NO, I AM NOT REFERRING TO PRINCE WILLIAM AND CATHERINE MIDDLETON!

Although, they did have a nice affair.  I am referring to my own princess….. MISS RACHEL S. YANOFF!    Who has recently been wed and is now going by the name of Rachel Zell.  As I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, my eldest daughter got married last Sunday!  Her hubby’s last name is Zell, which means that she is now FURTHER back in the alphabet!  (I don’t think she can get any further, thank God.)   The Grand Affair was held on a picture perfect day in Austin.  Sunny and mid-seventies.  Not a cloud in the sky.  The entire event was held at a private mansion on the shores of Lake Austin, which, thankfully, was completely filled with water and even had some lovely white swans swimming behind the marriage platform!

We were all thrilled that most of our guests from the east and Florida were able to attend.  (Hurricane Sandy made things a little dicey for some.)  Nonetheless, Rachel and Adam had a beautiful ceremony and then partied late into the night under a magnificent tent specially erected for their wedding.  The food, music, and most of all the company, were nothing short of marvelous.  The attendees drank tons of wine (always a good thing) and danced continuously.

One of the many highlights (aside from my minor accident with the gold cart) was the round of toasts that folks gave on behalf of the bride and groom.  My toast was typically brilliant, but the best toast was given by Rachel’s gorgeous sister, Rebecca.  OMG, did she hit a home run!  She was cool, calm, and articulate……. and funny as hell.  Miss Rebecca had everyone (including her father!) in stitches revealing some of Rachel’s “deep, dark secrets” of childhood.  The lady is a natural born speaker.  The Best Man also gave a fantastic speech.  As a former collegiate speech teacher, I gave them both a grade of A.   (Now they have to study for the mid-term!)

In case you’re wondering, I did manage to sneak in a mention of THE PRESLEY PLOT!   I told the assembled guests that I felt funny giving a long speech, so with their permission, I would just read my ENTIRE novel!   (I then offered to curtail my reading to the first 10 chapters.)   Surprisingly, there were no takers.   Ah well, a “profit” is never appreciated in his own land.

This coming Saturday, Rachel and Adam are off on their honeymoon.   Those crazy kids are flying to London to stay at my favorite hotel in Europe (The Egerton House in Kensington) and then after 3 or 4 days in jolly old England, they are flying to Cape Town, South Africa!  The city is incredibly lovely, and while they are there, they plan to go on a mid-week jungle safari!  (After being around my family the last few days you would think they had their fill of wild animals!)   But noooooo…… they want to see some Lions and Elephants and Zebras and other creatures of the brush.  (I hope they meet Tarzan.)   I knew Adam liked “games,” but in a jungle??)   To each their own.

Now that the wedding bills are rolling in, I would urge you to buy hundreds of copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT to help defray the costs of this lovely event.  (Nice try, Steve.)   All right, never mind the books, how about remembering me in your prayers?  Do they still send debtors to Australia?  Hey, that would be a great way to get a free trip down under.  Just file for personal bankruptcy and then start packing!  God, I’m so smart…  why didn’t I think of that earlier?

Well, G’Day, mates, I’m off to file Chapter 11 and pack my scuba gear for the Great Barrier Reef.  I will write whence I land in Sydney, or with Sydney if he wants to come along.  Until then, I remain your faithful outback guide and Aboriginal Author……

Love to all,

Crocodile Yandee      (a/k/a Doc Yanoff)