November 30, 2025

PILGRIM’S PROGRESS!

HOWDY PILGRIMS! (Do you think John Wayne said this to the 102 passengers who arrived on the Mayflower in 1620?) You never know. In any case, I hope you and yours had a delightful Thanksgiving. We had a large family get-together and a big turkey. (I’m not referring to myself here!) Our feast was wonderful and during dinner I entertained my fellow pilgrims with some edifying information about the holiday we were celebrating.

For instance… did you know that turkey was probably not on the menu at the first feast? (Too hard to catch or kill, and a pain in the butt to cook.) In all likelihood, the pilgrims and Indians ordered take-out. (whatever they could take out of the stream) Maybe they had Chinese. You never know. Nowadays, Americans eat about 46 million turkeys on Thanksgiving… and 50 million pumpkin pies! Gooble gooble!

Would you like to guess which US president made Thanksgiving a national holiday? (Here we have a number of turkeys to choose from!) If you said Abe Lincoln, you’re right! (Biden and Trump were the first to offer a pardon to every turkey in the country!) Do you think that was a “fowl” joke?

Lest I forget, I should say a word or two about last Friday’s football game between Texas A&M and the University of Texas. As some of you know, I hold 3 degrees from the A&M university system, but I’m not bitter about losing to the drug-enhanced, testosterone-filled thugs who play for the Longhorns. Not bitter in the least. Actually, I feel sorry for U.T. After the big game, some Aggie broke into the University of Texas library and stole the book! The police recovered the book, but all the pages had been colored in by the thief! But, hey, I’m not bitter.

On a more uplifting note, my new historical masterpiece, titled, WONDER OF THE WEST, won another gold medal this past week for “Outstanding U.S. History Book of 2025.” The award was presented by the NIEA, which is the National Indie Excellence Awards. (now in its 19th year!) I am greatly honored to receive the gold medal, and I truly appreciate the substantial financial remuneration. (i.e., loot) If you happen to find yourself in Washington, D.C. next week stop by the Hay Adams Hotel (near the White House) and say hello. (I’ll probably be in the lobby, signing books and drinking martinis.) Of course, I may have to testify at some hearing while I’m in town. You never know.

In closing, I hope some of you were able to watch a portion of the Netflix show “Death by Lightning.” (The story about President Garfield’s life and death.) Some of this sordid tale was based upon my enthralling history book, titled, THE SECOND MOURNING. Not to sound arrogant, but had they followed my entire book I think the show would have been much more interesting. The assassin, Charles Guiteau, was actually the more fascinating historical figure. Alas, I do not make the final decisions.

Well, my dear friends, I shall now take my leave…. Have a wonderful week and remember that Christmas is only 25 days away! (also remember my shirt and pants sizes… just in case you’re inclined to buy me a gift! Hey, you never know!) I’m only kidding about the clothes. I much prefer cash!

Take care and love to all,

Doc Yanoff

November 23, 2014

LET’S TALK TURKEY!

GOBBLE GOBBLE. (Which is “turkish” for Happy Thanksgiving!) By the way, wasn’t George Gobble a great comedian? Some folks think we should combine Election Day and Thanksgiving, since they both include a lot of turkeys. (And let’s face it, our politicians do gobble up our taxes!) While some politicians are “for the birds,” the birds are for all of us, and a reminder that we have a lot to be thankful for. Even though I make jokes about the political scene, I would be the first to admit that we are blessed to live in a free country where our votes determine who serves, and for how long. When you start traveling around the world, you quickly realize just how special America really is, and how lucky we are to live in such a glorious place.

This year, my wife is making our family an “international feast.” (Since you asked, that would be Turkey, sitting in Greece, and after you take a bite, you are Russian to the bathroom!) My bride is a graduate of the Lucretia Borgia Culinary Institute, so every meal is a treat. We have our main course in the dining room, but she insists on serving dessert in the bathroom. (What can I say, she loves pie a la commode.)

Speaking of hazardous places, I noticed that the Oak Ridge Nuclear Facility was in the news this week. (security concerns) If you recall, I wrote about the facility in my first mystery novel, THE GRACELAND GANG. Since I am now an expert on all things nuclear, let me give you some advice: never trust an atom. (They make up everything.) Did you know that the atom bomb was dropped from a plane called the Ebola Gay? (Talk about over-kill!)

So what else is new? I recently learned that Cynthia Brian, the lovely and talented host of “Be The Star You Are,” has a not-so-secret connection to CCRR! (No, not Creedence Clearwater Revival.) Believe it or not, the letters stand for: California Champion Rooster Raiser! Now I know why she thinks Henny Youngman is so funny! And yes, Rooster Cogburn is her favorite lawman! Cynthia is so smart that she actually knows why the chicken crossed the road! I must remember to ask her which came first, the chicken or the egg.

