“SPEEK THE SPEECH I PRAY YOU!”

So implored Hamlet, offering directions and advice to a group of actors at the court of Denmark.  You do remember Hamlet, don’t you?  His brother, Omelette was more famous, and much more pleasant.  (Most thought he was a good egg.)  Coincidentally, Omelette was a private detective in Copenhagen.  (Similar to Adam Gold!)  I think, but I’m not sure, that is where the term “hard boiled” detective comes from.  Maybe not.  In any case, Omelette liked to keep his “sunny side” up, and I feel the same way!  By now, you might be wondering why I’m discussing Hamlet and his brother….. because I am packing for my trip to jolly old England!

Even though I’m working hard I’ve gained a few pounds.  (I went to the bank for some British currency.)  I gained 400 pounds to be exact, but it cost me an arm and a leg.  (Not literally, mind you, just a figure of speech.)  I thought it wise to have some Brit money when I land at Heathrow Airport on Saturday.  I’m just hoping that I am able to fully communicate with our English cousins.  (They do speak funny.)  If I recall, Winston Churchill once said that England and America are two similar countries…. separated by a common language!

I’m not too concerned about encountering a language barrier, but I do have to watch my pronunciation on this trip because I have been invited to speak about my book and sign some copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT at several functions in London.  Two of the most prominent Elvis Presley Fan Clubs in England have invited me to tea and crumpets (What the heck is a crumpet, anyway?)  and I have tentatively accepted their invitations.  (I say “tentatively” because I want to know what a crumpet is before I accept!)  I’m guessing it’s like a trumpet, only a string instrument.  (No problem, I  had to pull a few strings to get the invite!)  Maybe I should look it up before I go.  The English have some very peculiar habits.  The last time I was in London, my hotel waiter asked me if I would like to bring a couple of tarts back to my room!  (I had brought my own ladyfingers, thank you.)

Nonetheless, I was quite flattered by the invitations, and if my schedule permits, I will certainly attend both events.  My first stop will be the British Museum, and then a short visit with some noble personages.  (We have been invited to lunch by the Duke of Wellington.)  Or was that the Duke of Earl?  One of the two.  I also intend to dine with an old friend of mine who is an insurance underwriter at Lloyds of London.  He is a charming chap, and the last time we dined together he introduced me to the best Indian food in the city.  I am a curry fanatic, and I adore Indian cuisine.  In fact, I always compliment the chef after I gouge myself.  (No, I don’t do it to curry favor!)  I do it because I love curry flavor.  And everything else on the menu!

I made reservations at two wonderful Indian restaurants….. and I hope I don’t have any trouble finding them.  I think I’ll be all right.  You know what they say in Mumbai.  (“Sikh and ye shall find!”)  How hard could it be to find the two top-rated Indian restaurants in London?  (Famous last words.)  I shall keep you informed of my Punjabi progress…. but keep your fingers crossed for me, just in case!

Well, my friends, pip pip and cheerio!  I must go find my passport and disposable underwear for the trip.  (You never want to mix the two up when you get to Customs!)

Take care, have a wonderful day, and I shall write again whence I get settled in London……

LONG THE KING!   (Elvis)

Doc Yanoff

ELVIS AT THE OLYMPICS!

If the King was alive today….. he would be very old!  (77 years old!)   Still, one must wonder which sporting event Elvis would have enjoyed the most.  (Please, no jokes about the “broad jump” or the “breaststroke!”)  As a former wrestling champion, I would like to think it would be wrestling, but your guess is as good as mine.  As some of you know, I actually petitioned the Olympic Committee, seeking the addition of the one athletic event in which I still excel (I’m afraid my wrestling days are over) but they declined to include the Potato Sack Race!  Yeah, I know what you’re thinking….  what’s up with that?!  In my view, they are clearly anti-spud, and if you think I’m just bitter….. when was the last time the Olympics were held in Idaho????

I rest my case.  By the way, I actually won a blue ribbon in the potato sack race back in elementary school.  (The crowning achievement of my time at Wheeler Avenue School in Valley Stream, New York!)  I still have the blue ribbon I won, and to be perfectly honest, I have been known to wear it on my lapel from time to time.  Not to brag, but it was a very tough race.  Very tough.  The judges forgot to tell me that I was supposed to put my legs in the sack!  Have you ever tried running a race with a sack over your head?  Thank God I had a good sense of direction during my misspent youth!

By now you are probably wondering why I am discussing the Olympics, eh?  Well, there is method in my madness…..  I am on my way to London!  That’s right, old chap, the missus and I are flying across the pond at the end of the week, anxious to spend one glorious week in jolly old London!  Hide the gin!  Hide the Indian food!  Hyde the park!

We will be staying at the lovely Egerton House Hotel in fashionable Knightsbridge!  (I hope they have indoor plumbing.)  The hotel looks wonderful on the internet and from my travel sources, I understand that it is quite posh.  You know the drill, silk sheets, full gourmet breakfast, afternoon tea, and lots and lots of tarts.  (No jokes about my wife!)  They have a bartender named Antonio who has been working there for over 40 years…… and makes the best martini in the world!  I cannot wait to make his acquaintance!  I am sure we will become fast friends.

