THE PRESLEY PLOT MAKES HISTORY!!

THIS BETTER BE GOOD SINCE I USED TWO EXCLAMATION POINTS!!   Well, actually, it is very, very good.  For the first time since the Bronze Age (or maybe it was the Iron Age) Aberdeen Bay Press, the world’s foremost publisher of brilliant mystery novels, has decided to publish a SECOND EDITION of a book within a six month period!!  (There are those two exclamation points again.)  Would you like to guess the name of this best-selling book?  That’s right…..  THE PRESLEY PLOT!

Due to popular demand (and the fact that Amazon.com only has 3 copies left!) the publisher is re-issuing my book.   And here’s the best part….  they have gone through the book with a fine tooth comb and corrected every spelling and typographical error that was in the first edition!  Soooooo…..  if you need a wonderful, enchanting, entertaining novel for the holiday gift giving season (and you can’t find FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY) zip on over to Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com and order you brand new, fully revised copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT.  (Your brain will thank you!)  Incidentally…..   the new edition already has a pre-order of over 200 books!!  So remember, he who hesitates, is lost!

If you are one of the lovely young ladies who is awaiting a book (Ms. Baum and Mrs. Isler) be patient!  I will send one along as soon as they become available!

NOW FOR SOME OTHER ELVIS NEWS…….

Did you know that there is a “Little Graceland” in Texas?  True enough.  In the Rio Grande Valley town of Los Fresnos, Simon Vega curates a treasure trove of Elvis memorabilia at his LITTLE GRACELAND MUSEUM.  (Mr. Vega actually served in the Army with Elvis!)  The museum has pictures of Elvis, Elvis albums, Elvis 45’s (not the pistols) Elvis statues, Elvis mugs, and Elvis enchiladas.  (Just joshing about the food.)   In any case, the museum is open Thursday thru Sunday.  10 a.m. to 5 p.m. by appointment.  The next “Elvis Festivale” is set for January, 12, 2013, so if you’re in the area, swing by and join the fun.  I have spent some time down in the Valley and can honestly say that it is a warm and charming location…. and the residents are simply wonderful.

NOW FOR SOME FINAL, EXCITING NEWS…….

Keep your eyes and ears focused on The New York Times, Fox News, Variety, and Popular Mechanics, for some very exciting news concerning the SECOND ADAM GOLD MYSTERY NOVEL!   That’s right, my friends, book number two will be available in the not-too-distant future!  The book is titled, MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE.  This time around, Adam Gold will become entangled in a hunt for Captain Kidd’s treasure!  The book has already received some glowing reviews, and if you believe the literary pundits, it is destined to become another best selling mystery novel.  I shall, as they say, keep you apprised of the situation!

Until then, I remain, your humble correspondent.  (Which is better than being a bumbling despondent.)   Love to all …..

Doc Yanoff

KINGS AND QUEENS AND JOKERS ARE….. KEEN!

WELL, BY NOW YOU’VE HEARD THE BIG NEWS FROM BENGHAZI…..   NO, not that news, the results of the LIBYAN NATIONAL POKER TOURNAMENT!

Actually, according to the Wold Series of Poker International Committee (The same folks who nominated me for the Nobel Prize in Literature) the tournament should be called the “Waterloo & Beef Wellington Poker Championship.”   As many of you know, I am not only the author of THE PRESLEY PLOT, America’s best new mystery novel, but also the owner, lone faculty member, and janitor of the Austin-based C.P.A.   (Cobra Poker Academy)  Well….. I am very proud to announce that one of my graduate students, Dr. Max Talbott, recently won the aforementioned tournament with flying colors!!  (Red, white, and blue.)  As you’ve probably read, Max was voted “Most Likely To Secede” by his classmates.  (A doctoral student named Barbara placed second, and has asked for a recount, but I think she’s whistling “Dixie,” if you get my reference!)   In any case, congratulations, Max.  You look lovely in your new tiara.  (A “crowning” achievement by any standard!)

Incidentally, while I’m in a congratulatory mood, I would like to acknowledge Ms. Rhonda Sebastian, a dear friend and colleague, who won the annual “Steiner Ranch Beer & Barbecue Championship” last Thursday.  Rhonda won a pickup full of cash and impressed everyone (including the Cobra) will her brilliant play.  Believe it or not, she actually managed to beat me a couple of times, but I think she was cheating.  (She had better cards.)  Well done, Ms. Rhonda!

