Country Music

February 23, 2014

“GETTING TO KNOW YOU”

DO YOU REMEMBER THIS DELIGHTFUL TUNE?  Some folks think it’s the NSA theme song, but it was actually written by Rogers & Hammerstein for their Broadway show “The King and I.”  (Which was a musical about Elvis Presley, I think.)  Hopefully, you will get to know me better after today’s blog.  I enjoy sharing my life with 7,000 blog followers, and I encourage you to share the big events of your life with me.  Our blog is now in 40+ countries, so it would be interesting to hear what’s going on in your part of the world.

I am presently “on the road again.”  As some of you know, I was born in Nashville, Tennessee, and I have some close relatives in and around “Music City, USA.”    I drove up to Nashville to attend the funeral of my Uncle Jim, who was one of my favorite uncles and a truly great man.  Believe it or not, my uncle, James Deatrick, joined the United States Air Force when he was 19 years old, served with distinction for 41 years, and left the service with the rank of Senior Master Sergeant.  (Just about the highest NCO rank in the military!)  Uncle Jim flew on the huge C-130 aircraft, and during his career he delivered supplies and weapons to just about every combat zone on earth.

I have always had the greatest admiration and respect for our military, and the folks who have worn the military uniform, but after witnessing a funeral with full military honors, I am simply in awe.  Almost speechless.  (A rarity for me!)  What an incredibly moving ceremony.  Truly remarkable.  The precision of the flag folding, the repeated volley of rifle fire, and the playing of “Taps.”  Witnessing this event made me proud to be an American and proud to be the nephew of one of our noble warriors… the folks who keep the rest of us safe and sound.

And speaking of sounds…..  After the funeral, we returned to my Aunt Gladys’s home in Mt. Juliet, where we were serenaded by an up and coming Grand Ole Opry star named Skylar Starr.  (Her stage name.)  As her temporary agent, I can tell you that this young lady is destined for greatness.  (Remember her name!)  After her performance, I had the honor and privilege of meeting Uncle Jim’s family from “up north.”  (Michigan, Wisconsin, etc.)  What a great bunch of people!  They had never seen the sun before, and one of Jim’s brothers had never seen the ground during his lifetime!  (Too much snow!)   Naturally we had a book signing…. and I autographed several thousand copies of THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH.  I fully expect to become a legend in Ann Arbor and certain counties on the Michigan peninsula.

Tomorrow I am driving down to Valdosta, Georgia, to sign some books at a local book club, eat a little pulled pork, and apologize for the Yankee intrusion known as “The War of Northern Aggression.”  (i.e., The Civil War.)    The following day I shall head due south, for the remote wilderness known as Boca Raton.  Whence I arrive, we will celebrate my mother’s 88th birthday with a semi-surprise party.  (She will be surprised when she gets the bill!)  I shall keep you informed of my whereabouts!  (we’re about out of time right now.)   Sooooo….  Have a safe and wonderful week…..

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff

 

January 26, 2014

AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE!

MODESTY IS VERY BECOMING…  (and it’s becoming quite rare)  I’m not that modest.  Every year, on my birthday, I send my mother a “congratulations card” for having me.  I just installed mirrors in my bedroom.  (no, not for that reason!)  To look at myself.  Does that “reflect” badly on me?  Well, today’s blog will not focus on me, but on my loyal blog followers!  (who I love)

Last weekend, we Austinites lost Steven Fromholz, one of the true legends of the outlaw country era.  Steve was a major talent, and he also served as the Poet Laureate of Texas.  I’m friends with his sweet daughter, Felicity, and my heart goes out to her and her family.  Your Dad was one of the great ones.

We also lost Mrs. Alice Bonefield, a gentle spirit, the mother of Paula Johnston.  “Miss Alice” was one of my favorite ladies and she will truly be missed by everyone who knew her.  She was, as they say, a class act.

I would like to extend my best wishes to Mrs. Donna Simon, who is recovering from a heart attack.  Donna and I are old friends, and she worked for Yanoff & Company for many years.  In fact, she was  the manager of our Chicago office.  We (the Yanoff clan) wish you a speedy recovery!  You did a great job for us and we all love you!  (Miss Hazel told me to send you a special kiss!)

