Mystery Novels

July 18, 2012

ELVIS AUTHOR TAKES THE FIFTH!

Now don’t go jumping to conclusions!  The above title is not what it appears to be… final proof (as if we needed it!) that our beloved author of THE PRESLEY PLOT, Stephen G. Yanoff, has finally been brought to (literary) justice in a court of law!  No sir, that is not what I mean to imply.  In fact, the above title deals with a lovely situation that I have recently encountered….   As my loyal followers know, last night was the Grand, Super Deluxe, One Of A Kind Poker Tournament down at MY PLACE SPORTS BAR.

The field was extremely tough.  (Actually, we played inside.)  Nevertheless, there might have been 2,000 highly qualified Texas Hold ‘Em champion players in the room (all right, I said “might.”)  Whatever the number, there were no seats available for any late-comers or stragglers.  The place was packed to the rafters and I am pleased to say that it was our largest turnout of the season.  Many, many great and semi-famous players showed up, and as you can imagine, the competition was stiff.  (Too much alcohol!)

I, of course, do not know the meaning of the word fear.  (Or several other words.)  Still, when I saw who was at my table, I figured that I would soon be eliminated.  (Especially if they caught me cheating again.)  However, I played quite well, and the poker gods were with me most of the time.  Don’t ask me how, but I managed to make it to the final table!  (With very little cheating.)

You can imagine my surprise when I looked to my left and saw one of my most brilliant students (a woman who was on full scholarship at my poker academy in Austin)……  none other than Judge Susan, THE LEGAL EAGLE!    Her Honor played brilliantly and outlasted a room full of folks who were anxious to get their greedy little hands on a VERY LARGE JACKPOT of cold, hard cash!  To be honest, I thought that the Judge and I were going to make history, but it was not meant to be.

HOWEVER…..   we both placed high up in the tournament!  Judge Susan came in 6th and I finished 5th.  (Hence the above title regarding me taking the fifth!)

NOW FOR THE BIG NEWS!      Gin Keller, our lovely host, sold a ton of books entitled THE PRESLEY PLOT!    Almost half of the tournament participants purchased a copy of my new mystery novel!   Naturally, I was happy to autograph and few thousand copies, and I was very, very pleased by the support I received from my fellow gambling addicts.  Oddly enough, I made more money selling books last night than playing poker!

I would like to thank Miss Linda, the owner of MY PLACE for hosting such a great tournament and also for allowing me to set up a table loaded with copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT…  which were selling like hot cakes!    We all had a wonderful evening, and those present, will remember a truly outstanding event.

Be well and be careful…..   Your tired but happy author…..

Doc Yanoff

 

 

July 15, 2012

YOUR PLACE OR “MY PLACE?”

Maybe we should go to MY PLACE.  (No, not my place, as in my home, but MY PLACE SPORTS BAR.)

Tuesday, July 17th, would be a wonderful day (make that, night) to meet.

Why you ask?

Because that night MY PLACE is hosting a nationally renowned event known as the “Deepstack Texas Hold ‘Em Tournament of Central Texas!”    Yours truly has qualified for the tournament, which will be run by the lovely and talented woman we call “The Queen of Hearts,”  …….   Ms. Gin Keller!

Now here’s the exciting part….  (at least to me!)…..  In addition to some MAJOR cash prizes, the top three finishers will receive an autographed copy of the best-sellling mystery novel….  THE PRESLEY PLOT!

BUT WAIT!  THERE’S MORE!

Our hosts will be providing lots of table space for hundreds of copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT, and any player who buys a book will be given a chip bonus of…… $5,000!!    (Or more.)

So what are you waiting for???    Come on down to MY PLACE on Tuesday, July 17th, and 6 p.m. and win a fortune plus meet a best-selling author!  (Or me.)  Seriously, I hope to see you there!  Trust me, you will have the time of your life!  (By the way, MY PLACE is at the Jester Exit off of 2222 in Austin!)