By the way, for those of you who wish to improve your lives, win lots of money, and make some new friends at the I.R.S., you should follow Rhonda’s example and become a BLOG FOLLOWER!  Ms. R was an early follower and has remained loyal through all of my trials (many of which ended in a hung jury) and tribulations (losing the Nobel Prize to a South American Goat Rancher)  Thank you, Rhonda!

Interestingly, my card playing has lead to some wonderful marketing opportunities for THE PRESLEY PLOT.  For instance, last week I was one of the gift sponsors at the huge Steiner Ranch tournament which attracted attractive players from all five corners (make that, four corners) of Travis County and from several other counties in the Republic of Texas.  As a gesture of my appreciation for Rich & Sharon Walker and the great Kevin Evans, I brought six autographed copies of my book to the tournament.  Coincidentally, six lucky players won copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT, and now their lives are more or less complete.  One player was willing to trade his cash winnings (approximately $4,479.62 for a copy of my book, but alas, none were available.  Tough luck, Eric Ohlson.)  Frankly, if I had won the damn tournament it would have been a perfect evening!

And speaking of perfect evenings……  Tarzan and Jane (Adam and Rachel) will be returning from South Africa tomorrow night!  They enjoyed their safari immensely, but said that some of the big cats do not play poker fairly.  (One of them was a cheetah!)  By sheer coincidence, the lady who ran the lodge was a cougar!  (Her contract contained a special “claws.”)  All right, enough bad animal jokes.  The natives are getting restless.  I will simply conclude by telling you that my daughter sent me a cute photograph of a Ubangi mother urging her child to finish his dinner.  The caption reads:  “If you don’t finish your missionary, you don’t get dessert!”   So precious.  (I was going to use the word “tender” but I didn’t want to gross anyone out.)

Well, my friends, I shall say goodbye for now (before I cause another international incident) and wish you well in all of your pursuits.  Enjoy our lovely fall.  I shall write again soon…….

The imminent author and world traveler…….

Doc Yanoff

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!

WHILE ELVIS WAS THE UNDISPUTED KING OF LAS VEGAS…….   There is another person who certainly deserves to be mentioned with reverence…..The great poker player named Steve Gee, who just finished 9th (out of a zillion other players) at the World Series of Poker!  If you have been following this blog (and let’s face it, who hasn’t?) you know that Steve is the talented brother of my beautiful and brilliant friend, Diane Gee.  Steve made a fantastic run for the gold and played against some of the best poker players in the world (luck for him, I was busy that week) and we are all proud of his accomplishment.  And don’t feel sorry for the lad!  Steve walked away with……  $754,798 for his efforts!!   Not bad for one week’s work, eh?   In case you’re wondering, that’s the same amount of my book royalties for THE PRESLEY PLOT.  (Hey, a guy can dream!)

If you want to see Steve’s “farewell” interview at the tournament, just Google:   “Steve Gee, World Series of Poker.”   There is a “live” interview posted on this website.  The interviewer forgot to ask him about his favorite author (would you like to guess who that might be??) but it is still worth watching.

NOW ON TO ELVIS…….   My beautiful and brilliant cousin, Susan Wilson, the woman who single-handedly runs JRS Investments in Nashville, sent me a most interesting article about the  King.  For those of you in Tennessee (Five Tennessee Fan Clubs are on my blog) please note that the Tennessee State Museum is offering an exhibit (starting on November 8th.) called…….  “ELVIS AT 21:  Photographs by Alfred Wertheimer.”    The exhibit will include 56 images of the King, most of them captured before Col. Parker took over and limited the number of photos that could be taken.  I have seen a few of these photographs, and I can honesty say that they are quite fascinating.  If you’re interested, the exhibit will be at the museum until January 8th.

By the way, the most interesting photograph in the exhibit shows ELVIS in New York City (my “home town”) on the very day that the old boy made history by recording not one, but two songs that would become number one hits in a very short time…….  Would you like this to be our trivia question of the week?   Very well, please fill in the blanks listed below this paragraph and mail them to:     ATTN:   JILL KELLEY

56 FLOOZY BLVD., TAMPA, FLORIDA

 

You will be notified by the Pentagon if you win the trivia contest.  Please note that if you do enter the contest you will immediately be subject to being drafted.  If you are chosen for military service in a country with many goats, please do not despair.  The contest sponsors are offering free air fare to and from Islamabad.