Speaking of speedy recoveries…..  If you’re ever in need of emergency care, you should limp on over to the Texan Urgent Care facility in Riverplace.  Hopefully, you will be seen by Cindy Kelt, FNP-BC  (I have no idea what those letters mean, but Cindy is a brilliant and caring nurse practitioner!)  Tell her that I sent you and you will receive a free enema.  (Let me know how that comes out!)  We adore you, Cindy!

I’d like to give a big “shout out” to my friend Steven B. who is back in Iraq doing who-knows-what.  I hope you and your buddies are safe and sound, and we wish you a speedy return to the good old U.S.A.   Be careful if somebody offers you a camel.  (It might not be a cigarette!)

For you book lovers out there, please note that BookPeople has just restocked their shelves with 18 copies of my various mystery novels.  (The first group sold quickly.)  As you might guess, the books are to be found in the “mystery section” up front.  (Makes sense to me)

Finally, remember the secret of enjoying a good wine….. Open the bottle and allow it to breathe….. If it doesn’t seem to be breathing….. Give it mouth to mouth!  (The preceding humor courtesy of C.T. Nickles.)   C.T. is the head of my New Jersey humor division, and let’s face it, you have to have a sense of humor to live in New Jersey!

Have a safe and prosperous week!  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S.  My “big announcement” will be posted next week.  This blog is for my wonderful followers!

May 5, 2013

SINGIN’ THE BLUES…..

Sadly, we lost the great George Jones this week.  A big loss for those of us who love country music.  As some of you know, I was born in Nashville.  Back in the day, my aunts often took me to the Grand Ole Opry, and I remember meeting Mr. Jones backstage.  He was always very polite, and as I recall, always willing to give some squirt an autograph.  Did you know that his big song, “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” was recently voted “the greatest country song of all time?”  Interestingly, Jones did not like the song at first, and he almost refused to record the darn thing.  He thought it was too long, too sad, and too depressing!  (Much like my writing career!)

Personally, I thought it was a great song, but not as good as the one and only country song that I wrote.  (“I’ll Never Get Over You Until You Get Out From Under Him.”)  My little tune was recorded by The Inbred Brothers, and even though it didn’t get much airplay outside of Arkansas, it was nominated for a Granny.  (Similar to the Grammy Award, but given to a senior citizen.)  What a treat it was to see my name in Billboard.  (Actually, my name was ON a billboard, but that’s a long story, and I was falsely accused.)

NOW FOR SOME LITERARY NEWS…..    Aberdeen Bay Press has received permission from my publicist (Invisible Irving Flakowitz) to feature my photograph on their worldwide webpage!  Sooo…. if you are so inclined, or even horizontal, you can log onto their website and view photographs of me signing books in England and France!  In all seriousness, this is very cool, and I appreciate the publicity.

Speaking of publicity….. I would like to publicly thank Mr. Ken Evans, a distinguished gentleman and world-class poker player, for purchasing 10 copies of MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE last week!  (They do make wonderful gifts.)  I’ve noticed that a handful of Austin celebrities are also reading the book…..  i.e., Judge Susan Marquess, Rich Walker, Leigh Ann Woodward, Barbara Talbott, Donna Simon, Christine Nickles, Paula Johnston, and Lee Bomblatus.  (Some of these folks ain’t from Austin, per se, but who’s counting?)  They are here in spirit!  Thanks gang!

While we are on the subject of publicity…..  My friend, Diane Fanning, who just happens to be an incredibly talented writer, is celebrating the publication of her 20th book!  Quite an accomplishment.  Congratulations, Diane!  My other friend (I have two) Larry Brill, is off and running with his first book, and from what I hear, it is destined to become a huge success.  (It’s called “Live@Five”)

I would like to remind my faithful blog followers that Mother’s Day is just around the corner.  (Each year I send my own mom a card of congratulations for having me.)  I’m not sure how my mom feels about that.  (She likes to say “If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong!)  Still, I would remind you that we’re supposed to respect our elders, even though, as time marches on, it’s getting harder and harder to find one!

By the way, speaking of finding things, you might want to order a copy of MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE this week.  There are only a few copies left from the first printing, and the second printing, which will begin this week, will take some time to complete.  (Your mom will be very disappointed if she gets candy or flowers again!)  I sent my own mom two copies (I charged her full price, but I paid for half of the shipping) and I’m sure she was touched by my generosity.  Where there’s a will…. I want to be in it!

