November 14, 2012

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!

WHILE ELVIS WAS THE UNDISPUTED KING OF LAS VEGAS……. There is another person who certainly deserves to be mentioned with reverence…..The great poker player named Steve Gee, who just finished 9th (out of a zillion other players) at the World Series of Poker! If you have been following this blog (and let’s face it, who hasn’t?) you know that Steve is the talented brother of my beautiful and brilliant friend, Diane Gee. Steve made a fantastic run for the gold and played against some of the best poker players in the world (luck for him, I was busy that week) and we are all proud of his accomplishment. And don’t feel sorry for the lad! Steve walked away with…… $754,798 for his efforts!! Not bad for one week’s work, eh? In case you’re wondering, that’s the same amount of my book royalties for THE PRESLEY PLOT. (Hey, a guy can dream!)

If you want to see Steve’s “farewell” interview at the tournament, just Google: “Steve Gee, World Series of Poker.” There is a “live” interview posted on this website. The interviewer forgot to ask him about his favorite author (would you like to guess who that might be??) but it is still worth watching.

NOW ON TO ELVIS……. My beautiful and brilliant cousin, Susan Wilson, the woman who single-handedly runs JRS Investments in Nashville, sent me a most interesting article about the King. For those of you in Tennessee (Five Tennessee Fan Clubs are on my blog) please note that the Tennessee State Museum is offering an exhibit (starting on November 8th.) called……. “ELVIS AT 21: Photographs by Alfred Wertheimer.” The exhibit will include 56 images of the King, most of them captured before Col. Parker took over and limited the number of photos that could be taken. I have seen a few of these photographs, and I can honesty say that they are quite fascinating. If you’re interested, the exhibit will be at the museum until January 8th.

By the way, the most interesting photograph in the exhibit shows ELVIS in New York City (my “home town”) on the very day that the old boy made history by recording not one, but two songs that would become number one hits in a very short time……. Would you like this to be our trivia question of the week? Very well, please fill in the blanks listed below this paragraph and mail them to: ATTN: JILL KELLEY

56 FLOOZY BLVD., TAMPA, FLORIDA

You will be notified by the Pentagon if you win the trivia contest. Please note that if you do enter the contest you will immediately be subject to being drafted. If you are chosen for military service in a country with many goats, please do not despair. The contest sponsors are offering free air fare to and from Islamabad.

Well, on that semi-humorous note, I shall bid you adieu. I would like to remind you that last Sunday was Veterans Day, so if you know someone who served in the military, please thank them for their service to our country. God knows we all owe them a huge round of applause for a job well done. (Way to go, Cousin Max!)

Have a wonderful day and do not ask why “sour cream” has an expiration date! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

November 11, 2012

SPEAKING OF TEXAS…..

“I SORTA GOT MY START IN TEXAS,” A reflective Elvis Presley told reporters at Dallas’ Love Field in August 1958. The King was on his way to Fort Hood at the time (to complete his basic training) and he told the reporters that just a few years earlier, a largely unknown ELVIS had thrilled audiences throughout the Lone Star State. In fact, one of Presley’s first shows was held in the East Texas town of Gladewater. (A charming hamlet that I visited several years ago, while I was doing some research for THE PRESLEY PLOT) Just for the record, I discovered that Elvis played more than a hundred shows in Texas from 1954 to 1956, arguably the most important years of his long career.

Since I am now a world renowned author of sorts (I said “sort of”) I would highly recommend that my brilliant blog followers check out a couple of books on the subject to satisfy their own curiosity about the King’s early years. Mr. Stanley Oberst (of Waco) has written two little gems titled ELVIS IN TEXAS and ELVIS PRESLEY: ROCKIN’ ACROSS TEXAS. These delightful books are most interesting and informative, and when combined with a revised edition of THE PRESLEY PLOT, make up the world’s greatest trilogy of Elvis Presley books. (According to the author of the last book mentioned.)

