Mystery Novels

August 26, 2012

ELVIS! EVIAN! EIFFEL!

BON JOUR MADEMOISELLE ET MONSIEUR AMERICANO!

Well, after four days in Paris, France, all I can say is…..  VIVE LA FRANCE! …..VIVA LAS VEGAS! ….. VIVA ZAPATA!    What a grand and beautiful city is Paris, “The City of Lights.”  (Not to be confused with Las Vegas, “The City of Fights.”)  I must say from “ze getgo”  (not an official French term) that Paris is incredibly beautiful, majestic, and truly a grand.  The buildings (especially the museums) are like none other in the world….. and this from a guy who grew up in New York.  Honestly, there is almost nothing on earth to rival some of the great museums in this city, and the Countess and I visited some of the best and most impressive, but you know the names, so I shall not bore you.

In my younger days, I thought that France would be a great place to visit if there were fewer French people there, but again, my views have changed.  Everyone was quite hospitable and charming, and we did not encounter a single act of rudeness.  (Except for that one guard in front of the Mona Lisa……  How did I know you weren’t supposed to trace over the painting?)  Anyway, the good news is this:  the French have changed!  They are more like the English.  (Who bear a vague resemblance to us.)

How could anyone find fault with a country that gave us French toast, French fries, and French kissing?  (By the way, I tried the kissing thing on the hotel elevator and got slapped for my trouble!  The maid did not appreciate my “tongue in cheek” attitude. (So much joie de vivre!)

Lady Spendthrift – who has now been renamed Le Countess de Currency – got off to a bit of a rocky start by referring to the most famous landmark in the city as “The Awful Tower.”  (I straightened things out by telling the locals that she posed for one of the gargoyles on the church of Notre Dame.)  I think the “Frenchies” believed me.  (They are so “Gaulible.”)

I intended to read a passage or deux of THE PRESLEY PLOT at the Louvre, but there were too many gendarmes guarding the place and they did not look like Elvis fans to me.  (Who the hell is Edith Piaf?)  I think she may have been a gourmet chef, because I once saw a dish called Rice Piaf on a menu.  In any case, I did not do a public reading, but I have spread the word about the book around the city.  I hope the good citizens of Paris will buy a few copies, and I think they will like the story.  After all these folks think Jerry Lewis is funny!  (Let’s just hope they don’t think my writing is crepe!)

For those of you who are keeping track of my whereabouts (friends, family, the I.R.S., burglars, etc.)  I happen to be aboard a luxury river barge called the River Royale.  We are presently docked at a charming village in the south of France.  (A place called Chalon sur Saone…… which loosely interpreted means “the town of many missing Euros.”)  Tomorrow we are off with our dear friends, Barbara and Max Talbott (who are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary today!) for a tour Chateau de Pommard in Burgundy.  If I don’t get locked in a wine cellar, I will give you an update on my international tour to promote (or destroy) Franco-American repartee!

Until then, mon ami, remember to pursue joie de vivre!

And now I must say Adieu!  (And Adieu have to go to dinner!)

Monsieur Stephan Yanoff, The Count of Mushy Crisco!

 

August 21, 2012

THE BRITISH ARE COMING! (WE SHOULD ONLY BE SO LUCKY!)

Good evening, my royal subjects…..

Well, as many of you know, Paul Revere (who I have always “revered”) was a colonial patriot who rode through the suburbs of Boston shouting that “the British are coming!”  Why he had to shout I do not know, but now that I have spent a few days in London, I must confess that I absolutely adore our British cousins and would gladly welcome them to invade our country once again.  (But we already pay enough taxes, thank you very much!)  Taxation aside (even with representation) the Brits are more than welcome to stay with me any time they come to the Lone Star State.  (For you folks in Arkansas, that would be Texas.)