After some days in London, we are off to Paris, France, which I hear awaits my arrival with baited breath!  (I will be signing copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT both in London and Paris, and engaging in several speaking forums……  which should prove quite interesting…… since I do not speak a word of French!)   Nevertheless I am looking forward to the trip and also to speaking to our European cousins.  I love Europe, even though the place is filled with foreigners!

When we have “done” Paris, we travel south to Lyon, and then board a luxury barge for a week-long trip down the Rhone!  The ship sails (glides) down the river very slowly and travels through the heart of Provence!  I am really looking forward to this part of the trip, as I have often dreamt about such a voyage.  The food is supposed to be five-star, and the excursions are simply marvelous!  (wine tasting, foi gras tasting, souffle tasting, etc.)  Do you think I’m dwelling on the food too much?  Yeah, me too!  Well, man does not live by bread alone…… I promise to drink my share of burgundy!

I will fill you in later about the rest of the trip……  my sweet grand-dog (Baker) is growling at me because he needs to go for a walk!  Duty calls!  I am going to the dogs!  Make that, going with the dog…..

Have a great day!

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

ELVIS SHAKES HIS PELVIS!

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen…..

Well, for you history buffs out there, please note that today is the day!  Which day, you ask?  Why Monday of course….  However I am not referring to the day of the week, but rather to the historic event that occurred on this very day back on July, 30, 1954.  So what happened, you ask?   A young, somewhat shy man from Tupelo,Mississippi, made his professional debut in Memphis, Tennessee.  What man, you ask?   (Hey, why are you asking so many questions?)

Music lovers….. it is my pleasure to present the future King of Rock ‘n’ Roll (so went the introduction)…….   the one and only……. ELVIS PRESLEY!

Our future king performed at Overton Park Shell in Memphis, and he sang two songs in front of Sam Phillips (the owner of Sun Records….. and the man who “discovered” Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Johnny Cash, and other amazing artists)  The King’s parents were also in attendance, which according to legend, made young Elvis very nervous and he began to do something that the audience thought was planned……  he began to shake his legs!  The crowd went wild!  So….. he began to shake his pelvis….. and before you knew it, he was “all shook up!”

Hence the title of one of his most popular songs!

During the break, the crowd rushed to the stage and demanded to buy copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT.   (That wonderful new mystery by Stephen G. Yanoff…. now available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Kindle.)  When Colonel Parker ran out of copies, the crowd began to panic and there was a near riot, which had to be squelched by a huge contingent of Mississippi State Troopers!  37 people were injured in the melee, and two were imprisoned for inciting a “literary disturbance!”

ALL RIGHT, I MADE UP THIS LAST PARAGRAPH….. BUT I HAD TO FIND A WAY TO MENTION MY BOOK!

Well, now you know the rest of the story…..  I hope you all have a lovely day!

As we say in Tupelo…..   “Long live the King!”

Doc Yanoff

 

 

OVER THE TOP DOWN UNDER!

THE FIRST MAJOR BOOK REVIEW OF “THE PRESLEY PLOT” HAS NOW BEEN PUBLISHED THROUGHOUT AUSTRALIA AND MUCH OF THE FREE WORLD!  I AM MOST GRATEFUL FOR THE WONDERFUL PUBLICITY AND WISH TO THANK MR. NIGEL PATTERSON FOR HIS KIND WORDS!

HERE IS MR. PATTERSON’S REVIEW:

 

Book Review:

THE PRESLEY PLOT

by Stephen G. Yanoff

Aberdeen Bay, USA, 2012, Softcover: 214 pages/Kindle edition: 448KB, ISBN-10: 160830082X /…. ISBN-13:   978-1608300822 / ASIN: B008DZO3KC

Reviewed by Nigel Patterson, July 2012

Above: The cleverly metaphorical book cover for The Presley Plot

Publisher’s Description:

The mysterious death of a colleague leads Adam Gold, a claims investigator, to the discovery of a treasure trove of never-before-heard songs by the world’s most popular recording artist. The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll himself — Elvis Presley. Gold will soon learn that there are lots of people who are willing to die — or kill — to get their hands on the tapes. The list will include religious fanatics, crooked cops, the mafia, and even his own employers.

The Elvis fiction genre has produced some outstanding work and unearthed several formidable authors. Joining the upper echelon is Stephen G. Yanoff, whose debut novel, The Presley Plot, is a wonderful diversion from the humdrum of our often tedious lives.

The plot is neatly summarised in the publisher’s description above so I won’t dwell too much on it except to say that lives are at stake – there are only 72 hours to solve the case – and the sinister goings on beginning in Elvis’ birthplace, Tupelo, Mississippi, mean the reader is in for a rollicking, fast-paced ride in a race against time.

Yanoff has a strong writing style which quickly engages the reader:

She told them that the real danger was leakage. The fuel rods were sheathed in a coating of zirconium, and if the coating burned off, radioactive gases escaped, contaminating the water in the unit. If the water wasn’t contained, the plant could be flooded with thousands of gallons of radioactive fluid. Ideally, the containment walls would prevent such an incident.