Well, on that semi-humorous note, I shall bid you adieu.  I would like to remind you that last Sunday was Veterans Day, so if you know someone who served in the military, please thank them for their service to our country.  God knows we all owe them a huge round of applause for a job well done.  (Way to go, Cousin Max!)

Have a wonderful day and do not ask why “sour cream” has an expiration date!  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

SPEAKING OF TEXAS…..

“I SORTA GOT MY START IN TEXAS,”  A reflective Elvis Presley told reporters at Dallas’ Love Field in August 1958.  The King was on his way to Fort Hood at the time (to complete his basic training) and he told the reporters that just a few years earlier, a largely unknown ELVIS had thrilled audiences throughout the Lone Star State.  In fact, one of Presley’s first shows was held in the East Texas town of Gladewater.  (A charming hamlet that I visited several years ago, while I was doing some research for THE PRESLEY PLOT)  Just for the record, I discovered that Elvis played more than a hundred shows in Texas from 1954 to 1956, arguably the most important years of his long career.

Since I am now a world renowned author of sorts (I said “sort of”) I would highly recommend that my brilliant blog followers check out a couple of books on the subject to satisfy their own curiosity about the King’s early years.  Mr. Stanley Oberst (of Waco) has written two little gems titled ELVIS IN TEXAS and ELVIS PRESLEY: ROCKIN’ ACROSS TEXAS.  These delightful books are most interesting and informative, and when combined with a revised edition of THE PRESLEY PLOT, make up the world’s greatest trilogy of Elvis Presley books.  (According to the author of the last book mentioned.)

Incidentally, since I often mention and thank the many Elvis Presley Fan Clubs that have supported my book and blog, I would like to present you with some interesting trivia……  Did you folks know that the very first Elvis Presley Fan Club, founded by 17-year-old Dallasite Kay Wheeler, was formed in February, 1956??  Did you know that nine months later the club had over 5,000 members??  Did you know that she actually reviewed on the King’s Cotton Bowl performances??  Did you know that it’s not necessary to use two question marks at the end of a sentence??

Well, there you have it friends.  Enough Elvis info to fill a trunk….. and speaking of trunks…..  My darling Rachel (Eldest Daughter) is now on Safari in deepest, darkest Africa, surrounded by herds of elephants.  (You’ve heard of Elephants, right?)  I hope she packed her own trunk and brought a rifle.  Her new hubby, Adam Zell, made friends with a Zulu war chief (who just happened to be a Pittsburgh Steelers fan) and the two of them went looking for Tarzan and Jane one night.  (No telling what those crazy kids were up to.)  Anyway, Adam sent me a most unusual telegram, which I would like to share with my readers:

WESTERN UNION.  NOV. 9, 2012.

ARRIVED IN CAPE TOWN.  STOP.  NICE TOWN.  STOP.  VERY FEW CAPES.  STOP.  HAD TO USE MEN’S ROOM.  STOP.  NO PUBLIC TOILETS.  STOP.  HAD TO TAKE A PITH.  STOP.  USED PITH HELMET.  STOP.  LAST NIGHT WAS CRAZY.  STOP.  SHOT A LION IN MY PAJAMAS.  STOP.  HOW HE GOT IN MY PAJAMAS IS A MYSTERY.  STOP.  MUST LEAVE YOU NOW.  STOP.  HAVING AUTHENTIC AFRICAN LUNCH.  STOP.  BOILED MISSIONARY.  STOP.  I COULD MAKE MORE JOKES, BUT I’M SURE THAT YOU WANT ME TO ……STOP!!!

Ah, to be young and in love!  Sounds like the lovebirds are having fun.  Glad I took my credit cards back.

Thanks for tuning in this morning!  I hope you all have a joyous Sunday and a productive work week.  I will write again soon…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

IT’S NOW OR NEVER!

GOTCHA!   You thought I was referring to our presidential election, right?  Well, I’m not.  Kindly remember that this is, after all, first and foremost a site dedicated to enriching me as an author, I mean, enlightening the world about Elvis Presley.  (One of the two!)

In any case, I was referring to the song “It’s Now or Never,” which reached the number one spot in the U.K. on this very day in 1960.  I thought it was rather appropriate, considering our upcoming election.  Please….. regardless of who you vote for….vote!  A strong democracy depends on an informed and engaged electorate…. and please remember to spell my last name correctly…. there are two “f’s” in my last name.  (and several more on my report cards!)