After our lovely breakfast at the Egerton House, where we met two of the nicest people on Earth (Mr. Sohail Jaffer and his beautiful wife) we took a cab up to the British Museum, and all I can say is….. WOW!  The place was filled with old stuff, but still very impressive.  Truly one of the best museums in the world, and so big that it would even look oversized in Texas!  (Now that’s big.)  Being a semi-famous writer, my first stop was the William Shakespeare room.  The man was an obvious genius, even though he never wrote a word about Elvis Presley.  (THE PRESLEY PLOT would have made a terrific play, and I might send a copy to the folks at the Globe Theatre just to get their reaction.)

My favorite two stops (after Bill Shakespeare)  were seeing the Rosetta Stone, which next to Mick Jagger, is the most famous stone in Great Britain, and viewing the Elgin Marbles brought to the museum by Lord Elgin.  (Whose family also makes great jalapeno sausage.)  Lord Elgin, as you may remember, “borrowed” the stones from the Parthenon in Athens, but has yet to return them.  (Personally, I think the Greeks lost their marbles way before Lord Elgin, but who am I, an amateur archaeologist to say?)

In any case, the marble columns and statues are now brilliantly displayed in the museum for all to see, and they are quite impressive.  (Lady Spendthrift thought they showed a little too much “masculinity,” but I was kind of impressed with the dimensions of the ancient Greeks.)  Some of the statues may have been Roman, but as they say in Astoria, it was Greek to me.

When we returned to the Egerton House, which just might be the best hotel in our solar system, we were in for a real treat!  First, we met the charming and talented Antonio, a 40-year employee of the hotel, who is quite conceivably the best bartender in the Universe!  (I shall describe my wonderful martini at a later date!)  Then we dined at Mamounia Restaurant, which not only serves the BEST lamb tangine ever made by human hands, but also employs several of the MOST beautiful young ladies I have ever seen!  One was more beautiful than the next!  I had a hard time eating, but somehow I managed to overeat again!  (I am, after all, a professional gourmand)

I may be adopting a gorgeous young lady from Hungary!  And one from Poland!  And another from Ethiopia!  Nevermind, I’ll take them all!  (but they have to bring some lamb with them!)  What a marvelous restaurant!  If you go to London, you must stop by and try their amazing cuisine.  (Bring a camera so you can take some photos of the beautiful ladies!)

Finally, when we returned to the hotel, the amazing staff (under the direction of the world’s best General Manager, Ms. Michelle Devlin) had arranged for a special surprise for us!  The room was covered with rose petals!  There were candles everywhere!  Ice cold champagne!  Soft music!  Dim lights!  (Unfortunately, I was by myself, as Lady Spendthrift was shopping at Harrod’s again, but I still had a romantic experience!)  Just kidding, Mom.  What a lovely and thoughtful surprise!  Since I now have blog followers in 27 different countries, I would like to suggest that if you come to  London, you MUST stay at the Egerton House.  You will love it here, and will love everything about this hotel, especially the kindness and professionalism of the staff and management.  (And you could not ask for a better location!)

Well, it’ time to clear off the rose petals and hit the sack….. tomorrow we are off for Paris…. which I think is somewhere in France.  I can’t wait to show Lady Spendthrift how a guillotine works!  (I hope she doesn’t “lose her head” during my lecture.)

Bon jour mon ami!  I will write again soon….  (unless I decide to join the French Foreign Legion or the American Legion or the Elks Lodge.)

Ta-ta, old chaps……

Doc Yanoff   (a/k/a  Lord Sleepsalot)

 

 

 

 

August 21, 2012

LIVE FROM LONDON!

Good morning, ladies, lords, and assorted vagabonds……

Today I am “broadcasting” almost live (I’m still a little sleepy) from the lovely Egerton House Hotel in Knightsbridge.  (An up and coming area of London!)  Lady Spendthrift and I are having a jolly good time chatting with our British cousins, who have almost forgiven us for the Revolutionary War and the tiff of 1812.  (I was gracious and told them that the second conflict could have gone either way.)

