Wait a minute.  I think that’s supposed to be “Prodigal Son.”  Well, in any case, I’m back!  Yea, though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I have feared no evil…  but enough about Minneapolis.  Let’s discuss my last book tour, which was (fortunately) cancelled due to popular demand.  (By the CDC)  My new literary agent, Irving “Jellyroll” Rabinowitz, had suggested a bus tour through a third world country, where I might be able to visit a dangerous jungle filled with wild animals.  I’d never been to Seattle, so I agreed to check out the itinerary…

The bus company insisted that all passengers wear black clothing and black ski masks, so I assumed we were going to see some mountains.  Not a chance.  We drove straight to Dick’s Sporting Goods and picked up some bats, which I thought we’d use at the Seattle Mariner’s Stadium, but I was wrong.  After Dick’s, we were going to stop at some sort of construction site to pick up some bricks, but this was an optional stop.  Due to the prevailing mood of the city, there would then be a complimentary “Unhappy Hour,” where specialty drinks would be served.  (Mostly Molotov cocktails!)

I’m starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.

Still, if you’re interested in learning about the origins of American anarchy, then you’re in luck.  All you have to do is purchase a copy of my soon-to-be-released history book, titled, GONE BEFORE GLORY.  (The Life and Death of William McKinley)  As you might know, Mr. McKinley was assassinated by a deranged anarchist (is there another kind?) named Leon Czolgosz.  Leon was a willing dupe of Emma Goldman, the “High Priestess of Anarchy.”  Red Emma, as she was unaffectionately called, was an advocate of “propaganda of the deed.”  (The use of violence to instigate change.)  Needless to say, my timing is almost perfect, but the book won’t be available until early 2021.  I shall, as they say, keep you informed of the exact publishing date.

In the meantime…  I am very proud to announce that my newest “Adam Gold Mystery,” titled, CAPONE ISLAND, has recently won a major literary award!  CAPONE ISLAND was chosen as one of the “Best Mysteries of 2020” by the prestigious literary organization known as READER’S VIEWS MAGAZINE.  There was, of course, a substantial cash prize, which was donated to one of our local Austin charities.  The book is still selling quite well, and if you haven’t read it yet, you can order a copy just about anywhere they sell books.  (Or you can steal a copy from your local library.)

Many of my super-loyal blog followers have been asking about my schedule during quarantine.  Well, to be perfectly honest, I’ve been enjoying the absence of traffic and traveling, and have used my time wisely.  I’ve started a new history book, covering the life and times of John C. Fremont.  I’ve also built myself a modest “victory garden,” in anticipation of our victory over Covid-19.  (Photos attached)

BUT…  most importantly, I’ve been enjoying the newest addition to our ever-growing family…  my adorable new grandson, Mr. Leo Oliver Barlin!  (Photos attached)  I’m supposed to travel up to New York City in late fall to receive my gold medal (for CAPONE ISLAND) and I’ve hired Leo to serve as my bodyguard.  His mom agreed to send the little tike for police training, so since he graduated at the top of his class, I have attached a photo of him in full riot gear.

Let me take a moment to wish all of you dads out there a very happy and healthy FATHER’S DAY!  Harvard studies have revealed that almost every person born in America had a father, which is simply incredible.  (You have to wake up pretty early in the afternoon to fool those Harvard folks!)

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, dear friends, and if you’re feeling blue about our present lockdown, just remember these words, uttered by the extremely tan actor, George Hamilton…..  “We all have to age, but we don’t have to get old!”   Amen.

Be safe and wear your mask!  Love to all,

Doc Yanoff