Tennessee

October 17, 2012

INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY!

IF YOU WRITE MYSTERY NOVELS…. which I do, and you travel internationally, which I just did, would you be considered an international man of mystery?  Groovy, baby!  I thought so, too.  And frankly, that’s better than being an international house of pancakes.  (Certainly better than eating there!)  The reason I ask is that I am contemplating a trip to Oslo, Norway, to supervise the voting re-count of the Nobel Prize for Literature.  I still find it hard to believe that THE PRESLEY PLOT lost out to some hack story from Viet Nam or Ghana or Paraguay or wherever the heck that writer came from.  (I don’t trust those Third World judges….  look at the last Miss Universe Contest.  Miss Maldives wins?  What’s that about?)

Speaking of international delights….. I would like to say “szia” to Miss Monika Leipniker, a beautiful and brilliant young lady from Hungary.  I met Monika on my last trip to London and was very impressed by her keen wit and literary insight.  (Which means she liked my book!)  “Hogy vagy?”  (How are you?)   I hope all is well in Jolly Old England…. and remember, if it gets too cold in London, you’re welcome to come to Austin, Texas!

And since we’re on the subject of moving to Austin…..  If any of my worldwide followers are planning a move to our lovely city, you must get your hands on a copy of the AUSTIN RELOCATION GUIDE….. the brainchild of a local genius (and world-class poker player) named Kevin Evans.  Mr. E publishes a wonderful guide to our city, and in my humble view, it is definitely the place to start if you’re planning to relocate.  (And let’s face it, the whole world wants to live in Austin….  except Miss Maldives.)  You can reach my buddy Kevin at Kevans@argpub.com

Before I close, I would also like to welcome a few more Elvis Presley Fan Clubs.

THESE CLUBS ARE THE MAIN REASON THAT MY BLOG NOW HAS CLOSE TO 3,000 FOLLOWERS IN 37 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!

(Which is why I capitalized the entire sentence!)

So…..   A big thank you to…..  Itsonlylove4thepresleys@yahoogroups.com….. Bigethehounddogs@yahoogroups.com….. Crazy4Elvis42@yahoogroups.com….. and last, but not least,  Elivslovemetender@hotmail.com

Incidentally, on October 16, 1956 (Yesterday) the Elvis Presley film “Love Me Tender” premiered in the good old U.S.A.  (How’s that for timing?)

Well, time to walk the grand-dog…..  Have a wonderful day and be careful out there…..  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

October 7, 2012

LIFE IS A MYSTERY! (WHAT A “NOVEL” CONCEPT!)

OF COURSE, SOME DAYS ARE MORE MYSTERIOUS THAN OTHERS……

For instance, Wednesday, October 24th will be a VERY mysterious day.  How so you ask?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  On that very day (actually, at night, from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.) yours truly will be a featured author/speaker/lecturer/know-it-all at the Austin Literary Salon!

So, you might ask, who are these folks?  Well, since you asked, these are the wonderful folks who sponsor famous (and infamous) authors who live and work in the great state of Texas.  Brilliant, creative, handsome, and modest writers like me.  Shy types who feel funny about tooting their own horns.  (Or here in Austin, Longhorns.)  Writers like little old Stephen G. Yanoff, author of THE PRESLEY PLOT!

That’s right, for some inexplicable reason known only to God, I have been invited to discuss reading, writing, and arithmetic.  (The math of making money in publishing.)  Lord knows I have made a small fortune over the years.  (The key word here being “small.”)  Nevertheless, my expertise is sorely lacking, I mean, sorely needed.  I am truly honored by the invitation and look forward to putting my best foot forward.  In fact, I intend to show off both of my feet.  (I’m no heel, though!)  However, I do have a lot of “sole.”  (How did I get on shoe jokes, anyway?)

Anyway, I will be participating in a mystery writers panel at the Wildflower Terrace Apartments in East Austin.  (Located at lovely 3801 Berkman Drive, Austin, Texas.)  The event will be held in their brand new auditorium and seats are on a first-come, first-seat basis….. so get there early for a good seat!  Doors open at 6:00 p.m. and they are expecting a huge turnout due to guest speakers that will be present.  (i.e., ME!)  I understand that I will be forced to share the stage with Helen Ginger, one of the brains behind the Writers’ League of Texas and an author herself.  Oh well, I’ll have to play nice and let her say a few words.  Maybe I’ll hand her the microphone and say, “I’ve talked enough about myself, Helen.  What do you think of me?”

Yeah, there’s an idea!