Now for an update….  THE PRESLEY PLOT is selling quite well here in London.  Last night I gave a little speech in Chelsea, which is south of our hotel, maybe 2 miles as the crow flies.  (Better make that pigeons!)  I spent the evening in Chelsea.  (No jokes, please.)  Lovely area, reminds one (or two) of Greenwich Village, but without the garbage and with better beer.  Her Ladyship and I consumed a few pints of lager at a local pub and then dined on some truly wonderful Indian cuisine at a restaurant called Chutney Mary.  (Not to be confused with Bloody Mary.)  The food, as they say on Long Island, was to die for!  Best lamb of my life.  Mary had a lot of lamb, lot of lamb, lot of lamb…… well, you know how the nursery rhyme goes.

Several minutes ago, I gave another amazing performance here at the Egerton House, speaking to a packed room filled with hung-over tourists dying to hear about my literary adventures.  We met some wonderful people and made a lot of new friends, which is the point of this whole exercise.  What a lovely crowd.  And breakfast was once again marvelous!

In a moment we are going to hail a cab and wander up to the British Museum.  I hear the place is packed with old stuff, but we are going anyway.  I’m hoping they have some mummies for this daddy to view.  (I wonder if mummies listen to “wrap” music?) Her Ladyship is still mad at me for that bathroom joke…… last night she wanted a glass of water at the Indian restaurant, so I told her to go into the “Water Closet,” which wasn’t really a closet, but did contain some water.  (When Lords and Ladies use the bathroom is that considered a “Royal Flush?”)  Ah well, she’ll get over it when she has a pint or two.

Today at breakfast we met a charming couple from Tunisia, so in their honor, we will dining on Tunisian food this evening.  They pointed us in the right direction, so I’m sure we will be in for a treat.  Believe it or not, I think I’ll be chowing down on lamb again.  (We need to eat as many of them as we can, as they are truly vicious animals!)  Besides, they like to “pull the wool” over people’s eyes, so who needs them.

*****A SPECIAL NOTE:    I have met about 90 Londoners in regards to THE PRESLEY PLOT, and if you are reading this from London, please feel free to drop by or ring me up at the Egerton House.  I will make every effort to say hello or autograph a copy of my book for you.  And in any case, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!

And now we return to our regularly scheduled program……  I will write again soon, probably tomorrow when we arrive in Paris.  (We are taking the chunnel in the tunnel at noon.)  Whence we arrive in the City of Lights (not to be confused with Washington, D.C., the City of Dim Wits) we will be “hooking up” with our dear friends from Texas, Barbara and Max Talbott.  Paris will never be the same!

By the way, in yesterday’s post, I misspelled the word HOOKAH.  (I forgot to add the “h” at the end.)  I apologize to any of you who frequent hookahs….. especially Lee Bomblatus, who is a legend in the Azores and in certain parts of Round Rock, Texas.

Well, I must run or I shall miss the grand exhibition at the British Museum….. please take care and have a wonderful day.

Cheerio and Rice Crispies……

Doc Yanoff…..   The Galloping Gourmet!

August 20, 2012

ELVIS ON AVON!

So who cares about Stratford-on-Avon, the home of some British writing hack named Bill Shakespeare?  Come on, people, we are talking about Elvis Presley….. and the amazing influence he had on our English cousins!  Oddly enough, they are also celebrating (actually acknowledging) the anniversary of the King’s departure here in London town.  Whence Lady Spendthrift (my wife) and I checked into our royal quarters in Buckingham Palace (actually The Egerton House Hotel) we ambled on down to Hyde Park (so named because it is well hidden from tourists like me) and as soon as we got through the hedgerow (not to be confused with the Heathrow) we were put upon by a band of ruffians!  (actually three old ladies and one Elvis impersonator.)

As previously promised (to a local Elvis Presley Fan Club) I did some quick magic tricks to thunderous applause (all right, there might have been some booing and hissing) and then…… to everyone’s delight (except Lady Spendthrift) I read several pages from my brilliant mystery novel THE PRESLEY PLOT.  I received another  ovation (mainly sitting) as soon as I was finished reading!  Hey, wait a minute, I wonder if they were clapping because I was done……  nevermind.   At my age any applause is good.

For those of you who did not receive a personal email from me earlier this morning, I would like to say that London is quite charming and this hotel is truly exceptional.  The flight from New York to London was rather smooth and easy, and because I’m so tough, I only needed 12 hours of sleep to recover!  They don’t make men like me anymore.  (No applause here!)

Last evening, her Ladyship and I dined on the best Lebanese food I ever had.  Humus, pita, olives, green stuff.  It was marvelous!  This was an authentic place, and there were a number of folks from Arab countries in the restaurant.  Believe it or not, there was a hooka right beside me!  (Look it up, Helena!)  I won’t go on and on about the hooka, but let’s just say she was curvaceous and hot and filled the room with steam!

Her Ladyship almost caused an international incident by trying to peek under an Arab chick’s veil, but I prevailed upon her to mind her own business.  (Besides, some things are better left to the imagination!)  Before we left, as a joke, I sold my wife to a very plump Sheik who was poorly dressed but dripping in diamonds.  (You might say that he was an unchic sheik, if you like tongue twisters.)  Anyway, I got two camels for   my wife.  Personally, I think she’s worth more than two cigarettes, but who am I to argue with a sheik?  (When I balked, he threw in a goat.  Now I can tell folks that I made a bad deal, but I really got his goat!)

I would love to hang around and amuse you further, but I am on my way to the Victoria and Albert Museum.  These folks have a collection of great novels written by some of the English masters……  Lord Byron, Percy, Dickens, Lennon & McCartney, etc.  Whence I arrive, I intend to ask the curator if he or she might be interested in purchasing a copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT.  Why go to a museum if there is no Elvis memorabilia?  Hopefully they will have a keen eye for great writing and corny jokes.

Well, my friends, pip pip and cheerio!  I am off to conquer the rest of London!  (I wish my friend Norman was here.  Then we could reenact the Norman Conquest.)

Have a safe and happy day and I will write again soon……

Doc Yanoff  a/k/a Lord Sleepsalot!

August 16, 2012

REMEMBERING THE KING…..

Well, as many of you know, today, Thursday, August 16th, marks the 35th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death.  I find it difficult to believe that 35 years have gone by so quickly, but as they say, the calendar does not lie.  I am happy to report that the fans who traveled to Memphis to honor The King received a very special surprise.  (No, Elvis did not make a surprise appearance and file for Social Security!)  However…..   for the first time in history Priscilla Presley and Lisa Marie Presley appeared together at the annual gathering!

In case your wondering why my first mystery was THE PRESLEY PLOT (I have 4 more books in the works!) let me share some interesting details with you…..  the annual Memphis tribute to Elvis Presley draws hundreds of thousands of fans and runs for the entire week!  The tribute begins with a candlelight vigil at Graceland (which this year attracted 75,000 people!!)  If you have ever wanted to visit Graceland, this is the time to go.  Trust me, you will never forget the sight of so many people walking silently along, holding candles, weeping, and scraping wax from their fingers.  It is a sight to behold!  (As I said in Memphis, no other artist could ever hold a candle to Elvis!)

Oddly enough, when his “old flame” showed up the crowd was stunned…… I later discovered that her appearance was one of those last-minute decisions….but I’m sure everyone was thrilled to see the two ladies together for the first time.  The coolest moment came when Lisa Marie (Elvis Presley’s daughter) told the assembled mass:  “I’ve always avoided this because I felt it would be too emotional, but I really felt it was important to come down here tonight……  I love you very, very, very much.”

Lisa Marie was only 9 years old when her father died, and as she restated in Memphis, she actually thought that her famous father would be forgotten as the years marched on.  OMG, was she wrong!  Event organizers predicted no less than 500,000 visitors during the week of rememberance!  As I have mentioned before, Elvis is selling more records today than when he was alive!  (And believe me, that was a lot of records!)  Graceland, from what I’ve seen, has become something of a national monument, and I recently read that it is the second most visited home in the United States!  The first is the White House, but none of the occupants were ever as popular (or talented) as Elvis Presley.  Granted, a few had similar parties, but none could match the fun and games that occurred at Graceland.

