Monkey business, that is!  As some of you know, I taught various communication courses at St. Edward’s University in Austin for about 7 years, and every so often, I still participate in “relationship seminars,” which are designed to improve communication between couples and promote marital bliss.  (Where ignorance is bliss, ’tis folly to be wise!)  Well, this year I brought my wife to a seminar, and after 37 years of marriage, I learned some new things about the old girl…..

First, I learned that I had indeed married “MRS. RIGHT.”  What I didn’t know, but soon learned, was that her first name was “ALWAYS!”     Second, I learned that my darling wife enjoys “romance” in the morning.  (Right after I go to work!)     Third, I learned that my wife simply desires a man who’s loyal, faithful, patient, attentive, forgiving, even-tempered, and a good listener.  (What she really needs is a dog!)

After the seminar, we drove down to Port Aransas, a lovely town on the Texas Gulf Coast.  They have a great beach, but surprisingly, there were turtle nests all along the shore.  They’re interesting to observe, but they make a mess of your tires.  Fortunately, the turtles are on the endangered species list.  Every so often a mama turtle tries to crawl into the dunes to lay her eggs, but sometimes they run out of gas.  In that instance, she has to stop at a “Shell station.”  Hey, I just thought of something…..  If a turtle breaks down on the beach, would that be considered a “reptile dysfunction?”

Speaking of dysfunctions…..

A word about the DEMOCRAT PARTY…   President Obama’s approval rating has fallen to 35%    The drug-addicted mayor of Toronto has an approval rating of 45%   Do you realize what this means?  People would rather smoke crack than sign up for Obamacare!

A word about the REPUBLICAN PARTY…  The President is demanding that Congress do something about the Minimum Wage.  If there is one group of people who know something about doing the Minimum for their Wage, it’s definitely Congress!

A word about the PREGNANT PARTY…  I hear that Miss Kellie (Judge Susan’s daughter) had a lovely baby shower.  Why the baby needed a shower is beyond me, but what do I know?  (Not much.)  Hey, do you think they have baby showers in Bath, England?  Anyway, we wish Miss Kellie the very best and we are looking forward to meeting her clean little darling in a month or two.

Finally, I would like to say a word about my first 3 mystery novels (The Graceland Gang, The Pirate Path, and Devil’s Cove.)  I would also like to mention my non-ficiton masterpiece, The Second Mourning.  Never mind.  That would be tacky.  Simply a cheap and under-handed way to get my blog followers to think of my books, and perhaps, if they had the time and wherewithal, order a copy or two from Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Kindle, or Nook.  I refuse to stoop to such dastardly depths of depravity!  (By the way, the books can also be purchased at BookPeople in Austin.)

Well, now that my moral compass is pointing in the right direction, I must leave you for a gourmet breakfast/pool party on the veranda!  My daughter Rebecca and her boyfriend Peter are on their way to Villa Yanoff for a traditional New York Sunday Morning Feast!  (Bagels, lox, and cream cheese!)  Yummy in my tummy!  Luckily, they are also bringing Madame Romy.  Who might this be?  Check out the attached photograph that I have hopefully managed to include…..  Have a great week…..    Love to all,

Doc Yanoff