…………………………

After a while, tempers began to flare. “Let there be light!” someone shouted. “Amen!” somebody added. Lo and behold the lights began to flicker, and the train lurched forward, slowly regaining momentum.

His erudite, witty exposition paints evocative images of the colorful characters and atmospheric locations of the Old South that inhabit both the core and nooks and crannies of his flowing narrative. Yanoff is adept at bringing to life both visual characteristics of his characters and their psychological dispositions:

Nasty little creep. He had a long black ponytail and a tomahawk tattoo on his left arm. He liked to play with knives.

…………………………

Annette Russo, was a tall, handsome woman, halfway between pretty and pretty darn average.

Similarly, the author’s attention to detail in his story telling is impressive and enlightening:

A Choctaw undertaker was called a bone picker, and just as the name implied, they had the grisly task of scraping putrefied flesh from the dead. To accomplish this, they grew their fingernails long, sharpening the tips into a fine point.

The treasure trove of newly discovered Elvis recordings underpins the plot narrative and in addition there are other doses of Elvis throughout the story. From time capsules such as the young King of Rock ‘n’ Roll at the Mississippi State Fair in 1956, to his music and characters who had met him:

As fate would have it, the Presley home in East Tupelo escaped with only minor damage. Gold wasn’t sure if this was meant to be Divine Intervention, but in any case, the King’s birthplace had survived intact and it was now the centerpiece of the town’s most popular attraction, the Elvis Presley Center.

Not surprisingly, Yanoff’s previous life as an insurance company executive allows him to infuse the story with an authentic feel. His central protagonist, Adam Gold, as the insurance claims investigator, is well drawn as are the many other fascinating characters that inhabit this Old South mystery.

The Presley Plot is baked from a neat recipe: an expressive narrative which resonates with murder, greed, crooked cops, the ‘baddest of the bad’ Russian and American mobsters and eccentric locals (and of course that guy named Elvis); a nicely constructed plotline which twists and turns at a brisk and effective pace; and the author’s keen wit. The finished product is a well packaged and wonderful mystery.

Note: If you have ever wondered how Shakespeare and Chinese proverbs intertwine, or how one’s aunt could have testicles, then The Presley Plot is definitely for you!

Verdict: The Presley Plot is Stephen Yanoff’s first novel and it is a great debut. Rich in colorful character and locale and an Elvis mystery that keeps you guessing – it is a real page turner and joy to read.

 

“THE PRESLEY PLOT” GOES GLOBAL!

Well, dear ones, I have some very exciting news for you today.  My new mystery novel, THE PRESLEY PLOT, has just gone “global,” so to speak, in the sense that the book will now be available world-wide thanks to the kindness (and some might say wisdom!) of the world’s largest book-store chain….  BARNES AND NOBLE!

That’s right, your eyes have not deceived you!  THE PRESLEY PLOT IS NOW AVAILABLE AT:       WWW.BARNESANDNOBLE.COM

I should know shortly when the book will be on the shelves, and hopefully at which locations the book can be purchased.  Until then, if you need a copy, you can order directly from Barnes and Noble.  (Of course, it will also be available on Amazon.com and on Kindle.)

Needless to say, I am thrilled by this new development.  It won’t be long until THE PRESLEY PLOT takes the number one spot from that book about older women and pornography.  (I think it’s called FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY HAIR.)   In any case, you will NOT find any lust, lechery, or sex in my books!  (I only write about the subjects I understand.)

Well, I hope you are as excited as I am.  I want to thank each and every one of you for supporting this effort.  I could not have done it without you!  A special thanks to all of the Elvis Presley Fan Clubs that have signed up to follow my blog.  It’s great to have you with us!  I want to send a special “shout out” to my buddy Nigel (who lives in a very lovely country “down under.”)  Best of luck, mate!

Take care… and I will write again soon!

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I TOLD YOU ELVIS WASN’T DEAD!

Well, hold onto your cape and jumpsuit, friends…..

The company behind the Tupac (the rap music gent) hologram recently announced

that they intend to go for the gold, or perhaps I should say the sequins, and bring

the King back to life!  (Sort of.)

Digital Domain Media Group plans to produce a “virtual” likeness of Elvis Presley.

The likeness will be used in stage shows, television, and film appearances!  (Can a

White House invitation be far off?)

No word yet on whether the King will appear in the movie version of my book,

THE PRESLEY PLOT.  I sent a virtual “feeler” to his agent, but he turned out to be

a hologram himself, and thus far, I have heard nothing from the good folks at

Graceland.  (I hope they’re real people!)  One never knows.

In any case, if you haven’t seen a hologram, you will be amazed by the effect of

having someone “reappear” before your very eyes.  It is quite spooky in a way, but

also incredibly entertaining.  If you’re an Elvis fan, I would be curious to know what

you think about this project.  I have mixed feelings, but what do you think?

For those of you that can’t wait for the hologram, I would remind you that you can

now purchase THE PRESLEY PLOT on Amazon. com   (Just go the Amazon site and

type in the title of the book or my name.)  If you like what you read, PLEASE take a

moment and write a short review.

Thanks and God bless…

Doc Yanoff