If you want to catch a glimpse of the total madness (in a fun sense) of Elvis Week, I suggest you log onto:   http://www.elvis.com/elvisweekonline/

These folks are providing day to day coverage of the event, and you have to see it to believe it.  (Imagine a city filled with Elvis impersonators!)  They actually do a terrific job covering all of the hundreds of sub-events and special tributes that occur during the week, and if you enjoy the King’s music, this is the site for you.  Of course, an even better source of information would be a copy of the best-selling mystery novel THE PRESLEY PLOT.  I took the liberty of sending a signed copy of the book to both Priscilla and Lisa Marie, and I fully expect a “thank you call” from both of the ladies.  (Hey, a boy can dream!)   If I don’t hear from them, I will just assume that they have a lousy cell phone plan.  (I doubt they’re short on funds, but you never know.)

Well, there you have it friends……  a sweet, but sad day for millions of fans around the world.  If you’re my age (39 years old) or even close to it, take a moment to reflect on the music of this incredible man.  In truth, there will never be another like him.  Nobody will ever come close to the King.  (Although the Beatles are certainly up there.)  Of course, they were four distinct talents…. and Elvis was solo.

I wonder if he is lonesome tonight?  I hope not.  I doubt it.

Long live the King!

Doc Yanoff

August 15, 2012

“SPEEK THE SPEECH I PRAY YOU!”

So implored Hamlet, offering directions and advice to a group of actors at the court of Denmark.  You do remember Hamlet, don’t you?  His brother, Omelette was more famous, and much more pleasant.  (Most thought he was a good egg.)  Coincidentally, Omelette was a private detective in Copenhagen.  (Similar to Adam Gold!)  I think, but I’m not sure, that is where the term “hard boiled” detective comes from.  Maybe not.  In any case, Omelette liked to keep his “sunny side” up, and I feel the same way!  By now, you might be wondering why I’m discussing Hamlet and his brother….. because I am packing for my trip to jolly old England!

Even though I’m working hard I’ve gained a few pounds.  (I went to the bank for some British currency.)  I gained 400 pounds to be exact, but it cost me an arm and a leg.  (Not literally, mind you, just a figure of speech.)  I thought it wise to have some Brit money when I land at Heathrow Airport on Saturday.  I’m just hoping that I am able to fully communicate with our English cousins.  (They do speak funny.)  If I recall, Winston Churchill once said that England and America are two similar countries…. separated by a common language!

I’m not too concerned about encountering a language barrier, but I do have to watch my pronunciation on this trip because I have been invited to speak about my book and sign some copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT at several functions in London.  Two of the most prominent Elvis Presley Fan Clubs in England have invited me to tea and crumpets (What the heck is a crumpet, anyway?)  and I have tentatively accepted their invitations.  (I say “tentatively” because I want to know what a crumpet is before I accept!)  I’m guessing it’s like a trumpet, only a string instrument.  (No problem, I  had to pull a few strings to get the invite!)  Maybe I should look it up before I go.  The English have some very peculiar habits.  The last time I was in London, my hotel waiter asked me if I would like to bring a couple of tarts back to my room!  (I had brought my own ladyfingers, thank you.)

Nonetheless, I was quite flattered by the invitations, and if my schedule permits, I will certainly attend both events.  My first stop will be the British Museum, and then a short visit with some noble personages.  (We have been invited to lunch by the Duke of Wellington.)  Or was that the Duke of Earl?  One of the two.  I also intend to dine with an old friend of mine who is an insurance underwriter at Lloyds of London.  He is a charming chap, and the last time we dined together he introduced me to the best Indian food in the city.  I am a curry fanatic, and I adore Indian cuisine.  In fact, I always compliment the chef after I gouge myself.  (No, I don’t do it to curry favor!)  I do it because I love curry flavor.  And everything else on the menu!