By the way, the Wildflower Terrace Apartments are located on the corner of Manor Road and Berkman.  (At the entrance of the old Mueller Airport on I-35.)  If you need more information, steal a copy of the Austin American-Statesman or find a copy of the Austin Chronicle that isn’t stained with picante sauce.  You can also look for details in the book review section of the New York Times.  (You can look, but you won’t find anything.)  I wouldn’t buy any one of those Commie rags myself, but it’s your call.  Frankly, if you need directions, you can always send me an email and I will get back to you in several weeks.  (If I’m not playing video poker.)

Incidentally, the evening will include a panel discussion (why we’re discussing panels, I have no idea), a book reading, and an opportunity to actually buy a copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT and have it autographed by me!  What joy!  What fun!  What royalties!  (Hey, I never said I wanted to be a starving artist.)

Attendees are welcome to bring a camera or video recorder.  (We’ll see what “develops.”)  You can also throw under garments on the stage if you are so inclined, however, please note that this offer does NOT apply to ANY of my male friends or neighbors.  Sorry, guys, we gotta draw the line somewhere.

In all seriousness, I hope to see you there!  Most importantly, you will get to meet the charming and talented Terri Schexnayder, the organizer of this event and one of the remarkable women who make Austin such a great place to live and work.  Trust me, you will love every moment!

Take care… and love to all.

Doc Yanoff

October 3, 2012

FAKES… SNAKES… AND PATTY-CAKES!

Dearest Lovers of All Things Literary…..

On this very day, October 3rd, 1945, Elvis Presley entered a talent contest at the annual Mississippi-Alabama Fair and Dairy Show.  (The states were poor even then, so they had to combine the sponsorship!)  Anyway, one of Presley’s TEACHERS arranged for him to enter the contest after she heard him sing in class.  (Her name, just for “the record” was Mrs. Oleta Grimes.)  Elvis sang while standing on a chair and without any accompaniment.  (For those of you who went to school in New York that means without music.)  The Once and Future King sang a tender old hymn called “Old Shep.”

The poor lad won 5th prize!  (and got spanked by his mother for going on a dangerous ride!)

Well, that was NOT the case last night!  The FAKES refer to the poor folks who thought they could play poker with The Queen of Cork.  (Called thus because of her love of rose wine and also because she is VERY Irish…  think freckles!)    The SNAKES refer to yours truly, well known in poker circles (and among squares) as THE COBRA!    And finally, PATTY-CAKES is the nickname (yeah, she has several) of the woman who destroyed all of the competition at the huge and vicious My Place Poker Palace last night….. the one and only cutthroat chick, formerly known as the Corpus Christi Crusher…. Patricia Eileen McCloskey!  (nee Yanoff)

Don’t ask me how (because it’s too painful to remember) but the above poker machine ousted the mighty Cobra and several hundred others saps to place SECOND in the tournament.

She almost won the whole darn thing, but lost to a full house (the place was crowded) on the river!  (Actually, we were playing inside, not on the river, but you know what I mean.)  Yes, sir, that woman is “one of a kind” when it comes to games of chance.  And me?  Well, I played extremely good (what else is new?) but alas, my pocket queens were trumped by Big Slick on the flop.  (In keeping with THE PRESLEY PLOT theme I took my defeat well, but I insisted on singing two verses of “Don’t Be Cruel.”)

My utter grief and humiliation was short-lived… I ran into some friends in the parking lot and they asked me if they could purchase a couple of books.  (By sheer coincidence, I had several boxes, I mean, copies in my pickup truck.)  Consequently, I sold two books, autographed them, and went on my merry way… back to Merrywing Circle.  Well, I didn’t win the dang tournament or increase my standing, but I am now the best-selling author of the Jester Center Parking Lot.  (Hey, it’s all good!)

Today is sunny and pleasant down here in Austin, Texas.  I am on my way to spend some quality time with my grand-dog!  I hope you have a wonderful day, too.

(Baker, my grand-dog says hello!)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff, F.P.L.   (Former Poker Legend.)

 

 

September 24, 2012

ON THE ROAD AGAIN… AND AGAIN… AND AGAIN!

Good morning, family, friends, and faithful followers…..

As many of you know, being a writer means being a traveler.  In order to be successful in today’s publishing world, an author must spend a lot of time, effort, and money promoting their own books.  Advertising budgets have shrunk, and whatever funds are available go to well-established authors.  Seldom do publishers invest big bucks in an up and coming author like me.  (Thank God I married a rich woman!)

