So, how was your 2016 holiday?  Did you celebrate St. Patty’s Day, the day that the beloved saint drove the snakes out of Ireland… and the worms into tequila bottles?  We certainly had a rip-roaring day & night.  (from what I remember)  Of course, you must remember that my wife’s maiden name was McCloskey, and you can’t get more Irish than that.  This year the sweet leprechaun made a traditional seven-course Irish dinner.  (one boiled potato and a six-pack of beer!)  Just kidding.  We actually had green beer, green cabbage, and green corned beef hash.  Unfortunately, there was no green dye used.  (the stuff was just old!)

The Irish, as many of you know, are a very happy lot.  However, in a recent survey, Denmark was rated as the “happiest country on earth.”  I’m not surprised.  I’d be happy too if I had a pastry named after me.  (Danish)  Was that last joke a little cheesy?

So what else is new?  Well, I’m proud to announce that my last book, THE SECOND MOURNING, recently won its 11th book award!  The brilliant tome was awarded “Honorable Mention” at the 2016 Los Angeles Book Festival, which I think is in California.  I have been invited to the grand ceremony, which will be followed by a gourmet meal at a restaurant that received a 3-star rating from Michelin.  (Why is a tire company rating restaurants?  Sounds a little sketchy to me.)

Meanwhile, the presidential race rolls onward!  I might throw my hat into the ring, and if I do, this will be my campaign motto:  “BAN PRE-SHREDDED CHEESE. MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN!”  (Good Lord, that’s the second cheese reference!)  That last joke was an oldie and a moldy!  Speaking of politics…  I see that Clinton and Trump will be on the Late Show this week.  (Bernie Sanders will be appraised on the “Antiques Roadshow.”)  Come on, that one was cute!

Speaking of cute…..  Congratulations to Mrs. Donna Diloretto of Austin, Texas.  Donna was the winner of last week’s trivia contest, correctly identifying the photograph of El Morro National Monument in Puerto Rico.

I would also like to mention (and thank) the beautiful and talented Mrs. Gladys Deatrick  (of Mt. Juliet, Tennessee) for sending me a wonderful compact disc.  (A copy of the recent PBS program titled, “Murder of a President.  Romance, Madness, Medicine, and the Death of James A. Garfield.”)  As many of you know, my book, THE SECOND MOURNING, presents the true story of the assassination, and provides some startling information about the assassin.

I would also like to thank the lovely Shelda Hamilton of Saskatchewan, Canada, for sending along some photographs of her home town, Saskatoon.  (Please say hello to your ne’er-do-well companion for me.)  Shelda is “attached” to Dr. George, one of the most prominent physicians south of the North Pole.  Or north of the South Pole.  I forget which.)

I may be heading for Los Angeles on Wednesday, so if I end up in jail I’m sure you’ll understand.  The last time I was there, I had a traumatic experience at Denny’s Restaurant in Brentwood.  I ordered breakfast (a two-egg omelet) and get this… the waiter forgot my coffee!  To make matters worse, he brought over O.J.  (When did that creep get out of prison?)

Well, that’s about all for now.  (whew!)  Have a safe and wonderful week!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff

P.S.  Feeling lucky?  Be the first to correctly identify the location of the attached photograph and you will win an autographed book!