September 30, 2012

LOVE THY NEIGHBORS!

I sure do! Especially after our recent book reading/book signing block party, held yesterday on Merrywing Circle in lovely Austin, Texas. We had a great turnout, and much to my surprise, I was the featured entertainment!

Bowing to popular demand (some were just kneeling) I read several excerpts from my new mystery novel THE PRESLEY PLOT. Much to my delight, nobody booed or threw any food, so I went on to discuss the perils and pitfalls of modern day publishing.

After a thunderous round of applause (Yes, it was raining) I held a Q & A (Question and Answer) session, and that too went quite well. In fact, it was the first time I’ve held such a session outside of a police department, and I found it very educational. There were some great questions. I answered all of them as honestly as I could, but I did make up the part about me being nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. (Nobody challenged me, so I threw in the Oscar and Emmy for good measure.)

As a token of my appreciation to our hosts, the lovely and talented Erika Lima, and her brilliant and sophisticated husband Francisco, I brought a bag filled with books and gave each neighbor an autographed copy of THE PRESLEY PLOT. (Two wanted money, but they settled for the book.) Our neighbors were simply overjoyed, but just between you and me, I think a few of them thought that I was Stephen King.)

Nevertheless, a wonderful time was had by all. The event was sort of a “pot luck” deal, meaning that each neighbor brought a different dish and some liquid refreshments tailored toward adults. (i.e., booze) Patty’s pasta was the hit of the party, but all of the food was good, and so was the company.

One neighbor told me that if I was ever in his area I should drive by his house.

Hey, what did he mean by that?

Well, buckeroos, I have some gardening to do, so I must bid you farewell.

Keep those cards and letters coming and remember never to squat with your spurs on!

Happy trails!

Doc Yanoff

September 28, 2012

QUEENS AND KINGS… ARE WONDERFUL THINGS!

GOOD AFTERNOON, FELLOW STALACITES!

I say stalacites, because like me, you are “hanging in there.” Uh oh, I’m off to a “rocky” start. What can I say? I have a “cavernous” mind. Well, I’m sure you get “the point.”

All right, no more mineral or stone jokes!

Who do I think I am, Chris Rock? Billy “Crystal?” I think not! (I had to get those two out of my system.)

Anyway….. I used the above heading (Queens and Kings) not to reference THE PRESLEY PLOT and The King, but to point out that I have been spending way too much time playing the cruel and devious game of Texas Hold ‘Em Poker. True, I have been winning loads of chips from my fellow gambling enthusiasts, but man does not live by “bread” alone. (Especially in France.)

I have made the “Final Table” (sounds like an autopsy thing) in the last 3 poker tournaments! (With little or no cheating I might add!) Naturally, my brilliant card play has resulted in a huge increase in my overall ranking and point accumulation. If I keep playing at this level, I will become a gambling legend throughout the Southwest and in two or three counties in rural Arkansas. Time will tell if I make the move to Vegas, but since I detest casinos, I doubt it. (No light, no sun, no fresh air, no fun!)

Yesterday was enjoyable and profitable for another reason….. I had a long overdue reunion with Terri Schexnayder and Helen Ginger, the two wonderful women who used to run the Writers’ League of Texas during its heyday. They looked marvelous, and as I expected, they are still accomplishing some wonderful things here in Austin. Those two are a class act! (More about the purpose of our meeting in a future blog….. but hold onto your hats, because it’s quite exciting!)

I also had a great meeting with Larry Brill, the former television newscaster and talented producer of “Writing Across Texas.” (Which in my humble opinion, was the best show ever produced in Austin. And I’m not just saying that because I was one of the interviewers!) Larry is also a class act, and in addition to his thriving media career, he is also an author! He has written several books and one day I expect to see his name on the New York Times Bestseller List. If any of you folks need a great media person, Larry Brill is the man to call. (Listed, of course, under Brill Media in the phone book.)

Finally, on this day, in 1957, the Long-Playing Album “ELVIS PRESLEY’ reached number one on the Billboard album chart and stayed there for six weeks. When you get a chance, ask someone under the age of 30 to describe a “Long Playing Album.” Trust me, you will have a good laugh! (One of my college students thought a turn table was something that a bird sat on!)

I think he was confusing “turn” with “tern.”

Well, in any case, it’s my turn to say adios! Have a great day and make somebody smile…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

September 24, 2012

ON THE ROAD AGAIN… AND AGAIN… AND AGAIN!

Good morning, family, friends, and faithful followers…..

As many of you know, being a writer means being a traveler. In order to be successful in today’s publishing world, an author must spend a lot of time, effort, and money promoting their own books. Advertising budgets have shrunk, and whatever funds are available go to well-established authors. Seldom do publishers invest big bucks in an up and coming author like me. (Thank God I married a rich woman!)

So…. in order to promote THE PRESLEY PLOT (and whatever books follow) I have devised a rather brilliant marketing plan! Modesty prevents me from elaborating on the compliments that I have already received from my gardener and mailman. However, I will share this concept with you now! Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce…..

The S.M.A.R.T. Program!

S ales

M arketing

A nd

R oad

T rips!

Each week, until I win the Pulitzer Prize (They can keep the Nobel Prize!) I will be driving to a different Texas town or city to promote THE PRESLEY PLOT. Upon my arrival, if there is no posse gathered in the square, I shall proceed to engage in some public speaking (pre-arranged) and hawk some books. Hopefully, I will sell plenty of copies, but even if sales are modest, I know that I will eat well. How do I know this, you ask?

Because my first S.M.A.R.T. Adventure will be in lovely Lockhart….. “The Barbecue Capital of Texas!” (If not the Free World!) Yes, I shall be joining several hundred thousand race car fanatics for the opening (or close to it) festivities of our brand new N.A.S.C.A.R. Race Track! I’m not thrilled with watching cars go round and round, but I understand that lots of folks will be in Lockhart in the next few weeks, so it seems like a good place to start my marketing program. (I just hope I don’t get “off track” when speaking!)

Frankly, I think Lockhart is a wonderful little town, and I’m sure they will adore THE PRESLEY PLOT. (After all, the book is a little “saucy!”) I just hope I don’t miss my “cue” when I’m down there!

Well, wish me luck. I will let you know how I enjoyed this “slice” of Americana!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

September 16, 2012

TWO THOUSAND IS TOO GRAND!

WELL, WE DID IT! (Actually, YOU did it.) Thanks to you we have just reached, and will soon surpass, a very important milestone.

Our blog, “BOOKS BY STEPHENGYANOFF,” now has over 2,000 followers!

Yep, you read that right! Over 2,000 dedicated followers!

Before I continue, I must thank all of the individuals, Elvis Fan Club Members, and my Linkedin connections for making this possible. So… thank you, thank you, thank you! Words cannot express my gratitude. I really appreciate your support, and I promise to keep the good stuff coming. (And the bad jokes, too!)

Incidentally, thanks to you, THE PRESLEY PLOT can now be found and purchased at Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Better World Books, Google Books, Tower Books, and on Kindle! Simply amazing! (Hollywood has also reached out, but I will share the details later….. when I have more to report.) Until then, just know that I am plugging along, and that I have just finished proof-reading my second mystery…. titled MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE. In fact, I am now halfway through my third manuscript, which is set in Texas, and titled DEVIL’S COVE. (No sense resting on my laurels…. or my hardys.)

Well, this will be a short missive, as I just wanted to share the news with you…. and let you know that things are proceeding nicely. Very nicely!

Until we meet again….. Take care and have a wonderful week.

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

September 14, 2012

FLEA MARKET MANIA!

SO….. a while back, as I was ruminating about my trip to France… and discussing some of the French masters, I signed out by saying “Au Renoir!” (Instead of “au revoir!)

Well….. apparently my harmless little joke set off a chain of cosmic events that culminated in a brief, but shining example of serendipity! (What the heck is he babbling about now?) First, my definition of “serendipity.” Which to me, is like searching for a needle in a haystack and finding the farmer’s daughter! In other words, incredible good luck. So, to what cosmic-like happening am I referring? (Fasten your seat belts, art lovers!)

Two days ago, as I was putting the finishing touches on my second mystery novel titled MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE, an actual RENOIR came on the market in a most unusual fashion! Several years before, a Virginia woman went to a local flea market (ostensibly to buy fleas) but ended up plunking down $7.00 for a little framed painting that she thought was a “poor copy” of Renoir’s painting style. Well, fast forward several years, and guess what? The woman now owns a bona fide work by Pierre-Auguste Renoir!! (I wonder which summer month Renoir liked the most?) Anyway, the French impressionist was very talented. (They say he did a great Elvis impersonation!) He was also a decent painter.

How decent you ask?

The Potomac auction house handling the sale is expecting a MINIMUM bid of….. $100,000! (And if you want more than the frame, bring a lot of loot!) Just between you and me, this little darling is going to fetch much, much more. How do I know? Because I know something others don’t. (This guy Renoir is dead! No more paintings from him!) By the way, in case you are interested, the painting goes on the auction block on September 29th. (No out-of-town checks will be accepted.)

For you cultured types, the painting dates back to 1879 (the year before James Garfield was elected President!) and is titled…… “Paysage Bords de Seine.” (Which in English, means “Landscape on the Banks of the Seine.”) Having just come from Paris, I can tell you that there are many banks along the Seine, but the exchange rate stinks!) I hope the French go back to using francs. (The Germans could then use sausage!) Hot dog! I would “relish” such a monetary shift.