So…. in order to promote THE PRESLEY PLOT (and whatever books follow) I have devised a rather brilliant marketing plan!  Modesty prevents me from elaborating on the compliments that I have already received from my gardener and mailman.  However, I will share this concept with you now!  Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce…..

The S.M.A.R.T. Program!

S ales

M arketing

A nd

R oad

T rips!

Each week, until I win the Pulitzer Prize (They can keep the Nobel Prize!) I will be driving to a different Texas town or city to promote THE PRESLEY PLOT.  Upon my arrival, if there is no posse gathered in the square, I shall proceed to engage in some public speaking (pre-arranged) and hawk some books.  Hopefully, I will sell plenty of copies, but even if sales are modest, I know that I will eat well.  How do I know this, you ask?

Because my first S.M.A.R.T. Adventure will be in lovely Lockhart….. “The Barbecue Capital of Texas!”   (If not the Free World!)  Yes, I shall be joining several hundred thousand race car fanatics for the opening (or close to it) festivities of our brand new N.A.S.C.A.R. Race Track!  I’m not thrilled with watching cars go round and round, but I understand that lots of folks will be in Lockhart in the next few weeks, so it seems like a good place to start my marketing program.  (I just hope I don’t get “off track” when speaking!)

Frankly, I think Lockhart is a wonderful little town, and I’m sure they will adore THE PRESLEY PLOT.  (After all, the book is a little “saucy!”)  I just hope I don’t miss my “cue” when I’m down there!

Well, wish me luck.  I will let you know how I enjoyed this “slice” of Americana!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

September 20, 2012

ROCK AND ….. ROLLING ON!

THE PRESLEY PLOT continues to spread like a summer rash!  (Make that a wildfire.)  Thanks to one of my oldest and dearest friends the book is now in the welcoming hands of the ELVIS FAN CLUB OF VIENNA, AUSTRIA!  (Danke, Miss Ingrid!)  I hope our Austrian friends enjoy the book.  Maybe they will send me some chocolate or some strudel in return!  (Hint, hint)

Speaking of foreign countries…… our blog, “Booksbystephengyanoff,” can now be seen  in Russia, Turkey, Israel, and Ethiopia!  (Welcome to the club, folks.)  These new locations join 33 other nations around the globe.  So… welcome!  Keep those cards and letters coming and encourage your family and friends to become followers.  There is no cost or obligation to subscribe, and we run an equal opportunity to amuse site.  (K.G.B. members are not allowed to post comments.)

Now for the news…..

I recently had an opportunity to donate some books to a wonderful organization called the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.  The folks that run the Austin chapter are going to use the books in a special gift basket that will auctioned off later this month.  (A great fund-raising idea!)  If you are located in Central Texas, I strongly urge you to support this group any way you can.  They do some wonderful work and need all the help they can get.  By the way, if your group needs some autographed books to raise funds, just contact me and I will be happy to send them along.

Those of you with a keen eye for beauty might have noticed that I now have a new photograph of myself on the blog site.  At the request of my family and friends, I actually posed for a professional photographer.  (No, I didn’t take the head shot in a booth at the mall.)  I did that the first time around.  This time I paid big bucks so that my image, in all of its magnificent glory, would be captured on film.  Of course, you can still blow it up and use it on a dart board if you wish.  (I’ll get “the point” if you do that.)

Finally, on this day, in 1949,  Elvis and his family were accepted into the Memphis Housing Authority’s Lauderdale Courts.  (Nowhere near Fort Lauderdale, Florida.)  They had to pay a whopping $35 a month for a 2 bedroom, first floor apartment.  Vernon Presley (Elvis Presley’s father) was making less than $100 a month at the time, so this was not exactly “chicken feed” for them.  They managed to “scratch out” the rent each month, but the place was really “foul.”  (All right, I won’t use my joke about a “Pecking Order!”)  Let’s just say that the King came from humble beginnings, which is why he seemed to honestly appreciate his later success.  As they say, fairy tales can come true, they can happen to you …..

Well, that’s all for now.  I am playing in a huge poker tournament tonight…. so I must take a nap before the game begins.  When I get  to the game I will let the chips fall where they may!  (Hopefully in my pocket!)   Have a great day and be careful driving…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

September 16, 2012

TWO THOUSAND IS TOO GRAND!

WELL, WE DID IT!  (Actually, YOU did it.)  Thanks to you we have just reached, and will soon surpass, a very important milestone.

Our blog, “BOOKS BY STEPHENGYANOFF,” now has over 2,000 followers!

Yep, you read that right!  Over 2,000 dedicated followers!