I made reservations at two wonderful Indian restaurants….. and I hope I don’t have any trouble finding them.  I think I’ll be all right.  You know what they say in Mumbai.  (“Sikh and ye shall find!”)  How hard could it be to find the two top-rated Indian restaurants in London?  (Famous last words.)  I shall keep you informed of my Punjabi progress…. but keep your fingers crossed for me, just in case!

Well, my friends, pip pip and cheerio!  I must go find my passport and disposable underwear for the trip.  (You never want to mix the two up when you get to Customs!)

Take care, have a wonderful day, and I shall write again whence I get settled in London……

LONG THE KING!   (Elvis)

Doc Yanoff

August 13, 2012

ELVIS AT THE OLYMPICS!

If the King was alive today….. he would be very old!  (77 years old!)   Still, one must wonder which sporting event Elvis would have enjoyed the most.  (Please, no jokes about the “broad jump” or the “breaststroke!”)  As a former wrestling champion, I would like to think it would be wrestling, but your guess is as good as mine.  As some of you know, I actually petitioned the Olympic Committee, seeking the addition of the one athletic event in which I still excel (I’m afraid my wrestling days are over) but they declined to include the Potato Sack Race!  Yeah, I know what you’re thinking….  what’s up with that?!  In my view, they are clearly anti-spud, and if you think I’m just bitter….. when was the last time the Olympics were held in Idaho????

I rest my case.  By the way, I actually won a blue ribbon in the potato sack race back in elementary school.  (The crowning achievement of my time at Wheeler Avenue School in Valley Stream, New York!)  I still have the blue ribbon I won, and to be perfectly honest, I have been known to wear it on my lapel from time to time.  Not to brag, but it was a very tough race.  Very tough.  The judges forgot to tell me that I was supposed to put my legs in the sack!  Have you ever tried running a race with a sack over your head?  Thank God I had a good sense of direction during my misspent youth!

By now you are probably wondering why I am discussing the Olympics, eh?  Well, there is method in my madness…..  I am on my way to London!  That’s right, old chap, the missus and I are flying across the pond at the end of the week, anxious to spend one glorious week in jolly old London!  Hide the gin!  Hide the Indian food!  Hyde the park!

We will be staying at the lovely Egerton House Hotel in fashionable Knightsbridge!  (I hope they have indoor plumbing.)  The hotel looks wonderful on the internet and from my travel sources, I understand that it is quite posh.  You know the drill, silk sheets, full gourmet breakfast, afternoon tea, and lots and lots of tarts.  (No jokes about my wife!)  They have a bartender named Antonio who has been working there for over 40 years…… and makes the best martini in the world!  I cannot wait to make his acquaintance!  I am sure we will become fast friends.

After some days in London, we are off to Paris, France, which I hear awaits my arrival with baited breath!  (I will be signing copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT both in London and Paris, and engaging in several speaking forums……  which should prove quite interesting…… since I do not speak a word of French!)   Nevertheless I am looking forward to the trip and also to speaking to our European cousins.  I love Europe, even though the place is filled with foreigners!

When we have “done” Paris, we travel south to Lyon, and then board a luxury barge for a week-long trip down the Rhone!  The ship sails (glides) down the river very slowly and travels through the heart of Provence!  I am really looking forward to this part of the trip, as I have often dreamt about such a voyage.  The food is supposed to be five-star, and the excursions are simply marvelous!  (wine tasting, foi gras tasting, souffle tasting, etc.)  Do you think I’m dwelling on the food too much?  Yeah, me too!  Well, man does not live by bread alone…… I promise to drink my share of burgundy!

I will fill you in later about the rest of the trip……  my sweet grand-dog (Baker) is growling at me because he needs to go for a walk!  Duty calls!  I am going to the dogs!  Make that, going with the dog…..

Have a great day!

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

August 3, 2012

YAHOO! HOWDY, YAHOO GROUPS!

I’d like to begin this new post with a warm welcome to the ten new Yahoo Groups that have recently joined our “blog family,” and whose members are now following this fascinating blog of ours!  Welcome aboard, I think you will enjoy your stay, and I look forward to receiving some of your comments.