Hope to see you soon!

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

 

 

 

July 7, 2012

SOMETHING FISHY!

I’d like to wish everyone a happy (albeit belated) Fourth of July!  Hopefully nobody had a “short fuse” and everyone had a “blast.”  (I assume some of you got “lit,” but I won’t go there!)

My personal celebration included a wonderful guided fishing trip on Lake Buchanan in Central Texas.  My compadres and I (Dr. Talbott and Professor Bomblatus) drove up to the charming hamlet of Tow, Texas, and “hooked up”  (so to speak) with Ken Milam the legendary owner/operator of “STRIPER FEVER.”

Thanks to my well-honed skills as an outdoorsman (I brought the beer) we all had a great time and we each caught our full limit of fish.  Ken was kind enough to filet the little rascals when we got back to shore, and we returned with plenty of delicious filets for that night’s dinner.  (Trust me, you have not tasted fish until you’ve had fresh caught striper with Cajun seasoning, grilled over an open fire!)

Ken Milam is also the host of “The Great Outdoors,” a very popular radio program broadcast in the Texas Hill Country.  Since I caught the biggest fish (all right, one of the biggest) he was kind enough to offer his help in arranging a book signing/speaking engagement at Callahan’s General Store, a landmark facility in Burnet, Texas.  I am one busy buckeroo this summer, but if my schedule opens up, I intend to take him up on his offer.

Meanwhile…..  THE PRESLEY PLOT continues to sell well and garner good reviews.  Earlier this week, Ken Evans, a prominent Austin businessman (and one hell of a poker player!) purchased 20 books for family and friends.  Thank you, Ken!  A few more sales like that and I will be able to retire.  (Again!)

I just received an interesting update on the Elvis Presley Steamboat Cruise leaving out of Memphis….  and I will post some tantalizing details in my next missive.

Until then, have fun and be safe…..

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

 

June 29, 2012

PLAYING WITH A FULL DECK!

The author of THE PRESLEY PLOT (Stephen Yanoff) who happens to be a “REAL CARD,” is proud to announce that he has joined forces with Gin Keller, professional poker entertainment expert and marketing genius at the Deep Stack Poker Club in Austin,  Texas.

Gin and her colleagues will now be advertising THE PRESLEY PLOT on their very popular web site…..  and they will also be selling the book at their various poker tournaments throughout the southwest!

I am very pleased to be associated with this fine group (they do a ton of charity work in Central Texas) and I’m delighted that my new mystery novel (have I mentioned the name of the book?) will now be available to hundreds (perhaps thousands) of poker players in Texas.

As you might know, ELVIS enjoyed playing poker.  No surprise.  After all, he was THE KING OF HEARTS to millions of fans!

Incidentally, when I’m not traveling, scuba diving, or gardening….. I’m playing poker!  (Texas Hold ‘Em, naturally.)  I have won over 20 tournaments and I would probably win many more if I were allowed to cheat.  (Definitely not a wise thing to do in the Lone Star State!)

Well, that’s about it for now.  Remember, friends, never draw to an inside straight….  unless you already have a flush!

Vaya con Dios…..

Doc Yanoff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 23, 2012

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MARBLES?

I am very happy to report that Elvis (and his mother, Gladys) will NOT be losing their marble crypt after all.

The auction, which was scheduled for TODAY has been permanently cancelled due to a massive (and international) public outcry.  As I previously

mentioned, Elvis and his mother were briefly interred in the crypt, which is located in Forest Hill Cemetery in Memphis.  (Do NOT attempt to find

this crypt in Forest Hills, New York!)  You could be seriously injured by a tennis player!  Anyway, I’m glad they cancelled the auction and have

decided to maintain the burial site as a tribute to the King.  They still need to erect that fence I spoke of.  (Yeah, that’s right, people are “dying to

get in!”)

