Who says you can’t judge a book by its cover?  Not I!  In fact, I’m hoping that all of my loyal readers will judge my next mystery novel by its cover.  Why?  Because the cover will feature an original watercolor painting by one of America’s most renowned artists!  The “Thomas Kincaid of the Carolinas,” Ms. Lil Taylor, of Hickory, North Carolina!  The lovely and talented “Artist of Appalachia,” as she is known by her friends, has created a veritable masterpiece for the soon-to-be-released mystery, titled, CAPONE ISLAND.

For those of you who have not been to The Louvre Museum in Paris, Miss Taylor has created roughly 300 original watercolor paintings.  She specializes in birds, flowers, and sunset landscapes.  (Her sunset painting is the one that we are using for the front book cover.)  I will be posting a photograph of the painting at the end of this blog, so if you would like to get a “sneak preview,” simply scroll down.

By the way, if you happen to be an art lover (who’s this guy Art?) you can view her entire portfolio at the following website:  lil-taylor.pixels.com     Most of her beautiful paintings are for sale, and if you’re looking for a GREAT investment, you might want to consider purchasing one.  Some day all of her work will be hanging in the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  (Which is where they hung one of my relatives!)

So what else is new?  Well, last week was very “taxing.”  (My accountant, Jesse James Lipschitz, forgot to file my taxes on time, so I had to contact the Infernal Revenue Service and ask for an extension.  The bastards sent me an electric cord!  My friends, I now realize that people who complain about paying taxes fall into two categories…… male and female!  I’ve also figured out why the IRS does not audit cows.  (Because farmers have already milked them dry!)  Which reminds me, why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?  (They only have “one scent!’)

All right, enough with the IRS jokes….  here are some actual facts about those bandits…..   90% of Americans now file their taxes electronically!  (And you know how safe your personal information remains online!)  The IRS has about 85,000 robbers, I mean, employees.  Incredibly, only 200 of them are 25 years or younger.  These overworked folks (I’m being nice in case they audit me) process roughly 130,000,000 tax returns.

I don’t understand why they call them “returns,” when you never get anything back!

Do you know what IRS auditors use for birth control?  (Their personalities!)  The guy that came to audit me had no sense of humor.  I asked him to remove me from his mailing list, but he just frowned.  Which reminds me, somebody stole my identity last year, and then paid my taxes for me!  I don’t know his identity, but I think he went to Texas A & M University.  (The Wausau campus)

Moving along… last week’s engagement shower (sans water) was a complete success.  The Talbott-hosted event at the Austin Club drew a distinguished group of female ladies, and everyone had a marvelous time.  Thanks again to Barbara and Max Talbott, our dear friends and future cellmates at Leavenworth Prison.  (Is tax evasion still a crime?)

By the way, the San Antonio Book Festival was a rip roaring success for me.  (Thanks to my generous hosts and a few of the local bookstores)  I was the featured speaker at two private events, and we made a lot of new friends and sold a lot of books.  The Riverwalk is a lovely spot to hold a book signing and if you haven’t been there lately, you should pay them a visit.  The Little Rhein Steak House is still the best place to dine on the river.  The food and atmosphere are top notch.  (Being a vegetarian is a big “missed steak!”)  Mention my name, and they will give you some free bones.

Well, I must head out to the back forty for some yard work.  Spring has sprung, the weeds are tall, can’t this wait, until next fall?  Just kidding, dear, I’m about to sign off.  Drop that frying pan!  (But not on my head again!)  Have to run, so have a joyful week!  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

*********  FRONT BOOK COVER PAINTING BELOW! **************