Well, thanks to the lovely and talented Sheila Niles (my new publicist) I had the pleasure of speaking to a group of wonderful, intelligent, and sweet ladies this past week.  No, I was not at Hooters again!  I was at a marvelous book club in Lakeway, and I spent an enjoyable afternoon discussing my new history book, TURBULENT TIMES.  The ladies (and a few gents) were enthralled by my oratorical skills, and mesmerized by my encyclopedic knowledge of history.  Then again, they might have been staring at my shirt buttons, which were not aligned.  (But very close)  Who knows.  Either way, it was great fun, and I thank Sheila and her incredible friends who were a super audience.  (And thanks for the champagne!)

After my talk, I went to the supermarket, and I had quite an experience.  This hot young lady kept staring at the items I had in my cart, and she would not stop checking me out!  Unfortunately, she was the cashier, so she had to check me out.  Still, I was somewhat flattered when she asked me how my day was going.  (That’s chick language for “I want to ravage you.”)  Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating.  (I do write some fiction!)

Speaking of writing…..  If you check out the recent issue of the MANHATTAN USER’S GUIDE, you’ll see that they gave me a wonderful write-up and spoke highly of TURBULENT TIMES.  (Telling their readers and the millions of tourists who use the newsletter that if they were interested in William H. Seward, they “couldn’t do better than Stephen G. Yanoff’s biography, published in April, titled TURBULENT TIMES.)  What a nice surprise, and it’s always great to receive some valuable (free) publicity.  My thanks to the folks in the “Big Apple!”

I’m staring outside right now, and believe it or not, I just saw a snake crawl by on my back porch.  (We have a lot of snakes in Texas.  More than Washington, D.C.)  Anyway, that got me thinking…..  It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed. Nobody wants a loyal snake.  Hssssssss.

And since we’re on the subject of free publicity, some of you folks subscribe to an intriguing publication called Bookmad Magazine.  (One of America’s most popular magazines about all things literary.)  Well, my friends, if you’ll take a close look at the March issue, you’ll find a featured article on…..  yep, you guessed it, TURBULENT TIMES.  The book is generating a lot of “buzz,” so “bee-have” yourself and buy a copy!  (This one’s a real “honey!”)   All right, no more flying insect jokes.

When the world ends, I want to be in Arkansas.  Everything happens twenty years later in Arkansas.  (And the state is actually quite beautiful)

For those of you who might be keeping track of my spring book tours, I will be going east (S. Carolina and Florida) in May, and then it’s off to Maui, Hawaii for a week in June.  The summer trip is fairly well set, and luckily, it involves a return visit to Italy, Slovenia, Croatia, Greece, and Turkey.  I shall provide further details once I have them.  (and before you ask, I am NOT working for Interpol!)  The Mossad, maybe, but not Interpol.

Well, my dear blog followers, I must be on my way…..  Stormy Daniels is on CNN again.  Just remember, adultery is nothing to write home about!  And by the way, it’s okay to live in the moment, as long as you show up on time.  So there.

Have a safe and joyous week!  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

 

Ah, Texas weather.  What a joy to behold.  Yesterday was sunny and hot (85 degrees!) and today is cloudy and 70 degrees.  So much for water polo.  Mr. Twain was right… everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it!  (He also said that golf is a good walk spoiled!)  I guess I shouldn’t complain, considering what my northern friends are going through.  (There’s no business like snow business!)

Speaking of spoiled, my wife has recently informed me that the Bible says that all men should make coffee for their wives.  (Look under “He-brews!”)  Even the devil can quote scripture for his own purpose!  What can I say, families are like fudge… mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

And since we’re on the subject of sweet nuts, the Princess of Portugal and her fearless traveling companion, Baron Lee, have returned from the former debtor’s colony known as Australia.  All did not go well!  I’m not sure, but I think the Princess may have found a lover!  She sent me several emails about Sydney, which she confessed to adore.  I don’t know who Sydney is, but he sounds like a pervert.  (She said something about enjoying down under, which sounds like a dirty sex act to me!)  If you ask me, they consumed too much Aboriginal food.  Would you believe that Aussie restaurants serve peanut butter & box jellyfish sandwiches?  Croc in-a-box burgers?  Wallaby wings? How about Kangaroo beer?  (A lot of “hops!”)  G’day, mate, not for me!

On a more delirious note, you might be wondering how I’ve become America’s most award-winning mystery novelist.  (Aside from the bribery thing)  Well, if you’re curious, you can participate in the 4th Annual Mystery & Thriller Virtual Conference, which is now enrolling folks online.  This wonderful event is sponsored by Writer’s Digest.  (Or you can simply “Google” my radio interviews @ “Books By Stephen G. Yanoff.com   Either way, you’re sure to enjoy the valuable insights provided by a host of famous writers.  (and a few wannabes from Texas!)

Since you mentioned books…..  I have a special surprise for all of my 65,000 blog followers…..  later today, or perhaps tomorrow, there will be a special press release about a major literary award heading this way.  I am not at liberty to say much right now, but this is a HUGE award.  If you’re on the blog, or I have your email, stay tuned!

On a more serious note, I would like to extend my condolences to the family of Ken Evans, who passed away on Saturday.  Ken was a great guy, an amazing poker player, and one of my biggest fans.  He read and enjoyed all my books, and he was always a great friend and supporter of mine.  I wish his family comfort and peace, and I wish my dear poker buddy pocket aces for eternity!

If anybody is going downtown today, be mindful that we (Austin) are hosting yet another festival, so the traffic will not be good.  Also, don’t forget that we are now dealing with daylight savings time.  You must remember to set your clocks back before you go to bed tonight.  (“Spring back, fall ahead”)  I think that’s the way it goes.  Maybe you’d better check that.

Finally, since I have ruined Australia’s reputation, I would like to leave you with some photographs of the aforementioned couple during their “brief fling” with Sydney.  I’m not sure what the owls represent, but check out the Princess of Portugal and her hooters… quite large….  (enough said!)

Have a lovely week.  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

 

******** OWL PHOTOS ARE FOR THE BIRDS, BUT STILL ATTACHED!   ********