Some of you have asked about the section in THE PRESLEY PLOT that deals with crypts and mausoleums.  You were curious about the difference

between the two.  Basically, a crypt is underground.  (Often under a church)   A mausoleum is an above-ground structure.  In case you’re interested,

the word “mausoleum” comes from the Tomb of Mausolus, and amazing structure built around 350 BC at Bodrum, Turkey.   I have been to Bodrum

a number of times and have always been fascinated by this tomb.  (It was built to contain the body of Mausolus, a major player in the Persian

Empire.)  Believe it or not, it was so impressive for its day that it was considered to be one the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World!

(The Frozen Margarita finished number eight.  What’s that about?)

Well, my friends, it is roughly 100 degrees down here in Austin, so I must bid you adieu and jump in the pool.

Take care, be happy, and I shall write again soon.

Doc Yanoff

 

 

June 19, 2012

WHAT THE HELL, A KISS-AND-TELL???

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.  One of the King’s gal-pals (Linda Thompson, a former Miss Tennessee!) has apparently published a book that claims that Elvis was a “womanizing, pill popping fiend who terrorized his loved ones with violence.”    (If you ask me, I think the poor woman was a little confused.  Maybe she was thinking of a certain ex-Senator and ex-Presidential Candidate from North Carolina?)  Just saying.

Anyway, this type of stuff is to be expected, so if you like Elvis, don’t be dismayed.  As we approach the 35th anniversary of his death other folks are bound to come out to cash in on his reputation in some sort of negative fashion.  BUT NOT “THE PRESLEY PLOT!”    For those of you who have not yet ordered a copy of the book from Amazon.com, I would remind you that it was not my intention to portray Elvis in a negative light.  (Here’s some trivia that might explain my view:  Did you know that the VERY FIRST record album I ever bought (with my babysitting money!) was a fantastic record called “Elvis Presley’s Golden Hits?”  I played that record continuously, memorized every lyric, and actually wore out the grooves!  I still have the album, but I don’t have an “old fashioned” record player anymore.

Incidentally, I’m not saying that the big guy was perfect (who is, besides me and you?  And frankly, I have my doubts about you.) BUT….. just for the record….. I think my readers should know that Linda Thompson was once married to….. Kim Kardashian’s super-jock stepdad Bruce Jenner!

Your Honor, I rest my case.

So there you have it folks.  The latest gossip.  By the way, this story (about the forthcoming kiss-and-tell book) was first published in a highly questionable “rag” called The Globe.  (A British tabloid who published the story with this headline:  ELVIS’ LOVER TELLS ALL!)

Reminds me of something Mark Twain once said:   “If you don’t read the newspaper, you will be uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper, you will be misinformed!”

Amen, brothers and sisters.

Doc Yanoff

P.S.  I hope one of my ex-girlfriends writes a book about me.  I could use the publicity!

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 14, 2012

DON’T STOP THE PRESSES!

Well, I scored some big points today…..

In fact, I scored four points.  (As in THE FOUR POINTS NEWS!)

In case you’re wondering what I’m babbling about, I just had the privilege of being interviewed by THE FOUR POINTS NEWS, one of our

outstanding local newspapers.  (They have a large and growing circulation that reaches almost 10,000 homeowners in West Austin!)

The reporter and I spent about an hour together discussing THE PRESLEY PLOT, and then she took some photographs of my rock garden.

(Rumored to be one of the largest privately owned rock gardens in our galaxy and most of the universe as presently understood by the scientific

community!)

I really enjoyed the interview and will post the full article as soon as it is published.  Hopefully, this will be the first of many such interviews.

Meanwhile…..  orders for THE PRESLEY PLOT continue to pour into Amazon.com, and much to my surprise, they are now on their third

or fourth printing.  (God bless my mother!)  I would like to thank everyone who has purchased a book (and especially those who have purchased

more than one) and I want you to know that I intend to take each and every one of you to the Academy Awards.  (What a bus trip that will be!)

Starting planning your vacation days and looking for baby-sitters!

