July 13, 2012

THE “SEASONED” CITIZENS CENTER…..

Good day, ladies and gentlemen…..

As some of you know, I spent several years serving as a volunteer chaperon at the Austin Senior Citizen’s Center. (No, they weren’t being naughty! We were going on field trips around Central Texas.) I enjoyed every minute, and lately I have continued to speak at some of their meetings, as well as some of the large AARP groups that we have down in these parts. The turnout and reception are always good, and my most recent foray was no different.

After a brief discussion about THE PRESLEY PLOT (and high blood pressure!) I took some questions from the audience, and guess what??? There was a lovely woman in the group (somewhere between 90 and 95 years old) who actually met Elvis Presley during her youth! In fact, she met him in two countries at once! (Sort of.)

Apparently, The King performed on this very day at the “international” site known as….. NIAGARA FALLS! (On the U.S./Canadian border) The year was 1974 or 1975.

When she first mentioned Niagara, an older gentleman thought she said “Viagra” and he became quite interested in our conversation. He seemed rather disappointed when he learned that we were talking about the falls. Ah well, such is life.

The dear lady had a vivid memory of the Presley concert and even after all of these many years, she is still a huge fan. (She purchased two copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT, one for each of her grandchildren. Take that, Snoop Dog!)

Today is sunny and warm, so I must leave you now. (My “grand-dog” is staying with us this week, and he needs to go to the park.) Be well and be careful…..

Doc Yanoff

July 7, 2012

SOMETHING FISHY!

I’d like to wish everyone a happy (albeit belated) Fourth of July! Hopefully nobody had a “short fuse” and everyone had a “blast.” (I assume some of you got “lit,” but I won’t go there!)

My personal celebration included a wonderful guided fishing trip on Lake Buchanan in Central Texas. My compadres and I (Dr. Talbott and Professor Bomblatus) drove up to the charming hamlet of Tow, Texas, and “hooked up” (so to speak) with Ken Milam the legendary owner/operator of “STRIPER FEVER.”

Thanks to my well-honed skills as an outdoorsman (I brought the beer) we all had a great time and we each caught our full limit of fish. Ken was kind enough to filet the little rascals when we got back to shore, and we returned with plenty of delicious filets for that night’s dinner. (Trust me, you have not tasted fish until you’ve had fresh caught striper with Cajun seasoning, grilled over an open fire!)

Ken Milam is also the host of “The Great Outdoors,” a very popular radio program broadcast in the Texas Hill Country. Since I caught the biggest fish (all right, one of the biggest) he was kind enough to offer his help in arranging a book signing/speaking engagement at Callahan’s General Store, a landmark facility in Burnet, Texas. I am one busy buckeroo this summer, but if my schedule opens up, I intend to take him up on his offer.

Meanwhile….. THE PRESLEY PLOT continues to sell well and garner good reviews. Earlier this week, Ken Evans, a prominent Austin businessman (and one hell of a poker player!) purchased 20 books for family and friends. Thank you, Ken! A few more sales like that and I will be able to retire. (Again!)

I just received an interesting update on the Elvis Presley Steamboat Cruise leaving out of Memphis…. and I will post some tantalizing details in my next missive.

Until then, have fun and be safe…..

Doc Yanoff

June 29, 2012

PLAYING WITH A FULL DECK!

The author of THE PRESLEY PLOT (Stephen Yanoff) who happens to be a “REAL CARD,” is proud to announce that he has joined forces with Gin Keller, professional poker entertainment expert and marketing genius at the Deep Stack Poker Club in Austin, Texas.

Gin and her colleagues will now be advertising THE PRESLEY PLOT on their very popular web site….. and they will also be selling the book at their various poker tournaments throughout the southwest!

I am very pleased to be associated with this fine group (they do a ton of charity work in Central Texas) and I’m delighted that my new mystery novel (have I mentioned the name of the book?) will now be available to hundreds (perhaps thousands) of poker players in Texas.

As you might know, ELVIS enjoyed playing poker. No surprise. After all, he was THE KING OF HEARTS to millions of fans!

Incidentally, when I’m not traveling, scuba diving, or gardening….. I’m playing poker! (Texas Hold ‘Em, naturally.) I have won over 20 tournaments and I would probably win many more if I were allowed to cheat. (Definitely not a wise thing to do in the Lone Star State!)

Well, that’s about it for now. Remember, friends, never draw to an inside straight…. unless you already have a flush!

Vaya con Dios…..

Doc Yanoff

June 23, 2012

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MARBLES?

I am very happy to report that Elvis (and his mother, Gladys) will NOT be losing their marble crypt after all.