Well, folks, take care and have a safe and happy week.  The spring book tour begins this Saturday, so the next time that you hear from me I will be in Tupelo, MIssissippi!  (Where the heck did I put those blue suede shoes??)  Elvis loves you, baby!

Doc Yanoff

August 21, 2012

THE BRITISH ARE COMING! (WE SHOULD ONLY BE SO LUCKY!)

Good evening, my royal subjects…..

Well, as many of you know, Paul Revere (who I have always “revered”) was a colonial patriot who rode through the suburbs of Boston shouting that “the British are coming!”  Why he had to shout I do not know, but now that I have spent a few days in London, I must confess that I absolutely adore our British cousins and would gladly welcome them to invade our country once again.  (But we already pay enough taxes, thank you very much!)  Taxation aside (even with representation) the Brits are more than welcome to stay with me any time they come to the Lone Star State.  (For you folks in Arkansas, that would be Texas.)

After our lovely breakfast at the Egerton House, where we met two of the nicest people on Earth (Mr. Sohail Jaffer and his beautiful wife) we took a cab up to the British Museum, and all I can say is….. WOW!  The place was filled with old stuff, but still very impressive.  Truly one of the best museums in the world, and so big that it would even look oversized in Texas!  (Now that’s big.)  Being a semi-famous writer, my first stop was the William Shakespeare room.  The man was an obvious genius, even though he never wrote a word about Elvis Presley.  (THE PRESLEY PLOT would have made a terrific play, and I might send a copy to the folks at the Globe Theatre just to get their reaction.)

My favorite two stops (after Bill Shakespeare)  were seeing the Rosetta Stone, which next to Mick Jagger, is the most famous stone in Great Britain, and viewing the Elgin Marbles brought to the museum by Lord Elgin.  (Whose family also makes great jalapeno sausage.)  Lord Elgin, as you may remember, “borrowed” the stones from the Parthenon in Athens, but has yet to return them.  (Personally, I think the Greeks lost their marbles way before Lord Elgin, but who am I, an amateur archaeologist to say?)

In any case, the marble columns and statues are now brilliantly displayed in the museum for all to see, and they are quite impressive.  (Lady Spendthrift thought they showed a little too much “masculinity,” but I was kind of impressed with the dimensions of the ancient Greeks.)  Some of the statues may have been Roman, but as they say in Astoria, it was Greek to me.

When we returned to the Egerton House, which just might be the best hotel in our solar system, we were in for a real treat!  First, we met the charming and talented Antonio, a 40-year employee of the hotel, who is quite conceivably the best bartender in the Universe!  (I shall describe my wonderful martini at a later date!)  Then we dined at Mamounia Restaurant, which not only serves the BEST lamb tangine ever made by human hands, but also employs several of the MOST beautiful young ladies I have ever seen!  One was more beautiful than the next!  I had a hard time eating, but somehow I managed to overeat again!  (I am, after all, a professional gourmand)

I may be adopting a gorgeous young lady from Hungary!  And one from Poland!  And another from Ethiopia!  Nevermind, I’ll take them all!  (but they have to bring some lamb with them!)  What a marvelous restaurant!  If you go to London, you must stop by and try their amazing cuisine.  (Bring a camera so you can take some photos of the beautiful ladies!)

Finally, when we returned to the hotel, the amazing staff (under the direction of the world’s best General Manager, Ms. Michelle Devlin) had arranged for a special surprise for us!  The room was covered with rose petals!  There were candles everywhere!  Ice cold champagne!  Soft music!  Dim lights!  (Unfortunately, I was by myself, as Lady Spendthrift was shopping at Harrod’s again, but I still had a romantic experience!)  Just kidding, Mom.  What a lovely and thoughtful surprise!  Since I now have blog followers in 27 different countries, I would like to suggest that if you come to  London, you MUST stay at the Egerton House.  You will love it here, and will love everything about this hotel, especially the kindness and professionalism of the staff and management.  (And you could not ask for a better location!)

Well, it’ time to clear off the rose petals and hit the sack….. tomorrow we are off for Paris…. which I think is somewhere in France.  I can’t wait to show Lady Spendthrift how a guillotine works!  (I hope she doesn’t “lose her head” during my lecture.)

Bon jour mon ami!  I will write again soon….  (unless I decide to join the French Foreign Legion or the American Legion or the Elks Lodge.)

Ta-ta, old chaps……

Doc Yanoff   (a/k/a  Lord Sleepsalot)