IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE HEAT…..

STAY OUT OF TEXAS!  Actually, the phrase goes like this…  “If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.”  Truman said that.  Who knew that Truman Capote was so concerned about the weather?  Live and learn.  Make that, live and burn, if you live in Texas.  So here’s the deal…  Yesterday it was 106 degrees, which keeps the riff raff off of the golf course, and this morning it is 75 degrees.  By my calculation, that would be a 31 degree swing!  (The participation is 40%)  I think more folks would participate if it was cooler.  Just saying.

As you can see, we are now enjoying the “Dog Days of Summer.”  (The weather has been very “ruff.”)  Just in case you become a contestant on a game show, I think you should know that this term applies to a 40-day period from early July to early September.  There are many myths concerning the origin of the term, but in fact, it was coined in ancient Rome.  “Dog Days” refers to the rising and setting of the second brightest star besides the sun.  (no, not me.)  That would be Sirius, the Dog Star.  Sirius was one “hot dog.”  During this 40 day period, the temperatures rose astronomically, so to speak, and folks began to refer to the “Dog Days” of the year.

I know what you’re thinking.  Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.  Well, just for the record, that quote is often misattributed to Mark Twain (one of my literary idols).  In fact, it was first uttered by Charles Dudley Walker, an American essayist and novelist.  (Who was also a close friend of Mark Twain.)  So you see, I’m not the only one who steals material from a colleague!  (As I often say, “If they ain’t heard it before, it’s original!)

And speaking of original ideas and literary genius…..  THE PRESLEY PLOT and MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE continue to rack up some impressive sales, and earlier this week, our blog gained two new countries!  Yours truly is now a best-selling author in the Philippines and in Madagascar!  (Just between you and me, Madagascar sounds like a race car organization.  But hey, the place has a population of 18 million readers, I mean, people.)  In any case, WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

Last Friday was an important day in the world of quality literature.  I finally finished my final revisions on DEVIL’S COVE, and the manuscript was sent to the printer!  We also corrected the spacing of the letters on the front cover, and now it looks marvelous, simply marvelous.  I’m told that I should have the first copy in several weeks, and then shortly thereafter, it will be available on all of the major internet markets.  Please feel obligated to purchase at least one copy.  (My air-conditioning bill is going to be high this month!)

I shall leave you with this profound thought….   All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to criticism!

Have a safe and pleasant week…..    Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

DO NOT READ THIS SENTENCE!

OOPS, TOO LATE… NOW YOU HAVE TO READ MY ENTIRE BLOG POST…

SO….. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder or smart phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?  Well, almost no one.  CNN reports that there are 500 “sightings” per month, but alas, most are aircraft (earthly ones) or weather balloons.  I recently read that both Jimmy Carter and Dennis Kucinich are among the political class who swear to have seen a UFO.  Somehow, this does not surprise me.  I always wondered where their “home districts” really were.

Of course, there is another explanation… perhaps our intergalactic visitors have been furloughed due to the sequester?  Takes a lot of fuel to go from Mars to Earth, and then there are the tolls.  Not an easy trip.  (The AAA map weighs 75 pounds!)

Well, in any case, I am not interested in heading north.  No sir, my motto this week was “Go west, young man!”  Heeding the words of Horace Greeley, I packed up the old Ford pickup and drove west, bound for a sold-out book signing/speaking engagement in the lovely town of Wimberley, Texas.  (No, I did not go to Wimberley on a whim!)

I was actually invited, and I must admit, Wimberley is quite whimsical in a wonderful way.  (Whew!)  This was not my first trip to the lovely burgh, but the last time I was there I went swimming in the famous “blue hole,” a charming, spring-fed spot on Cypress Creek.  If you haven’t seen this little gem, you owe it to yourself to take a drive out yonder.  (If you go in April, you will see some truly amazing fields of Texas wildflowers.)  Did you know that they named a flower after Dennis Rodman?  (It’s called a “bloomin’ idiot!”)

So what else is new…..  Well, last night we celebrated not one, but two birthdays!  Miss Barbara (Talbott) and Miss Patty (Yanoff) reached an important milestone.  (Actually, they are both several miles down the road, if you know what I mean.)  Together with a large crowd of well-wishers (led by Judge Susan, and Helena and Lee Bomblatus) we ate, drank, made merry.  (Merry was our waitress.)  Thank God she didn’t complain about my tip.  Geez, that would have been embarrassing!

During the birthday festivities, Judge Susan gave me a box of cheese pockets from a famous Dallas bakery (No, I will NOT post the name…. the lines are getting too long!) and as I peck away, I am devouring the last tender morsels of my morning treat.  Bless you, Susan.

I will be sharing a beer or two with Larry Brill on Tuesday, so if you would like to meet this (semi) famous television personality, or learn about his forthcoming literary efforts, drop by North by Northwest around 5 p.m.  (We should still be erect by then.)

After my sterling (make that silver-plated) performance at the poker table last week, I will be putting my title on the line this evening…. as I play in another W.S.O.P. tournament, challenged, as it were, by a host of pretenders-to-the-throne.  Knaves!  Varmints!  Visigoths!  (What the hell is that?)  Do these fools really think they can beat the mighty COBRA?   Have they read THE PRESLEY PLOT?  Have they read MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE?   (I couldn’t think of any other way to get the book titles into the blog.)  Never mind, those are just rhetorical questions.

I will leave you with a thought I recently had.  As I was driving back from Wimberly, I spotted a herd of cattle.  Have you heard of cattle?  I digress… So as I’m driving down the highway, I says to myself, “Steve, I says, who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out.’ ”   Now there’s a fellow I’d like to meet.  (Need I mention that he had a “lot of pull?”)  Got Milk?

Well, I must run… another grueling day of writing, eating, drinking, and poker awaits the mighty Cobra!  I hope everyone has a great week….   don’t forget to set your clocks ahead or back, depending on your political persuasion.  Love to all…

Doc Yanoff

 

 

TWO THOUSAND IS TOO GRAND!

WELL, WE DID IT!  (Actually, YOU did it.)  Thanks to you we have just reached, and will soon surpass, a very important milestone.

Our blog, “BOOKS BY STEPHENGYANOFF,” now has over 2,000 followers!

Yep, you read that right!  Over 2,000 dedicated followers!

Before I continue, I must thank all of the individuals, Elvis Fan Club Members, and my Linkedin connections for making this possible.  So…  thank you, thank you, thank you!  Words cannot express my gratitude.  I really appreciate your support, and I promise to keep the good stuff coming.  (And the bad jokes, too!)

Incidentally, thanks to you, THE PRESLEY PLOT can now be found and purchased at Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Better World Books, Google Books, Tower Books, and on Kindle!  Simply amazing!  (Hollywood has also reached out, but I will share the details later….. when I have more to report.)  Until then, just know that I am plugging along, and that I have just finished proof-reading my second mystery…. titled MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE.  In fact, I am now halfway through my third manuscript, which is set in Texas, and titled DEVIL’S COVE.  (No sense resting on my laurels…. or my hardys.)

Well, this will be a short missive, as I just wanted to share the news with you…. and let you know that things are proceeding nicely.  Very nicely!

Until we meet again…..  Take care and have a wonderful week.

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff