April 5, 2015

GLORY DAZE!

Before I explain, allow me to wish each and every one of my loyal blog followers (all 17,000 of you!) a Happy Easter and/or Joyous Passover. I truly hope that you and yours receive the full blessings of the season. Spring, as you know, is a time of renewal. (and I am not referring to your driver’s license!) Actually, Spring done sprung on March 20th, but who’s counting? (Other than the IRS?)

I think I’ve asked this question before, but is a person required to pay taxes EVERY year? I’m glad I have two children. They’re taxing, but also deductible. Well, at least the new tax forms have been simplified beyond understanding. Hey, why isn’t Lois Lane in jail? I mean, Lois Lerner? Come to think of it, how come I’m not in jail? Never mind, let’s move on…

Well, my dear friends, it has been quite a week. (Hence the title of this here blog post.) On the day I left charming Beaufort (South Carolina) I was informed that my book, THE SECOND MOURNING, was chosen as a FINALIST in the prestigious Indie Book Awards Contest sponsored by Foreward Reviews’ Magazine. (Gold, Silver, and Bronze Medals will be awarded on June 26th at the American Library Association Annual Conference in San Francisco. (Nominees are required to bring their own water!)

Two days later, when we arrived in Atlanta, I received word that THE SECOND MOURNING had won the GOLD MEDAL in the Beverly Hills International Book Award Contest! The honor was bestowed for best book of the year in the History – United States Category. In presenting the award, the judges were kind enough to write: “Dr. Yanoff’s book truly embodies the excellence that this award was created to celebrate.” All I can say is Hooray for Hollywood! (And thank you!)

Incredibly, it looks like I may also be a FINALIST or medal winner in a third literary contest. (I will know this Tuesday.) I just received an amazing review from the contest sponsor, Reader Reviews Magazine. The judge/reviewer described THE SECOND MOURNING in glowing terms, such as, “5 Stars – a treasure of a book,”excellent story,” “simply brilliant,” and “a must-read.” (My own mother couldn’t have written a better review, and believe me, she’s tried!)

Several blog followers have asked me to address the highlight of my trip to the Low Country. Giving Pat Conroy some writing tips was fun, but the peace de resistance, was eating barbecue pork at Sgt. White’s Restaurant and visiting the Marine Training Base on Parris Island. As some of you may know, I spent several summers training with the SEALS. (At SEAWORLD in San Antonio.) Stop laughing, it wasn’t easy balancing that ball on my nose. I did manage one amazing feat. (or should I say “flipper?”) I trained some of the animals to clean up their own pool! (I received the “Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval!) God, I need to get a real job.

I did hear one sad tale while touring the Marine Base. I met a Marine D.I. (Drill Instructor) who had just found out that his wife was having an affair! Naturally, he was devastated, so in order to find comfort and peace, he had turned to religion. Soon, he was able to come to terms with the whole thing. He had converted to Islam and was now planning to stone his wife in the morning! Hoorah! Semper Fi!

For those of you who are still awake, I shall end this historical, I mean, hysterical post by wishing you and yours a safe and wonderful week! If you scroll down, you will see some lovely photos taken in and around Beaufort, South Carolina. (I have deleted all nudity, due to federal regulations and concerns about the environment.)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

March 2, 2014

SMOKEY AND THE (BOOK) BANDIT…..

10-4 ROAD WARRIORS, THIS IS THE KING COBRA… DO YOU GOT YOUR EARS ON? I just passed a Kojak with a kodak. He looks like a county Mountie, but he may be a state trooper. Keep the metal off the petal and watch for a bear in the bushes. Roger that? Gosh, I just love this trucker CB lingo! One question, though….. Who’s this guy Roger they’re always talking about?

Well, as you can see, I’ve been spending a little too much time on the road. By the way, did you know that our Interstate system is laid out in a gridlock, I mean, grid-like fashion? Check it out, good buddies. The even numbered roads run east to west. (I-10, I-20, I-30, etc.) The odd numbered roads run north to south. (I-55, I-75, I-95, etc.) Our Interstate system was apparently designed by a Czech! I once passed a “bad Czech” (on the highway) but that’s another story.

My first stop (after Nashville) was Valdosta, Georgia. I attended a book club event, autographed a few copies of THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH, and then proceeded to amuse the Southern belles that were gathered at the big house. Naturally I managed to make a fool of myself by inquiring about “Valdosta Onions.” (They’re actually called VIDALIA Onions!) Nevertheless, I did not lose my “appeal” to the group… and nobody was brought to tears. Well, except for a few tears of laughter when I did my Rhett Butler impression.

