AHOY MATES! SHIVER ME TIMBERS (IF YOU’RE COLD) AND HOIST YOUR PATARD! (WHATEVER THAT IS)….. GREETINGS FROM THE LOVELY CARIBBEAN ISLAND OF….. ST. THOMAS! My pirate gang and I have landed in Charlotte Amalie, the crown jewel of the Virgin Islands. (I haven’t met any Virgins, but there are lots of nice folks willing to take your money for this and that) We (the pirate gang) have rented a gorgeous villa up on a lush tropical hillside, overlooking Cruz Bay. As you might imagine, the view and the jungle-like scenery are simply fantastic. Lush green hills, million of colorful tropical flowers and plants, blue sky, and aquamarine marine water! OMG this place is paradise! (Much nicer than the Jersey shore)
The wife and I have a huge first floor suite, with a po0l just outside the front door. All of the rooms in the villa are decorated with polished mahagony wood, which is somewhat immune to the elements down here. By now you’re probably wondering about my schedule, eh? Well, when I’m not working on book number four (RANSOM ON THE RHONE) my typical day goes like this….. Sleep late, drink some wonderful island coffee, drive to one the drop-dead beautiful beaches on the island, swim and snorkel, get some sun, dry off, head for some delicious lunch place, eat mahi mahi burger, drink one or two Carib beers, one rum drink, take nap, wake up slowly, get dressed, head for dinner on the bayfront, stuff myself again, more rum, short walk, stumble back to villa, take Alka-Seltzer, go to sleep. Repeat in morning.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking….. living the life of a famous alcolholic sun-worshipping writer ain’t so easy. (All right, it’s very easy, but the sun tan lotion is rather expensive down here.) In case you’re wondering, the restaurants on the island are incredible. Lots of very fresh fish, and some marvelous ethnic restaurants. (Cajun, Creole, French, etc.) Each feast is accompanied by a copious amount of rum, washed down with some surprisingly good local beers. If I remember right, we have not had a bad meal yet.
Tonight we six are heading for a famous Spanish tavern frequented by pirates, outlaws, scoundrels, scofflaws, and politicians. The house specialty is lobster paella, which is usually served with homemade sangria. This could be a long night for yours truly! By the way, do you know how much a pirate pays for corn on the cob? That’s right, a “buck-an-ear!” (I think the rum is starting to affect my brain!)
Speaking of things that have affected my brain, I would like to thank the Delray Beach Book Club for purchasing 100 copies of MURDER ON MAIDEN LANE. This was a very generous gesture, and one that is greatly appreciated. I would also like to thank the Boca Raton Book Club (the Royal Palm Yacht Club Chapter) for inviting me to speak to their group. I spent a wonderful afternoon in one of the most beautiful neighborhoods in America, and I also managed to peddle 50 copies of THE PRESLEY PLOT. What a great couple of days in sunny Florida!
Well, my dear family and friends, stay well and please do not worry about me….. I still have 8 more days of Caribbean fun on the agenda, plenty of sunscreen, and four bottles of Ron Flor de Cana Rum! Life is good! (Where did I put those limes?) Love to all…..
Capt. Jolly Roger Yanoff, The Terror of Tortola!
Eat some conch fritters at Iggies Bar at Bolongo Bay. You’ll thank me later.