Incidentally, since I often mention and thank the many Elvis Presley Fan Clubs that have supported my book and blog, I would like to present you with some interesting trivia…… Did you folks know that the very first Elvis Presley Fan Club, founded by 17-year-old Dallasite Kay Wheeler, was formed in February, 1956?? Did you know that nine months later the club had over 5,000 members?? Did you know that she actually reviewed on the King’s Cotton Bowl performances?? Did you know that it’s not necessary to use two question marks at the end of a sentence??

Well, there you have it friends. Enough Elvis info to fill a trunk….. and speaking of trunks….. My darling Rachel (Eldest Daughter) is now on Safari in deepest, darkest Africa, surrounded by herds of elephants. (You’ve heard of Elephants, right?) I hope she packed her own trunk and brought a rifle. Her new hubby, Adam Zell, made friends with a Zulu war chief (who just happened to be a Pittsburgh Steelers fan) and the two of them went looking for Tarzan and Jane one night. (No telling what those crazy kids were up to.) Anyway, Adam sent me a most unusual telegram, which I would like to share with my readers:

WESTERN UNION. NOV. 9, 2012.

ARRIVED IN CAPE TOWN. STOP. NICE TOWN. STOP. VERY FEW CAPES. STOP. HAD TO USE MEN’S ROOM. STOP. NO PUBLIC TOILETS. STOP. HAD TO TAKE A PITH. STOP. USED PITH HELMET. STOP. LAST NIGHT WAS CRAZY. STOP. SHOT A LION IN MY PAJAMAS. STOP. HOW HE GOT IN MY PAJAMAS IS A MYSTERY. STOP. MUST LEAVE YOU NOW. STOP. HAVING AUTHENTIC AFRICAN LUNCH. STOP. BOILED MISSIONARY. STOP. I COULD MAKE MORE JOKES, BUT I’M SURE THAT YOU WANT ME TO ……STOP!!!

Ah, to be young and in love! Sounds like the lovebirds are having fun. Glad I took my credit cards back.

Thanks for tuning in this morning! I hope you all have a joyous Sunday and a productive work week. I will write again soon…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

November 5, 2012

IT’S NOW OR NEVER!

GOTCHA! You thought I was referring to our presidential election, right? Well, I’m not. Kindly remember that this is, after all, first and foremost a site dedicated to enriching me as an author, I mean, enlightening the world about Elvis Presley. (One of the two!)

In any case, I was referring to the song “It’s Now or Never,” which reached the number one spot in the U.K. on this very day in 1960. I thought it was rather appropriate, considering our upcoming election. Please….. regardless of who you vote for….vote! A strong democracy depends on an informed and engaged electorate…. and please remember to spell my last name correctly…. there are two “f’s” in my last name. (and several more on my report cards!)

I mention the above only because I assume that most of you will be voting for me again. If not, I want my five dollars back. (and you will have no chance of being mentioned in the next “Acknowledgement Section.”) By the way, the next mystery novel, MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE, was just reviewed (albeit informally) by one of our local best-selling authors….. and the verdict was quite pleasant. Our semi-famous reviewer actually liked it better than THE PRESLEY PLOT! (Same as the Nobel Prize crowd!)

In all (or most) seriousness, this bodes well and I will be quite anxious to see what the publisher thinks. I should know something by the end of the month. (I know a few things now, but they have nothing to do with publishing.)

For those of you who are following the honeymoon adventures of my eldest daughter Rachel, I am happy to report that she and Adam have landed safely in London and are happily ensconced at the lovely Egerton House Hotel in Kensington. The amazing hotel staff greeted them en masse and were sweet enough to provide some complimentary champagne for the love-birds! After a brief nap, the kids intend to hit the ground running, which should be quite interesting with Rachel in charge. (Miss Rachel actually lived in London one or two summers, and she knows the city quite well.) Do not be surprised if Adam winds up in the Tower of London!!

For you ELVIS PRESLEY FAN CLUB MEMBERS…… I will be speaking and signing books at a fan club meeting in Waco, Texas, on Wednesday. You can get the details by checking your fan club mail box. (A notice was sent to all clubs yesterday.) The heading reads, “The Presley Plot Thickens!” All are welcome and there will be plenty of books to purchase. Hope to see you there!

Well, now that Rachel is in England, I am dog-sitting Baker….. and he has just signaled me that it is time to head for the dog park! (Don’t ask how) So….. I need to go and find his leash. (I really wish he would stop hiding the darn thing!) I enjoy having a granddog, but he always needs to go when I’m writing. (Hey, do you think he’s trying to tell me something?) Bad dog! It’s only a “ruff draft!” (I had to get in one doggie joke.)

Take care and enjoy our lovely weather……. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

October 25, 2012

NEVER A DULL MOMENT!

WHERE DO I BEGIN? Well, let’s start with the exciting news that my dear friend Diane Gee has recently shared with me….. (Diane is one of the charming ladies that run the office of Dr. Michael Williamson, another friend, and the world’s BEST periodontist!) I have know Diane for over 10 years, but only recently did her wonderful brother Steve (probably named after me) start playing professional poker. Steve now spends a great deal of time in Las Vegas, and will soon (October 28th) be spending even more time there because…… Steve Gee just made it to the final table of THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER!!

I am very excited about all of this, especially because I have formally suggested Steve’s new “professional nickname.” Are you ready for this? All right, Steve will now be known as “THE G-MAN.” I love the connection to his last name, and the fact that he is connected to the Feds. (Although I think an I.R.S. connection would have been better, because if Steve wins the whole enchilada, he will receive $8,500,ooo!!!!!)

Good luck, buddy! We here in Austin will be rooting for you! (And don’t forget to hold up a copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT whenever the camera swings to you!) The Elvis t-shirts are on the way.

MORE EXCITING NEWS…… Last night’s Literary Salon Event was a huge success! The audience was alive and kicking, and we had a marvelous time discussing mystery novels, publishing, and the lack of parking spaces at the Wildflower Terrace. (Which is a very lovely venue, I might add.) Our wonderful hostess, Terri Schexnayder, held a pre-seminar party in her brand new apartment, and some of the guests (i.e., Ms. Beverly Horne) wore Halloween costumes. The wine and food were greatly appreciated, and so was the post-seminar book signing. The lovely and talented Helen Ginger was my co-panelist, and together we sold many, many books. SO THANK YOU AGAIN, TERRI!

After the mystery seminar, I joined some dear friends for a late-night Cajun snack. (Which consisted of great fried oysters, catfish, and Abita Beer.) I must say, it was a wonderful conclusion to a most wonderful day. And by the way, since one of the couples (Max and Barbara Talbott, of the Chateau Talbott Family in France) was at our table, I will end this post by mentioning something about their home state, Indiana…..

Thirty-six years ago today, ELVIS PRESLEY performed a memorable concert in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The show was held at the Memorial Coliseum, and there were roughly 14,000 people in attendance. The crowd was VERY enthusiastic, and just by coincidence, Elvis had just released a wonderful rendition of “How Great Thou Art.”

Naturally, the next day’s headline read: “How Great He Was!” Those in attendance swear that this was one of The King’s best shows….. and I don’t doubt it. I just wonder if Elvis began the concert by asking the crowd…. “Hoosier Mama?”

A “Hoosier” is a resident of Indiana, but the etymology of the word is actually unkown. (Some folks think the word comes from “hoo,” meaning high or hill in the old Angl0-Saxon language, or “hoozer” which means large) Whatever the case, the good people of Indiana made Elvis feel quite welcome, and we should do our best to welcome them to Texas. (Here we have a sneaky reference to my lovely birthday gift to Max Talbott, which will certainly get him “high.”) Think Bourbon.

Well, gang, I must run….. Sunday is my sweet Rachel’s wedding day (my oldest daughter) and we are putting together “gift boxes” for our out-of-town guests. The story of Rachel’s wedding will be told in future blogs…. and you will not want to miss a single installment! I shall write again soon…… Love to all……

Doc Yanoff, The Father of the Bride!

October 21, 2012

BREAKING NEWS!