Just to let everyone know, there are roughly 360 Yahoo Groups dedicated to preserving the memory of Elvis Presley and his music!  These groups are quite interesting in and of themselves, and believe it or not, they represent a combined membership of over……  20,000 Elvis Presley fans!

Hopefully, half of them will purchase a copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT, which means that I will have to autograph about 10,000 books….. but I don’t mind!   Fame and fortune do not come cheap, and I do have two hands, so if I wear out the muscles in my right hand, I will simply use my left!   (I say buy the books and we will worry about the autographs later!)

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT………

From now on I will take a moment to mention one Yahoo Group that has joined our blog family …. thereby promoting them and encouraging my world-wide readers (THIS POST IS NOW BEING FOLLOWED IN 15 FOREIGN COUNTRIES!!)  to join their online Elvis Club.  My way of saying “thank you” and keeping the memory of the King alive and well……

First up, ELVISTAILDRAGGER@YAHOOGROUPS.COM

This group was formed back in May, 2003.  They currently have 167 members!!

The Yahoo name was taken from the name of the founder’s band, which happens to be The Taildraggers.  They welcome everyone who loves the music of the King, so if you fit that description, check them out!

Before I close, some ELVIS trivia…..  On this very day, way back in 1953, a young Elvis Presley returned to the Tennessee Employment Security Office (his third visit) hoping to obtain “a job where he could keep clean.”    Unfortunately, all of the mystery novelist positions were taken!  I’m not sure what became of the poor kid, but you might know!  (Coincidentally, the Austin television news just reported that the nation’s jobless rate just ticked up to 8.3 %)   Some things never change.

Well, keep your collective chins up and have a nice day.  Our day in Austin is sunny and hot, and there is not a cloud in the sky.  I believe we are going to have another 100 degree day on our hands, so…… drink plenty of tequila, I mean, water!

Speak with you soon……

Doc Yanoff

 

 

July 25, 2012

OVER THE TOP DOWN UNDER!

THE FIRST MAJOR BOOK REVIEW OF “THE PRESLEY PLOT” HAS NOW BEEN PUBLISHED THROUGHOUT AUSTRALIA AND MUCH OF THE FREE WORLD!  I AM MOST GRATEFUL FOR THE WONDERFUL PUBLICITY AND WISH TO THANK MR. NIGEL PATTERSON FOR HIS KIND WORDS!

HERE IS MR. PATTERSON’S REVIEW:

 

Book Review:

THE PRESLEY PLOT

by Stephen G. Yanoff

Aberdeen Bay, USA, 2012, Softcover: 214 pages/Kindle edition: 448KB, ISBN-10: 160830082X /…. ISBN-13:   978-1608300822 / ASIN: B008DZO3KC

Reviewed by Nigel Patterson, July 2012

Above: The cleverly metaphorical book cover for The Presley Plot

Publisher’s Description:

The mysterious death of a colleague leads Adam Gold, a claims investigator, to the discovery of a treasure trove of never-before-heard songs by the world’s most popular recording artist. The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll himself — Elvis Presley. Gold will soon learn that there are lots of people who are willing to die — or kill — to get their hands on the tapes. The list will include religious fanatics, crooked cops, the mafia, and even his own employers.

The Elvis fiction genre has produced some outstanding work and unearthed several formidable authors. Joining the upper echelon is Stephen G. Yanoff, whose debut novel, The Presley Plot, is a wonderful diversion from the humdrum of our often tedious lives.

The plot is neatly summarised in the publisher’s description above so I won’t dwell too much on it except to say that lives are at stake – there are only 72 hours to solve the case – and the sinister goings on beginning in Elvis’ birthplace, Tupelo, Mississippi, mean the reader is in for a rollicking, fast-paced ride in a race against time.

Yanoff has a strong writing style which quickly engages the reader:

She told them that the real danger was leakage. The fuel rods were sheathed in a coating of zirconium, and if the coating burned off, radioactive gases escaped, contaminating the water in the unit. If the water wasn’t contained, the plant could be flooded with thousands of gallons of radioactive fluid. Ideally, the containment walls would prevent such an incident.

