Well, so much for our first book tour stop in lovely Puerto Rico!  Due to unforeseen circumstances (and a considerable amount of shaking) we will NOT be dropping anchor in Old San Juan this voyage.  As you might know, the island has recently (January 15) been rocked by a 5.2 magnitude earthquake, making all book signings (including mine) obsolete.  From what I recently heard, women were running out of their houses, barely clothed, screaming with fear.  (Sounds like my honeymoon, but that’s another story!)  Our thoughts and prayers are with the good folks down there, and we sincerely wish them well.

By the way, our Puerto Rico stop has been replaced with a “beach break” in wonderful St. Bart’s, so you needn’t feel sorry for me.  The wife and I will be heading for Shell Beach, which is a lovely little spot just outside of the main town of Gustavia.  (Gustavia is the island’s capital and was named in honor of King Gustav III of Sweden.)  Better a Swedish king than a Portuguese Man-of-war jellyfish!

When I was living in New York, I went to Puerto Rico every winter.  (To visit my hubcaps)  This year, we will be donating ALL of our January book royalties to various charities on the island.  Incidentally, in order to ensure a cozy spot in heaven (not too close to Hades) we will be donating our book royalties for the first 6 months of the year.  (If you want to wait until February or March, your purchase will assist St. Jude’s Children Hospital or Camp Aranzazu for Children.  Both are wonderful outfits, so take your pick!)

Did you realize that Elvis Presley’s birthday was last week?  Yup, “The King” was born on January 8, 1935.  Had the old boy lived, he would now be….  85 years old!  (His next record would have been, “You ain’t nothin’ but a service dog!”)  All right, maybe I should have gone with “Heart-burn Hotel?”  In any case, I will try to post some of the photos I snapped during our visit to Graceland and the Elvis Presley Center in Tupelo, Mississippi.  Believe it or not, the gift shop is still selling copies of my very first “Adam Gold Mystery,” titled, THE GRACELAND GANG.  (I let them keep the royalties, so I’m not sure how many book they sell each year.  Eat your heart out, Stephen King!)

And since we’re on the subject of great literature…  I am happy to report that I have now had 3 offers to publish my next non-fiction masterpiece, titled, GONE BEFORE GLORY.  As I’ve previously mentioned, this book concerns the life and death of President William McKinley, and like my previous books, I reveal some startling new information about his assassination.  I just finished typing (yeah, I still use a typewriter) page 300, and I have about 125-150 more pages to go.  I shall keep your breast, I mean, keep you abreast, of my progress.  (maybe both!)

Before I depart, let me wish “Happy Trails” to the Princess of Portugal and Baron Lee, who are soon to be off to a very dangerous and dirty locale, filled with shady characters and unrepentant criminals…..  No, they’re not going to San Francisco, they are going to Egypt.  The land of sand.  They hope to see the $10,000 Pyramid while they’re in town.  Bring me back a fez!

I shall be in touch soon, so please don’t worry about me if you read some disparaging article in the National Enquirer.  Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT frequent nude beaches when I go to the Caribbean.  (Of course, that depends on your definition of the word “frequent.”  Frequency is in the eye of the beholder.)  And speaking of frequency, no more jokes about my honeymoon will be tolerated on this blog!

That is all for now….  have a safe and superlative week!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff



2 thoughts on “QUAKING IN MY SHOES!

  1. Hi Dr Y!

    I love following you through your blogs and seeing all the adventures you’re up to. Your dad jokes and puns never get old and are still my absolute favourite 😂

    Anyways, just wanted to reach out and say hi! This old student of yours is still a big fan.

    All my best,


    Sent from my iPhone


    • Good afternoon, Miss Sarah! So nice to hear from you… you were absolutely one of my best students! Hope all is well with you and yours back east. I’m very proud of the wonderful woman you’ve become. Send me a mailing address and I will send you an autographed book or two. (use my personal email address: stephen.yanoff@gmail.com) Take care!

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