Before I continue, I must thank all of the individuals, Elvis Fan Club Members, and my Linkedin connections for making this possible.  So…  thank you, thank you, thank you!  Words cannot express my gratitude.  I really appreciate your support, and I promise to keep the good stuff coming.  (And the bad jokes, too!)

Incidentally, thanks to you, THE PRESLEY PLOT can now be found and purchased at Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Better World Books, Google Books, Tower Books, and on Kindle!  Simply amazing!  (Hollywood has also reached out, but I will share the details later….. when I have more to report.)  Until then, just know that I am plugging along, and that I have just finished proof-reading my second mystery…. titled MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE.  In fact, I am now halfway through my third manuscript, which is set in Texas, and titled DEVIL’S COVE.  (No sense resting on my laurels…. or my hardys.)

Well, this will be a short missive, as I just wanted to share the news with you…. and let you know that things are proceeding nicely.  Very nicely!

Until we meet again…..  Take care and have a wonderful week.

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

September 9, 2012

“THE PRESLEY PLOT”….. A FRENCH BESTSELLER!

Excusez-moi, mesdames et monssieurs!

I almost forgot to mention that THE PRESLEY PLOT (“Le Complot Presley”) is now the number one bestselling mystery novel at the world famous Le Meridien Etoile bookstore in Paris!  (Eat your heart out, E.L. James!)

Proving that they have exquisite taste, the Parisians gobbled up each and every  copy that I provided!  (That dang suitcase weighed a ton!)   In England, THE PRESLEY PLOT was selling for 10 pounds, which is roughly $15 here in the U.S.    If I recall, the French were selling the book for about 12 eruos, which is about the same, give or take a few cents.  All very confusing, but that’s show biz.

I wish to publicly thank the Meridien Hotel group for their kindness.  (Do you think a “French Toast” would be appropriate?)  Why not…..  Vive la France!   Incidentally, they were also sweet enough to provide a very lovely room upgrade on my return visit… a great room overlooking the Eiffel Tower!  Very kind and most memorable.

In truth, the “French Connection,” (meaning the bookstore) was a complete surprise, and I am most grateful to the charming demoiselle that offered to feature my modest tale.  (I do feel a little guilty.  I told her that I was Victor Hugo’s great-grandson.)  What some folks won’t do for fame!

Hopefully my commission will be paid in euros.  (Then I’ll have to go back to Paris to spend all that loot!)  And you thought being a writer was easy?  Ha!   The pressure never stops!  (All right, maybe it lets up a little while you’re munching on caviar and drinking champagne, but that’s about it.)   By the way, the French word “etoile,” means “star” in English.  Now I ask you, was there ever a bigger star than Elvis Presley?  I think not.  Another strange coincidence!

Well, I must leave you now.  I am flipping through a catalog of French countryside chateaus….. just in case THE PRESLEY PLOT takes off.  I’m torn between the Medoc region and Burgundy.  Decisions, decisions!  I guess it will come down to wine.  I’ll keep you informed of my progress…..

L’Amour pour tous…..

Au Renoir,

Doc Yanoff

July 13, 2012

THE “SEASONED” CITIZENS CENTER…..

Good day, ladies and gentlemen…..

As some of you know, I spent several years serving as a volunteer chaperon at the Austin Senior Citizen’s Center.  (No, they weren’t being naughty!  We were going on field trips around Central Texas.)  I enjoyed every minute, and lately I have continued to speak at some of their meetings, as well as some of the large AARP groups that we have down in these parts.  The turnout and reception are always good, and my most recent foray was no different.

After a brief discussion about THE PRESLEY PLOT (and high blood pressure!) I took some questions from the audience, and guess what???   There was a lovely woman in the group (somewhere between 90 and 95 years old) who actually met Elvis Presley during her youth!  In fact, she met him in two countries at once!  (Sort of.)

Apparently, The King performed on this very day at the “international” site known as…..   NIAGARA FALLS!   (On the U.S./Canadian border)  The year was 1974 or 1975.

When she first mentioned Niagara, an older gentleman thought she said “Viagra” and he became quite interested in our conversation.  He seemed rather disappointed when he learned that we were talking about the falls.  Ah well, such is life.

The dear lady had a vivid memory of the Presley concert and even after all of these many years, she is still a huge fan.  (She purchased two copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT, one for each of her grandchildren.  Take that, Snoop Dog!)

Today is sunny and warm, so I must leave you now.  (My “grand-dog” is staying with us this week, and he needs to go to the park.)  Be well and be careful…..

 

Doc Yanoff