LOOK INTO MY EYES!

You’re getting sleepy…  sleepy…  sleepy…  All right, maybe not.  Maybe you don’t suffer from insomnia (I have the reverse problem!) so you feel well rested.  However, did you know that 10% of Americans suffer from insomnia?  (For some reason, 13% of Canadians also have insomnia.  Might have something to do with boredom.)  In any case, insomnia is no laughing matter.  Thus, I have donated several cases of books to the National Sleep Foundation.  (Please, no jokes about the quality of my writing!)  These folks are in need of some reading material for their patients, and if anybody’s writing can put someone to sleep, it’s mine.

According to my contact at the foundation, more women than men have sleeping disorders.  (They probably spend more time dreaming about sales at the mall!)  Since my generous donation, I have learned some interesting things about insomnia….  (so stay awake!)  i.e.,  Insomnia is often hereditary.  (My children drove me crazy!)  Pets can also have insomnia.  Although, cats spend about 2/3 of their lives sleeping.  (The other third ruining the furniture!)  Almost 20% of marijuana users suffer from insomnia.  Humans spend 1/3 of their lives sleeping.  (With a few notable literary exceptions who are pushing the needle up!)

Actually, I think I’m requiring more sleep because of my age.  I’m old enough to remember when coffee was just called coffee.  Oops, I’m dating myself.  (Who else would go out with me!)  I’m not as old as my neighbor.  His first homeowner policy covered fire, theft, and Indian raids!  Was that a lame joke?  So Sioux me!

So what else is new?  Well, tonight we celebrate Baron Lee’s birthday with a gala dinner party at my house.  BYOB.  (Bring Your Own Belly)  The feast will include pheasant under and over glass.  Mushed potatoes.  Hairy convert beans.  Catcher In The Rye Bread.  And Half-baked Alaska.  Hopefully, nobody will ask for a glass of wine, but if they do, we have a bottle of Boone’s Farm Rose.  (Bottled in late March)

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking.  I am one generous guy.  What can I say?  To have a friend, you must be a friend.  And speaking of friends……  I have been invited to a wonderful event on Tuesday, April 24th, at the new Post Oak Hotel in Houston.  Coach Mack Brown (the former football coach at the University of Texas) is going to be inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame!  A well-deserved honor for a man who coached for 30 years and won a National Championship in 2005.  (Beating USC in one of the best games in history!)

And since we’re on the subject of winning titles…..  I am going to tease you a little by sharing some information about my present literary project……  My newest mystery novel, titled, CAPONE ISLAND, has been accepted for publication even though I  still have 3 more chapters to finish!  This marks the first acceptance of an unfinished work for me, and I am thrilled to join the elite club of authors who manage to scam, I mean, secure a contract.  Seriously though, I greatly appreciate the vote of confidence.  (Now all I have to do is finish the darn book!)

In closing, I would like to offer a huge THANK YOU to Mrs. Barbara Talbott and Mr. Max Talbott for hosting tomorrow’s special Bridal Luncheon for my gorgeous daughter, Rebecca Lee.  Ms. Becky is getting married (in Maui, Hawaii) in June.  The luncheon will be held at the enchanting Austin Club downtown.  BYOB.  (Just kidding!)  The champagne will be flowing freely, and I’m sure the ladies will have a marvelous time.  (NO BOYS ALLOWED!)  Again, this is a lovely and generous gesture, and greatly appreciated by the entire Yanoff clan.  (Even by those family members who are presently incarcerated, and unable to attend!)

If you scroll down at the end of this blog, you will see a facsimile of the award that I recently received from Reader Views Magazine.  They were kind enough to choose my recent history book, TURBULENT TIMES, as one of the “Best U.S. History Books of the Year.”  Once again, I would like to thank the judges for this wonderful honor.  Well, time to close up shop until we meet again.  As Bill Shakespeare once said…..  parting is such sweet sorrow!  Have a great week…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

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