And speaking of francs….. one of the few things that is known about the Renoir painting is that it was purchased by a French art gallery in June 1925 from a woman who called herself Madame Papillon for 5,000 francs. (Remember the movie called “Papillon?” Starring Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman?) Just coincidence? I think not, monsieur! Want to hear something even weirder? “Papillon” is the French word for butterfly! And Steve McQueen’s last name? Yeah, now you know where I’m going….. Butterfly McQueen! Just another coincidence? I think not again! (I’m spending too much time on the computer.)

Well, in all seriousness, I think this is a fascinating story. I will never, ever make fun of folks who go to the flea market again! (Unless they come back with a Rembrandt.)

Have a wonderful weekend! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

September 12, 2012

THE GOOD BOOK….. THE VERY GOOD BOOK!

No, my friends, not THE PRESLEY PLOT! The other Good Book. (The Holy Bible) I have some interesting news to report, and as you might imagine, it will be the “gospel truth!” (Surely you saw that one coming!) Well, in any case, check this out…..

A bible once owned by ELVIS PRESLEY (a Chrisitmas gift from his uncle way back in 1957) was recently sold at auction (in England) for the incredibly sum of ….. 59,000 Pounds!

So, you might wonder, how much would that be in U.S. currency? How does $94,000 sound? (I hope it sounds good, because that’s the amount.) My mom always said that the Scriptures can enrich the soul, but she never mentioned an exact number.

I had heard rumors about this auction when I was in London two weeks ago, but I had no idea that the worn and tattered Bible would fetch such a handsome price. The big numbers are usually reserved for books or manuscripts that are in good to excellent condition. The Presley Bible was in fair condition at best, but that just proves how valuable anything connected to the King can be. When I heard the news I wondered what two reels of never-before-heard songs by Elvis Presley might be worth. Just between you and me, that would be a good plot for a mystery novel. (Sounds a little familiar to me!)

Anyway, I understand that an American gentleman was the winning bidder, but the dear boy did not wish to be identified. (NO, it was not me!) However, I should mention that there were over 300 bidders involved at the auction and hundreds more bidding online. (Including a certain mystery author from Austin, Texas.) In case you’re curious, the Bible was leather-bound with gold lettering on the cover. Roughly 1600 pages long. And now for the best part….. there were at least 20-30 annotations by the King himself! (How cool!)

One of the entries written by ELVIS read….. “To judge a man by his weakest link or deed is like judging the power of the ocean by one wave.” (I always attributed this saying to Jacques Cousteau, but I guess I was wrong.) Nevertheless, it is a very deep thought and speaks volumes about the man himself. I wonder what he was referring to? I don’t suppose we will ever know for sure, but it’s quite intriguing.

Finally, in light of my September 4th blog (“I see London, I see France… “) you might be interested to know that one of the few items that did NOT sell was a pair of underwear once worn by Elvis himself! Would this be considered a “stain” on the event? The underwear was shown “briefly,” but alas, there were no bidders. Again, I do not wish to make a “big flap,” about this, but I am surprised. (I can’t think of any Fruit of the Loom jokes, so let’s move on.)

On my next blog post I have some exciting news about our blog membership level and all of the new outlets that are now offering THE PRESLEY PLOT.

If I were you, I would stay home, forget about work, grab a cold beer, and wait for the next post. (Welcome to my world!)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

August 31, 2012

PASTRIES… POPES… PASTIS… AND PRESLEY!

Oui Mademoiselles et Monsieurs, I am still wandering around France, searching for my lost jigger of salt, ala Jimmy Buffet who was wasting away in Margaritaville. Actually, I am not wasting away, but eating like a swine. There are 3 distinct levels of French cuisine lovers….. gourmets, gourmands, and me….. gluttons! This glutton loves mutton, but since they no longer serve this particular animal, I have been forced to make due with lamb and veal. (Both vicious brutes who ravage the countryside!)

Yesterday we were in Viviers, which is quite Medieval in its appearance, and is best known for containing the St. Vincent Cathedral….. the smallest cathedral in France. Despite its size, it is quite lovely. We were treated to an organ recital, and before you ask, it did NOT involve an organ grinder or a monkey. The organist had a powerful set of pipes, and he was kind enough to play some oldies from an album called “The Greatest Hits of the Monk-ees.” (Hey, there aren’t many good organ jokes….. that are clean.)