I mention the above only because I assume that most of you will be voting for me again.  If not, I want my five dollars back.  (and you will have no chance of being mentioned in the next “Acknowledgement Section.”)  By the way, the next mystery novel, MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE, was just reviewed (albeit informally) by one of our local best-selling authors….. and the verdict was quite pleasant.  Our semi-famous reviewer actually liked it better than THE PRESLEY PLOT!   (Same as the Nobel Prize crowd!)

In all (or most) seriousness, this bodes well and I will be quite anxious to see what the publisher thinks.  I should know something by the end of the month.  (I know a few things now, but they have nothing to do with publishing.)

For those of you who are following the honeymoon adventures of my eldest daughter Rachel, I am happy to report that she and Adam have landed safely in London and are happily ensconced at the lovely Egerton House Hotel in Kensington.  The amazing hotel staff greeted them en masse and were sweet enough to provide some complimentary champagne for the love-birds!  After a brief nap, the kids intend to hit the ground running, which should be quite interesting with Rachel in charge.  (Miss Rachel actually lived in London one or two summers, and she knows the city quite well.)  Do not be surprised if Adam winds up in the Tower of London!!

For you ELVIS PRESLEY FAN CLUB MEMBERS……  I will be speaking and signing books at a fan club meeting in Waco, Texas, on Wednesday.  You can get the details by checking your fan club mail box.  (A notice was sent to all clubs yesterday.)  The heading reads, “The Presley Plot Thickens!”   All are welcome and there will be plenty of books to purchase.  Hope to see you there!

Well, now that Rachel is in England, I am dog-sitting Baker….. and he has just signaled me that it is time to head for the dog park!  (Don’t ask how)  So….. I need to go and find his leash.  (I really wish he would stop hiding the darn thing!)  I enjoy having a granddog, but he always needs to go when I’m writing.  (Hey, do you think he’s trying to tell me something?)  Bad dog!  It’s only a “ruff draft!”   (I had to get in one doggie joke.)

Take care and enjoy our lovely weather…….   Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

THE ROYAL WEDDING!

NO, I AM NOT REFERRING TO PRINCE WILLIAM AND CATHERINE MIDDLETON!

Although, they did have a nice affair.  I am referring to my own princess….. MISS RACHEL S. YANOFF!    Who has recently been wed and is now going by the name of Rachel Zell.  As I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, my eldest daughter got married last Sunday!  Her hubby’s last name is Zell, which means that she is now FURTHER back in the alphabet!  (I don’t think she can get any further, thank God.)   The Grand Affair was held on a picture perfect day in Austin.  Sunny and mid-seventies.  Not a cloud in the sky.  The entire event was held at a private mansion on the shores of Lake Austin, which, thankfully, was completely filled with water and even had some lovely white swans swimming behind the marriage platform!

We were all thrilled that most of our guests from the east and Florida were able to attend.  (Hurricane Sandy made things a little dicey for some.)  Nonetheless, Rachel and Adam had a beautiful ceremony and then partied late into the night under a magnificent tent specially erected for their wedding.  The food, music, and most of all the company, were nothing short of marvelous.  The attendees drank tons of wine (always a good thing) and danced continuously.

One of the many highlights (aside from my minor accident with the gold cart) was the round of toasts that folks gave on behalf of the bride and groom.  My toast was typically brilliant, but the best toast was given by Rachel’s gorgeous sister, Rebecca.  OMG, did she hit a home run!  She was cool, calm, and articulate……. and funny as hell.  Miss Rebecca had everyone (including her father!) in stitches revealing some of Rachel’s “deep, dark secrets” of childhood.  The lady is a natural born speaker.  The Best Man also gave a fantastic speech.  As a former collegiate speech teacher, I gave them both a grade of A.   (Now they have to study for the mid-term!)

In case you’re wondering, I did manage to sneak in a mention of THE PRESLEY PLOT!   I told the assembled guests that I felt funny giving a long speech, so with their permission, I would just read my ENTIRE novel!   (I then offered to curtail my reading to the first 10 chapters.)   Surprisingly, there were no takers.   Ah well, a “profit” is never appreciated in his own land.

