A Run For The Money

GOBBLE GOBBLE. (Which is “turkish” for Happy Thanksgiving!) By the way, wasn’t George Gobble a great comedian? Some folks think we should combine Election Day and Thanksgiving, since they both include a lot of turkeys. (And let’s face it, our politicians do gobble up our taxes!) While some politicians are “for the birds,” the birds are for all of us, and a reminder that we have a lot to be thankful for. Even though I make jokes about the political scene, I would be the first to admit that we are blessed to live in a free country where our votes determine who serves, and for how long. When you start traveling around the world, you quickly realize just how special America really is, and how lucky we are to live in such a glorious place.

This year, my wife is making our family an “international feast.” (Since you asked, that would be Turkey, sitting in Greece, and after you take a bite, you are Russian to the bathroom!) My bride is a graduate of the Lucretia Borgia Culinary Institute, so every meal is a treat. We have our main course in the dining room, but she insists on serving dessert in the bathroom. (What can I say, she loves pie a la commode.)

Speaking of hazardous places, I noticed that the Oak Ridge Nuclear Facility was in the news this week. (security concerns) If you recall, I wrote about the facility in my first mystery novel, THE GRACELAND GANG. Since I am now an expert on all things nuclear, let me give you some advice: never trust an atom. (They make up everything.) Did you know that the atom bomb was dropped from a plane called the Ebola Gay? (Talk about over-kill!)

So what else is new? I recently learned that Cynthia Brian, the lovely and talented host of “Be The Star You Are,” has a not-so-secret connection to CCRR! (No, not Creedence Clearwater Revival.) Believe it or not, the letters stand for: California Champion Rooster Raiser! Now I know why she thinks Henny Youngman is so funny! And yes, Rooster Cogburn is her favorite lawman! Cynthia is so smart that she actually knows why the chicken crossed the road! I must remember to ask her which came first, the chicken or the egg.

Jack Drucker, the host of The Book Club Radio Program, is producing a special Christmas broadcast. He will actually be interviewing an up-and-coming author named Charlie Dickens. (Charlie wrote a book about one of his girlfriends in London. I think it’s called “A Christmas Carol.”) Anyway, in honor of the holiday season, he will also be re-broadcasting both of my legendary radio interviews! I will publish the details as soon as I have them. (The interviews were among the most listened to of the year, and we discussed DEVIL’S COVE and then THE SECOND MOURNING.)

For those of you that might have seen the modest article about me in the Chicago Tribune, I would like to say that the rumors are true! I am halfway through the fifth “Adam Gold Mystery,” which will be titled: “A RUN FOR THE MONEY.” The story takes place in the South, primarily in Richmond, Charleston, and Lexington, Kentucky. This time, Adam Gold will confront grave robbers and horse thieves in pursuit of strife, liberty, and the happiness thing. I am thoroughly enjoying the book, which should be finished some time this spring.

Well, in closing, let me wish all of my family and friends a wonderful Thanksgiving. I do hope you are able to be with the ones you love, and that you have a splendid, and truly American holiday. Please remember not to serve those nasty cranberry globs, mincemeat pies, or those damn celery sticks. (Trust me, nobody likes that stuff!) See you next Sunday! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S. There just might be a photograph attached to this blog!

Really? What about Mt. Rushmore? What’s that, paper mache? I think not. (Which is what my teachers used to say about me!) Anyway, I was recently watching the marvelous PBS series on the Roosevelts, and I started thinking about lasting legacies. Closest I ever got was a rash in high school, but that’s a long story. (And I’m not a “rash person!”) Where was I? Oh yes, Mt. Rushmore… So can you name the 4 American Presidents that are depicted in stone? I will list them at the end of this blog. (No cheating!)

The main sculptor was an interesting fellow named Gutzon Borglum. His parents were Danish emigrants. (He became a great dane!) My parents loved danish, but I digress. Borglum learned his craft from his dad, which made him a “chip off the old block.” He became a great sculptor, but he was a bit of a chisler. (No surprise, there.) Actually, he hardly ever used a chisel. Believe it or not, 90% of Mt. Rushmore was created with dynamite! It took Borglum 14 years to finish his project, but what else was there to do in South Dakota? (North Dakota is a different story.)

Speaking of things to do….. Don’t forget that yours truly will be one of the featured authors at the upcoming gala event called “Evening With The Authors.” This glorious event is being held to benefit the Dr. Eugene Clark Library of Lockhart, Texas. I will be representing the “mystery category,” and will be joined by other best-selling authors, including Sarah Bird, James Magnuson, and Mark Twain. (Please Note: Mr. Twain has not formally accepted the invitation. Knowing Twain, he is probably busy de-composing!) If you need tickets, contact: http://EveningWithTheAuthors.com

So what else is new? Well, for one thing, archaeologists have recently announced the discovery of Richard III’s body! British archaeologists (working with trained prairie dogs) uncovered his corpse and have positively identified his remains! As you might recall, King Ricardo suffered from scoliosis of the spine. (Please, no jokes about him bending over backwards to please people!) He was killed at the battle of Bosworth in 1485, but before he died, he supposedly said, “My kingdom for a horse!”

In my opinion, he should have said, “My kingdom for a hearse,” but what do I know? In any case, it’s a wonderful discovery, make no bones about it. (Ouch!)

You know, I’m thinking about getting a dog and naming him “Five Miles.” That way I can tell people that I walk five miles every day. Incidentally, the PBS program pointed out that Theodore Roosevelt was a ruff rider. He must have charged up San Juan Hill on a greyhound.

Have you noticed that my writing schtick resembles the Marx Brothers? Well, that’s because my first full-length play was produced at the University of Texas when I was serving as their playwright-in-residence, and at that time, my ONLY goal was to follow in the footsteps of the gentlemen who wrote the original Marx Brothers movie scripts. (Who also began as playwrights….. George S. Kaufman, S.J. Perelman, etc.) Today, amazingly, is the anniversary of that great literary production! (The play, which was later published, was titled, A KNIGHT’S MIDSUMMER DREAM.) My, how time flies.

And since we’re on the subject of flies, did I ever mention that my wife makes meals fit for a king? (Here, King… Here, King… ) Just kidding, dear. Put down the rolling pin. If she hits me on the head, she’ll make a bad impression!

Finally, I should mention that my poker career has re-ignited. I made it to the final table at last week’s Steiner Ranch World Championship Invitational Poker Tournament & Beer Festival. Not only did I win a (very) small fortune, but I sold several copies of THE SECOND MOURNING!

Well, I must leave thee now, as my breakfast awaits. As I close, I am staring, rather fondly, at a sweet little tart. (My wife is out of town!) Have a wonderful week, and remember to laugh frequently! Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S. The four American Presidents on Mt. Rushmore are: Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt.

Books By Stephen G. Yanoff

LET’S TALK TURKEY!

NOTHING IS SET IN STONE!