After the organ recital, we hoped aboard our “Petite Pooch,” which is French for “Little Greyhound,” and drove to a working truffle farm. In these parts, the truffle is known as the “black diamond,” and at $200 per pound, you can see why. I really enjoyed this part of the trip. The farm owner had a sweet doggie named Millie, who was trained to sniff out the truffles (which grow as a fungus on the roots of the trees) and then on command, dig down for the truffle and gently pick it up with her mouth and drop it at the farmer’s feet. Each time she found a truffle she got a treat, so I decided to try it, and to tell you the truth it’s a lot harder than it looked. Messy, too.

Later that same afternoon, we continued southward, driving to a truly amazing region where Chateauneuf du Pape (The Wine of the new Pope) is produced. Every inch of this region is covered with grape vines, and some of these vineyards produce the best and most expensive wines in France. Naturally, we got to sample some of the good stuff, and since I am now a member of the “Legion du Gluttony,” I purchased a bottle of red wine, which the Countess and I (and some carefully chosen friends) will consume this evening!

Does it strike you that I’ve been doing a lot of whining (wine-ing) this trip? God, it’s a good thing that I finished THE PRESLEY PLOT before I got here! At this point, I’m not sure If I can hold a pen steady!

This evening, as we dine on more vicious lamb, we set sail for Avignon…. once a Papal residence (7 different Popes lived there) . I’m not positive, but I think Avignon was also the home of Pope-Eye the Sailor. In any case, it is supposed to be a beautiful village, and the home of some of the world’s great bingo players. I shall, as they say in Provence, keep you informed of my whereabouts!

Au revoir!

The Monsignor of Mirth…… Monsieur Stephen Yanoff.

August 16, 2012

REMEMBERING THE KING…..

Well, as many of you know, today, Thursday, August 16th, marks the 35th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death. I find it difficult to believe that 35 years have gone by so quickly, but as they say, the calendar does not lie. I am happy to report that the fans who traveled to Memphis to honor The King received a very special surprise. (No, Elvis did not make a surprise appearance and file for Social Security!) However….. for the first time in history Priscilla Presley and Lisa Marie Presley appeared together at the annual gathering!

In case your wondering why my first mystery was THE PRESLEY PLOT (I have 4 more books in the works!) let me share some interesting details with you….. the annual Memphis tribute to Elvis Presley draws hundreds of thousands of fans and runs for the entire week! The tribute begins with a candlelight vigil at Graceland (which this year attracted 75,000 people!!) If you have ever wanted to visit Graceland, this is the time to go. Trust me, you will never forget the sight of so many people walking silently along, holding candles, weeping, and scraping wax from their fingers. It is a sight to behold! (As I said in Memphis, no other artist could ever hold a candle to Elvis!)

Oddly enough, when his “old flame” showed up the crowd was stunned…… I later discovered that her appearance was one of those last-minute decisions….but I’m sure everyone was thrilled to see the two ladies together for the first time. The coolest moment came when Lisa Marie (Elvis Presley’s daughter) told the assembled mass: “I’ve always avoided this because I felt it would be too emotional, but I really felt it was important to come down here tonight…… I love you very, very, very much.”

Lisa Marie was only 9 years old when her father died, and as she restated in Memphis, she actually thought that her famous father would be forgotten as the years marched on. OMG, was she wrong! Event organizers predicted no less than 500,000 visitors during the week of rememberance! As I have mentioned before, Elvis is selling more records today than when he was alive! (And believe me, that was a lot of records!) Graceland, from what I’ve seen, has become something of a national monument, and I recently read that it is the second most visited home in the United States! The first is the White House, but none of the occupants were ever as popular (or talented) as Elvis Presley. Granted, a few had similar parties, but none could match the fun and games that occurred at Graceland.

If you want to catch a glimpse of the total madness (in a fun sense) of Elvis Week, I suggest you log onto: http://www.elvis.com/elvisweekonline/

These folks are providing day to day coverage of the event, and you have to see it to believe it. (Imagine a city filled with Elvis impersonators!) They actually do a terrific job covering all of the hundreds of sub-events and special tributes that occur during the week, and if you enjoy the King’s music, this is the site for you. Of course, an even better source of information would be a copy of the best-selling mystery novel THE PRESLEY PLOT. I took the liberty of sending a signed copy of the book to both Priscilla and Lisa Marie, and I fully expect a “thank you call” from both of the ladies. (Hey, a boy can dream!) If I don’t hear from them, I will just assume that they have a lousy cell phone plan. (I doubt they’re short on funds, but you never know.)

Well, there you have it friends…… a sweet, but sad day for millions of fans around the world. If you’re my age (39 years old) or even close to it, take a moment to reflect on the music of this incredible man. In truth, there will never be another like him. Nobody will ever come close to the King. (Although the Beatles are certainly up there.) Of course, they were four distinct talents…. and Elvis was solo.

I wonder if he is lonesome tonight? I hope not. I doubt it.

Long live the King!

Doc Yanoff