Do you realize that yesterday (Saturday) was “Talk Like A Pirate Day?” Aye, ’tis true, me hearties. Shiver my timbers if somebody didn’t create a brand new holiday in order to celebrate my second mystery novel. (The Pirate Path) Well, at least I think that’s why they created the new holiday. What other reason could there possibly be? In any case, in order to celebrate the audacious occasion, I took my matey to a fancy pirate-like restaurant… Long John Silver’s. We ordered some special pirate-like grub and some rum. Check this out… the restaurant was selling corn on the cob for ….. “A-buck-an-ear!” (Ouch!)
Speaking of books… The National Book Awards were recently announced, and I’m proud to report that my first non-fiction masterpiece, THE SECON MOURNING, was almost nominated. (My mother forgot to return the nomination form.) I’m not too upset. Last year she returned the form but misspelled my name. (She nominated Stephen “King” by accident.) By the way, the winner of last week’s book contest was Angelo Petraglino from Rome, Italy. (The bridge photograph on the cover of THE PIRATE PATH was taken in Istanbul, Turkey.) Congratulations, Angelo. Your book is in the mail.
So what else is new? Well, I just read that Kellogg’s Cereal was planning to donate millions of dollars to an African charity, but now they’re hesitating… Tony the Tiger was apparently gunned down by a Minnesota dentist!
I just finished reading Hillary Clinton’s 45-page plan to be more spontaneous. (As the old cowboy said, it was a “spur of the moment” decision.)
Did you watch the Miss America Contest? Miss Georgia was crowned “Miss America.” Miss Kentucky was chosen “Least Cooperative.” (I refuse to explain these lame jokes!)
NBC just announced that Arnold Schwarzenegger will replace Donald Trump as the host of “Celebrity Apprentice.” I don’t think Trump is going to be too happy when he learns that he’s being replaced by an immigrant with an anchor baby!
On the home front… If I seem a little testy, it’s because I overslept and missed my exercise class this morning. This is the fifteenth year in a row that’s happened. My wife made me join “Orange Fitness.” I only agreed because I thought she said “Orange Julius,” which is one of my favorite health food drinks. Thank God the parking lot is usually filled. (Good excuse to come back home for a beer.) Hey, by the way, do you have to be pregnant to park in a “delivery zone?”
Speaking of deliveries… I will soon be on my way east, bound for Florida and another highly anticipated book tour/road show. I will post my official itinerary next week, in case you want to rob my house while I’m gone. If you do break in, please remember to flush the toilets and feed the pit bulls. (And watch those pesky land mines!)
In case you’re wondering, the next “Adam Gold Mystery” is currently being edited and will be published in early 2016. The book is titled “A RUN FOR THE MONEY,” and this time Adam Gold will become embroiled in an insurance claim that involves grave robbing and a Thoroughbred horse murder. As always, the story is basically true, and based upon an actual insurance claim handled by Mr. Gold’s real-life counterpart. (Me!) I think you folks are going to love the book. The pre-reviews have been phenomenal.
Well, me buckos, time for this old pirate to walk the plank and head to breakfast. I do hope you have a safe and joyful week. We shall meet again at high tide, or ebb tide, or tide detergent. You decide. I’m hungry! Love to all,
Doc Yanoff (Sometimes known by my pirate moniker, “Captain Kidder.”)
P.S. Any idea where or when the attached photograph was taken?