May 18, 2025

SPRING HAS SPRUNG!

So what’s going on with the weather? The first day of summer in 2025 is supposed to be June 20, but do not be fooled by this arbitrary and capricious date! The last few days (five or six, mind you) have been real scorchers, one hundred or more degrees each day! (And it’s only May!) How hot has it been, you ask? Well, it was so hot that my water bed began to boil! I saw a funeral procession pull through a Dairy Queen! Texas cows have begun to give evaporated milk!

All right, enough jokes about the heat. How was your Mother’s Day? Mine was a little unusual. I took my wife to San Marcos for a hot air balloon trip, but the dang place was out of business. The owner was filling his balloons with COLD AIR, so his business never got off the ground. (Ouch!) Being a thoughtful hubby, I offered my wife some Kashmir. She thought I meant cashmere. Foolish girl. She missed an good trip.

Despite the heat, I have been diligently pursuing my infamous writing career, and I am thrilled to announce that the 7th installment in the “Adam Gold Mystery Series” has just been published and is now available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, and leading bookstores across the nation.

The newest tale is titled, THE LONG HARD FALL, and has already received some rave reviews from the usual culprits at the N.Y. Times and elsewhere. In this book, Adam Gold, preeminent insurance investigator, is compelled to dive into the dark and dangerous world of shady builders in South Florida — and confront Russian mobsters, Chinese Intelligence, and Haitian street gangs.

If you’re looking for a great summer read, then this is the book for you. Please note that all royalties will be spent promoting my frivolous lifestyle and tequila consumption. On this you have my word.

Well, I hope you enjoyed today’s pun-filled blog. Do you realize how hard it is to explain puns to a kleptomaniac? Think about it. Those poor souls take things literally. (Just saying)

And on that note… Have a salubrious (and mildly salacious) week, and remember to be nice to your grand-children. (You will need them to smuggle alcohol into the nursing home!) Take care and we shall chat again soon. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S. If you will scroll down, you will see what the new book cover looks like.

September 22, 2024

MEDITERRANEAN MEANDERING! (Final Chapter)

Do you realize that it has taken three blog posts to fully describe my recent voyage? Would you like to know why? No, not because I’m verbose! Because the Mediterranean Sea is so darn big. How big, you ask? Well, it’s surrounded by 22 countries and has a coastline of almost 29,000 miles! (Which, by the way, is longer than the distance around the Earth. Which is 24, 901 miles.)

So, just to finish our last nautical summary, we left Turkey and set sail for the enchanting (and expensive) islands of Santorini, Mykonos, Crete, and Symi. (My personal favorite) Amazingly, there were no cruise ships in port, so we pretty much had the islands to ourself. I even swam topless. Santorini has the best views, Mykonos the prettiest jewelry, Crete the most beaches and wonderful olive oil, and Symi is the perfect place to relax and enjoy the beauty of Greece. We drove all over Crete, which is about 160 miles long, and were simply amazed by how lovely the island looked. (Get this, there are over 30 million olive trees on Crete!) By and large, the Cretans (yes, that’s what they’re called) are super friendly and love American tourists. After a few more islands, it was back to Athens, which is one of my favorite cities to explore. The locals seemed to understand each other, but it was Greek to me.

I’m grateful that the weather and waves were incredibly calm, but after two weeks at sea it was nice to get back on terra firma. (which sounds like the name of a small Italian village, non e vero?) So, now that I’m back in the saddle, what else is new? Well, as you may have heard, my new historical masterpiece, titled, WONDER OF THE WEST, recently won the silver medal for “Best U.S. History Book of 2024” at the New York Book Festival. We are toying with the idea of attending the awards ceremony, but first we have to purchase a couple of bulletproof vests and a small thermonuclear device. Better safe than sorry, right?

Before I forget, I’d like to thank my good friend (and unofficial publicist) Loyd Smith for arranging for me to speak at the Lakeway Men’s Club last week. Turn out was great, and I sold every book I had! I love to speak at this club, which is comprised of some great and intelligent folks. The topic of my presentation was John C. Fremont, and we had some great questions during the Q&A session. Thanks again to Loyd and Tom Cain for setting this up.

Well, I think I’m off to Bass Pro Shops. I thought I might take a look at some fishing rods. (I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.) The last time I went shopping there, I couldn’t find any camouflage clothing. I looked everywhere, but no dice. Go figure.

Today I shall leave you with a riddle (compliments of Loyd Smith): How do lawyers sleep? Answer: They lie on one side, then the other side! Amen, brothers and sisters. Take care and have a felicific week. (I’m afraid you’ll have to look up that word!)

Love to all, Doc Yanoff

**** PHOTOS ATTACHED ****

April 28, 2024

WONDER OF THE WEST! (PART I)

I know what you’re thinking….. Isn’t that the title of my new (and long overdue) historical masterpiece? Well, yes, but it’s also a fitting title for my recently completed exploration. I just had the good fortune to spend a couple of weeks out West, touring several of our magnificent national parks. Our great adventure began in Scottsdale, where we stayed at the lovely Westin Resort Hotel and treated ourselves to a Mexican fiesta at La Hacienda, a culinary gem inside the Fairmont Hotel. It took two full days to absorb and digest the prickly pear margaritas, but “agave” they were worth it!