WHO NEEDS NORWAY? I say no way, Norway, you can keep that dang Nobel Prize for Boring Literature….. I have some really exciting news!

As some (most?) of you know, I was sailing through the Panama Canal on the day that the publisher sent me the final galleys for THE PRESLEY PLOT. Since I was preparing for a prolonged jungle trip (To visit the Embera Indians) my mind was on survival gear and head-hunting techniques, and so I did a VERY poor job of proofreading my own manuscript! Nobody to blame but myself, although I still think the tribal witch doctor put a curse on me. (He was a Jerry Lee Lewis fan.)

Anyway….. the good folks at Aberdeen Bay Publishing, having completely sold out of all the first editions of THE PRESLEY PLOT (and recognizing genius when they see it) have kindly agreed to make ALL OF THE CORRECTIONS for the second edition! For me, this is wonderful news. I was really annoyed that I did such a poor job proofreading, but now I have a chance to redeem myself. Frankly, this is probably the only reason that I did not win the Nobel Prize. (What else could it be?) In any case, the second edition will be out shortly and available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Googlebooks.com, etc. If you bought a first edition and want to trade it in, just let me know and I will be happy to make an exchange. (I intend to give the first editions to a charitable organization.) However, I understand that error laden books are actually valuable if and when the author becomes famous….. think of the stamps that are so valuable because of printing errors. So…. you might want to hold on to your first copy.

And since we are on the subject of publishing….. the brilliant acquisitions editor at Aberdeen Bay Books (who is also an accomplished author) has requested that I promptly forward a copy of my second mystery novel titled….. MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE. I am hoping to hear something positive in a month or so, and I will keep you informed of my progress. Keep your fingers (and some of your toes) crossed for me! My editor, a wonderful professional named Karl Monger, actually enjoyed the second book more than the first, which is a very good sign. Of course, as you know by now, there are no guarantees in the competitive world of publishing.

Finally, I would like to remind those that live in or near Austin, that I will be a featured speaker/panelist at a mystery writers seminar this coming Wednesday. The event is being sponsored by the Austin Literary Salon. The location of the event will be at Wildflower Terrace Apartments, 3801 Berkman Drive. (In their main auditorium) The festivities begin promptly at 6:30 p.m. and end at 8:30 p.m. As I mentioned previously, there will be a panel discussion, a Q & A session, and then a book reading and book signing. Admission is almost free, and a gourmet dinner prepared by a world famous French chef will be available. (For the modest sum of $12,000 per person, not including wine.) What a bargain! What a steal! Buy a book! Get a meal!

All right, enough with the marketing routine. If you’re free, come down and join the fun. You will not be disappointed. They are expecting a sold out crowd, so plan to arrive by 6 p.m. if you want to get a good seat. (And remember to ask me some easy questions and laugh at all of my dumb jokes!)

Well, I’m off to get ready for another Sunday function with some of my major blog followers up in Round Rock. Mrs. Helena Bomblatus (a charming and lovely woman from Portugal) is hosting an elaborate (and authentic) dinner party, featuring gourmet goodies from the Azores. She is quite the chef, and I am anxiously awaiting her most recent culinary creation. It will also be nice to be surrounded by a fawning bunch of psychopaths, I mean, sycophants, who think I’m the best thing since white bread. Ah, the price of fame. Well, it’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. (I can really sympathize with Brad Pitt.)

Have a wonderful Sunday and be careful out there…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

October 17, 2012

INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY!

IF YOU WRITE MYSTERY NOVELS…. which I do, and you travel internationally, which I just did, would you be considered an international man of mystery? Groovy, baby! I thought so, too. And frankly, that’s better than being an international house of pancakes. (Certainly better than eating there!) The reason I ask is that I am contemplating a trip to Oslo, Norway, to supervise the voting re-count of the Nobel Prize for Literature. I still find it hard to believe that THE PRESLEY PLOT lost out to some hack story from Viet Nam or Ghana or Paraguay or wherever the heck that writer came from. (I don’t trust those Third World judges…. look at the last Miss Universe Contest. Miss Maldives wins? What’s that about?)

