WAIT, don’t log out! I promise not to sing a James Taylor song! I actually enjoy his music, but that performance with Secretary Kerry was, well, a bit “off-key.” Well, I guess it could have been worse. Just imagine if Kerry wanted to sing the chorus. Personally, since they were serenading the French, I think they should have picked a more appropriate song. I was thinking of an Elvis Presley tune, his 1961 hit, SURRENDER! Of course, the French being French, they would have undoubtedly chosen a Rolling Stone’s song. (Let’s Spend The Night Together.)
Speaking of lame politicians, the rumors are true! I have been asked to run for the school board! (Fitting, since I was always bored in school.) I told the selection committee that I was unqualified to run for public office. (I have never been arrested, my wife won’t let me have a girlfriend, and I only accept bribes of Kentucky Bourbon.) Furthermore, I paraphrased the words of that great statesman, William T. Sherman, and told them: “If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve. If I am forced to serve, I want a big tip.” They haven’t gotten back to me yet, so your children are still safe.
A new study has found that watching Fox News can make you more conservative and watching MSNBC can make you more liberal. And watching CNN can make you think that no plane has ever safely reached its destination!
And since we’re on the subject of safe destinations, last night’s gala birthday dinner party at Chateau Talbott was a complete culinary and winery success! Guests were treated (they didn’t charge this time) to a marvelous rendition of coffee-rubbed pot roast served over Alabama cheese grits. Naturally, I regaled the entourage with some delightful tales of my misspent youth, and several of the ladies actually remained in a conscious state during my oration.
We were celebrating the joint birthdays (no, NOT that type of joint) of Judge Susan and the Queen of Board Games, Miss Jaimie. The ladies are aging marvelously and still retain the lustre and glow of vitality, despite years of making out and dirty dancing. They were both thrilled that the new Congress will have 104 women. (Now you know why they call it the Washington “Mall!”)
Still freezing in most parts of the country. I suggested that they ship hot soup in the Keystone Pipeline. No response from the EPA. Hey, did you see that Dallas had a 3.5 magnitude earthquake? Some folks are blaming fracking in Oklahoma, but I think it was probably caused by Governor Christie jumping up and down after the Cowboys football victory. Just saying.
For those of you that are sick and tired of reading those lousy books by Grisham, Patterson, and King (sounds like a dang law firm) cheer up! I will be initialing the final publishing contracts for my new book on Monday morning! (Tomorrow.) Shortly thereafter, you will be able to drop everything you’re doing (which I don’t mind, unless you’re feeding a baby) and run over to the computer to order your copy of RANSOM ON THE RHONE! Hopefully, I will attach a few photographs of my visit to the city of Lyon at the end of this blog post. (Lyon is in the center of France, and is thought to be the culinary capital of the country.)
In closing, I would like to wish everyone a wonderful upcoming week. Thanks to your continued support, our Sunday blog finished 2014 in the top 5% of all blog sites in the country! This minor miracle could not have been accomplished without your loyal and loving support, so thank you very much!
Love to all,
P.S. Photographies de France attaches. (Photographs of France attached)