My only complaint about the Westin were the soft, fluffy towels they offered to guests. (They were very difficult to stuff into our luggage.) Day one of the official trip brought us to colorful Sedona, and then it was off to the Grand Canyon, a modest little crevice in Northern Arizona. The word “spectacular” doesn’t even begin to describe this spot. Believe it or not, the canyon is 277 miles long, 10 miles wide, and over one mile deep! (Which makes the canyon bigger than two of our states, Rhode Island and Delaware!)

After a scrumptious dinner at El Tovar Restaurant on the South Rim, we spent the night at Kachina Lodge, then left the following morning for Glen Canyon Dam and an evening dinner cruise on Lake Powell. The next day was spent on the Navajo Nation, where we hiked through an incredible “slot canyon,” a long, narrow channel with sheer rock walls that are typically eroded sandstone. While we were meandering around a tribal village, my wife discovered a jewelry shop (surprise, surprise) and forced me to buy her an “authentic” turquoise trinket. (At least I “Hopi” it was authentic, but you “Navajo!”) To tell you the truth, I had “reservations” about those joke!

At this juncture, I would like to reiterate that the best part of any trip are the new friendships you make — and this trip was no exception. We met wonderful folks from Nebraska, Florida, California, North Carolina, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Missouri, and New Mexico. They were all terrific companions and we will remember them for years to come. (Especially Harry, who took over 700 photographs during our trip!)

The remainder of our adventure will be discussed in next week’s blog, so be sure to revisit next Sunday. (Or the Sunday after that) In the meantime, keep smiling and remember what St. Augustine said about travel: “The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.”

Don’t forget to scroll down and check out some of my photographs. (They are all “grand!”)

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

December 11, 2016

SWEDES SIMMER & STEW OVER SONGWRITER SNUB!

How’s that for alliteration? By the way, alliteration has nothing to do with dogs or puppies. (Just saying.) I posted this headline to remind my blog followers that, despite my best intentions, I could not resolve the ongoing dispute between the Nobel Prize Committee and Bob Dylan. (Who sent a lousy note of thanks, instead of showing up for the ceremony.) I offered to fly to Sweden and accept the loot, but they refused to show me the money. I even offered to pretend that I was a (more) famous writer, such as Dylan Thomas. Nope, that wasn’t good enough. Marshal Dylan was out, too. (Do you think James Arness drove a Dodge?) Well, you can’t say that I didn’t try.

Now you know why I prefer the Danish. (Some good pastry jokes here!) I still say that the only good thing about Sweden was Inger Stevens. (And you folks know what happened to that poor girl!) Anyway, I’m not bitter, I just sound it. Personally, I’d rather have that Beverly Hills Award I mentioned last week. (No Lutefisk at our awards dinner!) Time to move on, but don’t be surprised if I ask for a recount. (Everyone else is!)

So what else is new? Well, for one thing, my next book tour (and rum swigging adventure) has finally been announced in the trade papers. However, you don’t have to trade papers to learn my itinerary. Here it is (roughly) subject to final approval from the Dept. of Homeland Insecurity: First, the Cayman Cookout on January 12-15 (featuring the infamous chef, Anthony Mundane) is still questionable, BUT I will definitely have a presence (or some presents) on the following Caribbean islands…. Grand Turk, Puerto Rico, St. Bart’s, Antigua, Tortola, and the Dominican Republic.

All of my (somewhat) brilliant mystery novels, and my (semi) interesting nonfiction masterpiece, THE SECOND MOURNING, will be available at all of the book festivals scheduled for 2017. If you find yourselves in the Caribbean (well, not IN the Caribbean, but near it) you should attend an event. These festivals are really quite interesting (great food and drink) and you will be helping the local economy. (Not to mention enriching me!) Jeez, I said not to mention that! What’s wrong with this blog editor? Anyway, it should be great fun, and another wonderful tax deduction, I mean, literary event.

Speaking of great fun, the winner of our last trivia contest was Judith Freeman of Bozeman, Montana. (Just south of Muleshoe and a little north of Bellylint) Just kidding, I know where Bozeman is, and it is quite lovely. Ms. Freeman gave the correct answer to the following question: “What was the name of Jesse James’ favorite horse?” Her answer? The outlaw had 4 favorites! (Another trick question!) Not only did she get the number right, but she also knew their names! (Katie, Skyrocket, Stonewall, and Red Fox.) Congratulations, and she will now receive a $300 gift card to Home Depot. (God, my blog followers are soooooo smart!)

And since we are on the subject of “congratulations,” allow me to congratulate Mr. Adam Zell, my hard-working, Pittsburg-Steeler-Loving, son-in law, who recently received the Diamond Club Award from Realty Austin (one of our city’s most prominent realtors) for selling over….. (drum roll, please!)….. $10,000,000 in real estate! We are very proud of Adam, and this is truly a great accomplishment. (But slightly below marrying my daughter and producing Miss Goldie!) If the boy was a Yankee fan, he’d be perfect!

Well, dear friends, I must start packing for my next appearance. I have some special events lined up in Houston this coming weekend, and a HUGE party to attend on Wednesday and Thursday. (Thursday is our annual Steiner Ranch Poker & Pilsner Party. Thanks to the generosity of Rich & Sharon Walker (two other great realtors in Austin) we will be celebrating a decade of poker decadence and downright dependency! (I’m really starting to enjoy this alliteration thing.)

We shall chat again upon thy return! (assuming I can find my way out of Houston!) Until then, be well, and God Bless… Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

*** God-willing, there might be a photo or two attached to this blog!