This coming Saturday, Rachel and Adam are off on their honeymoon.   Those crazy kids are flying to London to stay at my favorite hotel in Europe (The Egerton House in Kensington) and then after 3 or 4 days in jolly old England, they are flying to Cape Town, South Africa!  The city is incredibly lovely, and while they are there, they plan to go on a mid-week jungle safari!  (After being around my family the last few days you would think they had their fill of wild animals!)   But noooooo…… they want to see some Lions and Elephants and Zebras and other creatures of the brush.  (I hope they meet Tarzan.)   I knew Adam liked “games,” but in a jungle??)   To each their own.

Now that the wedding bills are rolling in, I would urge you to buy hundreds of copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT to help defray the costs of this lovely event.  (Nice try, Steve.)   All right, never mind the books, how about remembering me in your prayers?  Do they still send debtors to Australia?  Hey, that would be a great way to get a free trip down under.  Just file for personal bankruptcy and then start packing!  God, I’m so smart…  why didn’t I think of that earlier?

Well, G’Day, mates, I’m off to file Chapter 11 and pack my scuba gear for the Great Barrier Reef.  I will write whence I land in Sydney, or with Sydney if he wants to come along.  Until then, I remain your faithful outback guide and Aboriginal Author……

Love to all,

Crocodile Yandee      (a/k/a Doc Yanoff)

NEVER A DULL MOMENT!

WHERE DO I BEGIN?   Well, let’s start with the exciting news that my dear friend Diane Gee has recently shared with me…..  (Diane is one of the charming ladies that run the office of Dr. Michael Williamson, another friend, and the world’s BEST periodontist!)  I have know Diane for over 10 years, but only recently did her wonderful brother Steve (probably named after me) start playing professional poker.  Steve now spends a great deal of time in Las Vegas, and will soon (October 28th) be spending even more time there because……  Steve Gee just made it to the final table of THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER!!

I am very excited about all of this, especially because I have formally suggested Steve’s new “professional nickname.”  Are you ready for this?  All right, Steve will now be known as “THE G-MAN.”  I love the connection to his last name, and the fact that he is connected to the Feds.  (Although I think an I.R.S. connection would have been better, because if Steve wins the whole enchilada, he will receive $8,500,ooo!!!!!)

Good luck, buddy!  We here in Austin will be rooting for you!  (And don’t forget to hold up a copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT whenever the camera swings to you!)  The Elvis t-shirts are on the way.

MORE EXCITING NEWS……   Last night’s Literary Salon Event was a huge success!  The audience was alive and kicking, and we had a marvelous time discussing mystery novels, publishing, and the lack of parking spaces at the Wildflower Terrace.  (Which is a very lovely venue, I might add.)  Our wonderful hostess, Terri Schexnayder, held a pre-seminar party in her brand new apartment, and some of the guests (i.e., Ms. Beverly Horne) wore Halloween costumes.  The wine and food were greatly appreciated, and so was the post-seminar book signing.  The lovely and talented Helen Ginger was my co-panelist, and together we sold many, many books.  SO THANK YOU AGAIN, TERRI!

After the mystery seminar, I joined some dear friends for a late-night Cajun snack.  (Which consisted of great fried oysters, catfish, and Abita Beer.)  I must say, it was a wonderful conclusion to a most wonderful day.  And by the way, since one of the couples (Max and Barbara Talbott, of the Chateau Talbott Family in France) was at our table, I will end this post by mentioning something about their home state, Indiana…..

Thirty-six years ago today, ELVIS PRESLEY performed a memorable concert in Fort Wayne, Indiana.  The show was held at the Memorial Coliseum, and there were roughly 14,000 people in attendance.  The crowd was VERY enthusiastic, and just by coincidence, Elvis had just released a wonderful rendition of “How Great Thou Art.”

Naturally, the next day’s headline read:  “How Great He Was!”   Those in attendance swear that this was one of The King’s best shows….. and I don’t doubt it.   I just wonder if Elvis began the concert by asking the crowd….   “Hoosier Mama?”

A “Hoosier” is a resident of Indiana, but the etymology of the word is actually unkown.  (Some folks think the word comes from “hoo,” meaning high or hill in the old Angl0-Saxon language, or “hoozer” which means large)  Whatever the case, the good people of Indiana made Elvis feel quite welcome, and we should do our best to welcome them to Texas.  (Here we have a sneaky reference to my lovely birthday gift to Max Talbott, which will certainly get him “high.”)  Think Bourbon.