I had “Georgia on my mind” until I reached warm and sunny Florida. The weather has been absolutely perfect. Last night my brothers and I threw a surprise party for our mother, who just turned 88 years old. Two of Grandma’s favorite nieces (Rachel and Rebecca) flew in from Austin, Texas, and surprised everyone with a guest appearance! We wined and dined at the Addison Club in Delray Beach… and feasted on the most incredible seafood (think lobster) buffet in the world! A truly wonderful evening was had by all, and thanks to my generous sister-in-law (Miss Grace) we intend to have another gourmet festival this afternoon….. when we will be celebrating the 39th birthday of my beautiful wife, Miss Patty. (Think great Italian food!)

While we’re on the subject of celebrations….. My third mystery novel, DEVIL’S COVE has just landed on the best-seller table at BookPeople in Austin, Texas! If you need a copy, come on down! (I will be happy to provide an autograph.) Even more exciting, is the wonderful news we just heard about Miss Kellie (the enchanting daughter of Judge Susan) Along with her handsome hubby, John, we are celebrating the soon-to-be birth of a little baby girl! The princess is due on September 1, 2014. (At approximately 3:45 p.m.) If you intend to visit, please bring your own french fries, as Miss Kellie is rather stingy with her spuds!

We have about 5 more days of Floridian fun ahead of us, and then it’s back on the book tour trail, bound for Tallahassee, Mobile, New Orleans, and then Austin. Whence I return, I will have a major announcement about book number four (THE SECOND MOURNING) so please stay tuned. Until then, take care, and love to all…..

Doc Yanoff, The Sun Tan Man.

February 23, 2014

“GETTING TO KNOW YOU”

DO YOU REMEMBER THIS DELIGHTFUL TUNE? Some folks think it’s the NSA theme song, but it was actually written by Rogers & Hammerstein for their Broadway show “The King and I.” (Which was a musical about Elvis Presley, I think.) Hopefully, you will get to know me better after today’s blog. I enjoy sharing my life with 7,000 blog followers, and I encourage you to share the big events of your life with me. Our blog is now in 40+ countries, so it would be interesting to hear what’s going on in your part of the world.

I am presently “on the road again.” As some of you know, I was born in Nashville, Tennessee, and I have some close relatives in and around “Music City, USA.” I drove up to Nashville to attend the funeral of my Uncle Jim, who was one of my favorite uncles and a truly great man. Believe it or not, my uncle, James Deatrick, joined the United States Air Force when he was 19 years old, served with distinction for 41 years, and left the service with the rank of Senior Master Sergeant. (Just about the highest NCO rank in the military!) Uncle Jim flew on the huge C-130 aircraft, and during his career he delivered supplies and weapons to just about every combat zone on earth.

I have always had the greatest admiration and respect for our military, and the folks who have worn the military uniform, but after witnessing a funeral with full military honors, I am simply in awe. Almost speechless. (A rarity for me!) What an incredibly moving ceremony. Truly remarkable. The precision of the flag folding, the repeated volley of rifle fire, and the playing of “Taps.” Witnessing this event made me proud to be an American and proud to be the nephew of one of our noble warriors… the folks who keep the rest of us safe and sound.

And speaking of sounds….. After the funeral, we returned to my Aunt Gladys’s home in Mt. Juliet, where we were serenaded by an up and coming Grand Ole Opry star named Skylar Starr. (Her stage name.) As her temporary agent, I can tell you that this young lady is destined for greatness. (Remember her name!) After her performance, I had the honor and privilege of meeting Uncle Jim’s family from “up north.” (Michigan, Wisconsin, etc.) What a great bunch of people! They had never seen the sun before, and one of Jim’s brothers had never seen the ground during his lifetime! (Too much snow!) Naturally we had a book signing…. and I autographed several thousand copies of THE GRACELAND GANG and THE PIRATE PATH. I fully expect to become a legend in Ann Arbor and certain counties on the Michigan peninsula.

Tomorrow I am driving down to Valdosta, Georgia, to sign some books at a local book club, eat a little pulled pork, and apologize for the Yankee intrusion known as “The War of Northern Aggression.” (i.e., The Civil War.) The following day I shall head due south, for the remote wilderness known as Boca Raton. Whence I arrive, we will celebrate my mother’s 88th birthday with a semi-surprise party. (She will be surprised when she gets the bill!) I shall keep you informed of my whereabouts! (we’re about out of time right now.) Sooooo…. Have a safe and wonderful week…..

Love to all…..

Doc Yanoff