The auction, which was scheduled for TODAY has been permanently cancelled due to a massive (and international) public outcry. As I previously

mentioned, Elvis and his mother were briefly interred in the crypt, which is located in Forest Hill Cemetery in Memphis. (Do NOT attempt to find

this crypt in Forest Hills, New York!) You could be seriously injured by a tennis player! Anyway, I’m glad they cancelled the auction and have

decided to maintain the burial site as a tribute to the King. They still need to erect that fence I spoke of. (Yeah, that’s right, people are “dying to

get in!”)

Some of you have asked about the section in THE PRESLEY PLOT that deals with crypts and mausoleums. You were curious about the difference

between the two. Basically, a crypt is underground. (Often under a church) A mausoleum is an above-ground structure. In case you’re interested,

the word “mausoleum” comes from the Tomb of Mausolus, and amazing structure built around 350 BC at Bodrum, Turkey. I have been to Bodrum

a number of times and have always been fascinated by this tomb. (It was built to contain the body of Mausolus, a major player in the Persian

Empire.) Believe it or not, it was so impressive for its day that it was considered to be one the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World!

(The Frozen Margarita finished number eight. What’s that about?)

Well, my friends, it is roughly 100 degrees down here in Austin, so I must bid you adieu and jump in the pool.

Take care, be happy, and I shall write again soon.

Doc Yanoff

June 19, 2012

WHAT THE HELL, A KISS-AND-TELL???

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. One of the King’s gal-pals (Linda Thompson, a former Miss Tennessee!) has apparently published a book that claims that Elvis was a “womanizing, pill popping fiend who terrorized his loved ones with violence.” (If you ask me, I think the poor woman was a little confused. Maybe she was thinking of a certain ex-Senator and ex-Presidential Candidate from North Carolina?) Just saying.

Anyway, this type of stuff is to be expected, so if you like Elvis, don’t be dismayed. As we approach the 35th anniversary of his death other folks are bound to come out to cash in on his reputation in some sort of negative fashion. BUT NOT “THE PRESLEY PLOT!” For those of you who have not yet ordered a copy of the book from Amazon.com, I would remind you that it was not my intention to portray Elvis in a negative light. (Here’s some trivia that might explain my view: Did you know that the VERY FIRST record album I ever bought (with my babysitting money!) was a fantastic record called “Elvis Presley’s Golden Hits?” I played that record continuously, memorized every lyric, and actually wore out the grooves! I still have the album, but I don’t have an “old fashioned” record player anymore.

Incidentally, I’m not saying that the big guy was perfect (who is, besides me and you? And frankly, I have my doubts about you.) BUT….. just for the record….. I think my readers should know that Linda Thompson was once married to….. Kim Kardashian’s super-jock stepdad Bruce Jenner!

Your Honor, I rest my case.

So there you have it folks. The latest gossip. By the way, this story (about the forthcoming kiss-and-tell book) was first published in a highly questionable “rag” called The Globe. (A British tabloid who published the story with this headline: ELVIS’ LOVER TELLS ALL!)

Reminds me of something Mark Twain once said: “If you don’t read the newspaper, you will be uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you will be misinformed!”

Amen, brothers and sisters.

Doc Yanoff

P.S. I hope one of my ex-girlfriends writes a book about me. I could use the publicity!

June 14, 2012

DON’T STOP THE PRESSES!

Well, I scored some big points today…..

In fact, I scored four points. (As in THE FOUR POINTS NEWS!)

In case you’re wondering what I’m babbling about, I just had the privilege of being interviewed by THE FOUR POINTS NEWS, one of our

outstanding local newspapers. (They have a large and growing circulation that reaches almost 10,000 homeowners in West Austin!)

The reporter and I spent about an hour together discussing THE PRESLEY PLOT, and then she took some photographs of my rock garden.

(Rumored to be one of the largest privately owned rock gardens in our galaxy and most of the universe as presently understood by the scientific

community!)

I really enjoyed the interview and will post the full article as soon as it is published. Hopefully, this will be the first of many such interviews.

Meanwhile….. orders for THE PRESLEY PLOT continue to pour into Amazon.com, and much to my surprise, they are now on their third

or fourth printing. (God bless my mother!) I would like to thank everyone who has purchased a book (and especially those who have purchased

more than one) and I want you to know that I intend to take each and every one of you to the Academy Awards. (What a bus trip that will be!)

Starting planning your vacation days and looking for baby-sitters!

(Brad and Angelina will be supplying the hot dogs and beer.)

Love to all….. Doc Yanoff

June 11, 2012

I TOLD YOU ELVIS WASN’T DEAD!

Well, hold onto your cape and jumpsuit, friends…..

The company behind the Tupac (the rap music gent) hologram recently announced

that they intend to go for the gold, or perhaps I should say the sequins, and bring

the King back to life! (Sort of.)

