Well, it’s official, 2015 is now here.  How was your New Year’s Eve?  Did you know that over one million people gathered in Times Square to watch the ball drop and have their wallets pickpocketed?  I didn’t see a single Porta John, so be very careful where you walk if you’re headed there this week.  (and remember what your mother told you about eating yellow snow!)  Just for the record…  44% of Americans kiss someone at the stroke of midnight.  Half of those know the other person.  61% say a prayer.  (I pray that someone will kiss ME!)  Incredibly, 360 million glasses of champagne are consumed during the holiday season.

In case you’re wondering, the states with the highest consumption of champagne are…..  California, Illinois, New York, Florida, and Texas.  (Arkansas is last, but only because the bottles do not come with instructions for opening.)

Speaking of numbers…  the final statistics on last year’s blog activity were sent out this week.  I am thrilled to report that our blog gained followers in 71 different countries!  We also added 5,700 new followers!  The countries that viewed the most blog posts were…  America, Brazil, and Italy.  I’d like to sincerely thank each and every one of you, and encourage you to invite one of your significant others to join us!

I attended a lavish party on New Year’s Eve, hosted by the incomparable Jamie & Gary Rubenstein.  Lots of great food and stimulating conversation, but as usual, I barely got a word in.  However, I did manage to briefly summarize the first 45 years of my utterly fascinating life.  Bowing to rules of etiquette, I only talked about myself for two hours, and was then compelled to ask the other guests what they thought about me.  (I cannot print their responses in a public forum.)

The guest list was a little sketchy, but vaguely entertaining.  The Talbotts were “on the wagon,” so they drank Canada Dry.  (I tried to drink Canada dry the last time I went to Montreal.)  Judge Susan brought a dip.  (I didn’t catch his name.)  Pat Cutrone was cold, so she arrived with a capon.  Patty and I never show up empty-handed, so as usual, we brought a fork and knife.  (She also took some silverware.)  I must say that this year’s entertainment was, well, unique.  Have you ever played Pictionary in the nude?  (Now I know why they’re called magic markers!)

Finally, a new Harvard study confirmed that American women suffer the most frequent mood swings during their minstrel cycle.  (I know some men who suffer, too.)  Frankly, most men think that a minstrel cycle has something to do with a bike rider wearing blackface.  Having studied female autonomy, I know the difference, and understand what women go through during this, uh, period.  Come to think of it, this might be the origin of the term “hell on wheels.”  Just saying.

Well, my dear friends, time to say sayonara.  Breakfast awaits (I hope) and as they say in the fish store…  “carp diem!”  I bid you all a fond farewell and hope you have a marvelous week.  A last tidbit of advice…  If you want to follow your dreams, go back to bed!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

*** Attached are some photographs recently taken aboard the Queen Mary.  Thanks to my publicist, Gary Rubenstein, my new non-fiction book, THE SECOND MOURNING, is now the official history book of Cunard Cruise Lines!