BY THE TIME I GET TO PHOENIX…..

Wait a minute, I just got back from Florida, I’m not going to Arizona!  Dang, these extended book tours are starting to wear me out.  (They’re wearing out my tires, too!)  Another week, another 1,500 miles of travel, but I have to admit, it was wonderful.  The weather throughout Florida was simply magnificent, and I spent as much time in the water as on land.  I even signed some books on the beach.  (Bikini-clad bathers received a 10% discount…..  if they were female.)  We also got to rub elbows with a few celebrities.  Which reminds me, did you know that Burt Reynolds (who lives near Jupiter) is making a new movie about a stunt man who becomes a long-distance truck driver?  The movie will be called “Smokey and the Band-Aid.”  (Hey, the folks in Florida thought that was funny!)

The highlights of the road trip were dining on lobster rolls at a Delray Beach club and spending a few nights in a luxurious water-front mansion in Boca Raton.  Another fond memory, believe it or not, was stopping for coffee at Starbucks.  I know this sounds odd, but most of the stores leave a jar full of money on the counter, which I assume is for the patrons.  (In case you leave your wallet in the car.)  I always took a few dollars out of the jar, but being a generous person, I left them some change.  (mainly pennies.)  I wish more businesses would offer customers loot.

In case you’re wondering, the best-selling book of the trip was THE SECOND MOURNING.  (Followed by DEVIL’S COVE and RANSOM ON THE RHONE.)  All together, I must have signed several hundred copies, which would explain the finger cramps.  The stomach cramps were due to a foolish lunch at Cracker Barrel.  Avoid the chicken and dumplings.  (I could make a joke about the name of that dish, but I don’t want to ruin your Sunday breakfast!)

So what else is new?  Well, California governor Jerry Brown recently signed a controversial new bill allowing assisted suicide.  (He could have saved himself some trouble and just told folks to eat at Cracker Barrel!)   I noticed that Bernie Sander’s slogan is “Feel The Bern.”  Funny, I thought that was Taco Bell’s slogan!  As a writer, of sorts, I suggest that we refer to the race between Jeb Bush and Donald Trump in literary terms.  Maybe we should call it the race between the tortoise and the bad hair?  (A fable-lous idea!)

Poor Martin O’Malley.  He’s still running for president, but he’s stuck at 2 percent in the polls.  Do you realize what this means?  After 8 months of campaigning, he’s tied with low-fat milk!  (Who says cream rises to the top?)

Incidentally, we had to cancel two book club meetings in South Carolina due to the recent storm that drenched the entire Carolina coast.  As some of you know, the next “Adam Gold Mystery” is set in the Low Country, mainly in Charleston and Beaufort.  The book is titled “A RUN FOR THE MONEY,” and is currently in the final stages of editing.  God-willing, the book should be available sometime in mid-January of 2016.  I will, as the mailman likes to say, keep you posted.

The months of October and November will be dedicated to some local book clubs and book store events, and I couldn’t be happier.  I really love the book tour gigs, but we have lovely fall weather down here in Texas, and it looks like our “home team” (University of Texas) is steadily improving in the rough and tumble world of collegiate football.  (Frankly, I enjoy the tailgating activities as much as the game!)  Which reminds me…..  I would like to thank my dear friend, Ted Heaton, for supplying some great tickets and a fabulous tailgating adventure.  Ted owns a local State Farm office, so if you need a great insurance broker, he’s your man.

In closing, allow me to wish all of you a safe and pleasant week.  The first person to correctly identify the location of the attached photograph will win a signed copy of THE GRACELAND GANG.  (There’s your hint!)  Good luck, and we shall speak again in the near future!  Love to all …..

Doc Yanoff

 

 

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One thought on “BY THE TIME I GET TO PHOENIX…..

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