…………………………

After a while, tempers began to flare. “Let there be light!” someone shouted. “Amen!” somebody added. Lo and behold the lights began to flicker, and the train lurched forward, slowly regaining momentum.

His erudite, witty exposition paints evocative images of the colorful characters and atmospheric locations of the Old South that inhabit both the core and nooks and crannies of his flowing narrative. Yanoff is adept at bringing to life both visual characteristics of his characters and their psychological dispositions:

Nasty little creep. He had a long black ponytail and a tomahawk tattoo on his left arm. He liked to play with knives.

…………………………

Annette Russo, was a tall, handsome woman, halfway between pretty and pretty darn average.

Similarly, the author’s attention to detail in his story telling is impressive and enlightening:

A Choctaw undertaker was called a bone picker, and just as the name implied, they had the grisly task of scraping putrefied flesh from the dead. To accomplish this, they grew their fingernails long, sharpening the tips into a fine point.

The treasure trove of newly discovered Elvis recordings underpins the plot narrative and in addition there are other doses of Elvis throughout the story. From time capsules such as the young King of Rock ‘n’ Roll at the Mississippi State Fair in 1956, to his music and characters who had met him:

As fate would have it, the Presley home in East Tupelo escaped with only minor damage. Gold wasn’t sure if this was meant to be Divine Intervention, but in any case, the King’s birthplace had survived intact and it was now the centerpiece of the town’s most popular attraction, the Elvis Presley Center.

Not surprisingly, Yanoff’s previous life as an insurance company executive allows him to infuse the story with an authentic feel. His central protagonist, Adam Gold, as the insurance claims investigator, is well drawn as are the many other fascinating characters that inhabit this Old South mystery.

The Presley Plot is baked from a neat recipe: an expressive narrative which resonates with murder, greed, crooked cops, the ‘baddest of the bad’ Russian and American mobsters and eccentric locals (and of course that guy named Elvis); a nicely constructed plotline which twists and turns at a brisk and effective pace; and the author’s keen wit. The finished product is a well packaged and wonderful mystery.

Note: If you have ever wondered how Shakespeare and Chinese proverbs intertwine, or how one’s aunt could have testicles, then The Presley Plot is definitely for you!

Verdict: The Presley Plot is Stephen Yanoff’s first novel and it is a great debut. Rich in colorful character and locale and an Elvis mystery that keeps you guessing – it is a real page turner and joy to read.

 

July 23, 2012

“THE PRESLEY PLOT” GOES GLOBAL!

Well, dear ones, I have some very exciting news for you today.  My new mystery novel, THE PRESLEY PLOT, has just gone “global,” so to speak, in the sense that the book will now be available world-wide thanks to the kindness (and some might say wisdom!) of the world’s largest book-store chain….  BARNES AND NOBLE!

That’s right, your eyes have not deceived you!  THE PRESLEY PLOT IS NOW AVAILABLE AT:       WWW.BARNESANDNOBLE.COM

I should know shortly when the book will be on the shelves, and hopefully at which locations the book can be purchased.  Until then, if you need a copy, you can order directly from Barnes and Noble.  (Of course, it will also be available on Amazon.com and on Kindle.)

Needless to say, I am thrilled by this new development.  It won’t be long until THE PRESLEY PLOT takes the number one spot from that book about older women and pornography.  (I think it’s called FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY HAIR.)   In any case, you will NOT find any lust, lechery, or sex in my books!  (I only write about the subjects I understand.)

Well, I hope you are as excited as I am.  I want to thank each and every one of you for supporting this effort.  I could not have done it without you!  A special thanks to all of the Elvis Presley Fan Clubs that have signed up to follow my blog.  It’s great to have you with us!  I want to send a special “shout out” to my buddy Nigel (who lives in a very lovely country “down under.”)  Best of luck, mate!

Take care… and I will write again soon!

Doc Yanoff