Digital Domain Media Group plans to produce a “virtual” likeness of Elvis Presley.

The likeness will be used in stage shows, television, and film appearances! (Can a

White House invitation be far off?)

No word yet on whether the King will appear in the movie version of my book,

THE PRESLEY PLOT. I sent a virtual “feeler” to his agent, but he turned out to be

a hologram himself, and thus far, I have heard nothing from the good folks at

Graceland. (I hope they’re real people!) One never knows.

In any case, if you haven’t seen a hologram, you will be amazed by the effect of

having someone “reappear” before your very eyes. It is quite spooky in a way, but

also incredibly entertaining. If you’re an Elvis fan, I would be curious to know what

you think about this project. I have mixed feelings, but what do you think?

For those of you that can’t wait for the hologram, I would remind you that you can

now purchase THE PRESLEY PLOT on Amazon. com (Just go the Amazon site and

type in the title of the book or my name.) If you like what you read, PLEASE take a

moment and write a short review.

Thanks and God bless…

Doc Yanoff

June 9, 2012

“BOOK ‘EM, DANNO!”

These immortal words uttered by Steve McGarrett (played by Jack Lord), now have

a special meaning to me, and it has nothing to do with Hawaii. No, I was not

charged with “murder one,” or any other crime. (Unless you count impersonating a

mystery author a crime!)

“BOOK ‘EM” refers to the joyous fact that THE PRESLEY PLOT, my new mystery

novel, is now available on….. AMAZON.COM!

All you have to do is go to the Amazon site and type in the name of the book (or

my name) and then hit the “go button.” A photo of the book cover, and a brief

description of the plot will be posted in a few days.

AMAZINGLY….. there were over 300 pre-orders for the book and they have

already depleted (TEMPORARILY) their stock.

However, you can still order the book and once a new shipment arrives your copy

will be promptly sent out. I suggest you purchase a book A.S.A.P. (Before my

mother buys all the copies again!)

As a courtesy to my readers, I would be more than happy to autograph any and all

copies purchased. What a marvelous gift a “personalized” book would be!

Once again, thank you for all of your love and support. If I could, I would give

each one of you a big hug!

Take care… and let me hear from you!

Doc Yanoff

June 5, 2012

WELCOME ELVIS FAN CLUB MEMBERS!

Groucho Marx famously declared that he would never join any club that wanted

him as a member.

Well, I don’t feel that way!

I have recently joined a couple of Elvis Presley Fan Clubs and I’m quite impressed

by their members and the clever posts they create. These are very talented and

passionate folks, and they are doing a great job keeping The King in the public

eye. (As I have previously stated, Elvis is selling more records today than when he

was alive!)

To all of you fan club members I have one (or two) things to say…..

Keep up the good work!

And thank you.

Now, for all of you old salts (and young peppers) hold onto your life jacket because

Carnival Cruise Line is now offering a 7-day voyage called…. “THE LEGENDS

ELVIS CRUISE!” The ship leaves from Galveston (without Glenn Campbell)

on February 3, 2013. Stops include Montego Bay, Grand Cayman, Cozumel,

and Tupelo, Mississippi. (Just kidding about that last port!)

If you’re interested check out the ship… the Carnival Magic.

Well, shiver me timbers, it’s time to go. (Believe it or not, I’m on my way to an

authentic Hawaiian luau!) In Austin! Go figure.

Happy “sails” to you until we meet again!

Doc Yanoff

June 4, 2012

WRITING ACROSS TEXAS…..

If this name sounds familiar, you must live in the Texas Hill Country. (Or perhaps

in lovely Austin.) Writing Across Texas was the name of the local television show

that I co-hosted a few years back. (We used to interview famous authors who lived

or worked in Texas.) The show was quite popular, and was brilliantly produced and

directed by Larry Brill. (Brill Media)

I was thinking about the task of writing early this morning when two (semi)

humorous questions popped into my head…..

First, how would we know if a word was misspelled in the dictionary?

Second, what’s another word for Thesaurus?

See, you thought it was easy being a writer! Not so. (I could have asked why

“sour” cream has an expiration date. What happens if you keep it too long? Does

it become fresh?)

For my loyal Elvis fans, I would like to point out that on this day (In 1992) the

U.S. Postal Service announced that it was going to adopt the “younger Elvis” stamp

design. (The skinny version cost the same as the heavy version, which in my view,

just doesn’t seem fair!)

Well, I must leave you now. Perhaps I shall close with a thought by Jimmy

(Margaritaville) Buffet: “Elvis Presley was the only man from Mississippi who

could shake his hips and still be loved by rednecks, cops, and hippies.”

Hmmmm.

Doc Yanoff