SAIL OF THE CENTURY!

Well, once again, I have consistently displayed the reason that certain (misbehaving) individuals were forced to walk the plank at sea!  How did I know that the life boat drill was mandatory?  I thought they said “mundane.”  (Which was true) And who knew you were not supposed to throw the life preservers overboard after the drill?  Jeez, you’d think they would have said something about that.  (They take up so much room in the closet.  Who needs both of them?)  Anyway, other than the above, and cheating in the first poker tournament, I have been extraordinarily well-behaved during our wonderful voyage.

And speaking of wonderful….  we have met so many wonderful folks!  Mainly from the U.S. and Canada, and each with a remarkable life story.  I am continuously fascinated by the lives that people have led up to this point, and greatly impressed by the amazing contributions they have made to society.  I’d like to give a little shout out to some of my new buddies…..  Sabatino & Joyce, Tom & Sally, Ann & Nelson, Ellis, Marty & Rochelle, and Robert & Ann.  (Our sweet Canadians!)

The Cayman Islands were a tad windy, but after a short 6-mile trek across the rugged mountains (more like hills) we managed to find our way to the first book signing, which was a HUGE success.  (Yes, there was plenty of rum!)  The next stop, even more glamorous, was a full afternoon at the Grand Occidental Resort in Cozumel.  (After I tripped walking up to the stage, they changed the name to the Grand ACCIDENTAL Hotel!)  The weather was sunny and warm, and our hosts treated us to an amazing Mexican-themed buffet.  (Yes, there was plenty of tequila!)

Today we will be spending the day at a beautiful and tranquil resort at Costa Maya, Mexico.  In Spanish, Costa Maya means Costa Maya.  (surprise, surprise)  Our book signing and Gringo Inspired Lecture will take place at the Barefoot Beach Club, which should be quite interesting.  (The beach has a “topless section.”)  No big deal to me.  I usually go topless anyway.  I’ll try to take some photographs, but I got in trouble doing that last year.  I’ll see what “develops” this year!

Needless to say, we are having a terrific “working vacation” and are greatly impressed by the food and service aboard our ship.  (Oddly named “Titanic II”)  I won’t worry unless I see Leonardo Dicaprio on deck, but for now, all is well.  The seas have been rather cooperative, but I’ve noticed that much of the water in the Caribbean is salty.  (What’s that about?)  I do hope that all of my sweet blog followers are safe and warm at home.  (We’ve been watching the weather reports)  Hopefully the cold weather will soon be gone.

Well, at they say in the sun tan lotion business, I don’t mean to rub it in, but it’s time to hit the beach!  First stop is a complimentary one hour massage!  I wanted to be a masseuse when I was young, but they told me that I rub people the wrong way!  (Two “rub” jokes in one blog!)  Assuming that my dear wife doesn’t get caught smuggling any emeralds (again), I shall write another blog in the near future.

Until then, stay safe, stay warm, and PLEASE don’t worry about me.  (Hey, somebody has to support the Mexican economy!)  Love to all,

Señor Estaban Yanoff   (a/k/a Doc Yanoff)

 

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