Speaking of international delights….. I would like to say “szia” to Miss Monika Leipniker, a beautiful and brilliant young lady from Hungary. I met Monika on my last trip to London and was very impressed by her keen wit and literary insight. (Which means she liked my book!) “Hogy vagy?” (How are you?) I hope all is well in Jolly Old England…. and remember, if it gets too cold in London, you’re welcome to come to Austin, Texas!

And since we’re on the subject of moving to Austin….. If any of my worldwide followers are planning a move to our lovely city, you must get your hands on a copy of the AUSTIN RELOCATION GUIDE….. the brainchild of a local genius (and world-class poker player) named Kevin Evans. Mr. E publishes a wonderful guide to our city, and in my humble view, it is definitely the place to start if you’re planning to relocate. (And let’s face it, the whole world wants to live in Austin…. except Miss Maldives.) You can reach my buddy Kevin at Kevans@argpub.com

Before I close, I would also like to welcome a few more Elvis Presley Fan Clubs.

THESE CLUBS ARE THE MAIN REASON THAT MY BLOG NOW HAS CLOSE TO 3,000 FOLLOWERS IN 37 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!

(Which is why I capitalized the entire sentence!)

So….. A big thank you to….. Itsonlylove4thepresleys@yahoogroups.com….. Bigethehounddogs@yahoogroups.com….. Crazy4Elvis42@yahoogroups.com….. and last, but not least, Elivslovemetender@hotmail.com

Incidentally, on October 16, 1956 (Yesterday) the Elvis Presley film “Love Me Tender” premiered in the good old U.S.A. (How’s that for timing?)

Well, time to walk the grand-dog….. Have a wonderful day and be careful out there….. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

October 14, 2012

FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

I don’t know about you, but I think about food all of the time. (Except when I’m eating.) So….. I was very happy to celebrate my recent poker victory at a wonderful new Hill Country restaurant called VERDE’S MEXICAN PARILLA. (Parilla means “grill.”) Unlike THE PRESLEY PLOT, there’s no cover, but they do have a great story to tell. Cody Kidwell is the amazingly talented chef, and if you ever want to sample the best bacon wrapped quail on earth, then drive over to Hamilton Pool Road and pull up a chair on their lovely outdoor patio. (And don’t forget to order the tequila cheesecake!)

Now for some Elvis Presley Food Trivia…..

What was the King’s favorite snack?

A. Priscilla Presley

B. Possum & grits

C. Peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwich

If you chose A or B we need to talk. The correct answer is C. (Everyone knows that Elvis was a health nut.)

And since we’re on the subject of Elvis Presley, I wish to extend a warm welcome to our newest Elvis Presley Fan Club groups….. Elvisworld@yahoogroups.com…..Kostas20052002@yahoogroups.com…..Elviest_ Group@yahoogroups.com…. and Elvis_101@yahoogroups.com

If you get a chance, please support these wonderful groups by leaving them a nice message. They all do a great job of keeping the memory of Elvis alive. Thanks again, folks!

By the way, I haven’t mentioned the Nobel Prize for Literature (and my apparent snub) because I have requested a re-count of the votes from a guy named Sven. (I will keep you “posted” on the outcome.) In the meantime, please join my Norwegian boycott by not eating pickled herring or grilled reindeer. (This should be fairly easy.)

Have a great week and be careful out there!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

October 10, 2012

MY EYES ARE ON THE PRIZE!

WELL, TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY…..

What big day you ask? The day that the Nobel Prize for Literature is announced! If you have read THE PRESLEY PLOT you know why I am so excited. I don’t mean to boast, but surely the committee will be able to recognize raw genius. Maybe even “well done” genius. If so, I am a shoe-in to win the prize for “Outstanding Mystery Writing Of Novels Dealing With Lost Tapes Of Elvis Presley.” Yes, I understand that this is a very narrow category, but so what? (Who reads poetry?)