(Brad and Angelina will be supplying the hot dogs and beer.)

Love to all…..       Doc Yanoff

June 11, 2012

I TOLD YOU ELVIS WASN’T DEAD!

Well, hold onto your cape and jumpsuit, friends…..

The company behind the Tupac (the rap music gent) hologram recently announced

that they intend to go for the gold, or perhaps I should say the sequins, and bring

the King back to life!  (Sort of.)

Digital Domain Media Group plans to produce a “virtual” likeness of Elvis Presley.

The likeness will be used in stage shows, television, and film appearances!  (Can a

White House invitation be far off?)

No word yet on whether the King will appear in the movie version of my book,

THE PRESLEY PLOT.  I sent a virtual “feeler” to his agent, but he turned out to be

a hologram himself, and thus far, I have heard nothing from the good folks at

Graceland.  (I hope they’re real people!)  One never knows.

In any case, if you haven’t seen a hologram, you will be amazed by the effect of

having someone “reappear” before your very eyes.  It is quite spooky in a way, but

also incredibly entertaining.  If you’re an Elvis fan, I would be curious to know what

you think about this project.  I have mixed feelings, but what do you think?

For those of you that can’t wait for the hologram, I would remind you that you can

now purchase THE PRESLEY PLOT on Amazon. com   (Just go the Amazon site and

type in the title of the book or my name.)  If you like what you read, PLEASE take a

moment and write a short review.

Thanks and God bless…

Doc Yanoff

 

June 9, 2012

“BOOK ‘EM, DANNO!”

These immortal words uttered by Steve McGarrett (played by Jack Lord), now have

a special meaning to me, and it has nothing to do with Hawaii.   No, I was not

charged with “murder one,” or any other crime.  (Unless you count impersonating a

mystery author a crime!)

“BOOK ‘EM” refers to the joyous fact that THE PRESLEY PLOT, my new mystery

novel, is now available on…..  AMAZON.COM!

All you have to do is go to the Amazon site and type in the name of the book (or

my name) and then hit the “go button.”     A photo of the book cover, and a brief

description of the plot will be posted in a few days.

AMAZINGLY….. there were over 300 pre-orders for the book and they have

already depleted (TEMPORARILY) their stock.

However, you can still order the book and once a new shipment arrives your copy

will be promptly sent out.  I suggest you purchase a book A.S.A.P.   (Before my

mother buys all the copies again!)

As a courtesy to my readers, I would be more than happy to autograph any and all

copies purchased.  What a marvelous gift a “personalized” book would be!

Once again, thank you for all of your love and support.  If I could, I would give

each one of you a big hug!

Take care…  and let me hear from you!

Doc Yanoff

June 5, 2012

WELCOME ELVIS FAN CLUB MEMBERS!

Groucho Marx famously declared that he would never join any club that wanted

him as a member.

Well, I don’t feel that way!

I have recently joined a couple of Elvis Presley Fan Clubs and I’m quite impressed

by their members and the clever posts they create.  These are very talented and

passionate folks, and they are doing a great job keeping The King in the public

eye.  (As I have previously stated, Elvis is selling more records today than when he

was alive!)

To all of you fan club members I have one (or two) things to say…..

Keep up the good work!

And thank you.

Now, for all of you old salts (and young peppers) hold onto your life jacket because

Carnival Cruise Line is now offering a 7-day voyage called….  “THE LEGENDS

ELVIS CRUISE!”     The ship leaves from Galveston (without Glenn Campbell)

on February 3, 2013.     Stops include Montego Bay, Grand Cayman, Cozumel,

and Tupelo, Mississippi.  (Just kidding about that last port!)

If you’re interested check out the ship…  the Carnival Magic.

Well, shiver me timbers, it’s time to go.  (Believe it or not, I’m on my way to an

authentic Hawaiian luau!)  In Austin!  Go figure.

Happy “sails” to you until we meet again!

Doc Yanoff