Well, gang, I must run…..  Sunday is my sweet Rachel’s wedding day (my oldest daughter) and we are putting together “gift boxes” for our out-of-town guests.  The story of Rachel’s wedding will be told in future blogs…. and you will not want to miss a single installment!  I shall write again soon……  Love to all……

Doc Yanoff, The Father of the Bride!

 

BREAKING NEWS!

WHO NEEDS NORWAY?  I say no way, Norway, you can keep that dang Nobel Prize for Boring Literature…..  I have some really exciting news!

As some (most?) of you know, I was sailing through the Panama Canal on the day that the publisher sent me the final galleys for THE PRESLEY PLOT.   Since I was preparing for a prolonged jungle trip (To visit the Embera Indians) my mind was on survival gear and head-hunting techniques, and so I did a VERY poor job of proofreading my own manuscript!  Nobody to blame but myself, although I still think the tribal witch doctor put a curse on me.  (He was a Jerry Lee Lewis fan.)

Anyway….. the good folks at Aberdeen Bay Publishing, having completely sold out of all the first editions of THE PRESLEY PLOT (and recognizing genius when they see it) have kindly agreed to make ALL OF THE CORRECTIONS for the second edition!  For me, this is wonderful news.  I was really annoyed that I did such a poor job proofreading, but now I have a chance to redeem myself.  Frankly, this is probably the only reason that I did not win the Nobel Prize.  (What else could it be?)  In any case, the second edition will be out shortly and available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Googlebooks.com, etc.    If you bought a first edition and want to trade it in, just let me know and I will be happy to make an exchange.  (I intend to give the first editions to a charitable organization.)  However, I understand that error laden books are actually valuable if and when the author becomes famous….. think of the stamps that are so valuable because of printing errors.  So…. you might want to hold on to your first copy.

And since we are on the subject of publishing…..  the brilliant acquisitions editor at Aberdeen Bay Books (who is also an accomplished author) has requested that I promptly forward a copy of my second mystery novel titled….. MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE.  I am hoping to hear something positive in a month or so, and I will keep you informed of my progress.  Keep your fingers (and some of your toes) crossed for me!  My editor, a wonderful professional named Karl Monger, actually enjoyed the second book more than the first, which is a very good sign.  Of course, as you know by now, there are no guarantees in the competitive world of publishing.

Finally, I would like to remind those that live in or near Austin, that I will be a featured speaker/panelist at a mystery writers seminar this coming Wednesday.  The event is being sponsored by the Austin Literary Salon.  The location of the event will be at Wildflower Terrace Apartments, 3801 Berkman Drive.  (In their main auditorium)  The festivities begin promptly at 6:30 p.m. and end at 8:30 p.m.    As I mentioned previously, there will be a panel discussion, a Q & A session, and then a book reading and book signing.  Admission is almost free, and a gourmet dinner prepared by a world famous French chef will be available.  (For the modest sum of $12,000 per person, not including wine.)  What a bargain!  What a steal!  Buy a book!  Get a meal!

All right, enough with the marketing routine.  If you’re free, come down and join the fun.  You will not be disappointed.  They are expecting a sold out crowd, so plan to arrive by 6 p.m. if you want to get a good seat.  (And remember to ask me some easy questions and laugh at all of my dumb jokes!)

Well, I’m off to get ready for another Sunday function with some of my major blog followers up in Round Rock.  Mrs. Helena Bomblatus (a charming and lovely woman from Portugal) is hosting an elaborate (and authentic) dinner party, featuring gourmet goodies from the Azores.  She is quite the chef, and I am anxiously awaiting her most recent culinary creation.  It will also be nice to be surrounded by a fawning bunch of psychopaths, I mean, sycophants, who think I’m the best thing since white bread.  Ah, the price of fame.  Well, it’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.  (I can really sympathize with Brad Pitt.)

Have a wonderful Sunday and be careful out there…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY!

IF YOU WRITE MYSTERY NOVELS…. which I do, and you travel internationally, which I just did, would you be considered an international man of mystery?  Groovy, baby!  I thought so, too.  And frankly, that’s better than being an international house of pancakes.  (Certainly better than eating there!)  The reason I ask is that I am contemplating a trip to Oslo, Norway, to supervise the voting re-count of the Nobel Prize for Literature.  I still find it hard to believe that THE PRESLEY PLOT lost out to some hack story from Viet Nam or Ghana or Paraguay or wherever the heck that writer came from.  (I don’t trust those Third World judges….  look at the last Miss Universe Contest.  Miss Maldives wins?  What’s that about?)