Jack Drucker, the host of The Book Club Radio Program, is producing a special Christmas broadcast. He will actually be interviewing an up-and-coming author named Charlie Dickens. (Charlie wrote a book about one of his girlfriends in London. I think it’s called “A Christmas Carol.”) Anyway, in honor of the holiday season, he will also be re-broadcasting both of my legendary radio interviews! I will publish the details as soon as I have them. (The interviews were among the most listened to of the year, and we discussed DEVIL’S COVE and then THE SECOND MOURNING.)

For those of you that might have seen the modest article about me in the Chicago Tribune, I would like to say that the rumors are true! I am halfway through the fifth “Adam Gold Mystery,” which will be titled: “A RUN FOR THE MONEY.” The story takes place in the South, primarily in Richmond, Charleston, and Lexington, Kentucky. This time, Adam Gold will confront grave robbers and horse thieves in pursuit of strife, liberty, and the happiness thing. I am thoroughly enjoying the book, which should be finished some time this spring.

Well, in closing, let me wish all of my family and friends a wonderful Thanksgiving. I do hope you are able to be with the ones you love, and that you have a splendid, and truly American holiday. Please remember not to serve those nasty cranberry globs, mincemeat pies, or those damn celery sticks. (Trust me, nobody likes that stuff!) See you next Sunday! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S. There just might be a photograph attached to this blog!

November 21, 2012

GOBBLE GOBBLE!

HAPPY HOLIDAY! Did you know that the very first Thanksgiving was held in a car? Yep, in a PLYMOUTH! (The Pilgrims couldn’t afFORD anything else and they didn’t want to DODGE the party!) You can’t make these things up, folks. (Well, actually you can, but I won’t go there.) Anyway, a lot of Americans think this wonderful holiday has something to do with Captain John Smith and his main squeeze Pocahontas, but that is simply not the case. I will admit that Captain Smith (almost) lost his head over her, but that’s only because he was rude. (He kept pointing at her during dinner and then, after some cheap corn whiskey, he tried to poke her with his index finger. You should never,ever, poke a hontas!

As you can see, I know a great deal about indigent people. (Poor Indians) Did you know that Pocahontas was the daughter of Powhatan? Did you know that her uncle lived in New York City? (Yeah, his name was MANHATTAN) Did you know that one of her descendants was Nancy Reagan? (This is actually true.) But enough about her….. let’s get to the great holiday known for peace, love, and wonderful sales at the mall.

Interestingly, seven other nations celebrate THANKSGIVING! (Originally a day to celebrate a good harvest.) I, of course, celebrate life, liberty, family, friends, and steadily increasing sales of THE PRESLEY PLOT. (Do I have my priorities straight, or what?) We can all thank (no pun intended) FDR for making the day official. At his urging, Congress agreed to the 4th Thursday in November. FDR was an interesting fellow. Did you know that he was the first president to play Texas Hold ‘Em Poker? Sure, don’t you remember the NEW DEAL?

He also started the tradition of “pardoning” a turkey. (To make sure the herd continued.) This year our president intends to pardon Susan Rice! (Hey, come on, that was funny!)

Thanksgiving at our house in very, well, international. How so? We have a TURKEY, sitting in GREECE, and there are people with ROMAN hands and RUSSIAN fingers waiting for the bird to arrive. Last year my wife burnt the stuffing, which stuck to the bird. I had to kick the stuffing out of that fowl weather friend, but we did have a tasty meal. By the way, speaking of reasons to celebrate….. TODAY WAS THE BIG DAY! On this day, in 1955, ELVIS signed his contract with RCA, which included all of the famous sound tracks from Sun Studios in Memphis. I’m not sure if Elvis sold many records (ha ha) but I do know that the contract stipulated that the King produce eight sides per year, and that he received a 5% royalty. (Which is half of what I get from Aberdeen Bay Publishing.)

Well, I must go do some prep work for the big meal, so I will say goodbye until we meet again. I have sooooo much to be thankful for this year, and I know that most of you do too. We have a bunch of loved ones coming for dinner and when they all get here, I intend to remind everyone that our Founding Father (George Washington) put it best when he said that our young country should use the day “as a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favours of Almighty God.”

Well said, General! Be grateful! Be thankful! Be well!

Happy Thanksgiving and love to all…..

Doc Yanoff (The Prince of Puritans!)