SOME LIKE IT HOT?

Maybe so, but not this hot!  Yikes, boys and girls, we’re in the middle of another heat wave!  (Why is it called a “wave” when there is no water or rain in sight?)  Dang, it’s really hot down here in Austin, Texas.  It’s so hot, the hens are laying hard boiled eggs!  It’s so hot, I saw two cedar trees fighting over a dog!  (Hey, wait a minute, didn’t we do enough “hot jokes” last time?)  All right, let’s move on to something more pleasant …..

Since we’re on the subject of “hot streaks,” allow me to (proudly) announce that THE SECOND MOURNING (The Untold Story of America’s Most Bizarre Political Murder) has recently been named as a FINALIST of the 2015 USA BEST BOOK AWARDS!  This honor caught me by surprise, and I am very grateful for the acknowledgement of my work.  Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals will be awarded in November, so keep your fingers crossed for me!

By the way, you can take a look at the review online.  Simply go to the USA BEST BOOK AWARDS website:   http://www.usabooknews.com/nonfichistory

So what else is new?  I just heard that Ultimate Frisbee has become an official Olympic sport.  (Participants will be REQUIRED to be on drugs!)  What’s next, Pachisi and Chinese Checkers?  I hear that Gov. Chris Christie is demanding Dominoes.  (Not the game, the pizza!)  Hey, how come Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream endorsed Bernie Sanders and not Chris Christie?  What’s the story with that?  Bernie Sanders is kind of old to become President.  Hell, he can still remember when Howard Johnson only had two flavors!  (Now that’s old.  Older than that joke!)

My recent book signing in lovely Marble Falls was a huge success.  (Some very big people were in the audience.)  They got big from eating at the Blue Bonnet Cafe!  (Yeah, I ate there, too.)  We feasted on some very good pies, and believe it or not, they actually have a “Pie Happy Hour!”  If you’re in the mood for a good slice of coconut cream pie, then this is the place to go.  When you’re done eating, head over to Save the World Brewing Company.  They offer some excellent Belgian-style brews.  (They go great with coconut cream pie!)  Thanks to the Chamber of Commerce for arranging a most interesting afternoon!

Finally, in closing, I would like to welcome my newest (and definitely youngest) blog follower to our Sunday get-together.  I don’t usually single out anyone, but this young lady is sort of special, and I’m very close to her mother.   Soooooo …..  without any further adieu, welcome to the club, Miss Goldie Delilah!  (Who just happens to be my newly born grand-daughter/tax deduction!)  Grandpa Steve sends his love!  (And don’t worry, you’ll like some of these jokes when you get older!)

Well, my dear friends, time to take my leave.  The temperatures for the next 3 days are expected to be…  104, 105, and 106!  Consequently, I must supervise my wife’s roofing chores this afternoon.  (She’s replacing a few loose tiles.)  Actually, I’m the one with a few loose tiles, but that’s a different story!  Have yourselves a safe and wonderful week…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

P.S.  Several of you have asked to see a photo of the “floating tavern” that visited us each day in the Caribbean.  Your wish is my command!  (SEE ATTACHED)

 

 

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IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE HEAT…..

STAY OUT OF TEXAS!  Actually, the phrase goes like this…  “If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.”  Truman said that.  Who knew that Truman Capote was so concerned about the weather?  Live and learn.  Make that, live and burn, if you live in Texas.  So here’s the deal…  Yesterday it was 106 degrees, which keeps the riff raff off of the golf course, and this morning it is 75 degrees.  By my calculation, that would be a 31 degree swing!  (The participation is 40%)  I think more folks would participate if it was cooler.  Just saying.

As you can see, we are now enjoying the “Dog Days of Summer.”  (The weather has been very “ruff.”)  Just in case you become a contestant on a game show, I think you should know that this term applies to a 40-day period from early July to early September.  There are many myths concerning the origin of the term, but in fact, it was coined in ancient Rome.  “Dog Days” refers to the rising and setting of the second brightest star besides the sun.  (no, not me.)  That would be Sirius, the Dog Star.  Sirius was one “hot dog.”  During this 40 day period, the temperatures rose astronomically, so to speak, and folks began to refer to the “Dog Days” of the year.

I know what you’re thinking.  Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.  Well, just for the record, that quote is often misattributed to Mark Twain (one of my literary idols).  In fact, it was first uttered by Charles Dudley Walker, an American essayist and novelist.  (Who was also a close friend of Mark Twain.)  So you see, I’m not the only one who steals material from a colleague!  (As I often say, “If they ain’t heard it before, it’s original!)

And speaking of original ideas and literary genius…..  THE PRESLEY PLOT and MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE continue to rack up some impressive sales, and earlier this week, our blog gained two new countries!  Yours truly is now a best-selling author in the Philippines and in Madagascar!  (Just between you and me, Madagascar sounds like a race car organization.  But hey, the place has a population of 18 million readers, I mean, people.)  In any case, WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

Last Friday was an important day in the world of quality literature.  I finally finished my final revisions on DEVIL’S COVE, and the manuscript was sent to the printer!  We also corrected the spacing of the letters on the front cover, and now it looks marvelous, simply marvelous.  I’m told that I should have the first copy in several weeks, and then shortly thereafter, it will be available on all of the major internet markets.  Please feel obligated to purchase at least one copy.  (My air-conditioning bill is going to be high this month!)

I shall leave you with this profound thought….   All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to criticism!

Have a safe and pleasant week…..    Love to all,

Doc Yanoff