HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Well, it’s official, 2015 is now here.  How was your New Year’s Eve?  Did you know that over one million people gathered in Times Square to watch the ball drop and have their wallets pickpocketed?  I didn’t see a single Porta John, so be very careful where you walk if you’re headed there this week.  (and remember what your mother told you about eating yellow snow!)  Just for the record…  44% of Americans kiss someone at the stroke of midnight.  Half of those know the other person.  61% say a prayer.  (I pray that someone will kiss ME!)  Incredibly, 360 million glasses of champagne are consumed during the holiday season.

In case you’re wondering, the states with the highest consumption of champagne are…..  California, Illinois, New York, Florida, and Texas.  (Arkansas is last, but only because the bottles do not come with instructions for opening.)

Speaking of numbers…  the final statistics on last year’s blog activity were sent out this week.  I am thrilled to report that our blog gained followers in 71 different countries!  We also added 5,700 new followers!  The countries that viewed the most blog posts were…  America, Brazil, and Italy.  I’d like to sincerely thank each and every one of you, and encourage you to invite one of your significant others to join us!

I attended a lavish party on New Year’s Eve, hosted by the incomparable Jamie & Gary Rubenstein.  Lots of great food and stimulating conversation, but as usual, I barely got a word in.  However, I did manage to briefly summarize the first 45 years of my utterly fascinating life.  Bowing to rules of etiquette, I only talked about myself for two hours, and was then compelled to ask the other guests what they thought about me.  (I cannot print their responses in a public forum.)

The guest list was a little sketchy, but vaguely entertaining.  The Talbotts were “on the wagon,” so they drank Canada Dry.  (I tried to drink Canada dry the last time I went to Montreal.)  Judge Susan brought a dip.  (I didn’t catch his name.)  Pat Cutrone was cold, so she arrived with a capon.  Patty and I never show up empty-handed, so as usual, we brought a fork and knife.  (She also took some silverware.)  I must say that this year’s entertainment was, well, unique.  Have you ever played Pictionary in the nude?  (Now I know why they’re called magic markers!)

Finally, a new Harvard study confirmed that American women suffer the most frequent mood swings during their minstrel cycle.  (I know some men who suffer, too.)  Frankly, most men think that a minstrel cycle has something to do with a bike rider wearing blackface.  Having studied female autonomy, I know the difference, and understand what women go through during this, uh, period.  Come to think of it, this might be the origin of the term “hell on wheels.”  Just saying.

Well, my dear friends, time to say sayonara.  Breakfast awaits (I hope) and as they say in the fish store…  “carp diem!”  I bid you all a fond farewell and hope you have a marvelous week.  A last tidbit of advice…  If you want to follow your dreams, go back to bed!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

*** Attached are some photographs recently taken aboard the Queen Mary.  Thanks to my publicist, Gary Rubenstein, my new non-fiction book, THE SECOND MOURNING, is now the official history book of Cunard Cruise Lines!

 

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7 thoughts on “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

  1. Just started reading Devils Cove and I love it. You have a way with writing that puts me in that place at that time. I have been in Austin and San Antonio before and felt like I was there again. You a quite an interesting writer and keep me waiting for what will happen next. And unlike other books, I never have to go back a few pages to see what I had missed or misread. You really are talented and I for one are sold on your books, so keep them coming. Sorry it took me so long, but our household has had a few health problems so keep us in your thoughts. Say hello to all of the family and wish we were all in Arizona together. By the way, the picture of you in this link, I looked at you from the neck down and I would swear your first name would have been Arthur. Really uncanny how those genes work. Luv to all.

    The Chicago reader,

    • Good morning, dear!

      Thank you for the lovely compliments! (Writers love to be stroked!) I hope you have a wonderful New Year, and I will certainly keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. Stay warm and keep in touch. Incidentally, I have a new book coming out shortly, so please re-send a mailing address and I will send you an autographed copy. Be well and take care,

      Steve Yanoff

      P.S. Use my personal email address when you reply. Let me know if you need it.

      On Mon, Jan 5, 2015 at 11:43 PM, Books By Stephen G. Yanoff wrote:

      >

  2. Happy New Year! We missed you at christmas this year, so i sent you a really “cool” gift. I sent the missus a “hot” one. Tell Barker to stop taking up all your free time!!

  3. Loved your post. It gave me a few chuckles! You are a wonderful sense of humor. Here is a Happy New Year x (kiss).

    • Janice…

      I hope you have a marvelous year, and best of luck with your writing! (I’m glad I made you smile with my blog post, because that is precisely the goal!)

      Since you sent a kiss, I am sending you a hug!

      Be well,

      Stephen Yanoff

      On Sun, Jan 4, 2015 at 3:08 PM, Books By Stephen G. Yanoff wrote:

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  4. Jaime Rubenstein

    Very cute! You are of so clever Doc.

     

    Jaime
    512-436-8043
    512-994-9451

  5. Happy New Year.    Johnny Venokur

    Sent on the new Sprint Network from my Samsung Galaxy S® 4 mini

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