The grand announcement will be made tomorrow morning, and to be perfectly honest, I doubt that I will get much sleep tonight. (After all, I am playing poker.) If I don’t win, I intend to be a good sport about things. (I’m referring to the book, not the poker game.) Frankly, after some of the recent Nobel Prizes, I am starting to question the judgement of the judges. (Too much pickled herring will pickle the old mind.) If I lose, I intend to demand a recount, and then I will insist that Judge Judy handle the contest next year. However, I must think positive, so after I’m done here, I will go pack my snow gear for the trip to Norway, or Sweden, or Denmark, or wherever the hell the contest is held. (The judges move around a lot. A moving target is harder to hit!)

NOW FOR SOME SERIOUS NEWS…… AND A BIG THANK YOU TO THE NEW “ELVIS PRESLEY FAN CLUBS” THAT HAVE SIGNED ONTO MY BLOG!!

I am honored and grateful to welcome the following clubs to our blog site….. GERAL@COFEBS.COM….. ANDREASTOECKLE69@GMAIL.COM…..ADRIAN_NICOLAE200@YAHOOGROUPS.COM…..ELVIS_FANS@YAHOOGROUPS.COM….& ELVISPRESLEY 1977@YAHOOGROUPS.COM

These wonderful people and groups have become loyal followers of my blog and I want each of them to know how much I appreciate their efforts on my behalf. BOOKS BY STEPHEN G. YANOFF now has over 2,000 followers world-wide, and it is because of folks like this that the site is so successful. I do take your interest quite seriously and try to amuse and educate about our shared fascination with Elvis and writing in general. I hope, if nothing else, that I bring a little smile your way now and then. So thanks again!

By the way, two wonderful Austin area authors have produced some new literature worth reading, so when you get a moment, GOOGLE Stephen Harrigan and Diane Fanning. Trust me, you will not be disappointed. These are two of our best.

Well, gang, that’s about all for now. I will write again when I land in Oslo, which I am flying to solo, which is just so-so, but spouses are a no-no, so now I must go-go.

Dang, those Norwegians are funny! (Instead of saying “no way,” they say “Norway.”) What jokesters.

Love to all…. (It looks like rain, dear….. “reindeer?”) All right, no more Scandinavian humor!!

Doc Yanoff

October 7, 2012

LIFE IS A MYSTERY! (WHAT A “NOVEL” CONCEPT!)

OF COURSE, SOME DAYS ARE MORE MYSTERIOUS THAN OTHERS……

For instance, Wednesday, October 24th will be a VERY mysterious day. How so you ask? Well, I’m glad you asked. On that very day (actually, at night, from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.) yours truly will be a featured author/speaker/lecturer/know-it-all at the Austin Literary Salon!

So, you might ask, who are these folks? Well, since you asked, these are the wonderful folks who sponsor famous (and infamous) authors who live and work in the great state of Texas. Brilliant, creative, handsome, and modest writers like me. Shy types who feel funny about tooting their own horns. (Or here in Austin, Longhorns.) Writers like little old Stephen G. Yanoff, author of THE PRESLEY PLOT!

That’s right, for some inexplicable reason known only to God, I have been invited to discuss reading, writing, and arithmetic. (The math of making money in publishing.) Lord knows I have made a small fortune over the years. (The key word here being “small.”) Nevertheless, my expertise is sorely lacking, I mean, sorely needed. I am truly honored by the invitation and look forward to putting my best foot forward. In fact, I intend to show off both of my feet. (I’m no heel, though!) However, I do have a lot of “sole.” (How did I get on shoe jokes, anyway?)

Anyway, I will be participating in a mystery writers panel at the Wildflower Terrace Apartments in East Austin. (Located at lovely 3801 Berkman Drive, Austin, Texas.) The event will be held in their brand new auditorium and seats are on a first-come, first-seat basis….. so get there early for a good seat! Doors open at 6:00 p.m. and they are expecting a huge turnout due to guest speakers that will be present. (i.e., ME!) I understand that I will be forced to share the stage with Helen Ginger, one of the brains behind the Writers’ League of Texas and an author herself. Oh well, I’ll have to play nice and let her say a few words. Maybe I’ll hand her the microphone and say, “I’ve talked enough about myself, Helen. What do you think of me?”

