A “TAXING” TIME OF YEAR!

Yikes, it’s that time of year again! Time to get super-creative and fill out my tax forms. Talk about interesting works of fiction! I hope the INFERNAL REVENUE SERVICE appreciates all of the effort that I put into the tax deduction page. (They’ve never questioned any of my 32 children before, so I think I’m good to go for another year.) In any case, spring has sprung down here in Texas, and I’d like to take a moment to wish all of my loyal blog followers a wonderful holiday season. I hope you had an excellent EASTER, pleasant PASSOVER, or reverent Ramadan.

During this special time in spring, I usually like to make one or two meaningful sacrifices, but I couldn’t find any willing virgins this year and there are no more Aztec Indians living in our neighborhood. Sooooo…. I decided to make a personal sacrifice. I’ve made up my mind not to drink any more alcohol unless I’m alone or with somebody else. Believe it or not, I’ve been sober for 23 days. (Not in a row, since the start of the year.) I see little hope for me, but perhaps I’m being too hard on myself.

We just returned from our annual pilgrimage to the Mayan Dude Ranch in Bandera, Texas. (I knew I’d work in some Indians somehow!) Bandera, as you might know, is the self-proclaimed “Cowboy Capital of Texas.” This year we took BOTH of our granddaughters, Galloping Goldie and Fearless Fiona, and they were mighty cute cowgirls. They love to ride horses, and this part of the Hill Country is especially beautiful during the spring wildflower bloom.

Cowgirl Kellie runs the place, and she does a marvelous job providing lots of good food and entertainment.

Last year, the ranch featured a bareback rider, but the poor lad got a terrible sunburn as he was riding around bareback. (I offered to buy him a shirt… and I even told him a good joke…. “Do you think cowboy clothing is the same thing as ranch dressing?) He didn’t think that was funny either. This year the featured performer was THE world champion roper, who was supposed to do two shows, but he got tied up. (I got that joke from Don “Knotts!”) Ouch.

In addition to the fine entertainment, we took a couple of hayrides across some rugged rattlesnake-infested terrain and participated in an authentic cowboy breakfast. Interestingly, they served beans at every meal, which meant that you could never stand down-wind of any of the young children. (or most of the grownups!) Now I know why there is so much natural gas in the Lone Star State.

Speaking of natural gas….. I will be making a return engagement at the Lakeway Mens’ Breakfast Club on May 24th, and this year’s sermon will be on my brand new mystery novel, titled, DEAD ENDING. My disquisitions are usually well attended, so if you’re planning to come, purchase your tickets early! (You can send me $500 dollars or just show up, since there is no door charge and the event is absolutely free. Entirely up to you.)

Incidentally, DEAD ENDING (the new Adam Gold mystery) is now available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Kindle, and leading bookstores across the country. (and in certain parts of Arkansas.)

The book has already received several rave reviews. (from crazy people) The NYT also gave the book five stars and called it “one of the more readable and clever mysteries of the year.” In their brief synopsis, (which I now will steal) they wrote……. “In this exciting new mystery, Adam Gold, America’s foremost insurance investigator, is forced to match wits with a psychotic antiques dealer who claims to own two priceless Alamo artifacts — Davy Crockett’s rifle and the sword of Colonel William B. Travis. An action-packed investigation leads to a nerve-wracking confrontation with the Mexican Mafia and MS-13, before a memorable climax on the “Highway to Hell,” which runs through the infamous killing fields of South Texas.”

For those of you who have been patiently waiting, I will include a photograph of the book’s front cover, which was designed by one of the leading graphic artists in Texas. More on the book to follow, but for now, I hope you enjoy Gold’s latest adventure. (Details on the Netflix possibility next week!) Until then, be safe and have a wonderful week. Love to all,

Doc Yanoff