Or is that Lysol I smell?  You can never tell during flu season.  In any case, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day.  I realize that it’s February 25th, but this is the day that I have always celebrated the holiday of love.  Why?  Because candy and flowers are much cheaper.  (Like me)  I’ll admit that the leftover candy is a little stale and the flowers a tad wilted, but it’s the thought that counts.  (You don’t want to know what my wife is thinking right now!)  Women are so hard to please.

We received good news from the Princess of Portugal and her dashing hubby, Baron Lee.  The fearless adventurers managed to outrun Typhoon Gita, which recently struck New Zealand.  (They are sailing around that part of the world)  Their ship, the S.S. Minnow, fared well and stayed afloat, which ain’t a bad thing.  Hopefully they can now get back to enjoying the crocodiles, poisonous snakes, and box jellyfish.  (All three will be on the menu later in the week!)

New Zealand and Australia are not on the next book tour, but I will be returning to South Florida in May, and let’s face it, Broward and Dade County are very similar. (Except they have alligators.)  Big difference.  A croc will see you in a while, but you’ll have to wait until later to see a gator.  I once owned a pair of alligator boots, so I know what I’m talking about.

When I was a young lad, my favorite board game was MONOTONY.  I also liked SCRABBLE, but I thought they should have called it SCRAMBLE, because I always ended up with egg on my face.  (Bad spelling)  The reason I mention these games is because I’ve been watching the Olympic Winter Games.  My favorite event is the figurine skating.  I simply adored the feminine, tight-fitting costumes covered in sparkling sequins, worn by lovely skaters whose hair and makeup were dazzling.  (The women skaters looked good, too.)

I wanted to participate in the Winter Games, but I owned a pair of cheap skates.  (My parents glued butter knives to the bottom of my shoes.  The blades kept breaking on the ice.)  Well, what can I say?  Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.  My wife likes to say that time is a great healer, but a lousy beautician.  (No comment!)

When I was in Guatemala last month, I had the pleasure of renting a boat and traveling up the Rio Dulce River.  We were greatly impressed by the unspoiled beauty of the jungle, and we met some lovely folks along the way.  The highlight of the trip was a stop at a well-hidden jungle school for the indigenous people of the territory.  (I forget the name of the tribe, but they were very friendly.)  We brought along a bunch of textbooks for the children, and as I previously mentioned, I tried to sell them a few copies of my last history book, TURBULENT TIMES.  (They had no money, but I traded some books for a colorful bird.  Which we ate for lunch.)  Never order a parrot pizza in Guatemala!

As a special bonus for my loyal blog followers, I will be attaching some previously unseen photographs taken in the jungle.  The children is the photo were really cute, and very appreciative.  In fact, everyone we met in Guatemala was wonderful.  Next week I will try to post some photos from New Zealand and Australia.  (Unless you-know-who are eaten by those warriors with the tattoos!)

Until then, keep smiling and remember that laughing is like jogging on the inside!

Love to all,

Doc Yanoff