Yeah, there’s an idea!

By the way, the Wildflower Terrace Apartments are located on the corner of Manor Road and Berkman. (At the entrance of the old Mueller Airport on I-35.) If you need more information, steal a copy of the Austin American-Statesman or find a copy of the Austin Chronicle that isn’t stained with picante sauce. You can also look for details in the book review section of the New York Times. (You can look, but you won’t find anything.) I wouldn’t buy any one of those Commie rags myself, but it’s your call. Frankly, if you need directions, you can always send me an email and I will get back to you in several weeks. (If I’m not playing video poker.)

Incidentally, the evening will include a panel discussion (why we’re discussing panels, I have no idea), a book reading, and an opportunity to actually buy a copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT and have it autographed by me! What joy! What fun! What royalties! (Hey, I never said I wanted to be a starving artist.)

Attendees are welcome to bring a camera or video recorder. (We’ll see what “develops.”) You can also throw under garments on the stage if you are so inclined, however, please note that this offer does NOT apply to ANY of my male friends or neighbors. Sorry, guys, we gotta draw the line somewhere.

In all seriousness, I hope to see you there! Most importantly, you will get to meet the charming and talented Terri Schexnayder, the organizer of this event and one of the remarkable women who make Austin such a great place to live and work. Trust me, you will love every moment!

Take care… and love to all.

Doc Yanoff

October 3, 2012

FAKES… SNAKES… AND PATTY-CAKES!

Dearest Lovers of All Things Literary…..

On this very day, October 3rd, 1945, Elvis Presley entered a talent contest at the annual Mississippi-Alabama Fair and Dairy Show. (The states were poor even then, so they had to combine the sponsorship!) Anyway, one of Presley’s TEACHERS arranged for him to enter the contest after she heard him sing in class. (Her name, just for “the record” was Mrs. Oleta Grimes.) Elvis sang while standing on a chair and without any accompaniment. (For those of you who went to school in New York that means without music.) The Once and Future King sang a tender old hymn called “Old Shep.”

The poor lad won 5th prize! (and got spanked by his mother for going on a dangerous ride!)

Well, that was NOT the case last night! The FAKES refer to the poor folks who thought they could play poker with The Queen of Cork. (Called thus because of her love of rose wine and also because she is VERY Irish… think freckles!) The SNAKES refer to yours truly, well known in poker circles (and among squares) as THE COBRA! And finally, PATTY-CAKES is the nickname (yeah, she has several) of the woman who destroyed all of the competition at the huge and vicious My Place Poker Palace last night….. the one and only cutthroat chick, formerly known as the Corpus Christi Crusher…. Patricia Eileen McCloskey! (nee Yanoff)

Don’t ask me how (because it’s too painful to remember) but the above poker machine ousted the mighty Cobra and several hundred others saps to place SECOND in the tournament.

She almost won the whole darn thing, but lost to a full house (the place was crowded) on the river! (Actually, we were playing inside, not on the river, but you know what I mean.) Yes, sir, that woman is “one of a kind” when it comes to games of chance. And me? Well, I played extremely good (what else is new?) but alas, my pocket queens were trumped by Big Slick on the flop. (In keeping with THE PRESLEY PLOT theme I took my defeat well, but I insisted on singing two verses of “Don’t Be Cruel.”)

My utter grief and humiliation was short-lived… I ran into some friends in the parking lot and they asked me if they could purchase a couple of books. (By sheer coincidence, I had several boxes, I mean, copies in my pickup truck.) Consequently, I sold two books, autographed them, and went on my merry way… back to Merrywing Circle. Well, I didn’t win the dang tournament or increase my standing, but I am now the best-selling author of the Jester Center Parking Lot. (Hey, it’s all good!)

Today is sunny and pleasant down here in Austin, Texas. I am on my way to spend some quality time with my grand-dog! I hope you have a wonderful day, too.

(Baker, my grand-dog says hello!)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff, F.P.L. (Former Poker Legend.)