No, I am not referring to the 30+ inches of rain that we’ve had down here in Texas.  (Anybody know where I can buy an ark?)  I know that some folks think I’m “all wet,” or a “drip,” and they happen to be right!  Even so, I hope that the rain keeps up.  (That way it won’t come down!)  Well, I hate to say it, but I am starting to miss the drought.  (At least it was sunny!)

In any case, the title of today’s blog does not refer to rain, but rather to another literary award that has recently been bestowed upon me.  Earlier this week, I was notified that my book, THE SECOND MOURNING, won the “Honorable Mention Award” (2nd place) in the 23rd ANNUAL WRITER’S DIGEST BOOK AWARD CONTEST!

This year’s contest was very competitive, attracting over 2,600 entries from around the globe.  (and several counties in Arkansas!)  My book was entered in the general non-fiction category, which was fiercely competitive.  (There were at least two Pulitzer Prize winners in contention for the award!)  Obviously, I am very grateful for this honor, which happens to be the 6th major award that THE SECOND MOURNING has won!  In addition to a generous cash prize, my book will be featured in the March/April 2016 issue of Writer’s Digest Magazine.  (You can read about the contest by going to http://www.writersdigest.com)

So what else is new?  Well, when I was a young man I wanted to be an auto mechanic.  Why?  Because I thought that it would be a good way to fulfill my “Manifold Destiny.”

I read that Oprah Winfrey purchased a 10% stake in Weight Watchers.  The last thing she needed to buy was another stake!  (steak?)  The beautiful and talented Maureen O’Hara has passed away.  Now there was a star.    Speaking of stars….  for those of you (like me) who enjoy watching the “Sherlock” series, take heart!  The producers will soon be presenting a 90-minute version of “The Abominable Bride.”  (Which has nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with my wife!)  But here’s something cool….  Sherlock and Dr. Watson will be brought back to the 1890s during the episode.  This should be quite interesting!

And since we’re on the subject of interesting people…..  let me wish my cousin Max a Happy (belated) Birthday!  The Maxster refuses to reveal his true age, but I know he’s not near as old as Bernie Sanders.  (They asked Sanders how he would end the war and he told a reporter that he would never have sent troops to Richmond in the first place!)  If you me, that’s a rather “un-civil” answer!

In case you’re wondering, we are still searching for just the right cover for the next “Adam Gold Mystery,” titled, A RUN FOR THE MONEY.  If there are any up and coming (or even down and out) artists out there, please feel free to forward your ideas.  We are thinking about a race horse image, if that helps.  If you forward a clever idea, I promise to steal it and pass it off as my own without any financial compensation, so don’t delay!

Finally, on a serious note, our thoughts and prayers are with the good people of Stillwater, Oklahoma this weekend.  I know it sounds trite, but his too shall pass.  (I’m referring to the recent parade tragedy, which left at least 4 people dead.)

As for the rest of you rascals, please drive carefully and have a safe and happy week.  I look forward to sharing some “major” book news the next time we meet.  (No hints!)  Be well, and go placidly amid the noise and cedar pollen…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff


P.S.  Anybody know where the attached photo was taken?





Hey, wait a minute, isn’t that the title of the second “Adam Gold Mystery?” (Actually, that was THE PIRATE PATH.)  Anyway, the reason I used this title in today’s post is because I recently returned from “pirate country” along the Texas coast.  In pursuit of fame and fortune, I ventured down to the charming coastal town of Port Lavaca, anxious to meet and greet some of my loyal fans.  (It was very hot down there, so there were plenty of fans!)  I gave a short discourse (did you folks sign up for “dis course?”) to a group of prominent citizens recently paroled and/or pardoned from the local penal institution.

Just kidding about the penal thing.  (Why does that sound dirty?)  I actually spoke at the Old Main Bookstore in nearby Palacios.  (Which is a Spanish word meaning “palacios.”)  Great cookies and wonderful coffee, and some very nice citizens.  Then it was off for another engagement in Port Lavaca, which has the good fortune of existing beside a lovely inlet on Matagorda Bay.  Aye, matey, it was a good place to discuss my book about pirate treasure, because this is where good old Jean Lafitte buried some of his loot!  (I dug up several flower beds, but alas, to no avail.)  Nevertheless, I got to use some lame pirate jokes and a few gags about “booty.”  (I think the audience was ready to bury me, instead of treasure!)

So what else be new?  Well, if you happen to subscribe to a French newspaper called “Herald de Paris,” (and let’s face it, who doesn’t?) then you might have seen the pleasant article written about RANSOM ON THE RHONE.  The reviewer was very kind, and she gave the book 4-stars, which was much appreciated.  (I tried to “purchase” the fifth star, but she wouldn’t budge.  Whoever heard of a French person refusing a bribe?)  Say levee, as they say down in New Orleans.

Looks like Greece is heading for bankruptcy.  Hard to believe that the country that invented the philosophy major could go bankrupt.  Their prime minister is still optimistic.  I heard him say that the country will bounce back. (They were just having a rough 2,000 years.)

What else happened recently?  Oh yes, same-sex marriage was approved by the Supreme Court.  (I don’t use the term “gay marriage,” because ALL marriage will make you miserable!  Or bankrupt!)  Jeez, I hope my wife doesn’t read this blog.  (She hasn’t read any of them yet!)  Anyway, in my view the main difference between gay marriage and straight marriage is that in the former nobody complains when you leave the toilet seat up!  Just saying, dear.

Hey, isn’t Bernie Sanders too old to become President?  A reporter asked him if he was on Instagram, and he said that he’s sticking with telegrams!  I’ve heard that he’s so old that his Homeowner Insurance covers fire, theft, and Indian raids!  Now that’s old.  (So are these jokes!)  I see that Chris Christie gave a 20-minute speech in his high school’s gymnasium.  (Probably the longest amount of time he’s ever spent inside a gym!)  He was no doubt surrounded by dumb bells.  (Hey, I used to live in New York, so I’m allowed to make jokes about New Jersey!)

Since I’m being “crabby,” let me remind you of a great seafood restaurant down in Port Lavaca…  The place is called Art’s Fish House.  (A fellow named Art owns the place and they serve fish.)  That being said, order something called the “Big Pot.”  (No, this is not a Chris Christie joke.)  The dinner is a superb combo of shrimp, blue crab, and crawfish.  Yummy yummy.  (You can add something called “Dungeon crab,” or “Dungeness crab” for a few dollars extra.)

Well, my dear friends, I must leave you to your own devices.  Tonight is the semi-annual “Princess of Portugal Paella Party.”  I, being a world class bartender, am responsible for bringing several gallons of my famous “Faux Festival Sangria,” so I must be on my way to the taxidermy shop.  (I have a secret ingredient that they supply….  eye of newt extract!)  When you toast with my sangria, you’re supposed to say….  “Here’s looking at you, kid!”

I can’t “envision” a better way to end this blog, so I’m gone…..

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff