ALL YOU REALLY NEED IS HEART!  WHEN THE ODDS ARE SAYIN’ YOU’LL NEVER WIN, THAT’S WHEN THE GRIN SHOULD START!  (YOU’VE GOTTA HAVE HEART!)

As most of you know, these are the lyrics to “You gotta have Heart,” a wonderful tune from the Broadway show, DAMN YANKEES.  (I myself have often been called this name!)  Nonetheless, the song was written by Richard Adler, who I had the pleasure of meeting when I was a fledging playwright in New York City.  (After a few tough years, I became a “fleeting” playwright!)  The great Mr. Adler (who passed away in 2012) also composed tunes for The Pajama Game.  So…. I think the above melody is rather appropriate for tomorrow’s holiday, and on “that note” I shall now wish all of my blog followers an early (but sincere) HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

I know I’m a little quick on the draw (so was Rembrandt) but I will be VERY busy tomorrow and probably too exhausted to write a clever blog.  As you can imagine, a man in my position (usually horizontal) receives thousands of cards and letters from female women of the opposite sex on Valentine’s Day.  (All right, maybe not thousands.)  However, due to my undeniable charm and modesty, the ladies are quite fond of me and insist on sending me chocolates and flowers.  (Occasionally, chocolate flowers, too.)  No doubt I will be on the phone (speaking to old flames) most of the day, so I will take this opportunity to share some thoughts with thee……

Did you know that more than 1 billion Valentine’s Day greeting cards are sent out each year?  (Most are sent to some mystery writer in Austin.)  Hey, I’m a real card.

Women purchase 85 percent of all Valentine’s Day cards.  (Oddly enough, 85% of the ones I receive are also from women.)   Don’t ask about the others.  None of your business.

Valentine’s Day is named in honor of St. Valentine, a Roman martyr.  (Anyone who dates a lot is definitely a martyr in my book!)  The old boy died in prison, but before he left earth, he left the jailer’s daughter a sweet note….. which he signed, “From Your Valentine.”  (True story)   Thus began a wonderful tradition, and a way for the Hallmark Card Company to make a very tidy profit.  Had St. Valentine been Jewish (well, it’s possible) there would be no holiday.  Jewish people cannot be kept in jail.  (They eat “locks!”)  Oy vay, what an old joke!

Finally, just in case you ever get on the show “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”……….  here is some final worthless trivia………. Cupid (the dude with the bow and arrow) is often associated with Valentine’s Day because he was the son of Venus.  (The Roman goddess of love and beauty.)  Hence, the modern expression that “men are from Mars, women are from Venus.”    I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I do not like the fact that we are named after a candy bar.  (Ever if we are sweet and gooey from time to time!)

Actually, there was another “Mars.”  (The Roman god of war.)  His festival was held in March, which as you can see, was sort of named after him.  Since Valentine’s Day is celebrated in February (except in Arkansas, which only recognizes ten of the months) we see that once again, women have dominated the calendar and always come first.  Ah well, such is life.  (Just for the record, but do NOT share this with any chick, January in named after Janus (a guy god) in Roman mythology.  So we are numero uno again!

I just realized that we are discussing “misters” and “myths.”    (How funny.)

Well, students, that’s about enough of this stuff for one day.  I do hope that each and every one of you finds love tomorrow.  (or the day after.)  I would advise all of my faithful blog followers to remember the lyrics of another great song……….   “If you can’t be with the one you love, and there are no witnesses or security cameras, love the one you’re with.”  ***

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!     Love to all,  Doc Yanoff

*** “Love The One You’re With”    (Music by Stephen Stills.  Lyrics by Bill Clinton.)