Speaking of international delights….. I would like to say “szia” to Miss Monika Leipniker, a beautiful and brilliant young lady from Hungary.  I met Monika on my last trip to London and was very impressed by her keen wit and literary insight.  (Which means she liked my book!)  “Hogy vagy?”  (How are you?)   I hope all is well in Jolly Old England…. and remember, if it gets too cold in London, you’re welcome to come to Austin, Texas!

And since we’re on the subject of moving to Austin…..  If any of my worldwide followers are planning a move to our lovely city, you must get your hands on a copy of the AUSTIN RELOCATION GUIDE….. the brainchild of a local genius (and world-class poker player) named Kevin Evans.  Mr. E publishes a wonderful guide to our city, and in my humble view, it is definitely the place to start if you’re planning to relocate.  (And let’s face it, the whole world wants to live in Austin….  except Miss Maldives.)  You can reach my buddy Kevin at Kevans@argpub.com

Before I close, I would also like to welcome a few more Elvis Presley Fan Clubs.

THESE CLUBS ARE THE MAIN REASON THAT MY BLOG NOW HAS CLOSE TO 3,000 FOLLOWERS IN 37 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!

(Which is why I capitalized the entire sentence!)

So…..   A big thank you to…..  Itsonlylove4thepresleys@yahoogroups.com….. Bigethehounddogs@yahoogroups.com….. Crazy4Elvis42@yahoogroups.com….. and last, but not least,  Elivslovemetender@hotmail.com

Incidentally, on October 16, 1956 (Yesterday) the Elvis Presley film “Love Me Tender” premiered in the good old U.S.A.  (How’s that for timing?)

Well, time to walk the grand-dog…..  Have a wonderful day and be careful out there…..  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

FAKES… SNAKES… AND PATTY-CAKES!

Dearest Lovers of All Things Literary…..

On this very day, October 3rd, 1945, Elvis Presley entered a talent contest at the annual Mississippi-Alabama Fair and Dairy Show.  (The states were poor even then, so they had to combine the sponsorship!)  Anyway, one of Presley’s TEACHERS arranged for him to enter the contest after she heard him sing in class.  (Her name, just for “the record” was Mrs. Oleta Grimes.)  Elvis sang while standing on a chair and without any accompaniment.  (For those of you who went to school in New York that means without music.)  The Once and Future King sang a tender old hymn called “Old Shep.”

The poor lad won 5th prize!  (and got spanked by his mother for going on a dangerous ride!)

Well, that was NOT the case last night!  The FAKES refer to the poor folks who thought they could play poker with The Queen of Cork.  (Called thus because of her love of rose wine and also because she is VERY Irish…  think freckles!)    The SNAKES refer to yours truly, well known in poker circles (and among squares) as THE COBRA!    And finally, PATTY-CAKES is the nickname (yeah, she has several) of the woman who destroyed all of the competition at the huge and vicious My Place Poker Palace last night….. the one and only cutthroat chick, formerly known as the Corpus Christi Crusher…. Patricia Eileen McCloskey!  (nee Yanoff)

Don’t ask me how (because it’s too painful to remember) but the above poker machine ousted the mighty Cobra and several hundred others saps to place SECOND in the tournament.

She almost won the whole darn thing, but lost to a full house (the place was crowded) on the river!  (Actually, we were playing inside, not on the river, but you know what I mean.)  Yes, sir, that woman is “one of a kind” when it comes to games of chance.  And me?  Well, I played extremely good (what else is new?) but alas, my pocket queens were trumped by Big Slick on the flop.  (In keeping with THE PRESLEY PLOT theme I took my defeat well, but I insisted on singing two verses of “Don’t Be Cruel.”)

My utter grief and humiliation was short-lived… I ran into some friends in the parking lot and they asked me if they could purchase a couple of books.  (By sheer coincidence, I had several boxes, I mean, copies in my pickup truck.)  Consequently, I sold two books, autographed them, and went on my merry way… back to Merrywing Circle.  Well, I didn’t win the dang tournament or increase my standing, but I am now the best-selling author of the Jester Center Parking Lot.  (Hey, it’s all good!)

Today is sunny and pleasant down here in Austin, Texas.  I am on my way to spend some quality time with my grand-dog!  I hope you have a wonderful day, too.

(Baker, my grand-dog says hello!)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff, F.P.L.   (Former Poker Legend.)