re-count of the Nobel Prize for Literature. I still find it hard to believe that THE PRESLEY PLOT lost out to some hack story from Viet Nam or Ghana or Paraguay or wherever the heck that writer came from. (I don’t trust those Third World judges…. look at the last Miss Universe Contest. Miss Maldives wins? What’s that about?)

Speaking of international delights….. I would like to say “szia” to Miss Monika Leipniker, a beautiful and brilliant young lady from Hungary. I met Monika on my last trip to London and was very impressed by her keen wit and literary insight. (Which means she liked my book!) “Hogy vagy?” (How are you?) I hope all is well in Jolly Old England…. and remember, if it gets too cold in London, you’re welcome to come to Austin, Texas!

And since we’re on the subject of moving to Austin….. If any of my worldwide followers are planning a move to our lovely city, you must get your hands on a copy of the AUSTIN RELOCATION GUIDE….. the brainchild of a local genius (and world-class poker player) named Kevin Evans. Mr. E publishes a wonderful guide to our city, and in my humble view, it is definitely the place to start if you’re planning to relocate. (And let’s face it, the whole world wants to live in Austin…. except Miss Maldives.) You can reach my buddy Kevin at Kevans@argpub.com

Before I close, I would also like to welcome a few more Elvis Presley Fan Clubs.

THESE CLUBS ARE THE MAIN REASON THAT MY BLOG NOW HAS CLOSE TO 3,000 FOLLOWERS IN 37 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!

(Which is why I capitalized the entire sentence!)

So….. A big thank you to….. Itsonlylove4thepresleys@yahoogroups.com….. Bigethehounddogs@yahoogroups.com….. Crazy4Elvis42@yahoogroups.com….. and last, but not least, Elivslovemetender@hotmail.com

Incidentally, on October 16, 1956 (Yesterday) the Elvis Presley film “Love Me Tender” premiered in the good old U.S.A. (How’s that for timing?)

Well, time to walk the grand-dog….. Have a wonderful day and be careful out there….. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

October 10, 2012

MY EYES ARE ON THE PRIZE!

WELL, TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY…..

What big day you ask? The day that the Nobel Prize for Literature is announced! If you have read THE PRESLEY PLOT you know why I am so excited. I don’t mean to boast, but surely the committee will be able to recognize raw genius. Maybe even “well done” genius. If so, I am a shoe-in to win the prize for “Outstanding Mystery Writing Of Novels Dealing With Lost Tapes Of Elvis Presley.” Yes, I understand that this is a very narrow category, but so what? (Who reads poetry?)

The grand announcement will be made tomorrow morning, and to be perfectly honest, I doubt that I will get much sleep tonight. (After all, I am playing poker.) If I don’t win, I intend to be a good sport about things. (I’m referring to the book, not the poker game.) Frankly, after some of the recent Nobel Prizes, I am starting to question the judgement of the judges. (Too much pickled herring will pickle the old mind.) If I lose, I intend to demand a recount, and then I will insist that Judge Judy handle the contest next year. However, I must think positive, so after I’m done here, I will go pack my snow gear for the trip to Norway, or Sweden, or Denmark, or wherever the hell the contest is held. (The judges move around a lot. A moving target is harder to hit!)

NOW FOR SOME SERIOUS NEWS…… AND A BIG THANK YOU TO THE NEW “ELVIS PRESLEY FAN CLUBS” THAT HAVE SIGNED ONTO MY BLOG!!

I am honored and grateful to welcome the following clubs to our blog site….. GERAL@COFEBS.COM….. ANDREASTOECKLE69@GMAIL.COM…..ADRIAN_NICOLAE200@YAHOOGROUPS.COM…..ELVIS_FANS@YAHOOGROUPS.COM….& ELVISPRESLEY 1977@YAHOOGROUPS.COM

These wonderful people and groups have become loyal followers of my blog and I want each of them to know how much I appreciate their efforts on my behalf. BOOKS BY STEPHEN G. YANOFF now has over 2,000 followers world-wide, and it is because of folks like this that the site is so successful. I do take your interest quite seriously and try to amuse and educate about our shared fascination with Elvis and writing in general. I hope, if nothing else, that I bring a little smile your way now and then. So thanks again!

By the way, two wonderful Austin area authors have produced some new literature worth reading, so when you get a moment, GOOGLE Stephen Harrigan and Diane Fanning. Trust me, you will not be disappointed. These are two of our best.

Well, gang, that’s about all for now. I will write again when I land in Oslo, which I am flying to solo, which is just so-so, but spouses are a no-no, so now I must go-go.

Dang, those Norwegians are funny! (Instead of saying “no way,” they say “Norway.”) What jokesters.

Love to all…. (It looks like rain, dear….. “reindeer?”) All right, no more Scandinavian humor!!

Doc Yanoff